Xie Ji: "... Meow? Meow!"
You want to kill the cat?
We're already late for school, don't waste any more time!
Lu Xunji: "Every second I'm apart from you is a waste of time."
Xie Ji: "..."
These sweet nothings, they come in so many layers! Where did you learn them from?
"Wait for me at home? Will you be the first thing I see when I get home? Will you still love me when you come back?"
Xie Ji: "..."
I'm speechless, really.
Finally, Xie Little Cat slapped Lu Xunji out the door with one paw, then threw Lu Xunji's backpack out with it in her mouth.
With bloodstains all over his face, Lu Xunji picked up his bag from the ground and reluctantly left the dormitory.
After circling the house twice and confirming that Lu Xunji had not returned, Xie Ji jumped onto the balcony window.
Mimi's going out too!
Xie Ji has always been a restless person. If he were to stay at home and not go anywhere, even half a day would drive his Little Kitty Baby crazy.
Therefore, Lu Xunji did not close all the doors and windows of the room tightly, leaving an exit for Xie Ji.
Since the dormitory was on the first floor, Xie Ji would not be in any danger if he jumped out.
The little chamois tumbled awkwardly in the bushes, then stood up and rumbled off the weeds.
"Meow!" A hoarse cat's meow came from behind.
Xie Ji turned around and saw that it was an orange cat.
The sunlight shone on him, casting a shadow that seemed like a towering mountain to the little calico boy. Xie Ji swallowed hard and took two steps back. "Meow!"
The orange cat came over with a tumble and came up behind Xie Ji, as if it wanted to sniff his butt. Xie Ji quickly turned around and used his tail to cover his private parts, refusing the orange cat's approach.
"Meow!" the orange cat howled.
Xie Ji, as if by some strange twist of fate, understood what the orange cat meant.
He probably wants to mate with me.
Xie Ji raised his cat paw and slapped the orange cat twice in the sinuses.
"Hey bro, what are you doing? I'm an innocent little male cat!"
The orange cat looked at him with suspicion. "You're talking nonsense! She's so beautiful, with such smooth fur! She must be a female cat!"
Xie Ji squatted down and slapped him again. "I really am male!"
"I don't believe you unless you show me." The orange cat stared at Xie Ji, its face filled with excitement and affection. "You're the most beautiful female cat I've ever seen, I want to mate with you! You won't regret choosing me, I'm the strongest of this generation!"
Xie Ji, unable to bear it any longer, jumped onto the windowsill. "I really am a tomcat, this is my house! Brother, stop trying to sniff my butt, it's weird!"
The orange cat looked puzzled. "I just wanted to say hello."
Xie Ji hid his little bell. "I'm a different kind of kitten. I don't greet people like that. Go away, my owner doesn't let me play with silly cats!"
The orange cat jumped onto the windowsill and squatted down next to Xie Ji: "There are no male cats among calico cats, don't lie to me, I will definitely mate with you today!"
Xie Ji raised his cat paw and slapped the orange cat's face a few times with his cat fists. "Get away from me, you greasy male cat!"
The orange cat had clearly lost patience and opened its mouth to bite Xie Ji.
"I did it! I really did it!"
Xie Little Cat's punches were incredibly fast; she pounded the orange cat for two or three minutes, almost turning the Little Orange into a bouncy, delicious cat ball.
The orange cat was punched so hard it couldn't open its eyes. It didn't hurt, but it was extremely humiliating.
After Xie Ji finished hammering the bell, he turned and ran away. In his haste, he forgot to cover his little bell, and the orange cat froze on the spot.
"Damn! You really are a male cat!"
Xie Ji quickly stopped him, saying, "You won't believe me!"
"..." The orange cat slumped on the windowsill, its expression one of utter despair as its beautiful dream shattered. "How is this possible? How is this possible? You damn gay bastard, give me back my beautiful calico cat!!"
Xie Ji meowed, "Want to get beaten up again?"
The orange cat quickly stood up, grinning shamelessly, and said, "Give me a few more punches, it'll feel good."
Xie Ji: "..."
I was so scared by Nantong that I almost fainted.
"Soft little kitten paws, nails trimmed so neatly, it didn't hurt at all." Big Orange said with a look of ecstasy, "When I was slapped, the fragrance came first, then the slap. The moment the fragrance entered my nostrils, the burning pain on my face wasn't pain anymore, it was pleasure."
Xie Ji took a few steps back, speechless. "Big brother, please stop talking. It's weird."
The Big Orange jumped up. "Let's get to know each other again, are you a new cat?"
Xie Ji kept his distance from him. "I guess so."
"Then you've come to the right place," Big Orange said. "Lots of the students here are rich. You can just stop any student and have a feast! From now on, you'll follow me, and I guarantee you'll live the high life!"
"I can live a good life even without following you." Xie Ji flicked his tail, jumped off the windowsill, and walked towards the school. "I have an owner, okay?"
"Your owner will abandon you sooner or later anyway," the Big Orange said, following Xie Ji. "You'll be my cat eventually!"
Xie Ji stopped and asked him, "Where is your master?"
The orange cat tossed its head. "I don't have an owner."
"Oh." Xie Ji skipped forward. Cats are very light and can jump very high. It was a feeling that Xie Ji had never experienced when he was a human. Xie Ji was happy to experience new things.
The orange cat followed behind him without saying a word.
Along the way, several stray cats hid in the bushes, spying on this beautiful, happy, and carefree little cat.
The orange cat was behind him. If any cat tried to bother Xie Ji, he would fight it. If he could win, he would fight; if he couldn't, he would meow to warn Xie Ji to run away.
Xie Ji saw the orange cats fighting and instead ran back home.
The Big Orange tabby rolled its eyes and meowed.
Silly cat, you're running in the wrong direction!
As a result, Xie Ji raised his cat paw and gave the tabby cat on the other side another beating.
The raccoon dog got its fill of the hammer again and followed Xie Ji relentlessly.
Xie Ji spent the afternoon wandering around the campus, visiting many places he couldn't access before. When he finally had his fill of fun, he passed by the teaching building and saw the clock hanging in the classroom.
At this point, Lu Xunji should be finishing class soon.
Xie Ji flicked her tail, getting ready to pick up her boyfriend after class.
I turned around and realized that a huge group of cats was following me.
"..." Xie Ji: "What are you doing if you're not brothers?"
The Big Orange jumped out and said, "You're too small. It's not safe for one cat to be alone. I'll protect you."
Xie Ji: "?"
Brother, do I need your protection for my invincible cat-like fist technique?
"What about the rest?" Xie Ji asked. "Why are they following me too?"
"They're your little brothers," Big Orange said. "From now on, all the cats in the military academy are under your rule!"
Xie Ji: "...?"
Huh? Me?
"That's not right." Xie Ji paused for a moment. "Why would I rule over a cat colony?"
Little Orange said seriously, "This is the highest honor of the Meow Meow Cult!"
Xie Ji: "..."
Oh no, he's really turned into a cult leader.
It must be because his Meow Meow Punch is too powerful.
Xie Ji couldn't help but feel a little cocky. He coughed and said, "Greetings everyone! Since you all trust me so much, then I—no, I, this leader, will definitely lead you to glory! To happiness!"
The stray cats below quickly became agitated, then all swarmed around Xie Ji, looking at him longingly.
Xie Ji was so jostled that he could barely keep his balance and looked to Big Orange for help.
"Holy crap, what are they doing?"
The Big Orange tabby cat said, "They want you to groom them! Leave your scent on them, so all the cats know that this whole cat colony is yours!"
Xie Ji: "..."
Ah.
If he rubs his nose so much, his scent glands will go dry!
If Lu Xunji finds out...
Xie Ji, adhering to traditional male virtues, refused the cats' requests to rub against him. Instead, he gently brushed the kittens' foreheads with the tip of his tail and said, "In our house, we always mark them this way. How about this? Line up and start one by one!"
Although the stray cats didn't quite understand, they still obediently lined up, waiting for the cult leader's blessing.
The first one to be affected was the Big Orange, its fragrant tail tip brushing against his head, truly enchanting the cat!
As soon as Lu Xunji finished class and walked out of the teaching building, he saw his beloved kitten sitting on the edge of a flower bed not far away, covered in dust and looking dirty.
A bunch of damned stray cats surrounded his kitten under the flower bed, their eyes shining with longing.
Lu Xunji: "..."
While Xie Ji was still sweeping, the kitten caught sight of Lu Xunji standing in front of the teaching building. It immediately jumped off the flower bed and ran towards Lu Xunji, meowing.
Lu Xunji crouched down to make it easier for the kitten to jump into his arms.
Xie Ji leaned closer and sniffed Lu Xunji.
The scent I applied this morning was so faint it was almost undetectable, but thankfully his scent glands weren't depleted, so I can apply it again.
So a group of stray cats stared blankly as their leader meowed and rubbed his scent glands, which he was reluctant to give to them, all over the human.
Lu Xunji was incredibly jealous, but Xie Ji easily appeased him. Not minding the kitten's dirt, Xie Ji hugged the kitten and affectionately tapped its nose. "Good boy."
Xie Ji of nuzzling Lu Xunji, she nestled in his arms and kept meowing.
If he were human now, he would probably be excitedly recounting his day's adventures, sharing all his joy with those close to him.
Lu Xunji listened as he carried him back.
A group of stray cats followed behind him. One tabby cat looked up blankly and asked, "Boss, didn't you say your name was Sang Biao? Why is he calling you 'Good Boy'?"
Xie Ji: "..."
The Big Orange tabby smacked the tabby's head with its paw. "Don't ask too many questions about the boss! Also, our boss has an owner; 'Good Boy' is just his stage name!"
Xie Ji nodded quickly. "Meow meow meow!"
Yes, yes, I'm definitely a gangster, but I still have a human being at home to appease.
The stray cats followed Lu Xunji and escorted Xie Ji home. They meowed wildly at Xie Ji's window, but Xie Ji stood there and told them to go home first, promising to come back and play with them the next day. The stray cats then gradually dispersed.
Lu Xunji lifted him by the scruff of his neck and took him to bathe. The pet drying box he ordered yesterday had arrived today, and he could bathe the kitten now.
"Our little darling is so amazing." Lu Xunji rubbed his fur while squinting his eyes. "You got me all dirty after just one day out... And who told you to play with those stray cats? What if you spread any diseases?"
Xie Ji patted his wet hand, offering a perfunctory consolation.
Lu Xunji snorted coldly and tapped his forehead with his fingertip, "If you let them touch you again, don't blame me for what I might do."
"..." Xie Ji flicked the tip of his tail, not paying much attention.
What could Lu Xunji do to the cute kitten? After all, the kitten was so small, he couldn't do anything with it.
Having sensed Xie Ji's arrogance, Lu Xunji lowered his eyes and cursed at him, "Bad cat."
Xie Ji: "Meow!"
Who's the bad cat!
After giving him a bath, Lu Xunji dried him off with a towel, then put him in the pet drying box, set the temperature and time to a comfortable setting, and got up to get ingredients from the refrigerator to cook.
Xie Ji squatted in the pet drying box and suddenly felt like he was the food that Lu Xunji was about to make.
The kitten is like a sweet, soft little bread roll waiting to be baked.
Today, Lu Xunji is cooking salmon and grouper, all kinds of delicious fish.
Xie Ji doesn't actually like eating fish because he always finds it fishy. He's picky, but he craves the tender and chewy texture of fish, so the price of fish is often quite high.
Fortunately, Lu Xunji could afford to support him.
When Xie Ji came out of the oven—no, the pet drying box—she transformed into a clean, fragrant kitten. Lu Xunji stood in front of the grooming table, headphones on her ears, listening to music.
What songs can't be listened to with a kitten? Are you kidding me because kittens can't wear headphones?
Xie Ji ran to the Bluetooth speaker, pressed it with his paw to disconnect the Bluetooth, and smooth singing voice floated out from the speaker.
"A noodle shop that makes cats put noodles in cat fur!"
A kitten running a red light caused a student to eat during the college entrance exam!
A kitten helped an elderly woman run a marathon, proving that exercise is good for your health!
The kitten illegally parked and even threatened the traffic police, saying, "Don't give me a ticket!"
That naughty cat! It sheds a pound of fur every day!
Bad cat, bad cat, fully insured semi-trailer bread!
Bad cat! Bad cat! It farted and then ran away!
Xie Ji: "..."
Hello? Is this 110? Someone here is slandering a kitten.
After being a cat for two days, Xie Ji had developed a sense of collective honor and couldn't tolerate the despicable humans slandering kittens, so she angrily switched to the next song!
The audio started playing, along with the sound of fabric rubbing together, some indescribable breathy sounds tinged with crying, and a sound effect like churning water.
Lu Xunji hummed softly through his nose, praising in a hoarse voice, "Very good, you did very well, baby..."
Xie Ji's cat was completely flustered, its paws rapidly slapping the button to switch to the next song, almost causing sparks to fly from the Bluetooth speaker!
Lu Xunji appeared behind him, reached out and turned off the stereo, then picked up the kitten.
Do you like it?
Xie Ji slapped Lu Xunji's face with a cat paw!
"Meow!!"
When was this recording made?!
Lu Xunji shook the kitten's paw. "I like it very much."
Xie Ji: "..."
Xie Ji: "?"
Okay, even if you really like it, there's a small problem: Who asked you?