The Weird Author Wishes Everyone a Happy New Year's Eve!

When Neville received the phone, he could hardly believe it.

He was in the same year as Harry and Ron, so why had they received theirs last year while he only got his this year?

Neville was actually a little sensitive about it, but when he saw the apology on the note, he also felt a little flustered, because he didn't know what to do.

Then he eagerly opened it up and discovered that the place was almost unbelievably wonderful...

They seemed to know everything about him, and they seemed to really like him. They called Neville the Gryffindor Sword Saint, although he didn't yet understand what that meant.

But he was really quite happy.

[Group owner] Little Cutie Neville: I really love Neville so much, sob sob sob...

I Wholesale Underpants: He was so cute when he was little!

[Group owner] Little Cutie Neville: Damn it, why are there so few people in our Neville group? (heartbroken.jpg)

[Admin] Kerun: One day we'll let the world know how great our Gryffindor Sword Saint is!

Where's My Whetstone?: Exactly! I really love Neville. He's a true Gryffindor, and he even destroyed one of the Horcruxes!

[Group owner] Little Cutie Neville: Neville is really amazing!

[Group owner] Little Cutie Neville: (clenching fist through tears.jpg)

Am I... really amazing?

At night, Neville quietly watched them chat. To be honest, even he felt he lacked confidence, and his grandmother often said he wasn't confident enough... Plus, he often messed things up at Hogwarts.

But these people seemed to believe he could accomplish great things even more than his grandmother did.

Neville felt like crying.

But why exactly did they call him the Gryffindor Sword Saint...? Horcruxes? He destroyed one of the Horcruxes?

Was that the future? Would he become someone amazing in the future and make his grandmother proud?

Time flew, and Tuesday arrived in a flash. That afternoon, the Duelling Club, which had somehow been established for an unclear purpose, got underway.

But Lockhart's purpose was actually quite simple: he wanted to restore some of his fame. For some reason, when he'd first arrived at the school last year, not a single fan had asked him for an autograph.

Did that make sense?

As far as Lockhart was concerned, it made no sense at all! So he felt he had to do something to improve his reputation among the students, though he still got plenty of fan letters every day. (Lockhart smiles confidently.jpg)

So even without any danger, he had organized the Duelling Club, and had even spent the whole morning choosing his clothes for it.

If he wanted to improve his reputation, he had to start with his appearance, didn't he?

But why did all the students look as though they were waiting for a show? Shouldn't they be looking forward to seeing him display his skills?

Meanwhile, some of the students who already knew the outcome had gathered eagerly around the stage.

They even built a stage just for this. Nice. That was George's first thought when he saw the flamboyantly dressed Lockhart and the stage.

Fred, meanwhile, couldn't wait to raise his phone and get ready to film. Snape wouldn't make a fool of himself, but Lockhart would! He hadn't forgotten that this bastard made him and George go onstage and act in every Defence Against the Dark Arts class.

Snape stood to one side with his arms crossed, silently watching the incompetent wizard spout nonsense onstage.

Honestly, he could put the man on the floor in less than three minutes.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione also squeezed their way to the front of the stage. Ron couldn't understand why they were still holding this Duelling Club when they no longer faced any threats and nobody had been petrified.

And...

Why was Cedric holding up his phone across the way too?

He didn't seem like the kind of person who would film things.

Ron wasn't the only one who found it surprising. Cho and the twins, who were in the same year as Cedric, did too. Cho quickly realized that Cedric was probably showing it to his fans.

The twins thought it was very unusual that Cedric would actually record someone else's embarrassing moments like this.

The two of them had spent so much time lurking in other people's fan groups that they naturally knew Ced was the first of them all to have his identity exposed. But they mostly chatted in their own fan groups, so they hadn't yet noticed that Ced was livestreaming. The last time he'd streamed, they'd been playing a match on the Quidditch pitch.

But now they were busy recording, so once again they missed the fact that Cedric was livestreaming.

(That's so like you two.)

[Group owner] Ced Is Mine: So Lockhart looks pretty much the same as he does in the movie?

Cedric's Underpants: Whoa! Is that Harry standing across from you? I got to see Harry up close, yay!

Mrs. Diggory: Aah, that's Ron over there, right?

Hufflepuff's Big Chicken Leg: Ced really spoils his fans, I'm crying

Considerate Little Badger: I never thought I'd get to see Harry Potter live in my lifetime...

Cedric's Underpants: Woohoo! Professor Snape's onstage! Help, you can see the disdain written all over his face...

[Group owner] Ced Is Mine: Hahahaha, well, he's dealing with Lockhart.

As expected, Snape sent Lockhart flying. Lockhart stood up looking thoroughly embarrassed, but forced himself to say that he'd been demonstrating the result of casting a spell correctly. Snape's expression grew even more disdainful.

Fred recorded the glorious moment, while Ron took a picture of Lockhart's expression at that instant, planning to make it into a meme.

Honestly, Ron, have you gotten addicted to making memes lately...? Hermione couldn't help thinking as she watched Ron take the picture and immediately lower his head to start making a meme right there. Ever since she learned that Lockhart had stolen all his stories, she'd decided to stop being his fan.

Now that Lockhart had been sent flying, she didn't want to think anything of it.

The group was having a good laugh.

Then, the next second, everyone remembered that Harry and Draco's duel was coming up next! Harry was about to reveal that he could speak Parseltongue!

They all perked up and continued watching.

[Admin] Hufflepuff House Cub: Harry and Malfoy are about to duel!

Cedric's Underpants: Ohhh! How did the young master get sent flying again?

A Little Honey Badger: That "again" is inspired

Hufflepuff's Great Food Thief: Ahahahaha!

Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Huh? Is everyone watching the movie together?

[Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One joined the call]

Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: ?

Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Holy crap, what am I looking at?

[Group owner] Ced Is Mine: ?

Cedric's Underpants: Holy crap, I forgot there were people other than Ced fans in this group!

When Malfoy cast Serpensortia, a snake appeared on the stage, silencing everyone around it. Harry took an involuntary step back, and Lockhart strode forward with a confident expression.

Snape raised an eyebrow slightly and watched silently to see how he would perform.

Hermione grew anxious, afraid Harry would act on impulse and reveal that he could speak Parseltongue.

The group members on the call were anxious too. They'd gone to such lengths to avoid the plot; Harry mustn't end up feared and isolated by almost everyone because of Parseltongue again.

Meanwhile, the owner of Harry's fan group, who had always lurked silently in Ced's group and suddenly surfaced today, had his entire worldview shattered.

Wait?

What?

What's going on? Is this a skit?

But I really did just see them get blasted away by magic, didn't I? Is that snake a special effect? It looks way too real!

Wait, is that Harry Potter? The real Harry Potter?

Not only did Lockhart fail to make the snake disappear, he also provoked it, making it look even angrier.

Harry heard that the snake was going to attack the Hufflepuff student and panicked a little. Just as he opened his mouth, he remembered what the group and Hermione had said. He couldn't reveal that he was a Parselmouth.

While he was hesitating, Snape had already stepped forward and dealt with the snake. But the look he gave Harry afterward was a little strange.

Mrs. Diggory: ? Holy crap, Professor Snape doesn't know Harry's a Parselmouth, does he?

[Admin] I Am Cedric's Dog: Maybe. Is anyone here in Professor Snape's fan group? Snape definitely has a phone. Five Points from Gryffindor has to be him, right?

Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: ? Can someone explain what's going on to me first???

Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Did the dimensional wall really break?!!!! (screams in disbelief)

[Group owner] Ced Is Mine: ...Let's talk in private.

And so today's Duelling Club came to an end. Students from the various houses gradually dispersed to go about their own business.

Even during the part where they had paired up to practise against each other just now, Harry had been somewhat distracted.

As his practice opponent, Ron had naturally noticed. Unfortunately, he really didn't know how to comfort people...

"Harry, you did the right thing." Hermione could only pat Harry on the shoulder and say that.

The right thing...?

After returning to the dormitory, Harry kept thinking about that question. Then he noticed Neville sitting on the edge of his bed, looking at a phone too, with an expression like the one Harry had worn when he first encountered a phone.

Had Neville had a similar experience to his?

Harry slipped under his soft covers. Astronomy was scheduled for tomorrow night, so they could have a good rest tonight, or do their homework and so on.

Then he noticed that his fan group seemed unusually active all of a sudden.

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Holy crap... guys.

Harry Is Mine: ? What's wrong, group owner?

Hug Saint Potter's Thigh: ? What happened?

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: I, I saw Harry in Ced's group... and then they told me

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: They really exist... that's the real Hogwarts, not a skit, and Cedric was even the one livestreaming for them...

Mrs. Potter: ? You're not joking, are you, group owner? It's not April first.

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: I'm not joking... my worldview has been shattered, I...

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: @Wants to Make Friends, are you really Harry Potter?

Harry Is Mine: ?!

Little Cutie Harry's Benroutou: !

Harry's Underpants Fly Fly: Huh???

Mrs. Potter: !

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: I thought it was impossible too... but comparing his recent messages with what I just saw, I really can't help suspecting it.

Hug Saint Potter's Thigh: !!? It's really Harry?! Holy shit, how is that possible?!

Harry Is Mine: This thing can really cross space and time? My phone?! Holy shit, my phone's that awesome?

In front of the screen, Harry was a little unsure what to do as he watched the messages flooding in, but now that he seemed to have been found out, it was as though something inside him had been cleared away, and he felt a little less weighed down.

Wants to Make Friends: Yes, I'm Harry. Harry Potter.

Harry was smiling easily now, though he did silently apologize to Fred and George. But the fans had figured it out themselves; he hadn't told them on his own, right?

Little Cutie Harry's Benroutou: Hehe, I don't believe you, unless you send a selfie /shy

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Hehe, I don't believe you, unless you send a selfie /shy

Then the group suddenly began copying and pasting the same message in perfect unison, and Harry... seemed to actually take it seriously.

Wants to Make Friends: [photo.jpg]

Harry Is Mine: ? Oh, holy shit

Hug Saint Potter's Thigh: ? Who, who could still not believe it? I believe you!

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Holy shit, little cutie Harry, come here and give mommy a kiss! (screams wildly)

Mrs. Potter: Aaaah!

Harry's Underpants Fly Fly: Aaaah, I'm just going to-! (underpants fly fly.jpg)

Harry Come for a Kiss: Aah, he's alive! It's a living Harry!!! Baby Harry, come give me a kiss on the lips!!!

Harry Is Mine: ? Holy shit, rein it in. If you scare Harry away, who's going to marry me?

[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Wow, you've got it all worked out.

[Admin] Holy Crap: ??? Holy shit! What did I miss while I was eating? Nothing, right? Otherwise, why am I seeing a cosplayer who looks just like Harry?

Wants to Make Friends: ?

Harry slowly typed a question mark in front of the screen.

Hadn't Fred said they would rein themselves in?

Why... did it feel even more, uh, Harry couldn't find the word. Oh, right: uninhibited.

Looking at the increasingly pantsless comments, Harry silently turned off his phone, covered his eyes, and lay down to sleep.

Maybe things would be back to normal after he slept.

Neville, who was happily reading the messages beside him: ? Was Harry really going to sleep this early today?

Fred, secretly lurking: ?

I bet a lot of you guessed it~

The second person to have his identity exposed is our dear little Harry!

Fred: I never thought you'd betray us, Harry, looking so upright and honest (overacting) (being dramatic)

Harry: ? It wasn't me, I didn't

George: This is so heartbreaking (heartbroken) (wipes away tears)

Ron: ...Nice

A little mindless fun.

After everyone learned how the plot unfolded.

At the Triwizard Tournament.

Dumbledore learned that Barty Crouch Jr. had tampered with the final cup.

So he tampered with it again after Barty Crouch Jr.

In the end, Harry and Cedric returned holding the cup.

Voldemort, who waited until the end of time for Harry to show up so he could use him to come back to life: Where is he?

In the end, Voldemort failed to come back to life.

The whole story-the end

(Please don't treat this little skit as part of the main story.)

--

Time for some brainless theater-an interview.

Q: What do you think about the fact that your fans often go without pants?

Fred: It was pretty shocking at the time. I didn't expect them to be even more shameless than us.

George: So we unlocked a new line of business (?.

?

"Wholesale pants"

--

Edited at 9:30 p.m. on the 21st:

Tomorrow's two chapters will total five thousand Chinese characters and will be posted in the afternoon. You don't have to wait up tonight, dears! Happy Spring Festival!