Where the Hell Was My Exit Button??

The very first second Cheng Ran opened his eyes, he felt something was wrong.

Twelve-out-of-ten wrong.

There was no system menu hovering in the upper left of his vision, nor a minimap tucked into the lower right.

Most importantly, out of habit, he mentally tapped where the exit button should have been.

Nothing popped up.

The exit button was gone!

Fuck! Cheng Ran swore inwardly, then discovered he could not even open his mouth.

Because the mouth was not his.

More precisely, this body was running on autopilot.

He could only experience everything around him through its senses, from a first-person perspective.

He was currently inside a magnificent, gold-adorned palace. Huge murals of Angel Descent covered the walls, and sandalwood incense filled the air.

The body moved, stopping before a full-length mirror edged in gold.

Cheng Ran finally had a chance to see what he looked like.

Reflected in the mirror was a girl of about fifteen or sixteen, with an angelic face and fair skin like the finest mutton-fat jade.

A long white dress accentuated her cool beauty, while her long golden hair made her look especially noble.

Cheng Ran recognized her!

Qian Renxue-a near-perfect live-action replica of her animated self.

The Young Master of Spirit Hall, heir to the Angel Martial Soul, and one of the most tragic characters in the original Douluo Continent.

Her looks hit the ceiling, her strength hit the ceiling, but her fate hit the floor.

Her father, Qian Xunji, was a Secret Chamber Douluo. Her mother, Bibi Dong, transferred her hatred for her father onto her, raising her as a tool from childhood and giving her not a shred of maternal love.

She spent her entire life living for others: for her father, for Spirit Hall, for the Angel God Inheritance. Never once had she lived for herself, and in the end, even her Angel Godhood was shattered.

To sum it up in two words: "Utterly stifling!"

But right now, Cheng Ran's attention was not on that. Instead...

"Sweet granny in heaven!"

"Even if I had to transmigrate to Douluo Continent, at least give me a man's body!"

"What the hell was making me Qian Renxue supposed to accomplish?"

"My sexual orientation is perfectly normal! I just want to snuggle up to sweet-smelling, soft girls!"

Just then, Cheng Ran suddenly discovered he could control the body.

He immediately tried over a dozen gestures and mental commands in an attempt to quit the game, but every one sank like a stone into the sea.

"What a cursed mess!"

The good news: he had transmigrated to Douluo Continent and become Qian Renxue, a top-tier scion.

The bad news: his original self was a guy.

The next second, a shrill female voice exploded.

"Ah! Who are you? Why are you controlling my body?"

The voice that suddenly rang out in his mind startled Cheng Ran.

"Huh? Bestie, why are you still here?"

Qian Renxue: ??

"What do you mean, why am I still here?"

"You-what exactly are you?!" Qian Renxue's voice was full of terror.

She tried to reclaim control of her body, only to discover that she could not move at all.

"My body won't obey me! What did you do to me?"

Cheng Ran's head ached. Wait, let me sort this out...

Does that mean I don't even have a fucking body of my own? I'm sharing Qian Renxue's body?

Shit, I've become Yao Lao!

Countless thoughts flashed through Cheng Ran's mind in an instant.

He soon realized that, given the situation, he had to calm Qian Renxue down first.

Heaven knew whether Qian Daoliu and Bibi Dong had some way to perform a mental purge.

If they erased him directly from Qian Renxue's mind, it would be GG.

So Cheng Ran bluffed-comforted-her. "Hey, girl, hold steady. I know you're panicking, but don't panic just yet."

Cheng Ran's voice rang out in Qian Renxue's mind, carrying a decidedly obnoxious tone.

"Listen to me, thank you."

"I'm a veteran player. Starting today, this account of yours is under my protection. You can call me Yao Lao-oh, wait, Cheng Lao."

"Calm down first. Take a deep breath. Your heart's beating too fast."

As he spoke, Cheng Ran reached up and patted his chest.

"Hmm? This feel..."

Damn, you already had assets this big at fifteen.

Qian Renxue, I underestimated you!

"Pervert! Where are you touching? Get the hell out of my body!" Qian Renxue was practically screaming.

Her mind was in complete chaos.

This consciousness that had appeared from who knew where spoke in such an outrageous way and used such strange words that she could not understand him at all.

"Veteran player," "bestie," "this account of yours"-she understood every word individually, but put together, they sounded like some incantation from another world.

She forced herself to calm down.

After all, she was Spirit Hall's Young Master. She had received the finest education from childhood and knew many secrets ordinary Soul Masters did not.

She recalled descriptions of Evil Soul Masters and Evil Gods she had read in some of Spirit Hall's ancient texts. They bore some resemblance to the bizarre situation she was experiencing now.

Her voice lowered, taking on a tentative note. "Are-are you an Evil Soul Master? No, even Evil Soul Masters don't have this power of possession. Could you be an Evil God?"

"An Evil God? If you can't understand what a veteran player is, you can consider me an Evil God for now. Heh heh heh..."

Cheng Ran was understanding-of how to undress people.

"I am an omnipotent, omniscient Evil God. Your future, your fate, your ending-I know it all."

There was a trace of pity in Cheng Ran's voice, but far more of the sort of humblebragging that made people grit their teeth.

"Girl, honestly, your ending is pretty miserable.

Your grandfather sacrificed himself for you, but the Angel Godhood you worked so hard to obtain was ultimately shattered by the sonny boy of one of your father's killers...

Forget it, let's not talk about the distant future. Even your own mother, Bibi Dong, doesn't love you.

Tsk. Tragic."

Qian Renxue fell silent, shocked to her core.

What this Evil God had said contained far too much information.

My grandfather sacrificed himself for me? Even after becoming a god, I lost to the son of someone who murdered my father? My mother doesn't love me...

The first two were matters of the future, and she truly had no way to verify them.

But the last was something Qian Renxue had noticed since childhood.

Her mother, Bibi Dong, treated her with a coldness bordering on hatred. From childhood until now, all the maternal love she had received amounted to no more than three hugs.

Although Spirit Hall's Consecrated Elders treated her respectfully, that respect seemed more like respect for a symbol.

She had known since childhood that she was more like a tool carrying out a mission.

Silence was tonight's Cambridge.

Cheng Ran panicked. Did I just talk Qian Renxue into shutting herself away?

No way. Did that line from the Zaun Academy, "Your mother doesn't love you," pack this much destructive power in Douluo too?

"Hey, hey, hey, Xiao Xue, don't worry. As the saying goes, those with distant worries are bound to have troubles close at hand. It's not like the future can't be changed..."

"E-Evil God, what else do you know?"

"This Evil God knows plenty.

I know you have the Angel God's seed inside you. I know your other identity is Xue Qinghe, crown prince of the Heaven Dou Empire. I know why your mother, Bibi Dong, hates you.

I know everything."

Cheng Ran finished in one breath. "This is the power of an Evil God: omnipotent, omniscient, capable of anything."

Qian Renxue felt her consciousness shaking violently.

Every word was like a knife, stabbing precisely into her most secret wounds.

The Angel God Seed and her identity as Xue Qinghe were both top secrets.

As for her father's death and Bibi Dong's attitude toward her, those were the deepest scars in her heart.

"You really are an Evil God?" Qian Renxue's voice trembled.