On the winter solstice, the sky stayed gloomy for most of the day. By afternoon, heavy snow began drifting down, and before long, it had shrouded the entire capital in a still, pure white.
A thick layer of snow soon blanketed the grounds of Orchid Courtyard.
Cui Wan wore a newly made peach-pink padded jacket edged with snowy white fox fur at the collar, with a thick velvet cloak in a matching shade over it, bundled up like a round, fluffy little rabbit. Rarely so excited, she stood in the courtyard with her little face tilted up, watching snowflakes land on her face and eyelashes, icy cold before melting in an instant.
"Qiaoju! Look! So much snow!" She held out her hand to catch a few flakes, watching them melt into crystal-clear droplets in her palm, her eyes astonishingly bright.
Qiaoju rarely saw her mistress so happy either and agreed with a smile, "Yes, madam! This is the first snowfall this heavy all year!"
Overcome with playfulness, Cui Wan crouched down and packed a tiny snowball. While Qiaoju was not looking, she threw it with a smack, hitting her squarely on the shoulder.
"Oh! Madam!" Qiaoju cried, then crouched down laughing and quickly packed a snowball to return fire.
Mistress and maid chased each other around the courtyard, little snowballs flying back and forth amid Cui Wan's clear, silvery laughter and Qiaoju's startled cries and merriment, bringing a rare touch of warmth and life to the quiet, freezing winter afternoon.
The study window stood open a fair crack, letting in some biting wind and powdery snow. Chu Moqi seemed entirely unaware of it. He merely leaned quietly beside the window, his gaze following the pink figure skipping merrily about the courtyard without wavering.
He watched her plant her hands on her hips and laugh triumphantly after hitting Qiaoju with a snowball, watched her duck with a startled cry when Qiaoju retaliated, watched her crouch on the ground, clumsily but earnestly trying to build a snowman, the tip of her nose red from the cold...
It was only snow. How could it make her this happy?
How... childish.
That was what Chu Moqi thought, yet at some point, the corners of his mouth had lifted and never come down again. That curve softened his usually cold, hard features, giving his profile an almost tender look of concentration in the reflected light of the snow outside.
Wanwan... was so adorable.
It was rare to see her so carefree. Usually, she was always timid and cautious. Only at times like this did she seem like a truly carefree fifteen-year-old girl.
Just as he became absorbed in watching her, a head suddenly popped up from beneath the window, blocking half his view.
It was Yan Huai.
Hunching his neck and rubbing his hands together, Yan Huai wore an ingratiating smile, but his tone held unmistakable worry. "Young master... it's snowing so hard outside, and it's freezing! With the window open this wide, the cold is pouring right in... Your legs... this weather is when the cold is most likely to make them act up. Shall... shall we close the window? The charcoal fire is burning nicely inside. It's warm!"
His pleasant mood interrupted, Chu Moqi frowned in displeasure. Without even looking at Yan Huai, he simply reached out, planted a hand precisely on his forehead, and forcefully, unceremoniously pushed that obstructive head away from the window.
"Cold?" There was little warmth in Chu Moqi's voice. His gaze returned to the figure playing in the snow, his tone indifferent. "If you feel cold, you can have Changfeng loosen up your muscles and bones."
He said "loosen up your muscles and bones" without particular emphasis, yet the words instantly reminded Yan Huai of certain unpleasant memories, along with Changfeng's icy eyes that seemed capable of freezing a person to death.
Yan Huai shuddered all over and shrank back, smiling awkwardly. "Not cold, not cold! I'm not cold at all! I'll go add more charcoal to your fire right away, young master!" With that, he greased his soles and vanished in a flash.
Chu Moqi could not be bothered with him and turned his attention back outside.
Just then, Cui Wan, who was bending over to pack a snowball, seemed to sense something and suddenly looked up toward the study.
Their eyes met.
Chu Moqi's heart gave a sharp leap. As though caught doing something guilty, he whipped his head around almost reflexively, quickly straightened up, and snatched a book from the desk. He opened it at random and assumed an air of "I'm reading seriously and wasn't looking at you at all," fixing his gaze firmly on the pages while the tips of his ears flushed faintly despite himself.
At the sight of his flustered attempt to cover up the obvious, Cui Wan first froze, then her eyes curved. Dropping her snowball, she lifted her skirts and trotted over to the study window.
Rising slightly onto her toes, she gripped the windowsill and tilted up her flushed little face, bright with an excited smile, calling eagerly through the window to the man so engrossed in his book:
"A-Qi! The snow outside is so deep! It's so much fun! Do you want to... come out and see?"
Her eyes sparkled with anticipation, as though she had discovered some extraordinary treasure and could not wait to share it with him.
Go outside?
Chu Moqi kept his eyes on the pages, but his fingertips curled almost imperceptibly.
The snow outside was so heavy, so cold. His legs... in weather like this, the chill seeped into his bones and was most likely to trigger pain and spasms from his old injuries. He could almost foresee it: if he went out for a while, he might suffer for it tonight.
Besides... what would he do outside? Play in the snow with her? Pack snowballs, build snowmen, and bounce around in the snow like an overgrown child, just as she did?
That was far too... childish. How could he, Chu Moqi, do such a thing?
Chu Moqi finally lifted his gaze from the pages to Cui Wan's expectant face, deliberately keeping his tone flat, even faintly disdainful:
"What would I go out for? To play in the snow like you?" He paused, then uttered a single word. "Childish."
The light in Cui Wan's eyes visibly dimmed at his words. Her smile stiffened, then slowly faded. She murmured, "Oh," and lowered her head to look at her snow-dusted shoes, her long lashes falling to hide the disappointment that flashed through her eyes.
But soon, she looked up again and tried to muster another smile, though it was not as radiant as before and carried a hint of forced cheer:
"Then... then I'll play by myself!"
With that, she stopped looking at him and turned to run off, back to the patch of snow that made her happy.
Watching her turn away, Chu Moqi's heart tightened for no reason, as though something important were about to slip through his fingers. Almost involuntarily, he blurted:
"Wanwan!"
His voice was not loud, but it carried clearly outside the window.
Cui Wan stopped and looked back in some surprise. A-Qi... had called her "Wanwan"?
Chu Moqi also realized his slip. A trace of awkwardness flashed across his face, and he hastily corrected himself, his voice returning to its usual coolness. "Cui Wan!"
Looking into the puzzled eyes she turned toward him, his Adam's apple bobbed. He added stiffly, as though giving an instruction, or trying to conceal something:
"Take care of yourself... don't catch a chill!"
Cui Wan looked at his awkward expression, then down at the cloak and padded jacket wrapped snugly around her. His words seemed to dispel a little of her disappointment. She nodded vigorously, drew her thick cloak closer, and answered brightly:
"I know! I'm very warm!"
With that, she turned again, this time truly like a little bird returning to the woods, and ran happily back to the middle of the courtyard to rejoin her snowball fight with Qiaoju.
Chu Moqi watched her retreating figure, only slowly withdrawing his gaze once that patch of pink had merged into the swirling snow again.
The laughter outside continued, yet the study suddenly seemed much emptier. The chill that had just been driven away seemed to seep back through the window crack in thin threads, leaving him feeling rather cold.
His thoughts drifted involuntarily into the distant past.
He could no longer remember exactly which year it had been. He only remembered that it had been a snowy day just like this, colder still. He and his elder brother had raced madly through the snow just like that, fighting with snowballs and building snowmen. His brother was several years older and stronger, and always threw his snowballs hard and accurately, yet he deliberately went easy on him every time. Whenever he was hit, he would pretend it hurt and cry "Ow," making him roar with laughter.
Back then... Father had still been alive, the imposing Marquis of Ningyang, a man who stood tall between heaven and earth. He would sternly scold them for playing too wildly, yet a smile hid in his eyes. Mother had still been healthy and loving, and would have someone boil piping-hot ginger tea to ward off the cold. He himself... could still run and jump, shoulder to shoulder with his brother, as though he had inexhaustible strength and courage.
A self-mocking curve touched Chu Moqi's lips, very faint and very cold, filled with boundless desolation and resignation.
What was the point of thinking about this?
It was all in the past.
Father and his brother had long since become cold earth on South Mountain. Overcome with grief, Mother lived in the Buddhist hall, no longer concerning herself with worldly affairs. And he... was forever trapped in this wheelchair. Even going outside to look at the snow meant considering this useless body.
There was no going back.
Just as he sank into the pain of the past and the coldness of the present, a burst of Cui Wan's clear, cloudless giggling suddenly came from outside. She and Qiaoju seemed to have rolled an especially large snowball and were pushing it together. Her laughter pierced the wind and snow like silver bells, striking straight against his eardrums and scattering the gloom in his heart.
Chu Moqi instinctively looked outside again.
That figure was struggling to push a snowball half a person's height, her little face red from the cold, yet she was smiling so broadly that her eyes disappeared.
As he watched, his gaze gradually softened. The frozen wasteland in his heart seemed to brighten and warm little by little beneath that laughter and that figure.
Never mind.
He shook his head lightly, sealing away those heavy, distant memories for the time being.
Now... having her here was good too.
Cui Wan was working with Qiaoju to push the snowball they had rolled to half a person's height into the center of the courtyard, planning to use it as the snowman's body. Her face was red with exertion, but her smile was especially happy. When she looked up, her gaze swept past the covered walkway and abruptly stopped.
That familiar figure sat in his wheelchair, and its wheels seemed to have... sunk into the thick snow at the bottom of the ramp.
Chu Moqi frowned slightly, both hands straining to turn the wheel rims and free his wheelchair from the soft yet exceptionally tenacious grip of the snow. But the snow was wet and slippery, and with the wheelchair's own weight, his efforts seemed rather futile. The chair merely rocked a little in place and sank even deeper, leaving him in quite an awkward state.
Almost without thinking, Cui Wan immediately ran toward him, forgetting even her treasured snowball.
"A-Qi!" She ran up and stopped, breathless, looking worriedly at his wheelchair trapped in the snow.
Hearing her voice, Chu Moqi abruptly stiffened. He looked up into eyes brimming with concern, and a mixture of mortification, resentment, and embarrassment surged through him.
He had just called her childish, only to be unable to resist coming outside himself, and now... now he was stuck here, unable to move. This was simply... too humiliating!
He instinctively wanted to turn away, unwilling to let her see him in such a predicament, but Cui Wan had already crouched beside his wheelchair. She tilted up her little face, her sparkling eyes holding not a trace of mockery or disdain, only pure delight and curiosity:
"A-Qi wanted to come out and see the snow too! Didn't you?"
Her tone was so natural and so joyful, as though his being here were perfectly right and the happiest thing imaginable.
Chu Moqi found her frank, fervent gaze rather difficult to withstand. His ears warmed slightly, and he turned aside, his voice somewhat stiff. "I just... came out for a look. You... go play. Don't mind me."
He tried to preserve that pitiful shred of his tottering dignity.
But Cui Wan would never listen to him. As though she had not heard the latter half of his words, she first examined the wheels stuck in the snow, then naturally reached out and tucked the thick velvet blanket over his legs higher, making sure it would not pick up any snow. After that, she went behind the wheelchair, gripped its handles with both hands, drew a deep breath, and began pushing hard.
Her sudden actions startled Chu Moqi, then his heart sank.
Sure enough, although Cui Wan exerted every ounce of strength, her little face red with the effort, the wheelchair trapped in the snow barely budged. She could not push it out at all. Her strength was simply too slight for a situation like this.
Watching her strain fruitlessly behind him and hearing her faint grunts of exertion, Chu Moqi was seized by deeper self-loathing and helpless frustration.
Even for something like this... he had to depend on someone else. He could not even get himself out of the snow. And he had to let her... see him being so useless.
Just as his thoughts churned and those familiar negative feelings threatened to drown him, the wheelchair jolted sharply. She had actually forced it out of the snowy rut. The wheels rolled over the snow with a soft crunch and came to a steady stop on a flatter patch in the middle of the courtyard.
Cui Wan panted with exhaustion, fine beads of sweat appearing on her forehead, yet her face held a sense of accomplishment. She ran back in front of Chu Moqi and looked at him as though asking for praise.
Looking at her flushed little face and astonishingly bright eyes, Chu Moqi momentarily forgot his self-loathing, leaving only shock. She... had really pushed him out?
"Actually, I... could have done it myself." He opened his mouth and spoke rather dryly, but his tone had lost its earlier force.
"It's just the same if I do it!" Cui Wan immediately countered, deliberately puffing out her little chest. She blinked and smiled impishly. "Didn't you say I'd gotten fatter, A-Qi? Of course that means... I'm stronger!"
There was a hint of little "revenge" in her words, yet she said them so playfully and adorably.
Chu Moqi choked on his reply. The warmth that had just faded from his face surged back, and, unusually at a loss for words, he could only turn his head slightly to hide his awkwardness.
Seeing him like this, Cui Wan smiled even more happily. Rather than pursue the subject, she pointed to the osmanthus tree in a corner of the courtyard, its leaves all fallen and its branches now covered in snow, her voice full of delight:
"A-Qi! Look at that osmanthus tree! Doesn't it look covered in white blossoms? Isn't it beautiful?"
Chu Moqi looked where she pointed. Crystal-white snow wrapped the bare branches in layer upon layer, truly resembling blossoms that had bloomed overnight, exceptionally pure, serene, and beautiful.
His gaze softened a little, and he gave a quiet "Mm."
Yet just as he relaxed and admired the snowy view-
Smack!
An icy little snowball struck the armrest of his wheelchair squarely and burst apart, scattering fine snow over his hand with a bone-piercing chill.
Chu Moqi snapped out of his reverie and looked up.
Cui Wan was covering her mouth, her eyes curved into crescents and her shoulders shaking. She was clearly stifling laughter, her face carrying a little triumph at her successful prank.
This little girl... was getting bolder and bolder! She actually dared to ambush him?
An idea stirred in Chu Moqi's mind. He deliberately darkened his expression, his gaze sharpening as he stared fixedly at her without a word.
Cui Wan had still been snickering, but his sudden "change of face" startled her, freezing the smile on her face. She timidly lowered her hand, her gaze beginning to dart away, and murmured, "A-Qi... I... I didn't mean to... I just..."
She thought he was truly angry.
"Come here." Chu Moqi's voice was not loud, but it carried an unquestionable command.
Cui Wan hesitated, then slowly shuffled over, one little step at a time, stopping beside his wheelchair with her head lowered like a child awaiting punishment for doing something wrong.
The moment she was close enough, Chu Moqi suddenly moved!
He moved extremely fast, his left hand swiftly gathering the scattered snow from his lap. Before Cui Wan could react, he flicked his wrist-
"Ah!" Cui Wan cried, feeling a chill at her neck as most of that loose handful of snow slid down her collar, making her shudder.
So cold!
She instinctively hunched her neck, then realized-A-Qi was not angry. He was fighting back!
Once she understood, Cui Wan was not frightened at all. Instead, her eyes shone even brighter. With a "Hmph" of playful annoyance and indignation, she quickly bent to pack another little snowball, picked her moment, and sent it flying toward Chu Moqi with a whoosh.
Already prepared, Chu Moqi leaned slightly aside, letting the snowball skim past his shoulder. He was just about to retaliate when Cui Wan suddenly lunged-not to throw another snowball, but straight into his arms!
She reached out and precisely caught Chu Moqi's snow-dusted hand before he could withdraw it, gripping it tightly. Then she tilted up her little face and announced triumphantly, "Now A-Qi can't fight back!"
Her body was warm from all the running and play, carrying a young girl's distinctive fragrance and vitality as she unexpectedly filled his embrace. Though her hand was small, its grip was tight, her warm palm enclosing his slightly cool fingers.
Chu Moqi's body instantly stiffened, his heartbeat abruptly falling out of rhythm. He had never expected her to subdue him this way. With his skills and reflexes, even with his impaired legs, breaking free of her completely untrained restraint would have been as easy as turning his hand.
But...
Chu Moqi lowered his head to look at the flushed face in his arms, at the unreserved closeness in her eyes, and that small urge to break free melted silently away like powdery snow in sunlight.
He let her hold his hand, even unconsciously curling his fingers a little to enclose that warm little hand more tightly in his palm.
He tilted his head slightly, his lips almost brushing the rim of her ear, and murmured beside it in a low, husky voice only the two of them could hear, carrying helplessness and a trace of indulgence:
"You... are bullying me again... hmm?"
His warm breath brushed her ear, carrying his distinctive coolness and a contradictory tenderness.
His sudden closeness and whisper sent a tingling through Cui Wan's ears and made her heart skip a beat, but then she broke into clear, delighted giggles.
She did not answer, only buried her face in the thick fabric over his chest and nuzzled against it. Her laughter became muffled, yet held an indescribable sweetness.