Xie Ji rested his forehead on Lu Xunji's shoulder and muttered softly, "Arrest him... arrest him... don't go, don't go looking for him..."
Lu Xunji pinched Xie Ji's chin and gently rubbed his lips against it.
" Xie Ji," Lu Xunji said. "This is the second time I've let you go."
The first time was in the hospital after he disembarked. He opened his eyes and recalled his loss of control on the ship.
Even a normal person would feel afraid. Once you see the filth and stench beneath his skin, even if you like him, you'd still feel fear, right?
This is normal; he doesn't blame Xie Ji.
He never blamed anyone.
To him, these people were nothing but lowly dust beneath his feet, and beneath that dust, he grew flesh and bones as filthy as mud.
Lying in the hospital bed, he thought to himself, what if Xie Ji was also afraid of him, just like everyone else?
He was willing to hide all his despicable thoughts, put on a mask, and they would never have any further relationship. He would be the normal, aloof Lu Xunji.
But Xie Ji did not. It seemed that all his actions were perfectly normal. He showed no surprise, no shock, and no fear.
She simply leaned down to ask him if his wound hurt, her soft, golden hair falling down and brushing against his face, a gentle warmth that seemed to reach straight to his heart.
Xie Ji didn't find him strange or scary, so he approached him even more brazenly, trying to frighten him with one sentence after another.
Like a traveler who has been parched for a long time and finally received rain, he couldn't wait to tell Xie Ji all the filth and unpleasantness that he had kept bottled up inside for so many years.
The layer of skin he wore so tightly in public was something he couldn't wait to take off and show Xie Ji. Countless times, he could even fantasize about Xie Ji getting pleasure from the look in his eyes when Xie Ji looked at his bare skin.
He was not some aloof and indifferent young master; he was lustful, greedy, and ambitious.
Perhaps it still frightened him.
Lu Xunji thought, but he didn't regret it. Even if he had to do it all over again, he probably would still do the same thing.
He is actually very self-disciplined. Even with this illness, no one can touch him unless he wants to. He hides it very well and won't let anyone see a thing about him.
" Lu Xunji..." Xie Ji raised his head in his arms, his misty blue eyes looking at him earnestly. "You'll get better, I'll heal you, okay?"
Lu Xunji chuckled softly, a slight smile playing on his lips.
Everyone is calling him a scoundrel, a beast, and shameless;
People close to you are saying, "You're disgusting, you're filthy, why can't you change?"
His psychologist had repeatedly suggested that this pathological mentality might accompany him for the rest of his life, but even so, he should not give up hope.
But where did he get his hope?
They stand on the moral high ground, expressing either condemnation, pity, fear, or disappointment.
High and mighty.
Despite all the criticism, he himself is the only one at fault.
"Okay," he replied in a low voice, his tone laced with coldness. "Thank you."
Xie Ji narrowed his eyes, seemingly thinking of something, smiled, and pulled Lu Xunji's hand as they walked out.
"Come here, come here..." Xie Ji grabbed his wrist and pulled him behind the pond.
A cold night wind blew, Xie Ji, who had been drinking, shivered and led Lu Xunji to hide behind the artificial rocks by the pond.
"It's not cold anymore, there's no one here, no one here." Xie Ji muttered, reaching out to press Lu Xunji against the artificial rock, pressing his face with both hands, and suddenly standing on tiptoe to kiss him.
Lu Xunji narrowed his eyes but didn't move.
"Good boy, good boy..." Xie Ji rubbed his earlobe with his fingers and hiccuped. "We'll do it secretly... secretly, without them finding out, or they'll take you away."
Lu Xunji didn't speak, but only looked down at him.
Xie Ji was quite drunk, and kept nuzzling Lu Xunji's lips. "Mmm, I'll kiss you, don't cry, don't cry, I'll kiss you and you'll be fine, my little darling."
"You're not quite lucid right now." Lu Xunji turned his head away, pinched Xie Ji's cheek and shook it. "After tomorrow, the chance I gave you still counts."
He lowered his head and bit Xie Ji's lips hard.
Xie Ji, reeking of alcohol, allowed Lu Xunji to kiss him fiercely.
After a short while, Xie Ji couldn't take it anymore and tried to push him away. " Lu Xunji, Lu Xunji, don't kiss me so hard, I'm going to throw up."
Lu Xunji released him, turned around, and picked him up.
A posture where one can only rely on the person behind them.
With his legs off the ground, Xie Ji suddenly lost his sense of security and instinctively reached out to grab something, but all he saw was a rough stone wall. He was being pressed against the artificial hill by Lu Xunji.
Even though Xie Ji was quite drunk, he was still a little frightened at this moment.
His scalp suddenly throbbed, Xie Ji struggled violently, but his hands were restrained, and his legs were too weak to lift.
The two were obviously of vastly different sizes, and Xie Ji was powerless against Lu Xunji.
A hot breath brushed past his ear, and Lu Xunji bit his earlobe hard.
Xie Ji felt a sudden, sharp pain that made his vision go black.
"Are you scared?" Lu Xunji whispered.
Xie Ji frowned, then suddenly widened his eyes, his voice hoarse. " Lu Xunji..."
Lu Xunji chuckled, "You know I'm sick, right?"
Xie Ji sobbed, "No, Lu Xunji, don't scare me like that."
Lu Xunji scoffed, "So scared, trembling all over, poor thing... The rabbit's frightened, it should obediently hide in its burrow and not come out again, right?"
Xie Ji just kept crying and didn't say anything.
Lu Xunji sighed in his ear, then picked him up and said, "I'm taking you to rest."
The crisis seemed to have passed. Xie Ji wiped away her tears, nestled in his arms, and murmured an "Mmm."
Lu Xunji took Xie Ji back to his own room, cleaned his body, changed him into soft, skin-friendly pajamas, and didn't forget to pull over a small blanket to cover Xie Ji's navel.
He turned and went out the door, returning to his room.
In the brightly lit bathroom, Lu Xunji felt a little dizzy from the scorching light. Under the extremely bright light, no secret could be hidden.
He looked down at the flowing water and let out a hoarse, scoffing laugh.
Lu Xunji is beyond saving.