Xie Ji used more than ten Divine Sense Fruit in one go, and felt a little dizzy. He leaned back in his chair to rest for a while, but dared not fall asleep. He forced himself to get up and look at Lu Xunji's destiny chart.
I still can't see through it.
Xie Ji took a deep breath, stood up, and, as if struck by a thought, dialed Zhuang Huan's number.
Zhuang Huan answered quickly, his gentle voice coming from the personal terminal. "I never expected you would call me on your own initiative one day."
" Lu Xunji, did he look for you?" Xie Ji bluntly.
There was a few seconds of silence on the other end, as if they were trying to understand what Xie Ji meant, before finally speaking, "You can't find him?"
"Hmm," Xie Ji responded, "Did he go looking for you? Do you know where he is?"
The silence on the other end grew longer before Zhuang Huan let out a lazy smile, "Why do you think he'll come looking for me?"
"Aren't you two quite talkative?" Xie Ji leaned on the chair beside him. "Isn't he quite happy to talk to you?"
Zhuang Huan said helplessly, "You might have misunderstood something. Your family's top scholar has never given me a kind look. I don't know where he is."
Xie Ji was about to hang up the communicator with a cold face when Zhuang Huan said, "However, I have a friend at the Imperial Military Academy who should be able to help you find him. Please wait a moment, okay?"
Xie Ji pursed his lips. "... Mm."
The sound from Zhuang Huan's end faded into the distance, as if he were contacting someone.
Xie Ji ruffled his golden hair and said, "... I was a little harsh just now, sorry, it wasn't at you, I was just a bit annoyed."
"Hmm." Zhuang Huan chuckled good-naturedly, "Did something happen between you and Lu Xunji? You can't find him, so you're worried about him? Logically speaking, with his abilities, he shouldn't be in any danger at the military academy."
Xie Ji paused for a moment, then said, "I saw a bloodstained razor blade in the dormitory. He's always like this. I don't understand why he would hurt himself because of others, always talking about death... It was during the assessment, it was during the confession. What in this world can possibly be more important than one's own life?"
Xie Ji's fingers tugged at his trouser leg. "He was already so good. His abilities surpassed most people. He was smart, capable, and could do everything perfectly. He was better than everyone else. He must have put in a lot of effort to become such an outstanding person. But now that he's dead, it's all gone."
Zhuang Huan remained silent for a long time, then whispered something. Xie Ji was stunned, feeling as if his throat was stuffed with cotton.
"I think you'd get a better answer to this by asking him than by asking me," Zhuang Huan continued. "The military academy's surveillance cameras show him in the mecha simulation training room, room 303. He's the only one there so far. Go find him."
Xie Ji hung up the communicator and ran towards the address Zhuang Huan had given him.
Mech simulation training room, room 303.
Lu Xunji took off the helmet from his head, sweat dripping down his cheek and onto his raised arm. He was wearing a snow-white undershirt of his school uniform, the hem of which was tucked into a wide, gleaming silver lion head leather belt around his waist.
With a raise of her hand, she pulled up her left shirt, revealing her wrist, which was covered in white gauze and now showed some dark red marks.
Lu Xunji paused for a moment, sat on the floor, and removed the white gauze, revealing the hideous wound inside.
The wound was deep, almost to the bone; the torn flesh was turned outwards, but the center was charred black.
The muscle tissue was stuck together in a very rough manner, probably because the owner scalded the wound directly to stop the bleeding.
Lu Xunji frowned, reached out and pinched the wound hard, and blood gushed out instantly, a thick, dark red.
Sweat dripped onto it, instantly swallowed by the crimson hue.
Lu Xunji pursed his pale lips, a faint smile appearing on his face.
Xie Ji burst in, almost frozen in place by the scene before him.
He rushed over like a madman, shoved Lu Xunji's hand away from the wound, and roared, " Lu Xunji, are you crazy?!"
Lu Xunji looked up and calmly stared at him.
Xie Ji ran over, covered in sweat, his face flushed.
"Get out." Lu Xunji pulled his hand away from Xie Ji's.
Xie Ji was bandaging his wound to stop the bleeding. As he pulled, the snow-white gauze slipped off, and another gushing of blood came out. But Lu Xunji's face remained expressionless, as if he wasn't the one bleeding.
"Try doing that again!" Xie Ji was furious and quickly grabbed his wrist. "Don't move!"
Lu Xunji ignored him and continued to recklessly pull his hand away, "I won't die, I don't need you--"
Snap!
A slap interrupted Lu Xunji's words. He turned his face to the side, his bangs obscuring his eyes.
Xie Ji grabbed his hand, quickly stopped the bleeding and bandaged it, gritting his teeth as he said, "If you move again, I'll slap you again."
Lu Xunji: "..."
Perhaps because he was genuinely afraid of being slapped, Lu Xunji indeed stopped moving, lowering his eyes as Xie Ji stopped the bleeding.
"Let's go to the hospital." Xie Ji gave him a quick treatment and then took his hand to leave.
Lu Xunji pulled a first-aid kit from the mecha simulation training pod beside him. "No need, I have medicine, I can handle it."
Xie Ji: "Damn it, why didn't you say so earlier!"
The first-aid kit contained clean white gauze and hemostatic spray, indicating that the owner had prepared for what to do in advance.
Xie Ji carefully treated Lu Xunji's wound, and only after confirming that the bleeding had completely stopped did he breathe a sigh of relief. He then said with exasperation, " Lu Xunji, was this really necessary? Hiding away and acting like you're going to kill yourself over something so trivial? Are you a primary school student? Is self-harm some kind of fashion trend?"
Lu Xunji looked at him with his deep purple eyes. "You brought hemostatic spray, didn't try to kill yourself, and didn't hide."
"Then why aren't you going to class? You won't answer my calls."
"I don't attend meaningless classes; I've already taught myself that material." Lu Xunji turned his head, his voice calm. "I didn't receive your communication request in the training pod just now; it wasn't intentional."
Xie Ji laughed, "What's wrong? Was I meddling in other people's business?"
Lu Xunji frowned. "That's not what they said."
"What exactly do you want?" Xie Ji gritted his teeth and sat down beside him. "Do you know how tiring it is for me to look for you?"
Lu Xunji looked down at the results on the training pod's display screen. "I didn't plan anything, I didn't commit suicide, you can rest assured, and you don't need to feel any psychological burden. What happens to me is my business, even if I really die one day, it has nothing to do with you."
The words Zhuang Huan had just said on the communicator flashed through his mind.
" Xie Ji, Lu Xunji has extremely severe self-destructive tendencies, but self-harm is not his goal; seeking love is."
Xie Ji looked at Lu Xunji's lifeless face, which was pale from blood loss, and was adjusting the parameters of the training pod again with his eyes downcast.
Lu Xunji wanted to end the pain, not his life, so he brought a first-aid kit.
Xie Ji remembered reading a sentence in some book that said if a person often talks about death, he is not looking forward to death, but longing for love.
With his anger dissipating, Xie Ji sat down like a deflated balloon, reaching out to grab Lu Xunji's uninjured hand.
Lu Xunji paused, then looked down at him. "Would you like to try? Mecha piloting class won't be added to your schedule until your second year, but if you want to try it earlier, I can lower your connection threshold a bit to ensure your nerves aren't damaged..."
Xie Ji stood up and kissed Lu Xunji's lips.
It was very cold; Lu Xunji's body felt cold at this moment, unlike the burning sensation he usually felt.
Xie Ji felt that this was the kind of Lu Xunji who needed him the most.
" Lu Xunji." Xie Ji's nose tingled, his lips trembled, and he whispered, "Can I take it back?"
--
People who constantly talk about death are not looking forward to it, but rather yearning for love.
--Shi Tiesheng, Notes on Fictional Matters