"She isn't sixty yet, is she? She's still got her charms!
You should know, thirty years ago, she was the greatest beauty in S.H.I.E.L.D.!"
Nick Fury had absolutely no idea where he had gone wrong and looked thoroughly pleased with himself.
Su Zhou: (〝▼皿▼)
Next time I slap you, I won't hold back!
You big black guy look pretty thick-skinned! You should be able to take it!
"Don't go imposing your tastes on me again, thanks."
Su Zhou shot Nick Fury, whose emotional intelligence was clearly lacking, an irritated glance, then pulled Coulson over.
"I'm going to deliver something to Tony. If you have any questions, ask this receding hairline."
Drawing a casual circle in the air, Su Zhou left Nick Fury's bedroom.
When the portal's sparks vanished, leaving just two people in the bedroom,
the atmosphere suddenly grew suggestive. Coulson and his injured superior stared at each other.
Neither wanted to speak first, but Coulson had navigated the treacherous waters of bureaucracy for so many years, after all.
Knowing he needed to give his superior a way out at a time like this, he chose to speak first.
"Director, it isn't light out yet. How about I keep you company while you sleep a little longer?"
"Get out!"
Su Zhou took a portal back to his apartment, then went downstairs and found a black van in the apartment building.
He turned on the car stereo and set off for Stark Industries. Without breaking any traffic laws,
he ran straight into the morning rush hour...
Su Zhou was gritting his teeth in frustration. Other people became superheroes and went soaring around everywhere.
Even members of the old guard like Black Widow and Captain America had supercars to drive. He was a mage, no less,
a big shot with portals, Kamar-Taj's designated heir, the future Sorcerer Supreme.
Yet here he was, getting stuck in traffic just trying to drive somewhere. Where was the justice in that?!
Driving the van as it crawled along like a snail, Su Zhou parked outside Stark Industries, seething with resentment.
Wearing sunglasses and an expression that warned everyone to keep their distance, Su Zhou met no opposition and went straight to Tony's gym.
He saw Tony sparring with his bodyguard, Happy, the two of them sweating profusely in the boxing ring.
Pepper Potts and a beautiful woman he had never seen before sat watching nearby, preparing drinks for Tony.
Under Su Zhou's influence, even in the final stage of his life,
Tony still maintained a disciplined lifestyle instead of giving up on himself as he had in the original plot.
Because he knew that once he started letting himself go,
that lunatic shareholder of his company would definitely come knocking and reward him with a shiny pair of silver bracelets!
Bam!
Tony landed a heavy punch on Happy's protected face. After knocking Happy back, he spotted the scowling Su Zhou.
"Well, if it isn't our major shareholder, Su! What brings you to the office today?"
"I'm here to save your life."
Su Zhou tossed the van keys in his hand to Tony, then took a drink from Pepper Potts.
He drained the glass in one go and took a look at Tony with [Super Vision].
He found that Tony really was doing pretty well at the moment. His palladium poisoning was extremely severe.
He should have another half a month to live!
Hampered by his boxing gloves, Tony fumbled two or three times before catching the keys Su Zhou had tossed him.
He pulled off his gloves with his teeth, then climbed out of the boxing ring with the keys.
"What's wrong? Are some more terrorists coming after me?
You know I'm Iron Man. Ordinary terrorists are no match for me!"
Su Zhou curled his lip and tapped the reactor in Tony's chest.
"Palladium poisoning. If you're lucky, you should have another half a month to live!"
"Tony! You're dying?!"
Pepper Potts was the first to react. Despite wearing high heels, she moved as easily as if she were on level ground.
She hurried over to Tony and ran her hands all over him.
Tony actually blushed. With so many people watching, Pepper Potts's actions were a little intimate.
"Uh, I didn't mean to hide it from you. You know, I've gotten hold of some revolutionary technology.
It should take less than half a month to fix my problem. I'm not going to die."
Tony explained quietly to Pepper Potts, but halfway through, he started whispering sweet nothings. It was rather hard to listen to.
Su Zhou tipped his chin at the unidentified woman standing nearby, signaling for her to refill his drink.
Su Zhou: (○'ω'○)
So this world's Black Widow really does have Scarlett's face. I'd recognize you even walking down the street.
Too bad that basketball superstar really doesn't exist in this world. Otherwise, I'd soak Black Widow in the sea.
Just selling seawater would make me richer than Tony!
Black Widow smiled and walked over to Su Zhou with the pitcher of juice.
Naturally, she recognized Su Zhou, this unconventional member of S.H.I.E.L.D. He had not been active for long,
but both Director Nick Fury and Secretary Alexander had high hopes for him.
He was upright and wouldn't tolerate even a speck of wrongdoing.
He was a strong fighter, a crack shot, and killed without blinking.
Most importantly, he was Asian!!!
That alone could win over most of those, well, groups. That was what showed how progressive American freedom was!
They believed he was the most likely to become another symbol after Captain America!
Looking at Black Widow Natasha before him, Su Zhou was filled with emotion as well.
Especially since Natasha wasn't wearing stockings under her skirt today, which sent Su Zhou's imagination running even wilder.
He couldn't help having those thoughts!
When he had used Justice Points for a draw yesterday, Black Widow's stockings really had appeared on his bed!
He just didn't know whether they belonged to this world's Black Widow or a Natasha from some other world.
Su Zhou tilted his head, brought his mouth close to Natasha's ear, and whispered,
"Beautiful Agent Natasha, I never imagined you'd really be this gorgeous!"
"You flatter me, esteemed Mr. Batman!"
Natasha covered her mouth and chuckled, exuding endless charm.
"I wonder if Mr. Batman is free tonight to come help investigate something at my house?"
"Investigate what?"
Su Zhou raised his glass and drank, trying to hide his wandering thoughts.
Natasha was an experienced agent too. Knowing the lethal power of her beauty, she continued.
"A thief broke into my home yesterday. Their methods were extraordinarily sophisticated. Not only did they leave no trace,
they only stole a pair of black stockings from my washing machine..."
Pfft-!
Su Zhou sprayed a mouthful of his drink straight at Natasha, who sidestepped out of the way.
Happy, however, was holding a pile of protective gear and didn't waste a drop, catching all of it with his face.
"Director Su, that was a little rude!"
Happy wiped haphazardly at his face and looked at Su Zhou resentfully.
But Su Zhou paid Happy no attention at all, because Natasha had quietly whispered something in his ear.
"I never thought Batman was so skilled~~"