Much more clearheaded

Grandpa?!

With his neck twisted like a corkscrew, his eyes bulged and the veins on his forehead stood out, making him look especially eerie.

Hearing him say "Grandpa" now, on top of everything he had done before, Xu Ye felt as though a swarm of cockroaches were crawling over his back.

Inside Xu Ye's mind, Alice's fur bristled. "Grandpa? Who the fuck are you calling Grandpa? I'm a girl! Call me Grandma!"

"Xu Ye, beat him to death for me! He's disgusting."

"..."

Alice, that's not the point.

Sitting in the jeep, Meng Chengfei rubbed his chin as he watched the footage on his computer screen. He took a sip of tea, suppressing the flicker of battle lust in his eyes.

Stay calm!

Stay calm!

Stay classy.

He straightened the creases in his collar.

"Xu Ye, try to calm him down."

"He's only been polluted. He hasn't mutated. Right now, Li Kang still thinks he's normal, but if you give him any reason to realize something's wrong with him, his pollution level will immediately rise, and he'll mutate on the spot."

"He's the central figure in this pollution incident, but he definitely isn't the pollution source. Otherwise, he would have mutated long ago. Still, we need to start with him and trace it back to its origin."

"Every pollution incident has a complete chain of cause and effect that forms a closed loop. All we need to do is figure out that loop, and we can find the pollution source."

"A pollution source is simply the origin of any pollution incident."

"A contaminant doesn't have to be a person, but it has to be alive."

"...Only living things can have a second personality and subsequently cause pollution. That includes plants."

Meng Chengfei paused, then continued quickly.

"In some pollution incidents, the causal chain is very simple. Take your test today, for example-a little attention is all it takes to spot it. But some can be quite troublesome..."

Listening to the voice in his earpiece, Xu Ye settled his nerves. He regarded Li Kang with a languid gaze and smiled. "I'm not your grandpa. I'm a doctor."

Li Kang tilted his head, looking a little confused, as though he had regained a shred of reason. "A doctor? Right, I'm seeing a doctor."

"Doctor, am I sick...? I'm acting so strangely. I've been seeing so many grandpas."

Xu Ye shook his head and sighed, then said earnestly, "How about this? To determine whether you're sick, I'll first tell you about a few things that have been bothering me, and you can give me some advice."

"All right." Li Kang's head was still twisted as he stared eerily at Xu Ye.

"Here's the thing. I fell for a nurse at our hospital. She's very pretty-the prettiest woman in the hospital... She has fair skin and beautiful features, and she's even a distant relative of a noble in Sky City. I'm the only person in the entire hospital worthy of her."

"One day, I asked her to have tea with me after work, and she agreed."

"I think love takes effort from both sides, so I told her loud and clear that as long as she took one step, I'd take the remaining ninety-nine."

"But she refused. Absolutely refused."

"She told me to shut up and play chess properly. Mr. Li, I just don't understand. Who made those rules, anyway? Aren't I handsome enough for the rules to bend a little?" Xu Ye asked sincerely.

"???"

Question marks were written all over Li Kang's face.

Doctor, I think you should get yourself treated first.

Is this guy an idiot?

Should I find another doctor?

"Dr. Xu, I think you should stick to the rules of chess. Besides, given your status, I doubt she'd be interested in you."

Li Kang considered the matter, his neck turning back ninety degrees until his face was over his shoulder.

He shifted around to face Xu Ye again.

Xu Ye declared without entertaining any objections, "How could she not be interested in me? Oh, there's something else. The nurses in our department told me the other day that they thought men who used cutesy baby talk were adorable. But when I tried it, they all got angry."

"What did you say?" Li Kang asked curiously.

"I'm your dada," Xu Ye said, blinking his big eyes.

"I even said 'your' politely."

???

Li Kang took a long, deep breath.

If you're not single, who would be?

If it were me, I'd slap that mouth right off your fucking face.

"Pfft!"

Hearing that from inside the jeep, Meng Chengfei spat out an entire mouthful of tea.

Looking at the tea-covered steering wheel, he hurriedly pulled out a wet wipe and carefully wiped it clean.

What kind of freak have I recruited?!

Inside the consultation room, Xu Ye saw that he had successfully derailed the other man's thoughts, and that his body was no longer twisting into anything strange. He knew he was close to achieving the desired effect.

He was pretty good at distracting people.

"Mr. Li, I may keep talking about women, but I'm also a researcher with a passion for science. For instance, I've been studying why the global climate has been getting warmer all these years."

"It's because so many authors keep writing that people 'sucked in a breath of cold air.'"

???

Li Kang said nothing, but Xu Ye could clearly see his features contorting, his face covered in enormous question marks.

At the same time, another fit of violent coughing came through Xu Ye's earpiece from Meng Chengfei.

"So, Mr. Li, do you think there's something wrong with me?" Xu Ye folded his hands on the desk.

Li Kang hesitated, then said cautiously, "Doctor, I think there's a little something wrong. No normal person would do those things."

Xu Ye grinned and spread his hands, bluffing away. "So, even with me acting like this, there's nothing seriously wrong with me. Do you really think those things you've done are a problem?"

Li Kang froze, then mulled it over. "When you put it that way, that does make sense. Doctor, I don't think I'm sick."

Whoosh-

As he finished speaking, Li Kang's entire neck rotated another 270 degrees counterclockwise, returning to normal. His vitality and reason returned.

"Doctor, thank you. After that little talk, I feel much more clearheaded."

"Have him take us to where he dumped the bodies. I've already sent a special operations team. They'll follow behind you," Meng Chengfei said through the earpiece.

Xu Ye smiled. "Of course, you have done a few things wrong, like dumping bodies wherever you please. Cremation is encouraged these days, so let's go bring the bodies back and burn them."

"That makes sense." Without giving it much thought, Li Kang nodded.

He stood up and walked toward the door.

Xu Ye had a vague sense of understanding.

Although Li Kang hadn't mutated, people with mild pollution seemed to have minor problems with their reasoning, and their behavior was slightly abnormal as well.

Just then, Xu Ye's heart suddenly began to squirm.

He instinctively checked the time. It was just past twelve.

[My name is Xu Ye. I'm a virgin, eighteen years old. I like singing, dancing, basketball, and money. I thought becoming an Awakened would make me unstoppable, but I never expected to be set up.]

[I followed Li Kang outside. I thought he had returned to normal, but in reality, he had already mutated.]

[He was a highly intelligent Aberrant who knew how to conceal himself. He launched a sneak attack when I wasn't paying attention.]

[I fought him to the death, but ultimately, I was no match for him. Fortunately, Captain Meng rushed in and saved me, though I was still seriously injured.]

[I lost consciousness.]

[Alice seized the opportunity to take over my body and put on women's clothes.]

[...]

[My name is Xu Alice Ye. I'm a virgin cat, eighteen years old. I like wearing black stockings, short skirts, and high heels...]

At the sight of those messages, Xu Ye's body abruptly stiffened.