Xie Ji walked in, and the cowshed owner brought him a fresh apron.
[There don't seem to be many viewers in Xie Ji's livestream. Only three people. That's so pathetic. The other young masters' streams all have at least three hundred thousand viewers!]
"Young Field" had seven livestream channels in total. Aside from the main channel, each of the six guests had a separate channel of his own, and viewers could freely choose between the main stream and the guests' individual streams.
Tipping was enabled below the livestream, and half the money tipped would go into the guests' personal accounts. This was their appearance fee.
Although most of these young masters had been forced by their parents to participate in this ridiculous show as a favor to Director He, and thought nothing of the paltry sums viewers tipped them, the tips kept pouring in.
Only Xie Ji's channel was deserted.
The reason was probably his identity as a fake young master. Viewers had little fondness for this pretty young master who had occupied someone else's nest.
The only three people hanging around his stream had come for Xie Ji's looks.
A sparse handful of bullet comments drifted across the screen.
[Looks like we're about to get the sheltered young master clumsily milking a cow routine. Pretty boring.]
[Same, doesn't seem interesting. I heard Lu Xunji has already completed the initial task and earned ten thousand in startup funds. I'm heading over to his stream.]
[Wait for me, person above. I'm coming too.]
The viewer count dropped from 3 to 1.
It really was pitiful.
Xie Ji sat down in front of the dairy cow, but rather than reaching out to milk it, he looked around with a solemn expression, then pointed at another cow. "I choose that one."
The cowshed owner froze for a long moment before refusing. "Not that one."
"Why not?"
The cowshed owner had yet to realize the gravity of the situation and explained very patiently, "Because he's a young bull."
Xie Ji scowled. "Can't bulls produce milk?"
The owner's eyebrow twitched. Seeing that Xie Ji looked serious rather than as though he was joking, he hesitated. "They... can't?"
Xie Ji said, "Why not? All the other cows can produce milk. If it's the only one that can't, he must not be working hard enough!"
The cowshed owner was already sweating buckets. "This isn't something hard work can accomplish, is it?"
"Enough! It knows perfectly well whether it's been eating its grass properly all these years!" Xie Ji planted his hands on his hips. "Now I'm taking him away to give it some ideological cleansing and elevation! I'll teach it the consequences of abandoning its duties as a dairy cow!"
The cowshed owner said, "..."
Wait, this bit wasn't in the script!
Xie Ji stood up and declared righteously, "You said fifty yuan would let me experience milking a cow. Now I haven't had that experience. That's a failure on your part! If you don't address your customer's dissatisfaction, believe me, I'll report you to the industry and commerce bureau for consumer fraud..."
The cowshed owner had never encountered anything like this. With no order to stop him coming through his earpiece from the director, he could only go along with Xie Ji and lead the dairy cow out.
He paused, then cautioned him anyway. "This is the cowshed's breeding bull. Once your... your, ahem, political education class is over, remember to bring it back."
Xie Ji nodded and patted his chest in assurance. "Got it."
The production crew watched the scene through the drone feed and exchanged looks.
Damn, that actually worked?!
Director He leaned back in his chair and coldly instructed the cowshed owner, "If he hasn't returned the cow by nightfall, go make some trouble for him."
The cowshed owner could only nod as he watched Xie Ji lead the dairy cow away.
Little Black huddled in Xie Ji's arms and said, "You're not planning to just take their cow, are you? All the NPCs on this island know where the guests live. If you don't return it later, they'll definitely come make trouble."
Xie Ji stroked his chin and said meaningfully, "Raise a snake for a thousand days, use it for a single moment. Little Black, it's your time to shine."
Little Black said, "..."
He had an ominous feeling.
On the livestream, Xie Ji didn't lead the cow home. Instead, he took it to the roadside... and set up a stall.
The production crew's attention had all been drawn to Xie Ji. Holding a bowl of instant noodles, the assistant director leaned over to Director He's monitor and said, "What exactly is this kid trying to do? He's even set up a stall... He's not planning to slaughter these dairy cows and sell the beef, is he?"
Director He paused.
It wasn't impossible. Given Xie Ji's erratic nature, that might really be his plan!
When the cowshed owner came to collect the cow, he could simply play shameless and claim it had wandered off or something...
Director He hastily grabbed the microphone. "NPCs near Xie Ji, move toward him. If you see him preparing to slaughter the cow, then..."
Before he could finish, Xie Ji bent down and pulled two bamboo poles out from beneath the stall. Each pole supported a strip of cloth. One read "An immortal cow descends to earth," and the other read "No divination ever fails."
A banner in the middle of the stall read "First fortune free."
Director He said, "..."
Following the director's instructions, the NPCs near Xie Ji converged on him. They soon spotted his stall and gathered in front of it, dumbfounded.
"Come one, come all! Don't miss out! First fortune free!"
They had seen fortune-tellers before, but a fortune-telling cow was a real fucking novelty.
Thrown by Xie Ji's antics, Director He snorted. "Someone go ask him. Let's see what this kid is playing at."
An NPC wearing a blue headscarf stepped out of the crowd. "Young... young sir, does this stall mean this cow can tell fortunes?"
Xie Ji nodded. "Of course."
Blue Headscarf quickly got into character and said, barely suppressing a laugh, "You're bluffing, aren't you? This is just an ordinary dairy cow. I even recognize it. Isn't it from the cowshed next door? Where did a swindler like you come from, running your con here?"
Xie Ji patted the dairy cow's back and said, "Big Yellow, say something."
Little Black, lying on one of the cow's black patches and completely hidden from sight, said, "..."
Blue Headscarf looked at the black-and-white dairy cow named "Big Yellow" with an indescribable expression.
Suddenly, without any warning, a voice came from the cow. "Are you sick in the head?"
Blue Headscarf shuddered. "Holy shit!!!"
You might not believe it, but a dairy cow called me sick in the head today!
Everyone else was badly frightened too. They recoiled two meters in shock and stared at the dairy cow, still shaken.
Wait, when the director hired them, he hadn't said this was a paranormal variety show?!
The production crew: "????"
Huh????
Perhaps because he was watching through a screen, Director He wasn't as panicked as the people on the scene. He quickly composed himself and said, "Since when do talking cows exist? Xie Ji probably hid some kind of audio device on it. Someone go check."
Not one of the NPCs dared approach, and the drone footage showed the cow clearly from every angle, with no suspicious audio equipment in sight.
Their production crew had bought these dairy cows themselves. How could one possibly be an immortal cow descended to earth?!
But no matter how Director He urged them, nobody dared go up to it.
The assistant director said, "Isn't he offering fortunes from an immortal cow? Just have someone get their fortune told. If it's a preset audio source, how could it know what the person wants to ask?"
From five meters away, Blue Headscarf asked, "Since the first fortune is free, how about telling mine?"
Xie Ji leaned lazily against the stall. "Sure."
He had once visited a world where he had been a once-in-a-century genius in the Daoist esoteric arts.
Blue Headscarf took a precaution too. "How do I know this cow is accurate... Why don't I test it with a question first? I'll only believe it if it can really work out the answer!"
Xie Ji held up one finger. "The immortal cow only tells one fortune a day. Think carefully."
Blue Headscarf nodded. "I've thought it through."
Xie Ji sighed, looking deeply regretful. "Ask, then."
Director He hurriedly instructed him, "Don't ask about names or other personal information. Those things can all be looked up. Ask something uncertain."
Blue Headscarf thought for two minutes, then asked, "Tell me-where did the five yuan I lost the day before yesterday go?"