Happy Spring Festival! Wishing Everyone a Weird and Adorable New Year!
Fred was a little confused. How had Harry been exposed too? And those fans seemed even more unhinged than he had imagined.
Shouldn't people be a little more reserved when they met their idols?
So Fred thought.
But if anyone else's identity was exposed before theirs, that would be no fun!!!
Wouldn't their own reveal be much less of a surprise then??
That simply wouldn't do!
He! Fred Weasley! Would never allow the Weasley Twins to do anything that failed to surprise people. It looked like he needed to come up with a grand plan!
Last time, Hermione had taken the initiative to add Underpants Brother, who had excitedly clicked accept.
He had actually added the real Hermione in this lifetime, and she was a top student too. His life was complete! The brother happily nailed his own coffin shut and was laid to rest. (Strike that last sentence.)
But after he nervously sent her a hello, the message vanished into the void without a reply. Mainly, he really hadn't expected Hermione to have notifications muted or to check her messages so infrequently.
By the time Hermione replied, the Duelling Club was about to start.
When the notification dinged, Cedric's Underpants sat bolt upright like a dying man startled awake, shook off the mushrooms that had sprouted on his head, and hurriedly looked at the screen.
Knowledge Is Power: I want to see what our lives were supposed to be like in your world.
Cedric's Underpants: ?
In another small group chat.
Cedric's Underpants: Holy shit, guys, emergency! Hermione came to me asking for the original books! Quick, quick, does anyone have the ebooks? I'll send them all to her!
Cedric's Underpants: Quick, quick, the spin-offs are fine too. I'll send those over as well!
Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: ? Damn
Harry Is Mine: Holy shit, I just cleared out my storage a couple of days ago!
Mrs. Diggory: ? How could you delete Harry Potter?
Harry Is Mine: I do have the physical books, after all...
[Group owner] Ced Is Mine: [Folder. Harry Potter original books one through seven.pdf]
[Group owner] Ced Is Mine: Quick! Here! Give them to our clever Hermione!
Cedric's Underpants: (OK.jpg)
Hug Saint Potter's Thigh: @Ced Is Mine, that wasn't very nice. You watched the livestream before and didn't even call us.
Hug Saint Potter's Thigh: (draws a knife.jpg)
A Little Badger Who Ships Draco and Harry: Ced streamed it himself for us. You can ask Harry to stream too, hehehe (fearless.jpg)
Mrs. Potter: ? Well then, let's fight.
Mrs. Potter: (rolls up sleeves.jpg)
Cedric's Underpants: [Folder. Harry Potter 2 (attachment: So you're the one called the Basilisk, huh).pdf]
Cedric's Underpants: ? Damn, how come this was the only one that sent so fast? The others are still buffering.
Knowledge Is Power: Thank you.
Cedric's Underpants: !!! (finger heart, you can do it.jpg)
After thanking him, Hermione hurriedly opened the file and began reading. It was the only one she had for now, but even from the beginning, she could tell that this book was about their story that year.
Even the part where Uncle Arthur and Lucius Malfoy fought was the same.
By the time the Duelling Club ended on Tuesday afternoon, Hermione had only reached the part where Harry first heard the strange voice.
Hermione was glad the diary had already been handed over to Dumbledore. Otherwise, someone really might have been petrified by now...
Meanwhile, in our dear Professor Snape's fan group.
Professor Snape's Blower: Peeks in. While no one's here, I'll hoist Professor Snape up and sprint a hundred meters with him.
Professor Snape, I Like You: (kicks down the door.jpg)
Professor Snape, I Like You: Put him down! He's mine!
[Admin] Professor Snape Is Mine: Draw your blades, love rivals!
I Help Snape Wash His Hair: Times have changed, my lord! Draw your wands!
[Group owner] always: I'm dying, times have changed! Draw your guns! (pulls out a Gatling gun.jpg)
Daily Question: Have We Found a Professor Snape Cosplayer Yet?: Damn, is this the Third Wizarding War or what?
[Group owner] always: All fear comes from insufficient firepower (draws a gun.jpg)
I Am Snape's Shampoo: ? Don't be ridiculous
I Am Snape's Shampoo: Professor Snape is still washing his hair with me, so don't get too cocky (points fingers.jpg)
Having finally finished marking those Troll-like exam papers, Snape took a moment on a whim to check the phone he hadn't opened in ages, and saw the chat above.
"..."
Snape: 6
If there hadn't been a tiny bit of very useful information about You-Know-Who and a few other things here, among all the useless drivel resembling the brains of Trolls, Snape would have thrown it away on the first day instead of keeping it until now.
He had also learned from the group that Harry was a Parseltongue... This was not a good sign at all. As far as he knew, neither Lily nor that damned James Potter was a Parseltongue, so Harry shouldn't have had that ability...
It was a good thing the diary had been destroyed right under his and Dumbledore's noses... But the Basilisk still hadn't been eliminated.
Snape fell into thought. He didn't understand what Dumbledore was thinking sometimes, and he only felt that perhaps he didn't dare think too deeply about the reason behind it himself.
Besides, no matter how he looked at it, these so-called fans made his blood pressure soar. Where on earth had they gotten all those bizarre pictures? When had he ever smiled like that?!
As for that "Snape snickers" meme, Snape declared it impossible! Absolutely impossible!
It was downright damaging to Slytherin's image!
And then there were those strange videos. What if Harry were a girl? How ridiculous. Did they think he wouldn't take points off just because Harry was a girl? Snape had only given the videos a cursory look. Though the subject matter displeased him, some of the content was indeed rather good, especially the part where Harri, who looked like Lily, entered Slytherin.
"Hadn't opened it once in ages."
Then he thought of the Gryffindor version of the Chosen One in real life, who looked like James Potter, and his mood soured further.
Come to think of it... Christmas was coming...
Hermione kept busy with her studies and homework, occasionally finding time to read the novel about their lives. It was a long time after that day before she received the other files. To be honest, apart from those about the first few years, she really didn't quite dare open the later ones.
Because their names were truly ominous.
Harry Potter 3 (attachment: Oh my god, my godfather is back), Harry Potter 4 (attachment: Holy shit, that bastard is back from the dead), Harry Potter 5 (attachment: When can I punch that pink toad bastard a couple of times)
And so on...
She had shown Harry and Ron the names. Ron said he was most interested in the sixth book, because its attachment said it was about a professor's embarrassing, edgy past. He wanted to know which professor it was. If it was Snape, that would be wonderful (?.
Harry, on the other hand, was more curious about the third book. His godfather was back? How had he come back?
But Hermione suggested that rather than read it, he might get an answer more quickly by asking the people in the group who already knew his identity.
(Otherwise, if you all go off to read the novels, how will the readers get to appear? / Strike that line.)
Harry fell silent for a moment, then nodded.
Then Hermione asked Ron if Peter Pettigrew had escaped yet. Ron confidently assured her, "Don't worry, I've never taken my phone out in front of him."
"So where did you put him?" Hermione didn't believe Ron never used his phone in the dormitory.
"Under the bed."
Hermione and Harry were both shocked.
"Maybe we should hand it over to Dumbledore too..." Harry took the phone out of his robe pocket. The three of them were sitting by a window in the library, and through it they could see that snow had already begun to fall outside.
Out on the lawn, Fred and George were making snowballs and plotting something.
Perhaps they were going to hit Lockhart in the back of the head with a snowball too.
The twins had mentioned before that it was a shame Quirrell hadn't made it to the snowy weather last year. Otherwise, that snowball would definitely have belonged to the back of his head.
In the group chat.
[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: Harry hasn't come online since that day. It's all your fault! You scared Harry away!
Harry Is Mine: ? Who was the one not wearing pants?
Hug Saint Potter's Thigh: (screenshot. Holy shit, rein yourselves in. If Harry runs away, who's going to marry me.jpg)
Mrs. Potter: Mm-hmm
A Little Lion with a Tiny Bit of Courage: I just joined and immediately tripped over everyone's pants.
Wants to Make Friends: Is everyone free? I have a few questions...
Mrs. Potter: I am!! Even if I weren't, I'd buy myself some free time!
Harry Baby, Come Here for a Kiss: Aaaaaah!
[Group owner] Red-Lipped, White-Toothed The Chosen One: What is it, sweet little Harry?!
Wants to Make Friends: How exactly did Sirius Black escape from prison? Is he really my godfather?