The air around the dining table was a little too chilly.
The guests exchanged glances, none of them quite daring to speak. Shen Huaian covertly observed the big shot, and Yu Qing slowly shook his head at him, signaling him not to ask for trouble.
Even the director next door, watching the livestream over his meal, felt that something was off about the atmosphere. The bullet comments were all speculating about what had offended this god again.
Only Wen Jiu, that oblivious straight guy, remained completely unaware of the man's foul mood despite sitting directly in the blast of this human air conditioner. He ate away with gusto, smacking his lips, and after polishing off one bowl of rice, got up for a second.
"Hey-"
Everyone looked up at the sound.
It turned out that little foodie Wen Xiaojiu had had his bowl snatched. Just as he was about to bristle, Big Shot Feng sighed, utterly helpless against him. "It's inconvenient for you to get up. Let me."
Wen Jiu's hackles settled again. "Oh, thanks!"
Feng Chi ground his teeth at that instantly radiant smile.
I'm really regressing with age, actually expecting this stupid straight guy to take the initiative to soothe me.
It'd be faster to soothe myself.
Everyone: ...
Bullet comments: [...]
[Unless I'm seeing things, isn't Wen Jiu sitting on the outside? And Feng Chi on the inside?]
[Don't say a word. If President Feng says it's inconvenient for him, it's inconvenient. You dare question the big shot?]
In the time it took to serve some rice, Big Shot Feng had soothed himself.
He even good-naturedly picked up some food for the little idiot. "A-Jiu, have some chicken."
The viewers hadn't even had time to savor the sweetness of "A-Jiu"-they had wanted to earlier, but the sweet moments had been coming too thick and fast.
Who knew which of Wen Xiaojiu's nerves those words had struck this time? He instantly became a cat whose tail had been stepped on, springing up to swipe a claw at his owner.
"Chicken, my ass!"
"Civilized people don't say cock, you know?!"
Next door, the chief director spat out a mouthful of rice. "Pfft!"
Feng Chi's chopsticks trembled, and with a clack, the piece of chicken rolled into the hollow in Wen Jiu's bowl of rice.
Dead silence instantly fell.
The bullet comments exploded.
Everyone stared at the person who had stood up in astonishment. Only after a long while did a soft chuckle from the man break the silence at the table.
Only then did Wen Jiu realize what he had said. His face instantly burned red all the way down to his neck, and he was so embarrassed he wished he could die on the spot.
A classic case of his mouth running wild ahead while his brain frantically chased behind.
Aaaaah, heeelp (voice cracking)!
Someone give me a spaceship and help me escape Earth!!
[Case closed, case closed! What was the little couple doing in their room? Answer: eating cock!]
[Which plate of chicken were they eating? [doge]]
[Big plate chicken [innocent face]]
[Sis above, you'd better actually mean big plate chicken.]
[No wonder wifey's lips were so swollen! Aaaaah, I'm losing my mind!]
[Too many sweet moments! I couldn't get through them even if I stayed up all night! Aaaaah, am I going to get diabetes?]
[Um... I measured it out with my hands. Our son's mouth might run a lot, but if you look closely, it's actually pretty small. Smaller than mine.]
[...To be honest, I noticed too. Wifey was enjoying his food the most out of everyone at the table, smacking away. I ate my lunch watching his mouth. (P.S. I'm a passerby, not a pervert.)]
[Screw your "passerby," you horny creep in deerskin. Drag them out!]
[I remember years ago, during a livestream, wifey sneaked a piece of cake while his manager was away. I saw it. Such a tiny piece, and he took two bites to eat it.]
[It... it wouldn't fit, would it?]
[Would he choke?]
[Hey, even cake can be eaten in two bites.]
[I get it.]
[I get it too.]
[Legendary.]
[I'm dying. This is a comment section, not a lawless wasteland! Have some humanity, hahahaha.]
[Not being human is pretty nice. Being human is too stifling.]
[Look at wifey. He hasn't acted human in ages, and isn't his mental state pretty good?]
Wen Jiu was not good. Wen Jiu was going insane.
Everyone at the table was comforting him. Yu Qing was as gentle as ever, but couldn't conceal the laughter in those eyes.
Sitting beside him, Feng Chi reached out to pull him down, barely managing to press him onto his stool.
But Wen Xiaojiu was completely beyond soothing now. He wanted nothing more than to throw down his bowl and leave, drag his luggage out of Peach Blossom Spring Village overnight, and find somewhere without internet to grow old alone!
Feng Chi put his bowl and chopsticks back into his hands, even thoughtfully removing the piece of chicken, and comforted him patiently. "Be good. The food's getting cold. Eat up."
Wen Jiu glumly poked the rice in his bowl with his chopsticks, so depressed that even his food had lost its appeal.
He grumbled at the man, "It's all your fault!"
"Yes, it's my fault." Feng Chi would stop at nothing to soothe him. He ate the chicken in his bowl for Wen Jiu to see. "It's fine. I like eating chicken too."
Wen Jiu was about to bristle again. "Aaaaah, stop talking!"
The man hurriedly scrambled to soothe him.
In his anger, Wen Jiu picked up several pieces of chicken in a row and put them in the man's bowl, roaring fiercely, "Eat! If you like it, have some more!"
As he spoke, he glared at the man again and added pointedly, "I chopped up this chicken myself!"
Feng Chi held back his laughter. "Really? Then I'd better eat even more."
Wen Jiu choked and fell silent.
Eat, eat, eat! Stuff yourself to death, you bastard!
The first meal of this episode was utter chaos.
Shen Huaian held in his laughter the entire time, so hard he could barely hold his chopsticks steady!
After the meal, the chief director came over cheerfully to announce that the last guest would arrive at Peach Blossom Spring Village that afternoon. Since Peach Blossom Spring House didn't have enough rooms, they would be sharing, two to a room.
That had been arranged beforehand.
Yu Qing and Shen Yu were already a couple and stayed in the little wooden room by the window on the east side of the first floor. Shen Huaian stayed next door.
The second floor housed the visiting guests and also had two rooms. The director assigned Feng Chi and Wen Jiu to one, and Lin Shuheng and the other guest to the other.
Feng Chi had tested the beds when he went upstairs earlier. Both were large enough for even two people to share one, and he said he had no objections.
Of course not. He couldn't wait to share a room with his wife.
Wen Jiu rolled his eyes elegantly and was just about to ask whether Shen Huaian's room had enough space when someone unexpectedly gave his hem a gentle tug.
He turned and met the man's beautiful, pitiful eyes.
A quiet, breathy voice reached his ear, very soft, drifting into it like cotton fluff. "Hubby..."
Wen Jiu's little face reddened. He couldn't withstand it.
Fuck you, the bastard's acting cute again!
Lin Shuheng instinctively wanted to look at Feng Chi but didn't dare. His face was still a little pale. Naturally, he knew who the other guest was, and nodded in agreement.
The chief director was very pleased.
The very pleased chief director took out his planning notebook, flipped through a few pages, and found them blank.
Zhang Guozhong: ...
The assistant director shrewdly activated all the cameras' livestream feeds.
Hahahahas floated across the entire screen.
[Legendary. I'm dying.]
[This director is such an attention seeker too.]
[Am I the only one still excited? Round it up and Enduring are practically sharing a bed???]
[Oh, look at you, so inexperienced. With the actual couple right here, do you really need to scrape together those crumbs of sweetness? They've already had big plate chicken.]
[Help, not the freaking big plate chicken.]
[Master, I've achieved enlightenment. I'm going to rewatch it right now.]
[Master, I've achieved enlightenment. Review the old to learn something new.]
Before anyone knew it, the bullet comments had launched into rocket-speed dirty talk again, while the attention-seeking director was still pretending to read from his blank page:
"This afternoon, everyone can take a short break. Tonight, we'll hold an open-air banquet with the residents of Peach Blossom Spring Village. Just eating, drinking, and watching performances."
"Our guests are all very talented, so how about this? Everyone performs one act, and anything else is up to you. Sound good?"
Feng Chi instinctively looked at Wen Jiu, the corners of his lips slowly curving upward.
He had seen Wen Jiu perform onstage, at a venue holding tens of thousands, no less.
The young man had stood onstage with all the starlight surging toward him, a spectacle unlike anything before.
The kid had shone brilliantly.
"Director, what about him?" Wen Jiu raised his hand and pointed at the man grinning foolishly beside him-from his wife's perspective. "Does Feng Chi have to prepare something too?"
An overbearing CEO handled countless affairs every day. How would he have time for this stuff?
It'd be awkward if he couldn't do anything. How could a little variety show dare embarrass an overbearing CEO?
Zhang Guozhong didn't dare. He was so startled he nearly dropped his planning notebook. "No, no, no. How about this? It's optional, optional. Everything's optional."
"It's fine. I can."
This time, it was Wen Jiu's turn to be shocked. "You really can? Can do what?"
"Sing. Will you listen?" Feng Chi was in a very good mood. "Were you worried about me? Afraid I'd embarrass myself?"
"Who-who said that?!" Wen Jiu brushed away the hand that had clingily wound its way over and stiffened his neck, insisting there was no way he would worry about this dog. "Y-you can sing if you want!"
"I won't listen!"
The man was still smiling. "Really?"
"I'll cover my ears!" Wen Jiu loudly declared as he ran toward Yu Qing, refusing to bother with him.
Yu Qing was drying dishes nearby, working seamlessly with Shen Yu, one washing and one drying.
They were returning guests, long accustomed to the chief director's unserious manner. When he started announcing the rules, they had brought over two basins of water and listened while washing dishes off to the side.
Once the director finished, they discussed what to perform.
Their conversation was natural and harmonious, and the atmosphere between them was warm, a faint sweetness woven through the mundane details of daily life.
Even someone as oblivious as Wen Jiu could sense it. There was no room for anyone else.
No wonder the viewers complained that Shen Huaian was a third wheel.
Wen Jiu turned and bounded off to find the little third wheel.
When he looked around, the little third wheel was watching him, desperately trying to suppress the upward twitch of his lips.
Wen Jiu: ???
Wen Jiu tilted his head in confusion.
The little third wheel failed to hold in his laughter. "Pfft!"
Wen Jiu smiled politely, the curve of his lips looking very strained. "...Do I look funny?"
Shen Huaian said, "No, you... Pfft, hahahahahaha!"