"Su Zhou? Just who the hell are you?"
Tony finally lowered the flamethrower in his hands. His instincts told him Su Zhou wasn't a bad guy.
Actually, it wasn't that he didn't want to keep it raised, but that this handmade suit of armor
could only operate for so long at best. Now, not only could the armor no longer protect Tony,
it had instead become a steel prison, trapping Tony firmly inside.
Tony: (⌒_⌒;)
"Uh... if you don't mind? Could you help get me out of this thing?"
Su Zhou shrugged and worked with Yinsen, who had been hiding behind Tony the whole time,
to remove Tony's crude armor. When Tony regained his freedom,
Su Zhou curiously tapped the miniature reactor in Tony's chest and said:
"What's this thing you've got here? A bomb the Ten Rings implanted in you?
Need me to remove it? I'm great at defusing bombs!"
Tony frowned. The joy of regaining his freedom vanished in an instant.
Yes, his life was in danger at any moment. Those fragments left inside his body could kill him at any time.
How was that any different from carrying a bomb around?
"It's not a bomb. It's... a medical device."
Tony touched the reactor, his voice low, and a sense of melancholy welled up within him.
But Su Zhou's attention clearly wasn't on that. He pulled a notebook out of nowhere.
"If it's a medical device, do you have a permit to use it?
And since it's an imported medical device, you'll need customs documentation and to pay any outstanding taxes.
Also, who performed your surgery? Do they have a medical license?"
Ignoring the question marks practically written all over their faces, Su Zhou looked at Yinsen beside him.
"Sir, you wouldn't happen to be the one who operated on Tony, would you?
Would you mind showing me your medical license?"
Tony: (.ŏ_ŏ)
Yinsen: ゛('◇')?
Was there something seriously wrong with this guy?
At a time like this, he was worried about that?
Seeing the two of them standing there as though their systems had crashed, Su Zhou felt deeply annoyed!
I worked my ass off for all this time, and never mind not getting a single thank-you,
now they won't even cooperate with my investigation? One look tells me you're both criminals!
"Since you two refuse to cooperate with the investigation, don't blame me for following procedure!"
Su Zhou pulled out his M9 and pointed it at the two still-bewildered men, then took two pairs of handcuffs from his pocket.
"Hands on your heads and squat down!"
When Rhodey and Coulson arrived at the scene by helicopter, all they saw was Su Zhou scribbling in a notebook,
and two asses bent over the hood of an off-road vehicle, their owners' hands cuffed behind their backs!
Meanwhile, the Ten Rings base had already become a sea of flames.
Explosions still rang out from time to time, and the rising black smoke was clearly visible even from several kilometers away!
Before the helicopter had even settled, Rhodey and Coulson hurriedly jumped out.
"Su Zhou, where's Tony..."
"Reporting, sir!"
Su Zhou snapped a salute to Coulson, interrupting him,
and pointed at the two asses bent over the hood as he said loudly:
"The rescue mission was a success. Tony Stark is lying over that hood.
While I was at it, I also arrested a quack practicing medicine without a license and a rich guy attempting tax evasion!"
Coulson and Rhodey followed Su Zhou's finger and realized one of those two asses looked very familiar.
Who else could it be but Tony?!
"Tony?! How did you end up in handcuffs? Who did this?!"
Rhodey strode over to Tony and discovered that he had already lost consciousness.
His lips were parched, he looked dehydrated, and he seemed about to die!
"You little punk, you'd better unlock those cuffs right now if you know what's good for you.
If anything happens to Tony, I won't let you off!"
"Sir, are you requesting that I remove this suspect's handcuffs? Without orders from my superior..."
Su Zhou still looked utterly businesslike, but before he could finish,
Coulson clapped a hand over his mouth, fished the handcuff key off him, and tossed it to Rhodey.
Then he pulled Su Zhou aside and lowered his voice, speaking with some exasperation:
"Did three months of wind and sand blow your brains out? We're here to rescue people,
not to arrest suspects! What did you handcuff the hostage for?"
"A kidnapping victim can also be a criminal suspect. There's no contradiction!
I was merely fulfilling my duty as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent! Sir!"
Su Zhou looked strictly by-the-book, as though no one could sway him.
It gave Coulson a headache. He could only keep his voice low and continue trying to talk some sense into Su Zhou.
"He's a famous playboy and the country's biggest arms dealer.
He has the ear of not just senators from every state, but even the president.
Even if you arrest him, he might walk out of the police station ten minutes later!"
"Oh, now I get it!"
Su Zhou nodded earnestly. The United States had its own particular national circumstances.
Not only did capitalists not have to hang from lampposts, they could even manipulate politics.
Without any unnecessary movements, he grabbed the assault rifle slung over his back!
"Capitalists and politicians are in cahoots. Only violence can give them the punishment they deserve.
I'll do as you instructed and shoot them!"
Coulson: (´ﾟωﾟ)?
Was that what I fucking meant?
You really lived up to being Asian. You had a real talent for reading comprehension!
"Get back here!"
Coulson dragged Su Zhou back in a chokehold and stripped him of his weapons.
"Even if you can't tolerate the slightest wrongdoing, you still need to learn to respect your superiors!"
"Before I came to Afghanistan, I was already investigating your superior, Nick Fury.
He's been moving large amounts of S.H.I.E.L.D. funds around, and you, my esteemed superior,
have shown signs of involvement as well. I just haven't found any concrete evidence.
And now, I'm going back home! You two had better cover your asses!"
Su Zhou took off his tactical vest as well and stuffed it into Coulson's arms,
then shot the innocent balding man a vicious glare before turning and boarding the helicopter.
Coulson: (눈_눈)
There was an old saying in the ancient East: inviting a god was easy, sending one away was hard!
If he'd known Su Zhou was so perceptive, he should have kept him locked in solitary forever!
Of course Coulson knew about the misappropriation of funds. Without approval from the higher-ups, Director Fury
had privately used S.H.I.E.L.D. funds to begin building a Helicarrier. But before the thing was even built,
some hotheaded rookie so righteous it bordered on sinister had discovered it!
At that thought, Coulson called Nick Fury.
"Director, it looks like you're in big trouble! Su Zhou is coming home!"