Kurama: Stay away from me!!!

"Naruto, wake up."

Kurama's voice rang out in Naruto's mind, waking him from his slumber.

Yeah, don't ask why Hashirama wasn't doing it.

Hashirama: Zzz~ Hoo~

Yesterday, when Naruto successfully entered the Ninja Academy, Hashirama received a reward.

There were three options on the blue screen at the time.

1. Talk to Tobirama for one minute.

2. Obtain a ninjutsu from the Scroll of Seals.

3. Obtain a design for a recreational activity.

Hashirama rubbed his chin and ruled out the second option first.

What a joke. Practically all the ninjutsu in the Scroll of Seals had been developed by Tobirama, and most had been sealed inside by Hashirama himself.

Tobirama: Big brother, I've developed another new ninjutsu.

Hashirama: Oh? Is it Water Release?

Tobirama: No.

Hashirama: Oh, the Scroll of Seals is in that drawer over there. Go get it yourself.

Back then, Tobirama had developed quite a few ninjutsu that harmed the body or threatened the village's well-being.

Take the Multiple Shadow Clone Technique, for example. The feedback from too many shadow clones could overwhelm a person's body.

Then there was the Genjutsu: Bringer-of-Darkness Technique, which specialized in countering the Uchiha and was extremely effective against their Sharingan.

Tobirama: Guess what drove me to develop one forbidden jutsu after another?

Then there was the first option: talk to Tobirama for one minute.

It was true that he hadn't chatted with his little brother in a long time.

Their last conversation had been when Tobirama summoned him during an experiment with Impure World Reincarnation.

Hashirama had been furious that time, believing the ninjutsu Tobirama was researching violated human ethics, and had forced him to put it into the Scroll of Seals again.

Tobirama: So it's not okay when I come looking for you, but it's fine when Naruto does it?

Hashirama: What a joke. Naruto is my prized pupil, and the screen even said Naruto was the Child of Prophecy and asked me to save him. How could I possibly refuse!

Still, seeing this option now really did make Hashirama miss his little brother a bit.

And so, Hashirama tapped the third option.

Tobirama: ∑(っ°Д°;)っ

Oopsie, my finger slipped.

(.^_・)ノ

Recreation. You had to understand-what counted as recreation in Hashirama's era?

Gambling.

What a joke. In that war-torn era, how could there have been any activities for people to enjoy?

Even after Hashirama and Madara founded Konoha, gambling was the only form of recreation that developed.

Oh, you were asking about dirty books?

Those hadn't been developed yet.

After all, neither the First nor the Second was a lecher.

Hadn't you seen Hashirama leave home at night for secret meetings with Madara Uchiha, leaving Mito alone with an empty bed?

Hadn't you seen how Tobirama only ever had feelings for the Uchiha? How he remained unmarried his whole life for the Uchiha-to research ninjutsu that countered them?

Right, the Hokage were all people of upright character.

Wasn't that right, Sarutobi?

Sarutobi silently put his crystal ball back in the drawer, tidied up his appearance, and answered with righteous conviction.

"Yes, exactly!"

Danzo bared his teeth, staring in great displeasure at this two-faced Hokage.

The instant Hashirama selected that option, fifty-four playing cards flew into his brain with its enormous capacity.

("Hold on a second! My big brother's brain has an enormous capacity? Then just what is he storing in there!"

Tobirama jumped out.

Hehehe. Hashirama secretly put a lock on his wonderful memories.)

"Playing cards? Fight the Landlord? Run Fast?"

Hashirama rubbed his chin, his eyes lighting up.

As a veteran gambler, his instincts told him these playing cards had a very profitable future!

But how would he make them?

Those fifty-four stiff yet flexible playing cards?

Huh? Why not ask the amazing Wood Release?

As everyone knew, the inner bark of a large tree was extremely supple.

That happened to match the properties of playing cards.

In that case, why not use Wood Release to whip up some wooden playing cards?

Just thinking about it was exciting!

"All right! Let's get to work!"

Hashirama clapped his hands, and a tree of just the right size burst through the soil of the Sealing Space and came into view.

Hmm, he had his raw materials, but how could he process them without a knife?

That was a problem.

Hashirama rubbed his chin and thought for a while.

Aha ☝!

The sleeping Kurama suddenly sensed malice.

That malice ran deep-right into his claws.

"Hashirama! What are you doing! Stop!"

Little Kurama's eyes snapped open, and the next moment, he discovered that Hashirama had picked him up.

That man was actually swinging his sharp claws around to shave down his tree???

Had Hashirama gone mad, or had the world gone mad?

Trees like this had given him PTSD long ago. Damn it, keep your hands off me!

Kurama struggled to escape Hashirama's grip, but unfortunately, it was completely useless.

Such a tiny lump of chakra couldn't resist Hashirama's strength.

"Be good, Kurama. Don't move, okay? I'm just borrowing your claws for a bit."

Hashirama smiled gently, giving off the air of someone sweet on the outside but dark underneath.

"No! Don't you have fingernails of your own? Stop! Stop right now!"

"Nooo, don't!"

Five hours later.

Kurama, whose eyes were vacant as though he had lost all his ambitions as a fox, stood in stark contrast to Hashirama, whose face was full of excitement as he kept stroking the cards.

What a beast! No, worse than a beast!

As everyone knew, Hashirama's hands might not have been very steady, and with Kurama struggling too, it had resulted in five whole hours of torment.

After six whole trees had made their contributions, a full fifty-four playing cards had been produced.

Simply perfect!

Hashirama stared unblinkingly at the fifty-four cards without any designs drawn on them.

"Hey, Kurama."

Hashirama called out to Kurama.

"Keep~ your hands~ off me~"

Kurama didn't want to pay this lunatic any attention at all. Damn it, he'd been sleeping perfectly well, and then this man had gone crazy for no reason, picked him up, and used his claws to shave wood.

Fine, shave away. He'd even stopped struggling, yet the guy had still botched nearly a hundred cards.

Damn it!

"Tomorrow evening, when Naruto gets back from school, how about we draw on these cards together?"

Hashirama's voice reached Kurama's ears as he lay there.

Little Kurama's ears twitched, and light gradually returned to his eyes.

"Does that mean I can draw whatever I want?"

Kurama asked with something else in mind.

Hashirama didn't give it much thought and simply nodded.

"Of course. How about the three of us split them evenly?"

Hashirama suggested.

"That's fine, but... how are we supposed to split fifty-four evenly!"

Kurama had learned some things over his long years, too. Back then, the Sage of Six Paths had also taught them some human knowledge.

Shukaku, for instance, had even learned Sealing Jutsu to challenge Kurama's position.

Unfortunately, Kurama had overwhelmed him with firepower.

"It's fine. We'll draw the last one together."

After working for so long, Hashirama didn't think it through and simply said that.

"That works too."