Liu Mang looked like he was only a bag of sunflower seeds away from becoming one of those gossiping aunties at the village entrance.
He was certain Taishang still cared about his reputation and would not, like the Two Sages of the West, attack a junior like him.
So Liu Mang did not take Taishang's words too seriously. Instead, he continued spouting nonsense to Xuan Du with a straight face.
"Big Brother, let me tell you something. In Hong Huang, you must be wary of old men. The kinder and more benevolent they look, the more dangerous they are."
When Jieyin and Zhunti heard Liu Mang's words, their expressions stiffened. They had been enjoying the show, so why did they suddenly feel like they were being subtly mocked?
Xuan Du, who was experiencing life as a person for the first time, clearly lacked experience. He asked in confusion, "Second Brother, why do you say that?"
Liu Mang said earnestly, "Suppose you go out and see an old man lying on the ground. Would you help him up?"
"Uh..." Xuan Du pondered for a moment. "Of course I would!"
Knowing Xuan Du would answer that way, Liu Mang immediately continued, "Once you've helped him up, if he asks you to take him home, you definitely wouldn't refuse, right?"
"Mm! It would just be convenient, wouldn't it?" Xuan Du scratched his head awkwardly. He really did not think he would refuse.
Liu Mang sneered disdainfully, wearing an expression that said, "Just as I expected."
In psychology, this was called the foot-in-the-door effect.
As long as someone agreed to the first request, they would often not refuse the second.
It was like going from "I'll just hold you for a moment" to "I'll just rub against you, not..." Easy as pie.
Liu Mang could not help recalling those days when he had walked around with his hands in his pockets, not knowing what an opponent was.
Now, though, he could only hold his head with both hands, not daring to fight back even when beaten!
"Young people are still too honest!"
Liu Mang let out a long sigh and said to Xuan Du, "How do you know he did not do it on purpose? Maybe he already had five hundred axe-wielding men lying in ambush at his home. The moment you stepped through the door, he would smash a cup as the signal and take your head!"
As he spoke, Liu Mang chopped a hand toward Xuan Du's neck, startling him badly.
"Hiss, that's terrifying! Then I won't take him home!"
"Hehe, not take him home?" Liu Mang sneered. "If you don't, he'll lie back down and refuse to get up. He'll say you hit him and demand an Innate Spiritual Treasure as compensation. If you don't pay, he'll take your kidney!"
"Martial Nephew, I don't take people's kidneys!" Taishang could not listen any longer!
I only vaguely sensed that Xuan Du and I had a karmic connection. How had it become me taking people's kidneys when it came out of your mouth?
If you kept making things up, not only would I fail to take a disciple, but you would ruin my reputation too.
Unlike the speechless Taishang, Jieyin and Zhunti's eyes lit up after hearing this.
"Senior Brother, this method feels tailor-made for the two of us." Zhunti felt as though a whole new world had opened up before him. His thoughts had become much clearer.
"What Junior Brother says is exactly right! I too feel utterly enlightened. It's even more satisfying than an increase in cultivation."
Liu Mang never could have expected that his words would give Hong Huang a pair of old scam artists who specialized in lying by the roadside, asking for help and extorting people. Anyone who refused would have their kidneys taken.
For a time, everyone in Hong Huang was on edge. Whenever they saw an old man, they avoided him.
Back to the matter at hand.
Jieyin looked at Liu Mang and once again extended a sincere invitation. "Martial Nephew, it would truly be a waste of your talent if you did not come to The West. If you are willing to come, Junior Brother and I will treat you as our youngest junior brother!"
It had to be said that Jieyin and Zhunti had done everything they could for The West. They were even willing to raise Liu Mang's seniority.
Liu Mang was somewhat dumbfounded when he heard that.
Then how would Mother and I count our relationship in the future? We'd each count separately—I'd call her Mother, and she'd call me little brother.
Though the two of them had no shame, the others clearly would not agree.
Before Liu Mang could speak, Taishang shouted, "The two of you, shut your mouths! This is absolute nonsense!!"
Taishang took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. Just as he was about to speak, he heard Liu Mang say—
"Great Martial Uncle, I didn't mean that you wanted to take people's kidneys! But if you insist on thinking that, there's nothing I can do!"
Those words were the very essence of a scumbag!
Liu Mang was, after all, the man who had invented the fifty-two-character sacred scripture of scumbags back in the modern age:
"Have you eaten? Sleep early. This thing is a little expensive. Just got out of a meeting. How could I? I'm exhausted after being busy all day.
"I love you. Don't misunderstand. That girl is my sister. You're great, but I don't deserve you. Okay, baby, next."
The moment he opened his mouth, both men and women would fall. Every word drew blood.
How could Taishang have ever encountered such a situation? He nearly failed to catch his breath and suffered a stroke from Liu Mang's anger.
Liu Mang: What stroke? That's called a primordial spirit! jpg
Taishang knew he could never win against Liu Mang in a battle of words.
So he stopped beating around the bush and directly stated his thoughts. "I merely feel that I share a master-disciple affinity with this Human Race member named Xuan Du. I wish to accept him as my disciple. That is all."
After saying that, Taishang inexplicably added, "Absolutely none of those... filthy things you mentioned."
Liu Mang's gaze swept over the two of them, and he put on an expression of sudden realization. "Oh~~ I understand, I understand~!"
Understand my ass. I never should have added that explanation.
Seeing that things had gone far enough, Liu Mang could not be bothered to disgust Taishang any further.
"Taking a disciple? You should have said so earlier. As long as Big Brother agrees, I have no objection."
The moment Liu Mang said he had no objection, he turned around and pulled Xuan Du away.
The two walked off to one side and began whispering to each other.
"Big Brother, do you want to cultivate under him?"
It was only because of Liu Mang's actions that Xuan Du had become the First Ancestor of the Human Race. Still, Liu Mang believed that becoming someone's disciple had to be Xuan Du's own choice.
He did not think Xuan Du should be forced to become Taishang's disciple simply because Taishang was destined to attain the Dao.
Liu Mang hoped Xuan Du could first be Xuan Du, before becoming anything else, rather than becoming like he had originally been: Xuanmen's Eldest Senior Brother, forever adrift beyond Hong Huang like a lonely wandering ghost.
Xuan Du secretly glanced at Taishang and said with some concern, "But I feel that old man isn't good! Earlier, one look from him made it feel as if he saw straight through me. Like I had no secrets at all."
The moment Liu Mang heard that, he knew Taishang must have used Spiritual Sense to examine Xuan Du.
"Ha, that's all? What kind of big deal is that? Since the Ten Great Demon Gods arrived, I've felt like I was stripped naked no fewer than thirty times!"
Liu Mang looked proud. "Once more people showed up, I couldn't even be bothered to count!"
Xuan Du was rather speechless. You had already been seen naked—what exactly were you proud of?
Liu Mang felt that Taishang had examined Xuan Du so closely because he must have noticed something.
Naturally, he would not make Xuan Du give up on taking Taishang as his master over such a minor matter. He continued encouraging him, "Besides, what's wrong with old men? Old men have pensions, and when they're gone, you can always find another!"
Xuan Du said, "Hm? Isn't there something wrong with that?"
Taishang thought, Hm? Is this bastard encouraging Xuan Du to betray his master after I die?
Only when he saw Xuan Du's puzzled expression did Liu Mang realize his mistake. "Pah, no, that's wrong. I mixed up my scripts! I wandered into the matchmaking corner!"
"What I mean is, although he's a little old, a little ugly, a little weaker than Mother, his treasures look a little shabby, and he has a few too few lackeys..."
Taishang: Please stop talking. If you continue, I'll start doubting myself!
Then Liu Mang abruptly changed his tone. "But he is still the Dao Ancestor's first disciple, the head of the Three Pure Ones, and Mother's senior brother. He can be considered one of Hong Huang's top great powers. Taking him as your master would be an incredibly rare opportunity, whether for you or for the Human Race!"
Taishang: Thank you for letting me regain a tiny bit of self-respect.
"Besides, so what if a grown man gets seen through? We're not afraid even if we are!"
As he spoke, Liu Mang put his hands on his hips, straightened his back, swept his gaze around proudly, and said smugly, "We've got plenty of capital. Let him die of envy!"
Xuan Du deliberately ignored the phrase "plenty of capital." After considering it for only a moment, he felt that Liu Mang was right. Taking Taishang as his master would bring more than a few benefits.
Moreover, Xuan Du also hoped to be like Liu Mang, someone who became the center of attention wherever he went. That required not only strength but also backing, and Taishang happened to have both.
Xuan Du nodded. "Alright! I agree!"
Seeing Xuan Du agree, Liu Mang continued to remind him, "But don't agree too quickly. You should know that the more easily something is obtained, the less it will be treasured. At the very least, ask about the doubts in your heart before agreeing."
As Liu Mang spoke, he rubbed the tips of his thumb and index finger together. "Besides, once this village is passed, there won't be another shop!"
Taishang heard every word of Liu Mang and Xuan Du's conversation clearly.
In truth, Liu Mang had never intended to hide it from anyone present. The incident where he had been slapped for mocking Jieyin and Zhunti was still fresh in his mind.
Taishang had not expected that his reckless act of subconsciously scanning Xuan Du with Spiritual Sense would actually make Xuan Du dislike him.
"It seems this disciple of mine has strong self-respect!" Taishang was already considering how he should teach Xuan Du.
As for Liu Mang's conduct, Taishang felt it was not very presentable, but at least his intentions were good. Everything he did was for Xuan Du's sake.
Rather than displeasing Taishang, it actually made him feel somewhat gratified.
It was not because he was some kind of masochist. It was simply that, in Liu Mang and Xuan Du, he saw the shadows of the three brothers.
Back when the three of them had just taken form, they had traveled Hong Huang together.
His temperament was similar to Xuan Du's. He took everything lightly and disliked arguing with others, which caused him to miss many opportunities.
Second Brother and Third Brother feared he would suffer losses, so whenever something happened, they would always rush to the front for him. They were just like Liu Mang and Xuan Du.
Although the three of them were now among Hong Huang's top great powers, those days when they supported and encouraged one another had instead vanished.
For a moment, Taishang thought of many things. Only when Xuan Du turned around and spoke did his thoughts get interrupted.
"If I become your disciple, will I be seen naked every day?" Xuan Du asked weakly.
"I'm not some pervert." Taishang could not help complaining inwardly. "Without your permission, I will not take the initiative to scan you with Spiritual Sense again!"
As Taishang spoke, he took out a jade pendant. With a flick of his finger, the pendant became a streak of light and fastened itself to Xuan Du's belt.
"This jade pendant can block the Spiritual Sense of a Grand Unity Golden Immortal. Consider it an apology for my earlier conduct."
Xuan Du happily held the jade pendant and examined it for a long while. Reluctantly putting it down, he thanked Taishang before continuing to ask—
"Then can I become a Saint by being your disciple?"
After speaking, Xuan Du looked at Taishang with a face full of anticipation.
The reason Xuan Du asked was mainly because he knew nothing about other realms. He only knew that Nu Wa had created him.
And Nu Wa had become a Saint and was incredibly impressive. So many people had come to watch her, and he too wanted to become incredibly impressive someday!
"This, I..."
Taishang was briefly at a loss for words, not knowing what to say.
Fortunately, Liu Mang stepped in and rescued him in time.
Liu Mang gave Xuan Du a hard slap upside the head. With a smack, it landed squarely on his skull.
"Are you stupid? He hasn't even become a Saint himself yet. How can he answer a question like that? Don't you know how to ask the important questions?"
Taishang: I fucking thank you! Do you even know how to talk to people?!
"Oh!"
Xuan Du looked disappointed. Thinking that Liu Mang was right, he looked at Taishang solemnly.
Taishang seemed to be startled by Xuan Du's expression as well. He tucked both hands into his sleeves, and his slightly hunched body straightened. He thought, Please don't ask me another question about becoming a Saint.
The next moment, Xuan Du granted Taishang's wish.
Xuan Du asked, "Do you provide meals?"
Taishang said, "Huh? Huh?"
The leap between questions was that huge? Caught completely off guard, Taishang did not react for a moment.
Xuan Du said proudly, "I'm not going if you don't provide meals!"
Liu Mang slapped a hand over his face and turned his head aside. "I never should have told you that the two most important things in life are eating and drinking!"
You really did learn it and put it to use immediately.
Seeing Xuan Du repeatedly raise his brows at him with a smug expression, clearly asking for praise, Liu Mang helplessly gave him a thumbs-up.
Taishang looked at Liu Mang with dark lines across his face. What exactly had you taught Xuan Du?
Was he accepting a disciple or dealing with a beggar?
Damn it, I've lived for several epochs. I finally found a disciple I liked, so how did this turn into this?
If I want to go back on my word and not accept a disciple now, is it too late?
It's all because of you, you damned Liu Mang!
Fortunately, Taishang had become somewhat immune to the stimulation from Liu Mang and Xuan Du. After trying hard to calm himself, he stammered, "I... I provide meals!"
"As long as you provide meals!"
Hearing Xuan Du's words, Taishang finally let out a long breath. It was finally settled. "Fellow Daoist Nu Wa is, after all, the Saint Mother of the Human Race. Once she successfully attains the Dao and we seek her opinion, you may formally take me as your master."
Xuan Du nodded, exchanged a glance with Liu Mang, and obediently stood behind Taishang.
Yuanshi and Tongtian had watched everything Taishang did. Though they did not understand why he was doing this, neither of them interrupted midway.
Only after the dust had settled did the two voice their doubts.
Yuanshi looked displeased. "Big brother, why accept a Human Race member as a disciple? Though he possesses an Innate Dao Body, there are countless people across Hong Huang more outstanding than him who wish to join our sect. Moreover, we are formed from Father God Pangu's primordial spirits. Why must you do this?"
Taishang was somewhat dissatisfied upon hearing Yuanshi's words, but out of consideration for Yuanshi's pride, he did not point it out in public.
Tongtian, however, did not consider as much. Somewhat angry, he said, "Second brother! You've gone too far!"
Yuanshi did not think he had done anything wrong. He glared at Tongtian and said nothing more.
Taishang looked at Yuanshi and slowly asked, "Second Brother, you must think I saw Nu Wa attain the Dao, then accepted Xuan Du as my disciple in order to forge a karmic bond with her, right?"
Yuanshi did not answer. Instead, he turned his head aside, tacitly admitting it.
Taishang was not angry. Smiling, he patted the slightly disappointed Xuan Du, then turned toward Yuanshi and patiently explained, "When I said I share an affinity with Xuan Du, those were not empty words. And I only intend to accept Xuan Du as my one disciple!"
Xuan Du raised his head to look at Taishang, his face filled with astonishment.
After hearing Yuanshi's words, he had originally thought he was merely a chess piece for Taishang. He had not expected Taishang to truly mean what he said.
At their level of cultivation, any lie could cause one's thoughts to become obstructed and prevent one's cultivation from advancing further.
Since Taishang dared to say it, it meant he had truly made that decision in his heart.
"Elder Brother, this..." Upon hearing Taishang's words, Tongtian grew anxious. Yuanshi also forgot his anger and wanted to persuade him.
Taishang slightly raised a hand and interrupted them. "Listen to me first. The three of us brothers have always had different personalities. You two also know that I prefer peace and inaction. One disciple is just right for me, so there is no need to persuade me further."
Seeing that Taishang had made up his mind, Yuanshi and Tongtian said nothing more.
Both knew that once Taishang made a decision, there was almost no chance he would change his mind.
Yet they could not help but worry. In Hong Huang, who did not take as many disciples as possible? If one accepted only a single disciple and that disciple died prematurely, there would be no successor.
How could Taishang not know what his two brothers were thinking? Yet he did not wish to hide it from them either. With a helpless sigh, he transmitted his voice, "I have already sensed my opportunity to attain the Dao! It lies with Xuan Du—or rather, with the Human Race."
Before you continue