The Master Will Take You All Out for Some Fun

"Buddha is wise."

Although Tathagata Buddha had done nothing at all, the flattery still had to be delivered.

Tathagata Buddha thoroughly enjoyed the bootlicking from below.

Guanyin Bodhisattva hurried anxiously to the Great Thunderclap Monastery, initially thinking it had caught fire.

The moment she stepped inside, thick smoke billowed out, nearly making her throw up from the choking fumes.

Seeing every Buddha with a cigarette in his mouth, she could not help but frown.

She had never imagined that after merely a few days away from Spirit Mountain, it would have become like this.

Every Buddha and Arhat had learned to smoke.

And Tathagata had not stopped them?

Looking at those bald monks with narrowed eyes, cigarettes hanging from their mouths, and blissful expressions...

The more she looked, the stranger it seemed.

"Buddha, I have returned."

Guanyin Bodhisattva gave a slight bow below, returned to her proper place, and stood to one side.

Yet the smoke drifting all around made wave after wave of nausea rise within her.

"Guanyin Bodhisattva, do you have any ideas for the next trial?" Tathagata Buddha asked.

With Sun Wukong still by Tang Sanzang's side, things were difficult to handle.

Their master-disciple group was about to reach the Baoxiang Kingdom.

They would encounter Kui Mulang, rescue Princess Baihua, and then there would be the tiger transformation in the Golden Throne Hall.

With Sun Wukong there, Kui Mulang might very well get beaten to death.

As for the tiger transformation in the Golden Throne Hall...

Forget it. It was doubtful whether Kui Mulang would even survive until then.

Hearing this, Guanyin Bodhisattva secretly rolled her eyes.

You are the boss of Spirit Mountain. Why are you asking me whether I have a solution?

If you do not have one, could I possibly have one?

"This one has no countermeasure for the moment."

Guanyin Bodhisattva recited a Buddhist invocation.

Tathagata Buddha stubbed out his cigarette and looked down.

Yet when all the Buddhas saw his gaze, they either lowered their heads or looked away.

The meaning was obvious: do not ask them; they had no solution either.

Seeing this, Tathagata Buddha felt a little exhausted.

It felt as though he had no useful people at all.

If these Buddhas were even the slightest bit useful, I would not have to work this hard. While thinking, Tathagata instinctively lit another cigarette.

He began puffing out clouds of smoke.

After taking a drag, his eyes suddenly lit up.

He had an idea.

"Guanyin Bodhisattva, I will have to trouble you to descend to the mortal realm later and take Sun Wukong away from their group. Just say that I have something to discuss with him."

Tang Sanzang had not driven Sun Wukong away, but he could take him away himself.

He could simply say that he had business with him. How could Sun Wukong refuse to come?

Tathagata Buddha became increasingly impressed by his own cleverness.

He could not help giving his own maneuver a huge thumbs-up.

I am so smart. If I am not the boss, who should be?

What kind of solution was that?

Still, the Buddhas below had to offer their flattery.

"Buddha is wise."

Guanyin Bodhisattva turned her head to one side. "I am not going."

What the hell?

You dared refuse to go?

How bold!

Buddha's face darkened as he prepared to rebuke her.

Then Guanyin Bodhisattva continued, "You should take a look at the Mystic Light Mirror and see what they are doing."

Hmm?

Buddha looked toward the Mystic Light Mirror.

His neck stretched forward at once, and his eyes opened wide.

Like an old turtle that had been thirsty for years finally seeing water.

He was filled with astonishment and disbelief...

Fuck.

The Buddhas of Spirit Mountain also widened their eyes. After looking at the Mystic Light Mirror, they all turned their gazes toward Buddha.

Tang Sanzang's group had already reached a small town beneath the Baoxiang Kingdom.

But the moment they arrived at the town entrance...

Tang Sanzang grabbed a nearby guard and asked, "Where is the biggest and best brothel around here?"

A monk wanted to visit a brothel?

The soldier thought he had misheard.

"Hurry up. Where is the brothel?" Tang Yu asked impatiently.

He could barely hold himself back anymore.

Ever since leaving Gao Family Village, he had gone so long without any release.

Though he had personally gone into battle before, the feelings were different.

How could it compare to having someone else do the work?

"Go straight. Not far from here is Myriad Flowers Pavilion, the biggest brothel around."

The soldier seemed not to have recovered from his shock, and even his voice stammered.

"Disciples, your master will take you all out for some fun."

Tang Yu was brimming with excitement as he took the lead.

Perhaps Zhu Bajie was the only one interested in this matter.

Sun Wukong had no interest whatsoever. If they were fighting a demon or something, he might have been a little interested.

Moreover, during this time, he had grown silent.

He gave off an air of lifeless gloom.

He would often instinctively reach out, wanting to stroke the cloak on his body.

But the purple cloak had long vanished into smoke along with the dead White Bone Demon.

Every time he reached out to touch it, he could not help falling into a daze.

As for Sha Wujing, he merely asked, "Can those brothel women be eaten?"

Well then.

Having encountered two disciples who did not understand romance, Tang Yu was helpless as well.

Thankfully, Er Daizi was there to accompany his master.

Not far away, he found a pawnshop and directly pawned his Buddhist staff in exchange for money to pay for whores.

After all, he had no money.

And the currencies did not even match.

It seemed that next time Samantabhadra Bodhisattva came to trade for cigarettes, he should secretly keep a few treasures.

Just in case.

After exchanging the money, he took Zhu Bajie and plunged straight into the brothel.

Ready to have a good time.

Guanyin Bodhisattva's body trembled slightly. The precious Buddhist staff she had given him had been traded for money to visit whores.

Tathagata Buddha's hand holding the cigarette began to tremble as well.

With a wave of his hand, he shut off the Mystic Light Mirror.

As for what Tang Sanzang's group had gone to the brothel to do...

It was perfectly clear.

They certainly had not gone there merely to eat.

No wonder Guanyin Bodhisattva had said she would not go.

With something like this, let alone Guanyin Bodhisattva, a female Bodhisattva, even Tathagata Buddha found it rather painful to watch.

But if Sun Wukong was not taken away, how could the next trial proceed?

"Haha, this Tang Sanzang truly suits my tastes."

The speaker was Joyful Buddha, once Chang'er Dingguang Immortal.

He and Tathagata Buddha had once both served under Sage Tongtian.

After Daoist Duobao became Tathagata Buddha, he had sought him out first.

But Chang'er Dingguang Immortal drank, ate, gambled, visited whores, and did everything imaginable. He simply did not fit Buddhism's doctrine of the Fourfold Emptiness.

Yet he had to be brought over first.

After all, Chang'er Dingguang Immortal possessed quasi-sage cultivation, only slightly weaker than Tathagata Buddha.

Back then, Tathagata Buddha's eyes shifted, and he immediately came up with an idea.

Since that was the case, I will appoint you Joyful Buddha.

It would not interfere with your drinking, eating, and having fun.

The only thing that changed was his identity: from Chang'er Dingguang Immortal of the Jie Sect to Joyful Buddha of Buddhism.

Therefore, Joyful Buddha was also the only person in Buddhism who did not need to observe the Buddhist Sect's precepts.

"Since that is the case, I will have to trouble Joyful Buddha to make the trip," Tathagata Buddha said.

Joyful Buddha happily accepted the Buddhist decree.

He had not indulged himself in a long time either. He would take this opportunity to let loose as well.

"Hmph, but let me remind you not to forget your current identity," Tathagata Buddha snorted.

The meaning was obvious: do not spout nonsense, old man. You are now a member of the Buddhist Sect.

"These cigarettes are quite nice to smoke."

Joyful Buddha replied with a half-smile.