Over the next few days, the atmosphere in Orchid Courtyard held a warm sweetness unlike anything before.
Chu Moqi was in an extraordinarily good mood. The gloom and hostility that had always shrouded his brow seemed to have been quietly dispelled by something unseen. Though he still said little, the softness that occasionally escaped through his eyes and brows made both Yan Qin and Yan Huai secretly breathe sighs of relief.
The most obvious change was that his gaze always followed Cui Wan without his realizing it.
When Cui Wan hugged her newly made bed warmer and smiled until her eyes curved, he would watch quietly from beneath the covered walkway. When she embroidered beside the window, he would deliberately move his wheelchair somewhere he could see her while reading. Even at mealtimes, for the first time ever, he stopped eating alone and had the dishes laid out in the hall so he could eat with Cui Wan.
That day, at lunchtime, several simple home-style dishes sat steaming on the table in the hall.
Cui Wan sat obediently opposite Chu Moqi, her head lowered as she earnestly nibbled a sweet-and-sour spare rib, one small bite at a time. Her cheeks bulged slightly with food, moving as she chewed. Her eyes were especially bright with concentration, and her long lashes cast small shadows beneath them.
Chu Moqi held his chopsticks but barely used them, his gaze firmly glued to Cui Wan's face.
The weather had turned cold lately, and the collar and cuffs of Cui Wan's clothes were trimmed with snowy-white fluff. Soft and furry, it made her already dainty face look even rosier.
Chu Moqi's gaze drifted slowly from her puffed cheeks to the stretch of fair skin at the back of her neck exposed by her lowered head, then swept over her hand holding the chopsticks.
Wanwan... seemed to have... grown even prettier lately.
The thought suddenly popped into his mind.
When she first married him, she had been such a tiny, skinny thing, her face a little pale, looking pitiful enough to tug at anyone's heart. She truly must not have had a good life with the Cui family. But now... her face was a little rounder, her complexion rosy, and her eyes much livelier.
As he watched, an inexplicable urge to tease her suddenly rose in Chu Moqi's heart.
He cleared his throat, set down his chopsticks, and said solemnly, "Cui Wan."
"Hmm?" Cui Wan looked up at his voice, half a rib still in her mouth. She blinked, looking at him in slight bewilderment.
Seeing how innocent and obedient she looked only made Chu Moqi itch to tease her more. He deliberately kept a stern face, looked her up and down, then said in a casual tone:
"Have you... put on weight lately?"
Cui Wan stopped chewing instantly. Her eyes widened as she stared blankly at Chu Moqi, seemingly unable to grasp what he was saying. After a moment, she seemed to understand. She instinctively put down her chopsticks, glanced down at her chest, then reached up to feel her cheek, her voice uncertain and hesitant:
"H-have I? I don't think so..."
Chu Moqi found her dazed expression amusing, and the corners of his mouth nearly escaped his control and curled upward. Holding them firmly in check, he continued his analysis. "How haven't you? Look for yourself. Isn't your face rounder than before? And your waist..." He gestured loosely around her waist. "That's gotten quite a bit thicker too."
Following his gaze, Cui Wan looked down at her flat little belly and even pressed it gently. There really... seemed... to be no little paunch there? But A-Qi had said so...
An inexplicable sense of hurt and embarrassment welled up in her heart. What girl didn't care about her figure? Especially when those words had come from... from A-Qi.
She pressed her lips together. Some of the blush faded from her little face, and the brightness and delight in her eyes dimmed too. Looking at her bowl, still more than half full, she suddenly lost her appetite.
"A-Qi..." she said softly, her voice somewhat muffled. "I... I'm full. I'll go now..."
With that, she stood up. Without waiting for Chu Moqi's reply, she hurried out of the dining hall in small steps with her head lowered, even closing the door softly behind her.
Chu Moqi stared at her abruptly departing figure, stunned for a moment before calling, "Hey! You've only eaten a little... Cui Wan!"
But Cui Wan had already vanished.
Standing nearby to attend them, Yan Huai nearly covered his forehead and sighed. He leaned close to Chu Moqi and lowered his voice, exasperated at his failure to understand. "Young master! My dear young master! What on earth are you doing? How could... how could you tell a woman outright that she's fat? Do you call Madam plump? She's just right! She was far too skinny before! You... oh! Madam is clearly angry!"
Only then did Chu Moqi belatedly realize that Cui Wan seemed... genuinely unhappy? He frowned, but inwardly dismissed it, thinking Yan Huai was making a mountain out of a molehill.
"Wanwan wouldn't get angry," Chu Moqi said with certainty, picking up his chopsticks again and taking some food. "She's just... just embarrassed. She'll be fine in a little while."
Thinking this, he even felt that Cui Wan's aggrieved expression earlier, when she had not dared argue back, had been rather cute.
He had said much worse things before, and hadn't she soon forgotten them? This time, he had only teased her in passing.
This time, however, things seemed a little different.
Over the next two days, not only did Cui Wan fail to "be fine in a little while," she became even less "fine."
She no longer ate with Chu Moqi. At mealtimes, she either said she had no appetite and asked Qiaoju to bring the food into the main room so she could eat a little by herself, or finished early, putting down her bowl and chopsticks before Chu Moqi arrived.
She no longer took the initiative to talk to Chu Moqi either. Whenever they happened to meet in the courtyard, she always kept her head down, hurriedly curtsied, and walked briskly away.
Most of the time, she stayed in her room or went to Plum Courtyard to talk to Tang Xiang. She simply refused to linger in Chu Moqi's presence.
At first, Chu Moqi paid little attention, thinking the girl was throwing a small tantrum and would be fine if left alone for a while. But after two days, Cui Wan showed no sign of "cooling down." Instead, she was avoiding him more and more obviously, and even the atmosphere throughout Orchid Courtyard grew somewhat oppressive again.
Now, at last, Chu Moqi felt something was wrong.
Was Wanwan... really angry?
Hadn't she said he was "the best"? How could she stay angry so long over a single joke, and even avoid him?
That evening, Yan Huai massaged his legs before bed as usual. Leaning against the headboard with his brows tightly knitted, Chu Moqi finally could not help asking, somewhat confused and irritated:
"Yan Huai, tell me... why is Wanwan still unhappy? It's been two days." He paused, and another possibility occurred to him. His voice lowered further. "Could she... have discovered that I arranged for Changfeng? That shouldn't be possible..."
Yan Huai's hands kept moving, but inwardly he rolled his eyes hard. He looked up with an expression that said, "You've finally remembered," his tone rather resentful:
"Young master! Do you even need to ask?! Of course Madam is angry because you said she'd gotten fat! What woman could be happy hearing that? You deserve Madam's cold shoulder!"
Chu Moqi choked at his words, then raised a hand and flicked Yan Huai's forehead, neither lightly nor hard. "Watch your mouth!"
Covering his forehead, Yan Huai muttered, "But it's true..."
Chu Moqi withdrew his hand and fell silent, considering it carefully. Was that really why? But hadn't he only... teased her in passing? Why did she care so much? He had said worse things before, and she had never avoided him like this.
As though seeing his confusion, Yan Huai could not help arguing, "Young master, you think it was just a passing remark, but could it sound the same to Madam? What if... what if one day Madam casually said you were a crip... uh... uh, that...? Would you feel good hearing it? Would you still think she meant nothing by it?"
Halfway through, Yan Huai suddenly realized he had nearly said something he should not have and hurriedly glossed over it, but his meaning was already perfectly clear.
At that word, though it had been glossed over, Chu Moqi's expression stiffened almost imperceptibly.
If... Wanwan really used that kind of word for him...
Even as a mere hypothetical, even vaguely passing through Yan Huai's lips, it was enough to make his breath catch and send intense humiliation and pain surging through his heart.
If... Wanwan really used that kind of word for him...
Even if it were only a passing remark, he would probably bristle all over at once, push her away with the coldest attitude, and even... say something more hurtful.
Chu Moqi remained silent for a long time, so long that Yan Huai began regretting his loose tongue and watched him uneasily.
At last, Chu Moqi closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he had forcibly suppressed the intense emotions churning in their depths, leaving only profound weariness and... a trace of bewilderment.
Putting himself in her shoes...
Chu Moqi's brows drew even tighter. He seemed... to understand a little why Cui Wan was angry.
"Then... what should I do?" he asked awkwardly, his voice dry. He had never encountered such a situation and had no idea how to handle it.
Seeing that he seemed to be yielding, Yan Huai's eyes lit up, and he hurried to strike while the iron was hot. "What else can you do? Apologize! Explain properly to Madam that you didn't mean it that way... Anyway, just go coax her..."
Apologize? Coax her?
Chu Moqi pressed his lips into a straight line. He was supposed to apologize to Cui Wan? Say he had been wrong and should not have called her fat? How... how could he say that aloud?
Seeing his hesitation, Yan Huai's eyes shifted. Suddenly, imitating Cui Wan's tone and manner, he pinched his voice into a soft, delicate pitch:
"Oh my~ Our A-Qi, the very best... couldn't possibly be... afraid to apologize, could he?"
!!!
Chu Moqi's face flushed bright red in an instant, both embarrassed and annoyed. Using his hands, he lifted one limp, powerless leg and gave Yan Huai a feeble kick in the chest, his voice carrying the embarrassment of having his thoughts exposed:
"Get out!"
Chuckling, Yan Huai nimbly dodged, quickly gathered his things, and darted out, even thoughtfully closing the door behind him.
Chu Moqi was left alone in the room.
Lying in bed, he stared at the dim bed curtains overhead, his mind a tangled mess.
Hadn't he only... teased her a little... what was there to be angry about...
He tried to convince himself of this, but...
What if... Wanwan really was very upset? What if she truly thought he disliked her?
Thinking of Cui Wan's evasive eyes over the last two days, her unhappy expression, and her noticeably diminished appetite... the dismissive certainty in Chu Moqi's heart began to waver little by little.
If Wanwan really was angry and stopped paying attention to him...
The possibility filled him with an inexplicable panic, leaving him even more at a loss than facing thousands of soldiers and horses.
The next day, near noon.
Sitting in his wheelchair, Chu Moqi rolled himself to the door of the main room. He stopped there, looked at the tightly closed door, and took a deep breath as though bolstering his courage. Only then did he call stiffly inside:
"Cui Wan!"
The room was silent. No answer came.
Chu Moqi waited a while, his brow furrowing, then called again, "Cui Wan!"
Still, there was no response.
An inexplicable panic stirred in his heart. No longer caring about etiquette or rules, he reached out, pushed open the door himself, and wheeled inside.
As soon as he entered, he saw Cui Wan sitting before the dressing mirror with her back to the door. She was not grooming herself, only looking into the blurry bronze mirror, now pinching the flesh of her cheeks with both hands, now lowering her head to pinch the soft flesh at her waist. Her little brows were tightly knitted, and she muttered quietly:
"I'm clearly... clearly not fat..."
"There... doesn't seem to be much more flesh here either..."
Did A-Qi think she wasn't pretty anymore...
Completely immersed in her own world, she agonized over the question of being "fat or thin," never hearing Chu Moqi's calls outside or the sound of him pushing open the door and entering.
Looking at her conflicted, slightly silly appearance, Chu Moqi felt his nervousness and awkwardness instantly give way to exasperated amusement.
Only when she heard the faint rumble of the approaching wheelchair did Cui Wan abruptly snap out of it. Turning around and seeing Chu Moqi right behind her, she jumped, then hurriedly rose from the stool, somewhat at a loss, and called timidly, "A-Qi..."
Seeing that Cui Wan was willing to acknowledge him, the little irritation in Chu Moqi's heart faded too. He looked away, not daring to meet her eyes, his tone still stiff and commanding:
"Eat with me."
Cui Wan lowered her head, her fingers unconsciously clutching her hem, her voice tiny. "I... I'm not hungry."
"What do you mean, not hungry!" At those words, Chu Moqi immediately frowned again, his tone growing harsher. "You've barely eaten anything these past few days! Are you trying to starve yourself to death?"
His harshness brought Cui Wan's hurt surging back. Her eyes reddened slightly as she looked up at him, her voice choked. "Didn't you... dislike me for being fat, A-Qi? If I keep eating... won't I get as fat as a pig..."
Seeing her on the verge of tears and hearing her earnest, aggrieved accusation, Chu Moqi nearly laughed in exasperation. Why was this silly girl so stuck on that idea?
Who said she would get as fat as a pig...
The corner of his mouth had only just curved upward beyond his control when Cui Wan caught it, feeling even more aggrieved. "You're still laughing..."
Chu Moqi hurriedly suppressed his smile, inwardly cursing himself. A trace of awkwardness crossed his face, and his gaze darted everywhere except toward Cui Wan's face. His voice lowered too, faltering slightly:
"Who... who's laughing at you! I... I didn't say you were fat..."
He paused, then, as though making an enormous resolution, stared at the floor and added very quickly, "I thought... the way you look now... is quite... quite... cute..."
That final word was so quiet it was almost inaudible, as though squeezed from his throat.
Afraid she would not understand, he hastily explained further, trying to recover some of his forcefulness. "You used to be as skinny as firewood. A gust of wind could have blown you over! You looked... looked so frail! Now... now you're just right! So... hurry up and eat more!"
Listening to his incoherent, jumbled explanation, Cui Wan first froze, then pouted. What did he mean by "better than before"? What did he mean by "frail"? That... didn't sound like anything nice either...
After saying it, Chu Moqi himself realized he seemed to have missed the point again, and might even have made things worse with his explanation. He immediately grew even more uncomfortable, not knowing where to put his hands.
After a brief stalemate, an idea suddenly struck him, and he spoke in an even more self-righteous, almost shamelessly demanding tone:
"My hands are sore. I can't push the wheelchair." He glanced at Cui Wan, then quickly averted his gaze, his voice dry. "Cui Wan, you... push me to the dining hall."
Cui Wan remained standing there, pouting and motionless, protesting with her silence.
Seeing that she would not move, Chu Moqi grew even more anxious. Why was this little crybaby so difficult to coax?
"Then... then what do you want?!" His voice rose unconsciously, carrying the embarrassed anger of someone backed into a corner. "I already said... you're not fat... all right!"
He spoke those last two words quickly and indistinctly, almost squeezing them out of his throat.
Then he lowered his voice, with an awkwardness that bordered on pleading without his even realizing it. "Eat... eat with me..."
Seeing how desperately anxious he clearly was, yet how he insisted on keeping a cold face while awkwardly coaxing her, Cui Wan felt more than half the hurt and sadness in her heart quietly disappear.
She tried to hold it in, but failed, suddenly bursting into a giggle.
That soft laugh sounded especially clear in the somewhat stagnant air.
Chu Moqi had been taut with nerves, waiting for her reaction. Caught off guard by her laughter, he froze completely. He raised his head and looked at Cui Wan in some bewilderment.
The gloom on Cui Wan's face vanished, and her eyes curved into crescents. Looking at Chu Moqi's stunned expression, she felt the last little knot in her heart disappear too.
"No, I won't!" she suddenly said brightly. Then, before Chu Moqi could react, she turned and trotted toward the dining hall, leaving her silvery, laughing voice drifting behind her:
"Come chase me, A-Qi!"
Sitting in his wheelchair, Chu Moqi stared for several breaths at the figure running lightly away like a little rabbit.
Then an immense, indescribable joy and relief swept over him like a warm tide, engulfing him in an instant.
Wanwan... wasn't angry with him anymore! She had smiled! She had even told him to chase her!
"Wan... Cui Wan!" He hurriedly set his wheelchair in motion, fumbling to adjust its direction as he chased after her, his voice carrying an urgency and laughter he did not notice himself. "You... wait for me!"
The wheelchair rolled swiftly along the covered walkway with a rumbling clatter, chasing the figure once again filled with life and laughter...