That night with Jingliu was an experience no one could forget.
Even if Xianyu became mara-struck, he probably still would not forget it.
If he could, Xianyu would have loved to post a video with a watermelon-strip face filter and thoroughly roast this sword-obsessed Sword Champion.
He had even worked out the caption.
Guys, who gets it? I took a drunk friend home, only to get forced into sparring with her for three hours...
Three whole hours! That was a shut-in's entire year of exercise right there!
All he could say was that she certainly lived up to her title as the Luofu's Sword Champion.
He fought stiffly, unable to last even three moves against her. No matter how tightly he gripped his sword, she knocked it out of his hand with ease.
Throughout those three hours of sparring with Jingliu, he was either picking up his sword or on his way to pick it up.
The ordeal left Xianyu utterly exhausted.
As an office worker, the last time he had exercised that intensely was during his school's PE exam...
Fortunately, Jingliu had held back. Aside from the abuse his clothes suffered, he had not sustained any injuries.
Stray sword energy had slashed his clothes to ribbons. Whenever the wind blew, both his chest and back felt cold.
If he went outside dressed like this, people would either mistake him for a beggar and hand him Strales, or the Cloud Knights would take him for a lunatic and haul him off to the Alchemy Commission...
The sparring session only ended when Jingliu collapsed first.
Under the double debuff of drunkenness and exhaustion, the Sword Champion finally fell asleep.
Hearing her barely audible breathing, Xianyu let out a sigh of relief.
Thank goodness she fell asleep. Otherwise, we'd still be hacking away at each other.
Remembering all those cases of drunk people choking to death, he could no longer worry about privacy. He picked his jacket up off the ground, shook the dust off, wrapped Jingliu in it, and carried her into her home.
The interior decor was much like the courtyard.
The diplomatic version: it had a minimalist beauty.
The blunt version: there was nothing but furniture.
Aside from the essential furnishings, there was nothing else.
Fortunately, the bedroom had pillows and bedding.
Xianyu removed the jacket wrapped around Jingliu, pulled out a quilt, and adjusted her sleeping position through it.
Once he was certain there would be no disastrous incident of "Sword Champion dies from drunkenness," Xianyu wrapped himself in his jacket and fled at his usual heading-home-after-work speed.
Xianyu was numb.
People really had not been lying.
Shyness? Romantic tension? All illusions.
Jingliu's earlier behavior had left him awkward and nervous, even giving him the irresistible impression that she liked him.
The sparring afterward had snapped him completely out of it.
She likes me? Impossible.
Who trades blows with their crush?
What kind of Iron Straight Girl would do something like this...?
It was as absurd as finally getting your crush to go out with you, then taking her to an internet café for a date, challenging her to a one-on-one match, killing her dozens of times, and gleefully spawn-camping her.
The Sword Champion was terrifying indeed.
Even drunk, she had every move engraved in her DNA. Like a prewritten program, her instinctive reactions alone were enough to wipe out her enemies.
No wonder Jingliu was the Sword Champion.
Xianyu also gained a profound respect for Jingliu's other drinking buddies.
They probably got forced into practicing Swordsmanship with her all the time.
When he reached home and took out his Jade Abacus, an endless stream of messages flooded the screen.
He automatically ignored the work group chat and opened Jing Yuan's messages first.
Jing Yuan had sent over a dozen stickers of cats beating people up.
Only after scrolling upward did he find any text.
[Jing Yuan: Xianyu]
[Jing Yuan: This might be the last time I call you that.]
[Jing Yuan: Cat lashes out.gif]
Xianyu was baffled.
[No replies outside work hours: ?]
As it turned out, Jing Yuan was still awake and replied immediately.
[Jing Yuan: ...]
[Jing Yuan: Where are you right now?]
Before Xianyu could finish typing, another message arrived.
[Jing Yuan: Forget it. I don't want to know.]
Xianyu: "..."
You're going to know whether you want to or not. Do you have any idea what I've been through these past three hours?!
He really wanted to complain to Jing Yuan about his master.
But the person in question was Jingliu.
Had it been Baiheng, he would have taken unflattering photos and videos, then used them to blackmail her into buying him a meal. Neither of them would have held it against the other.
But this time, with Jingliu... it was too awkward.
After some thought, Xianyu settled on a more tactful choice of words.
Jing Yuan would surely understand what he was implying.
[No replies outside work hours: Just got home. So tired. Your master's really amazing.]
[Jing Yuan: ...]
Jing Yuan's status kept showing that he was typing, but no message came through for ages.
[No replies outside work hours: She really lives up to being the Sword Champion. First time I've ever seen someone practice Swordsmanship with people while drunk. And once she started, she wouldn't stop...]
[Jing Yuan: You deserve to die.]
[Jing Yuan recalled a message.]
Xianyu watched him retract it.
Being cursed at out of nowhere made anger rise within him, but his overwhelming exhaustion quickly snuffed it out.
He could not get angry. He simply could not.
He felt like a corporate slave who had worked twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week for years, like an employee who unconditionally fulfilled every unreasonable client demand, or, better yet, like a fish butcher who had spent ten years killing fish at RT-Mart.
Devoid of all emotion, he typed mechanically.
[No replies outside work hours: Then she practiced swordplay with me for three hours.]
[Jing Yuan: ...Are you okay?]
Xianyu looked at his shirt, which, without the jacket, left him practically indecent, and kept typing.
[No replies outside work hours: I'm fine. No injuries. One ruined shirt.]
Jing Yuan was astonished and sent several stickers in quick succession.
[Jing Yuan: You're saying you practiced Swordsmanship with my master while she was drunk, lasted three hours, and came away completely unscathed?]
Xianyu: "..."
Judging by Jing Yuan's reaction, something seemed off.
[Jing Yuan: Master gets really fierce when she's drunk... Even Imbibitor Lunae has trouble lasting three hours.]
[Jing Yuan: Every time I asked you to spar before, you said you had no talent for martial arts. Who would've thought? You've been hiding your abilities again!]
[Jing Yuan: Don't tell me you're still planning to pretend to be an ordinary person?]
Xianyu: "..."
Xianyu typed furiously.
[No replies outside work hours: Is that the point? I'll beat you up!]
[Jing Yuan: Sure. Let's spar once you're ready to use your full strength.]
[No replies outside work hours: ...I'm done talking to you. I'm asking the Diviner for leave so I can rest for a day.]
[Jing Yuan: You didn't check the work chat again... Someone important is coming to the Luofu tomorrow. Don't go breaking the rules right under everyone's nose!]
Xianyu: Who cares what big shot it is... Forget generals or the Marshal. Even an Aeon couldn't stop me from taking leave!
[No replies outside work hours: Doesn't matter. I can just skip work.]
[Jing Yuan: ...]
If being a shut-in did not clash with his ordinary-person persona, why would he need to work at all...?
Xianyu searched for a leave-request template on his Jade Abacus, copied it, made a few edits, and sent it to the Diviner.
Then he stripped off his shredded shirt and tossed it into the trash, forcing his exhausted body into the bathroom for a shower.
After a hurried wash, Xianyu flopped into bed, his hair still too wet to have been properly dried.
As he drifted toward sleep, an enormous figure abruptly appeared in his mind.
They resembled an indescribable entity cast from ice.
Their facial contours were strange, as though hewn with knives and axes, their features indistinct. A crown draped with strings of beads rested on their head.
They said nothing, merely standing there.
The next second, they vanished.
Meanwhile, in an unknown corner of the universe, a pitch-black humanoid wearing an extravagant mask laughed aloud.
Aha: "You're not talking to him because you're afraid he'll call you a cryptic riddler, aren't you? Hahahahahahaha-"
The enormous crowned figure made of ice remained silent, suddenly conjuring two Light Cones.
Aha leaned over with a laugh, then fell silent the instant they finished looking.
"Whether in his previous life or this one, he refused to become your Emanator. This time, perhaps he will choose 'The Hunt' again."
Seeing that Aha said nothing, Fuli looked at the two Light Cones and continued:
"Do you remember? 'Elation' in the pleasure quarters, the tears 'Elation' shed."
"Only he could make the Aeon of 'Elation' the butt of the joke."
Aha paused, then clutched their stomach and burst out laughing again.
"How interesting. Far too interesting! I think you could be the Aeon of 'Elation' too-"
Fuli ignored them and vanished in an instant, leaving Aha alone.
Wearing a mask whose expression could have been either laughter or tears, Aha murmured to themself:
"My dearest friend, hurry up and remember-"
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