Wen Jiu's face darkened with anger. He thought Shen Huaian had held it in too long at the dinner table, which was why he was laughing at him so brazenly after they left it.
Before he could finish sharpening the forty-meter saber in his hand, a brand-new piece of embarrassing history had already arrived.
"No... pfft, hahaha! You... pfft! Behind your b-butt... pfft, hahahahahaha!"
Shen Huaian genuinely seemed to be trying to explain Wen Jiu's current predicament, but he simply couldn't help himself. He laughed after every word, then laughed after the next. Anyone who didn't know better would have thought he'd eaten something bad.
His face dark, Wen Jiu instinctively covered his butt and looked behind him.
What the fuck were those two feelers behind his butt???
Sweatpants didn't need a belt; they had an elastic waistband and a drawstring. In his rush earlier, Wen Jiu hadn't checked which side was the front. The elastic fit snugly around his waist, and the fabric was so soft and comfortable that he hadn't noticed anything wrong.
He'd been sitting the whole time earlier, so no one had noticed. Now that he looked, those two drawstrings were fucking dangling over his butt cheeks like feelers!
Wen Jiu's butt was rather perky, too. He was utterly mortified.
Feng Chi was outside the door discussing something with Zhang Guozhong. At the sound, they both turned to look and froze.
The next second, Zhang Guozhong's unrestrained laughter rang out from the doorway.
"Hahahaha, Wen Xiaojiu, why have you got your pants on backward?" Zhang Guozhong slapped his thigh wildly and leaned closer to look. "These two strings look like tails, hahahaha!"
Zhang Guozhong was used to shouting while directing dramas and recording variety shows, and his voice was loud as hell. That one shout not only alerted Yu Qing and Shen Yu, but also drew the staff outside the courtyard to the doorway to watch the fun.
Wen Jiu's face turned scarlet. He clumsily covered his butt with both hands and retreated inside, but eyes followed him from every direction. He had nowhere to hide. Besides, the HD cameras had long since broadcast his predicament across the country.
[Hahahahaha, I'm going to laugh away all the merit I've accumulated in this lifetime.]
[Three public humiliations in half a day. What kind of heaven-chosen variety star is Wen Jiu?]
[No idea. Our boy's been dumb since he was little, but he's never been this unlucky... wait, actually, maybe he has. Holy shit, hahahahahaha!]
Wen Jiu was practically in tears!
Feng Chi couldn't help raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. His head hurt.
He had meant to remind him when they came downstairs earlier, but Wen Jiu had interrupted him, and he'd actually forgotten about it.
Feng Chi had never made such an elementary mistake before. It felt as though everyone was laughing at him. His mood at that moment was just as unpleasant as Wen Xiaojiu's.
Wen Jiu gazed pleadingly at the man approaching him with a grave face. Feng Chi wasn't laughing at him, and Wen Jiu was deeply touched.
The man's image instantly grew imposing.
"Feng Chi, they're all laughing at me." Before the man could reach him, Wen Jiu threw himself at him, like a brat who had been bullied by his teacher and classmates at kindergarten and had finally spotted the parent coming to pick him up, clinging to him to complain.
He really did look terribly wronged.
"They're all bullying me!"
"Be good. They're the ones at fault." Feng Chi rubbed his fluffy head, then rolled up the drawstrings and tucked them into his waistband.
"I'll take you back to your room. Just turn them around, and it'll be fine."
"Mm-hmm!" Wen Jiu was far too ashamed to face anyone. When the man scooped him up, he didn't struggle over the position, simply burying his face in his chest and playing turtle.
He, Wen Xiaojiu, the aloof male idol who had reached the pinnacle of the entertainment industry, had transmigrated into a book, only to lose every shred of his dignity on this live variety show of Zhang Guozhong's.
The viewers hadn't expected even this to take such a turn, and they shipped the couple like mad in the barrage.
Once they returned to the room, Feng Chi immediately covered the camera with a piece of clothing from the corner. Only after shutting and locking the door did he set Wen Jiu on the bed.
"It's all right now. Go ahead and change."
"Waaah, Feng Chi, you're so nice!" Wen Jiu finally handed out his first nice-guy card since transmigrating.
He had never found Feng Chi so reliable before.
The corners of Feng Chi's mouth lifted slightly. He couldn't help it.
It would be even better if he called me hubby, he thought privately.
After fixing his pants, Wen Jiu was still too embarrassed to go out. Only when he heard activity in the courtyard did he poke his head toward the window for a look.
That bastard Li Peiqi had arrived.
The bad blood between the two of them went way back.
Back when Wen Jiu debuted, Li Peiqi had tried to use his financial clout to keep him. Wen Jiu had a fiery temper and had openly cursed him out in front of the cameras, offending him thoroughly.
Li Peiqi had suppressed him relentlessly. Even as Wen Xiaojiu struggled to survive, he still tore into him whenever they met.
In the viewers' words, Wen Jiu was the celebrity who had survived the longest under the wild barrage of the Li-family Gatling gun, while Li Peiqi was the boss who had tangled the longest with Wen Jiu's forty-meter saber.
The two had spent years "loving and fighting each other," waiting to see who would "die" first.
Sure enough, at the earlier banquet, Li Peiqi had retaliated against Wen Jiu by having him drugged, and a twist of fate had landed him in bed with Feng Chi.
Now, watching Lin Shuheng rush forward to greet him, Wen Jiu had reasonable grounds to suspect he'd had a hand in what happened last time.
That dumbass's deeds were every bit as filthy and vile as his thoughts.
"He's here?" Warmth suddenly brushed close to his ear. Wen Jiu instinctively turned, landing squarely in the man's arms.
"You!"
"Shh." Feng Chi rested his head on Wen Jiu's right shoulder, his voice low and languid, yet his gaze toward the courtyard below was icy.
He asked gently, "Want to go down and take a look?"
Wen Jiu was delighted.
Anyone else might only have celebrated inwardly even if Li Peiqi really went bankrupt. After all, a starving camel was still bigger than a horse. What right did a minor celebrity have to laugh at him?
Besides, the man hadn't even gone bankrupt.
At most, they might make a show of remarking that good and evil eventually got their just rewards. Who would dare go looking for trouble at a time like this?
Well, Wen Jiu dared!
He was already full of pent-up frustration and fretting over having no one to take it out on, and that bald man had come right to his door.
Hearing the big shot ask, seemingly quite interested himself, Wen Jiu immediately grinned, cheerfully grabbed his wife's hand, and headed downstairs to enjoy the show.
After greeting the other guests, Li Peiqi turned to ask the director beside him, "Aren't we missing someone?"
Didn't that idiot Wen Jiu know to come downstairs and welcome me?
Where had he hidden himself this time?
At those words, Zhang Guozhong's first instinct was to slap him and demand, "Good lord, you want Boss Feng to come welcome you? How dare you?"
Have you forgotten your company, the one Feng has left teetering on the brink?
Still, the man before him was a big-money investor who had funded so many seasons. However wicked Zhang Guozhong might be, he didn't dare openly mock him.
He merely smiled and explained, "They're upstairs. The kid put his clothes on backward, so he went back to change."
Beside him, Lin Shuheng muttered, "What clothes take two hours to change?"
Zhang Guozhong shot him a glare. Lin Shuheng didn't dare say anything else and shrank back behind Li Peiqi.
Anyone who didn't know better would have thought the director had bullied him!
With his fiery temper, Zhang Guozhong thought resentfully, If this weren't live, just see if I didn't have the editors cut every last shot of you!
Shen Huaian couldn't resist rolling his eyes either and walked over to stand beside Yu Qing and his husband.
Damn green tea.
Seeing everyone avoid him like the plague, Lin Shuheng grew so aggrieved that his eyes reddened, making a pitiable sight.
Normally, Li Peiqi would already have pulled him into his arms to soothe him. Right now, though, his mind was full of Wen Jiu spending two hours upstairs with that man. Irritated and restless, he hadn't noticed him at all.
Unable to swallow his anger, Lin Shuheng could only ask plaintively himself, "Why are you avoiding me?"
Shen Huaian idly kicked a pebble at his feet and answered offhandedly, "I have a phobia of dumbasses."
"Pfft!"
Yu Qing couldn't hold back a laugh. Shen Yu tightened his grip on his hand and tucked it into his pocket.
Lin Shuheng: ...