On the screen, behind Barbara as she ran back to the underground vault where the Holy Lyre der Himmel was kept, Traveler Lumine, Paimon, and Acting Grand Master Jean exchanged puzzled looks. They had no idea why the Holy Lyre der Himmel, which Venti had said he could do nothing about earlier, had suddenly been repaired.
If you could do that, why didn't you fix it sooner? Would we have needed to trek all the way to Stormterror's Lair, solving puzzles and fighting aerial battles?
Perhaps sensing his friends' confusion behind him, Venti turned around with a flourish and said without a trace of shame,
"Well then, let's make a quick getaway!"
"After all, the illusion I used to 'repair' the Holy Lyre der Himmel... ah, no, the spell-"
Venti pretended to lean in to share a secret, but continued in a voice everyone could hear.
"Isn't a hundred percent reliable."
[La Signora: Ha, what a ridiculous sight. A believer who professes absolute faith in her god neglects what truly matters in his very presence, clinging desperately to a lifeless object while ignoring the god before her.]
[La Signora: And the ridiculous god uses his divine power to deceive his faithful believer, all for his own convenience. Haha, what a splendid partnership.]
[Barbara: Nonsense! This was clearly our loving Lord Barbatos personally repairing the Holy Lyre der Himmel so his believers wouldn't cry. And that so-called illusion was obviously just Lord Barbatos's sense of humor. Lord Barbatos fixed the Holy Lyre der Himmel!]
[La Signora: ...]
Good grief. Barbara's powerful faith had rendered even La Signora speechless.
[Venti: ...]
How am I supposed to face that?
Venti felt that if this battered lyre accidentally broke again later, he ought to put in a little effort and repair it completely. Even if he had to sleep at Windrise for several months afterward, that was still better than the nagging ache in what little conscience he had.
As for the one on the screen, well, others might not understand, but Venti could see it clearly.
Although his on-screen self hadn't really used some so-called illusion to put a skin over the damaged Holy Lyre der Himmel, he had clearly only restored its exterior. None of the power or authority the Holy Lyre der Himmel truly contained remained. It really was just a souvenir now.
Faced with Barbara, who kept finding excuses to defend her god even knowing she had been fooled, he felt a little guilty now.
That's why I don't want to reveal my true identity or wear a crown.
Venti drained the Dandelion Wine in his hand in one gulp and let out a long sigh.
"Another glass!"
On the screen, however, Acting Grand Master Jean, Paimon, and Traveler Lumine had clearly all believed Venti.
"What?!"
Watching them rear back in surprise, more than one person in the real world slapped a hand over their face.
[Kaeya: Hmm, now I'm very curious how Lord Venti got along with the Acting Grand Master and the others before this. After what just happened, they actually believed so readily that Lord Venti had used an "illusion."]
For heaven's sake, had they not seen the tremendous Anemo energy gathering from the Cathedral of Favonius, the heart of faith in the Anemo Archon, when he restored the Holy Lyre der Himmel?
Could a mere illusion explain power on that scale?
[Diluc: Take a look at what he's doing right now, and you can probably guess.]
[Kaeya: Uh, all right. Lord Venti certainly can hold his liquor.]
[Barbara: Hmm (noticing a key detail)? Captain Kaeya (sweetly), may I ask where you are right now?]
[Kaeya: ...]
What was he supposed to do? Kaeya didn't want Mondstadt's eight million Barbara Fan Club members coming after him.
But he had a feeling that if he sold out the Anemo Archon just like that, he might slip at any moment while walking and tumble into Cider Lake.
On the screen, Venti certainly wasn't going to care how much trouble he had caused Kaeya. Having finished speaking, he led the way out of the cathedral, infuriating Paimon so much that she shouted at the top of her lungs, "Tone-deaf bard!"
[La Signora: What an apt name. I'm starting to like you. Would you like to work for the Fatui?]
[Lumine: Oh, a path I never imagined!]
[Paimon: You're not really going to join the Fatui, are you?]
[Lumine: Of course not. Hmm, not for now.]
The screen went black, and everyone knew a scene transition was coming.
When the picture returned, Venti was running ahead, seemingly oblivious. A mass of darkness appeared behind him, and two Fatui Debt Collectors leaped out to ambush the youth who was now essentially confirmed to be the Anemo Archon.
The sight stunned everyone across the continent.
Wasn't this right outside the Cathedral of Favonius?
[Bennett: Huh? I remember that when I went to the church for treatment, it was quiet and peaceful outside, but there were still nuns and guards there.]
Bennett's words made the Knights of Favonius officers in the tavern blush, while Diluc snorted disdainfully.
They had guessed what had gone wrong. This was clearly the Fatui's doing.
Taking advantage of everyone relaxing after resolving the Stormterror incident, they had caused some disturbance to lure away the Knights of Favonius guarding the entrance and the nuns outside...
"That still doesn't add up. No matter what, surely not all the guards outside the Cathedral of Favonius could have been lured away?! According to regulations, at least one knight must remain at the cathedral entrance and cannot abandon their post under any circumstances..."
"Do you think the sorry lot left in the city would actually remember the Knights' handbook in a real emergency?"
Faced with Diluc's merciless mockery, Jean covered her face in anguish. Although she had long known her colleagues and subordinates were somewhat unreliable, she hadn't expected them to be this unreliable.
Under the Knights of Favonius's work regulations and emergency response procedures, something as absurd as their own Anemo Archon being attacked by the Fatui outside the Cathedral of Favonius should never have happened.
Who was leading the team guarding the Cathedral of Favonius again?
"After the Grand Master set out on his expedition, that lad Otto should have been responsible for guarding the cathedral entrance."
At Kaeya's words, Jean remembered too. It was indeed Otto, leading a squad of Knights of Favonius in charge of the cathedral's security and guard duties.
That settled it. She would give Otto some proper training later. He clearly wasn't proficient at his job yet.
Jean helplessly pressed a hand to her forehead.
While the Knights of Favonius's senior officers were nursing headaches over their knights' professional failings, most ordinary viewers from other nations weren't thinking that much about it. They were simply focused on the Fatui attacking the Anemo Archon.
Although, because of Celestia's existence and the special institution of the Seven, Teyvat's nations were theoretically allies pledged to mutual offense and defense.
But your damn armed forces were openly attacking another nation's god in the heart of that nation. Surely that counted as a declaration of war in the most insulting way possible.
Yet no one was remotely worried about Venti, who looked as though he was about to be ambushed on the screen. After all, this was a god. Their emotions were mostly directed at the Fatui.
And most of that was mockery.
You Fatui sure were brave. Two unknown small fry actually dared to brazenly ambush a nation's god.
What, did you really think the horrors of the Archon War thousands of years ago were made up?
Those gods had fought until mountains and rivers shifted and waters flowed backward. Even the continent's terrain had changed, and more than one race had gone extinct. Faced with a victor of that brutal Archon War, you were sending two debt collectors with a dozen or so years of training to ambush him from behind...
If you could actually succeed, how were those losers who died in the Archon War supposed to feel?!
Just as everyone was waiting to laugh at the Fatui.
They saw that Venti didn't strike back against the debt collectors' ambush. He even seemed a little dazed. Instead, the Traveler took the initiative and sent both Debt Collectors flying.
What Venti and the Traveler didn't know was that behind them, a jailer's foot in a high heel appeared, followed by a snap of the fingers and an endless ice storm.
Venti used Anemo energy to block part of the storm, but when he looked down, both his legs were already frozen in place.
The sight made almost every viewer across the continent drop their jaw.
This... this was the damn Anemo Archon who commanded Anemo energy?
He had been frozen by an ice storm?
How was that any different from the Hydro Archon drowning in Cider Lake?
[Furina: Hey, Barbatos, what are you doing?!]
Furina was loud and blustering, but inwardly she was terrified.
I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead.
How were the Fatui so powerful?
Someone could just pop up at random and beat a god into submission?
Oh no, hadn't she angered the Cryo Archon, Barnabas, yesterday?
Hadn't she said something afterward, too?
Change the order... aaaah, could she have meant changing the order of attacks on the other six nations' gods?
In the video, they attacked Mondstadt's Anemo Archon first. Now, were they going to attack her, the counterfeit Hydro Archon, first instead?
Wouldn't she be exposed with a single poke? She couldn't even compare to that salted fish on the screen, who could at least struggle a little!
No, she didn't want to die yet!
At the very least, she couldn't die before fulfilling her duty!
On the screen, Lumine, who was blocking the storm, slipped up and was pinned to the ground by the two Debt Collectors. Venti turned to glance at her, but immediately turned back to face the enemy.
After a sequence of camera movements whose intentions were unmistakable, giving quite a few of Teyvat's perverts something to critically appreciate, the foot's owner fully appeared.
"Oh my, we finally found the hamster from home."
[La Signora] [Eleven Fatui Harbingers] [Eighth Seat]
The screen also supplied the newcomer's identity at just the right moment.
[Lumine: So big-ah, no, so strong!]
[Lumine: So this is La Signora? I feel like I could seriously consider that earlier suggestion!]
[Paimon: Snap out of it!]
[Paimon: Huh? Speaking of which, where did I go?]
[Jean: La Signora, Mondstadt needs an explanation. A Fatui Harbinger publicly attacked our Lord Anemo Archon outside our cathedral in Mondstadt. Are you trying to provoke a war between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya?]
[Lisa: Speaking of which, with such a commotion, why hasn't anyone else come to investigate?]
[Jean: ...I'm very curious too. Based on the earlier video, shouldn't I be inside the church right now?]
[Eula: Isn't the issue right now not who neglected their duties, but the Fatui publicly attacking the Anemo Archon outside our Cathedral of Favonius?!]
[Jean: Yes, exactly. The Fatui must give us an explanation today!]
Although the current Knights of Favonius looked utterly pathetic, with only a handful of mainstays like Jean, Kaeya, Lisa, and Eula, they were actually quite powerful. It was just that their main forces were with the Grand Master, who had launched an expedition.
And La Signora's brazen attack on the Anemo Archon, right outside the cathedral no less, enraged not only Jean, but also the Grand Master far away and the ordinary people of Mondstadt.
They might have been somewhat free-spirited in their daily lives, but that didn't mean their reverence for their god was false.
For their god, Mondstadt could find a swastika flag to play with at any time.
They could see whether Snezhnaya was a rotten wooden shack, and what would happen if they gave it a kick.
[La Signora: Hmph, I certainly won't accept your slander, Acting Grand Master. In fact, I haven't done anything at all. Surely you don't trust this suspicious screen more than Snezhnaya, Mondstadt's traditional ally?]
Seeing La Signora's reply, Jean gritted her teeth.
That was the crux of the problem. This screen that had suddenly appeared was itself extremely suspicious. By ordinary reasoning, compared with a screen of dubious existence, Snezhnaya's envoys naturally carried more credibility, given its traditional friendship with Mondstadt and their past cooperation, close enough to share a pair of trousers.
But that wasn't the damn issue. Although everyone still paid lip service to staying wary of the screen, guarding against the strange screen's damage to Teyvat's Seven Nations, and not readily trusting the benefits it offered, preferably sending all those suspicious rewards to their house for inspection...
The nations' leaders weren't fools either. While talking about the Seven Nations maintaining a united stance, they had long since secretly taken out their little notebooks and recorded every piece of information revealed on the screen, even the so-called fan-made videos. They had even arranged special quick-answer training for those qualified to speak in the discussion area. A war without gunpowder had already begun among the Seven Nations.
Besides, relations between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya had long since ceased to be as harmonious and friendly as before. Ever since their children had traveled to Snezhnaya and most had never been heard from again, relations between the two nations had taken a sharp turn for the worse.
Recently, the Snezhnayan delegation's aggressive stance in Mondstadt had cast an even greater shadow over relations between the two nations.
Acting Grand Master Jean and the others had originally thought the Fatui's increasingly arrogant nature was making them more and more brazen in their dealings with Mondstadt. Now it seemed that their objective had been their god from the very beginning.
[Jean: I'll be keeping a close eye on you.]
After all, this was still only footage played by the screen, not something that had actually happened in reality.
And Jean hadn't yet seen the even more explosive part that followed. She still thought Lord Barbatos would display his divine might and turn defeat into victory.
Besides, Jean hadn't forgotten that this video's title was the Anemo Archon "pulling your leg."
Lord Barbatos should have had everything comfortably under control to have the leeway to fool people, right?