(The main couple, the gong and shou, are the real and fake young masters, switched at birth. After the real young master returned, the fake young master was immediately kicked out. They have never called the same people Mom and Dad, have no blood relation, are not on the same household register, and have no adoptive relationship. This is not pseudo-incest. Reviewers, please take note.)
"Could you please repeat my mission?"
Xie Ji sat in his room and asked with a serious expression.
"I, Xie Ji, the greatest genius in the Quick Transmigration Mission Bureau, have dominated countless male-oriented stories throughout my life, and now you're telling me my mission is to be a cannon-fodder second male lead and protect the protagonist from four perverted scumbags?"
Xie Ji paused. "And a protagonist whose current favorability toward me is negative one hundred, at that?!"
The system, which had taken the form of a little snake, coiled around Xie Ji's hand and raised its little tail pitifully. "Boo-hoo."
Xie Ji: "..."
He looked at the name "Lu Xunji" on the system panel and asked his final, bottom-line question. "Fine. With a name like that, she's obviously a gorgeous woman with a big chest and long legs, right?"
After a long silence, the system dodged the main issue. "Um... in a certain sense, you could say big chest and long legs."
Xie Ji breathed a sigh of relief and rose to his feet, full of swagger. "Then let's go."
The little black snake coiled around his wrist was delighted to see its host perk up. "Where to?"
Xie Ji chuckled, narrowing his beautiful smoky-blue eyes as he brushed aside the hair hanging by his temple. "To win over that cool little beauty you mentioned, obviously. As for those four perverted scumbags, I'll just find some time to castrate them one by one."
Little Black paused. "Host, I think perhaps you should read the plot first?"
And then discover the target's gender as a lovely surprise, and all that...
"Absolutely unnecessary." Xie Ji walked out of the room, planted his hands on his hips, and declared with supreme confidence, "I've done similar missions before. For a destined protagonist like me, every girl falling in love with me is her predetermined fate!"
As the fake young master, he had been thrown out on the very day the protagonist returned.
He no longer had anything to do with the Xie family.
Without the protection of the Xie family, and with the original owner being a useless good-for-nothing who had nothing going for him but a pretty face, the consequences were easy to imagine.
Xie Ji sighed softly, casually snapped off a dewy rose from the windowsill in the room, and sauntered over to knock on the "cool little beauty's" door next door.
He waited a long while. Just as Xie Ji was about to lose patience, the door handle clicked, and someone pulled the door open.
The little black snake quickly burrowed into Xie Ji's clothes.
Reacting swiftly, Xie Ji struck a pose, lowered his head, and bit down on the rose. "Hey, wifey~ You know, I took so many shits today, because I kept missing you, poo-ver and over... holy shit!"
The "cool beauty" before him stood two heads taller than he did and wore a sleeveless T-shirt, exposing handsome, muscular arms. His fingers were long, his nails trimmed into neat curves, and his fingertips pink. One look told you he was in excellent health.
Casually styled black hair fell across his forehead. Even partly hidden by his hair, his eyes held a damp gloom when he looked at someone. Beneath his high, straight nose were red lips, with a full Cupid's bow in a classic M shape that looked very soft and kissable. His jawline was smooth and sculpted-a textbook handsome face.
Xie Ji: "..."
Oh no. Looked like his toes had some serious cringing to do.
The youth looked at him for a long moment before speaking, his tone tinged with cold disdain. "So, you're here to borrow toilet paper?"
Xie Ji took a deep breath and spat out the rose. "Hello, I'm looking for Lu Xunji."
A gorgeous woman with a big chest and long legs.
Not a cool guy like you who looked capable of punching two of me to death in one blow.
The youth paused, his tone odd. "Hello. That's me."
Xie Ji: "..."
Haha.
Hilarious.
Motherfucker.
I don't wanna play anymore.
What happened to the promised gorgeous woman with a big chest and long legs?!
Inside his clothes, the system quietly shook its little head. "According to the system's existing data, Lu Xunji's chest measures 110 cm and his legs measure 1.2 m. Those are exceptionally good physical measurements and fit the description 'big chest and long legs.'"
Xie Ji: "..."
What, so was 'big chest and long legs' not trying hard enough?
Lu Xunji narrowed his eyes at him and asked without much emotion, "Did you need something?"
Xie Ji held it in for a moment. "To borrow toilet paper."
"Oh." Lu Xunji nodded. "No."
He gave an awkward but polite smile and stepped back. "Then that's all. See-"
Before he could finish, Lu Xunji slammed the door shut.
Xie Ji ground his back teeth. "What a lousy personality. Stingy, too."
Little Black suddenly piped up. "No, he's a real man!"
Xie Ji said, "Ha, I don't believe it. By your own account, he's an all-shou. How could he possibly..."
"The system's data is never wrong!" Little Black poked its head out of his clothes. "There's even a custom-made model based on the protagonist's various physical measurements in the system inventory. Let me find it for you..."
"?" Xie Ji said, "Wait, there's no need to look for that. I'm actually not all that interested..."
As he spoke, the little black snake proudly hooked something out with its tail. "Found it! Ta-da!"
Xie Ji: "...What the fuck are you ta-da-ing for?"
The next moment, the sound of a door opening came from behind him.
Startled, Little Black instantly shrank back into Xie Ji's clothes, and Xie Ji instinctively fumbled to catch the falling model.
With the model in his hand, Xie Ji froze, meeting the eyes of Lu Xunji, who had just opened the door.
Lu Xunji held a pack of scented toilet paper, his gaze landing on the model in Xie Ji's hand.
Lu Xunji: "..."
Xie Ji: "..."
After a long moment, Lu Xunji set the tissues on the windowsill beside Xie Ji, fell silent for a moment, then asked, "You really don't bother doing that in private at all?"
At the same time, the system chimed.
[System notification: Protagonist [Lu Xunji]'s favorability toward you has decreased by 10. Current favorability: -110.]
Xie Ji felt as though the sky had come crashing down.