The Most Vicious Couple in the Seireitei / Kid, Wanna Sell Yourself?

Such cruel torture exists in this world!

Fifty years ago, he began to study landscape painting, originally thinking that he would become a master. However, he went further and further down the path of creating gimmicks and ended up being completely blacklisted by the art circle.

Thirty years ago, he started learning to play Go and often went to the First Division to play against the Captain Commander.

Yamabuki Chidori didn't understand. "My five stones are already in a row, why won't the Captain Commander admit defeat?"

When you get old, you just can't afford to lose!

Finally, the Captain Commander wielded Ryūjin Jakka and hacked at him for three days, yelling as he did so, "If you ever treat Gomoku like Go again, I'm breaking off all ties with you!"

Now he has started practicing calligraphy.

It can only be described in two words: abstract.

The kitten's tail, dipped in ink, mimicked a cat-and-mouse game on the paper; the resulting drawing was less abstract than the calligraphy meticulously written by Yamabuki Chidori.

"These people don't understand art. In our literary terms, art is what we can't understand. If everyone could understand it, would it still be called art? Let's give them a round of applause!"

The group around her looked at Yamabuki Chidori Kerria with weary expressions, thinking, "Forget it, you can do it by yourself, we're not going to bother with you anymore!"

At that moment, he was copying the "Timely Clearing After Snow" calligraphy. When Wang Xizhi arrived, he was full of praise.

I can't recognize a word written here!

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Teacher, do you have time? Come in right away!" Shunsui Kyōraku happily opened the door and brought the Maru in.

Yamabuki Chidori glanced at the large, dark-skinned man Shunsui Kyōraku had brought in.

Who is this? A new member of the Gotei 13?

Now that Shunsui Kyōraku had a backer, he immediately started stirring up trouble. "Teacher, this guy wants to see just how big the pinnacle of the world really is, so he's come to challenge you. He also said that since my strength is so weak, the Teacher who taught me must not be that strong either. I'm really sorry for embarrassing Teacher, but then I thought about it and what he said seemed to make some sense..."

Yamabuki Chidori almost laughed in exasperation; this kid had brought an enemy he couldn't handle right into his own hands.

However... this big oaf's Reiatsu is indeed not weak.

Just as Yamabuki Chidori was about to ask a question, Maru spoke up first.

"You're his Teacher? You're just a kid yourself! What is this writing? Hahahaha, your handwriting is so terrible! Even my dog writes better than this!"

Shunsui Kyōraku covered his face. "Brother, I'll go order a coffin for you right now. I hope it's not too late!"

Chapter 99: The Most Vicious Couple in Seireitei

Yamabuki Chidori smiled gently. "You don't understand. This is called art."

"You dare call this stuff art? I can write better with my left hand. Young man, you should humbly accept your shortcomings. It's not your fault that your handwriting is bad, but it's wrong of you to show it off everywhere!" Maru reached out and patted Yamabuki Chidori's shoulder hard, laughing loudly as he did so.

Yamabuki Chidori laughed along, "Do you really enjoy taking pictures of people?"

"Huh?" Maru didn't understand what the other person meant for a moment. The next instant, Yamabuki Chidori's hand was already on his face.

The Maru had no time to resist and instantly lost consciousness.

He suddenly opened his eyes and found himself in a very magical place. Flowers were blooming at his feet, the sky was blue and the clouds were white, and there was a clear river in front of him. A stone tablet was planted on the riverbank and it was inscribed with "Sanzu River".

On the other side of the river, a very kind old lady was waving to him.

"Isn't that my grandma who hates me the most?" Maru excitedly ran towards his grandmother, just about to cross the Sanzu River, when he suddenly realized something was wrong. Hadn't his grandmother died hundreds of years ago? The Sanzu River Sanzu River? Isn't it a place for the dead? But the Soul Society is inhabited by Shinigami (death gods), so why would I, already dead, cross the Sanzu River?

Isn't this world reality?

The moment I realized it was a dream, the beautiful scenery around me began to collapse, and a white light appeared directly above me.

After a long while, the Maru lying on the hospital bed opened its eyes.

The clear sunlight outside was a bit dazzling.

The Maru reached out to cover itself.

What happened? I remember I just got into a fight with someone, then I was ambushed and accidentally slapped!

How did I end up here? Do I have dementia?

Maru struggled to sit up in bed, feeling stiff all over as if he hadn't moved in a long time.

Just then, a medical staff member from the Fourth Division came in to check on him and found that Maru had woken up. He quickly began to examine Maru's body.

"Hey kid, where exactly is this place?!" Maru was suddenly in an unfamiliar scene, and couldn't help but feel a little flustered.

"Don't be afraid, this is the Fourth Division, a place specifically for treatment. You were seriously injured, and it took us a lot of effort to save you!" a member of the Fourth Division said calmly.

"Nonsense! Who could possibly hurt me? I'm invincible! I was just ambushed and slightly outmatched!" Maru roared. "Where's the guy who injured me? I want a one-on-one duel with him! By the way, how long was I unconscious? Is he still at work? He should still be in his office!"

The members of the Fourth Division said in a very helpless tone, "What nonsense are you talking about? Forty-one days have passed since you were knocked unconscious. When you were brought here, your heart had stopped beating, you had a broken neck, a severe concussion, and a fractured skull. In more than forty days, these injuries have only healed. You really are a monster!"

"Forty... more than forty days?" Maru swallowed hard.

He was actually slapped so hard that he was unconscious for more than forty days!

"Impossible! I'm getting out of here right now!" Maru roared.

"Please wait a moment. Your body still needs to be checked. There might be hidden injuries elsewhere. Please don't struggle. Here's today's medicine. Please take it obediently." The Fourth Division member came over with water and medicine.

"Nonsense! You're all ganging up on me! I'm not going to fall for that so easily. Get out of here, or I'll tear this hospital down! Get out, get out!" Maru's roar grew louder and more violent.

"Please keep your voice down, there are many patients here who need to rest, please don't be so loud..." the Fourth Division member hurriedly said.

Just then, the door to the ward suddenly opened, and a woman with a gentle and kind smile walked in.

"Captain..." The team member helplessly turned to his Captain for help.

"Please be quiet, patient!" Unohana said gently.

"Get out of my way! You're all bad people, I don't trust any of you! Get out of my way!" Maru grew increasingly agitated.

"Please be quiet, patient," Unohana said again.

An invisible pressure enveloped Maru's entire body. The oppressive feeling caused Maru's roar to stop abruptly, cold sweat beaded on his forehead, and he looked at the gentle woman in front of him with terrified eyes.

Maru had a feeling that if he dared to utter another note, his neck would snap.

This sense of danger was unprecedented.

So he chose to obediently keep his mouth shut.

"Take your medicine," Unohana.

The Maru obediently swallowed the medicine the doctor brought.

"First of all, please allow me to apologize for this." Unohana bowed slightly. "The person who injured you is my husband. He's over two hundred years old, yet sometimes he acts like a child. I've already spoken to him about this, so please don't take it to heart."

Maru swallowed hard.

How could such a terrifying woman even get married?

It's simply the Miracle!

Of course, he kept these words to himself and didn't dare to say them aloud, otherwise he might not even need treatment.

"Also..." Unohana handed over a bill. "This is the cost of your treatment over the past forty-one days. Please settle the bill."

The Maru's expression turned very strange.

"Um... didn't you just say that the person who injured me was your husband? Won't the medical expenses be reimbursed?" Maru asked cautiously.

"The Fourth Division provides completely free treatment for members of the Gotei 13, from minor ailments like the common cold to terminal illnesses. However, if the person being treated is not a member of the Gotei 13, they must pay a certain medical fee, as our medical resources are limited. The person who injured you was indeed my husband. After you pay the medical fees, you can take this bill to him for reimbursement. Whether he pays compensation or not is his problem, not mine. So, please pay." Unohana smiled as she looked at the fat sheep before her.

Maru wanted to cry; he felt like he'd wandered into a shady hospital.

He reached into his pockets and put all his valuables there, but compared to the sky-high medical bills, it was still a drop in the ocean.

"This is all the money I have! How about we just forget about it?" Maru said cautiously.

Unohana squinted, and before she knew it, her delicate hand was already resting on the hilt of the sword, a blade that hadn't tasted blood for two hundred years, ready to be drawn at any moment.

"Wait! Wait! I... I can write an IOU, I can find a way to pay back the money!" Maru shouted.

Chapter 100: Kid, wanna sell yourself?

Maru left the Fourth Division with a bitter expression, holding the hospital bill in his hand.

He discovered that the feng shui of Seireitei was bad, and he had been experiencing bad luck in everything since he arrived there.

First, you meet an incredibly strong man, and then you meet a woman who doesn't reason with you at all.

These two people are from the same family!

As the old saying goes, people who aren't family don't enter the same door.

Let the two of you continue to torment each other.

But where am I supposed to get that kind of money?

He was practically penniless; the little money he had had had been Unohana as a deposit.

"How about we go ask the person who injured me for money? I've been in the hospital for so long, I should at least pay some medical expenses!" Maru came to the Staff Department with a reasonable attitude.

The Staff Department members usually have a very leisurely work schedule, sipping hot tea while looking at the documents in their hands.

Even if you see the Maru barging in, you don't need to do anything about it.

It's important to know that there are two places in Soul Society that are the safest.

One is the First Division Barracks of the Gotei 13.

The security there is very lax, but the strongest Shinigami in the entire Soul Society is recognized as being stationed there, so no one dares to go there and cause trouble.

The second is the Staff Department.

All Grim Reapers know that there is a monster in the Staff Department who is so powerful that he can hardly be considered a Grim Reaper.

Therefore, security here is usually very lax.

"I'm looking for your leader," Maru said arrogantly.

The staff member reviewing the documents, without looking up, said, "Just keep walking straight in, that's the Chief Strategist's office. Go there yourself."

Maru was extremely displeased with this attitude. "I'm your guest! Is this how you treat your guests?"

Although he was very arrogant outside, he became cautious as soon as he arrived at the door of Yamabuki Chidori's office. What if this bastard slapped him again? He hadn't finished paying off the medical bills yet!

"Knock knock knock!" Maru knocked carefully on the door.

The boy's voice came from inside the door.

"The door's unlocked, come in!"

Only then did Maru feel relieved enough to open the door and enter, where he saw the boy frowning as he stared at the document in his hand.

"Awake? Pretty robust! You actually survived after I slapped you! I can only say that Unohana's medical skills have improved quite quickly lately." Yamabuki Chidori said very calmly, as if what she had done before was insignificant.

"Don't give me that nonsense! Look at this first!" Maru pulled out his hospital bill. "So much money! I could never pay it back in a hundred years! No way, you have to pay me. No matter what, you're the one who injured me! People have to be reasonable!"

"Yes! You're right, I completely agree with what you said. We should be reasonable! So put this hospital bill aside first, and take a look at this!" Yamabuki Chidori handed over an office repair bill.

Maru swallowed warily. "Why are you handing this to me?"

"We got into a fight in the office that day, and the office got damaged, but I paid for the repairs myself. Don't you think you should bear some of the responsibility?" Yamabuki Chidori asked.

"Huh? Are you kidding me? This is clearly your own responsibility! I'm the victim, the one who got beaten up. You should pay for my medical expenses, why should I pay for compensation? I won't do it!" Maru shouted.

He had already made up his mind: as soon as he left this office, he would run away as fast as he could, hide in the deep mountains and forests for two or three hundred years, and then come out again after everyone had forgotten about this matter.

"Don't even think about running away! The entire Soul Society is under our control. If you dare to run away while owing money, I will mobilize the entire Seireitei to hunt you down. There are more than a dozen people as strong as me in the Seireitei. Ask yourself honestly, can you escape from so many people chasing you?" Yamabuki Chidori said with a smile.

Maru finally realized that he had fallen into a den of thieves.

"Anyway, I have no money! Do whatever you want!" Maru plopped down on the ground.

"If you don't have money, you can pay with your body!" Yamabuki Chidori revealed a strange smile.

Maru felt a chill run through his body and hurriedly raised his hands to protect his chest. "What are you doing! I'm a very proper man."

"I don't know if you're serious or not, but I'm definitely not serious." Yamabuki Chidori gave a devilish smile.

Looking at the enormous sum on the bill, Maru gritted his teeth and stomped his foot.

"Do whatever you want, but please have pity on me!" Maru probably never dreamed that he would suffer such humiliation.

Tears of sorrow welled up in her eyes.