Chapter 46

If he hadn't thought Bu'er might still be useful to his master, he would never have risked his life to save such a rotten bastard!

With that thought, Ying Yi summoned every last bit of his internal energy and hauled out Bu'er, who had nearly been killed by a palm strike from Lou Yun.

That immediately drew Lou Yun's attention to Ying Yi.

Why was there still a grasshopper alive?

Lou Yun's muddled mind could no longer distinguish friend from foe, only grasshoppers from rats. She had been trying to crush this rat to death, but grasshoppers unafraid of dying kept jumping out. Strangely, she didn't really want to kill these grasshoppers. Every time she was about to strike a fatal blow, her body inexplicably stopped itself.

But today, this grasshopper was far too annoying! He kept jumping in front of her when she had clearly already knocked him away.

With that thought, Lou Yun slowly advanced toward Ying Yi. Though her movements weren't fast, Ying Yi's heart thundered like a drum.

This was bad. He really was going to die at his master's hands today.

Ying Yi still wanted to struggle, but overusing his internal energy had left him without the strength. Meanwhile, Bu'er, seeing that things had gone wrong, had long since begun struggling to crawl away.

"Coward," Ying Yi cursed. Watching Lou Yun draw closer and closer, he sighed in resignation.

Forget it. His master had given him this life in the first place. There was no harm in giving it back.

Just as Ying Yi prepared to meet his death bravely, a voice like heavenly music reached his ears:

"Lou Yun!"

Chapter 46

Hearing Pei Qing's voice, the hidden guards understood for the first time what it meant to have tears of joy well up in their eyes. Truly, thank goodness the Imperial Preceptor had come.

One look at the ruined Crown Princess's residence and the people sprawled everywhere told Pei Qing all he needed to know. He flew forward and shielded Ying Yi.

"Your Highness."

At the sight of that slender yet utterly reassuring figure before him, Ying Yi fainted without a care. For no reason they could explain, they simply felt that Pei Qing could restrain Lou Yun.

Beside him, Ying Liu watched him faint instantly, dumbfounded, then resigned himself to dragging his own agonized body over to pull Ying Yi aside, away from the battlefield.

A kitten? Lou Yun tilted her head, seemingly unable to understand why a kitten had appeared in such chaotic surroundings.

And the kitten's fur was so smooth that one glance told her he had an owner. She frowned unhappily. Could she not lure him away, then?

But now that she had spotted him, he couldn't blame her for taking him by force.

Pei Qing took his stance, intending to fight Lou Yun as he had before, only to see the woman extend a hand toward him.

"Will you come with me? If you come with me, I won't grab you."

Hmm?

Even more shocked than Pei Qing were the hidden guards behind him, who had been beaten so badly they couldn't stand: !? Was this reasonable? Was this normal? Was this right?

Placing his hand in her open palm, Pei Qing took another

step closer. "I will."

Lou Yun's lips curved in satisfaction, but the instant the young man put his hand in hers, she could no longer contain her killing intent and hastily retreated.

It wouldn't do to hurt the kitten.

"Lou Yun! Lou Fangyi!" As one advanced and the other retreated, Pei Qing caught the woman's wrist and asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"

Lou Yun gritted her teeth, forced down the urge to kill, and roared, "Stay away from me."

What was wrong with this cat? Was he stupid? Couldn't he see how dangerous she was right now? Yet he kept coming closer.

"You were the one who said you wanted me first." Hurt spilled from the young man's throat, carrying an almost inaudible trace of resentment and reproach.

Reaching out to embrace Lou Yun, the young man rested his head on her shoulder. "Lou Fangyi, tell me where it hurts."

Lou Yun's attempt to lift Pei Qing away froze, and a faint trace of clarity appeared in her eyes.

Where did it hurt? No one had ever asked her that while she was in this state. So her uncontrollable urge to destroy and kill was because she was hurting?

"What are you suppressing? Hmm?" The young man guided her little by little, his voice carrying a bewitching quality. Even if Lou Yun were a demon guilty of every evil, it would have been hard to resist such a temptation reaching straight into her heart.

Though he hadn't come to see Lou Yun these past days, it wasn't as though he hadn't kept her in mind at all. After learning that Lou Yun might be under a curse, he had begun gathering books on curses in great quantities. Once he discovered that their mechanism targeted the mind, he understood that the trigger most likely had to do with the seven emotions and six desires.

He had deliberately compared the two episodes Lou Yun had suffered before him and found that both involved him inadvertently touching on something. Looking at it from Lou Yun's perspective, it was possible that something he had done had then triggered some emotion in her.

Suppressing what? Lou Yun didn't understand Pei Qing's question. She had lived freely and recklessly in both her lives. How could she possibly be suppressing anything?

Lou Yun thought this disdainfully, but another voice rang out in her heart:

Really? Had you truly lived so freely and unrestrainedly? Had you never suppressed anything? Never concealed even a single emotion?

Your Highness, those in power must never let joy or anger show on their faces.

An imposing woman's voice echoed through her mind. Never let joy or anger show? Yes, she remembered now.

In her previous life, her imperial mother had banished her to the frontier to fend for herself. If she hadn't truly been blessed with a strong body, she could never have returned carrying an enemy's head after being thrown onto the battlefield like a small child.

After returning to the capital, she had specifically sought out a teacher to instruct her in the way of emperors so she could contend with her elder imperial sisters. She knew this person might be a spy for her imperial mother or another princess, but at the time she had possessed nothing but martial strength and knew nothing beyond fighting. That was far from enough to become a sovereign.

And so, knowing full well that a sea of fire lay before her, she had jumped in anyway. That was why her teacher's eventual betrayal hadn't surprised her in the slightest. When she had personally driven her sword through that person's heart, those words-"You will never escape my clutches in this lifetime!"-had finally received an explanation.

So... that was how it was. A low laugh rose from Lou Yun's throat. So that was how it was!

"Ha ha ha ha!"

Hearing that terrifying laughter, Bu'er shuddered and crawled outward considerably faster.

Killing her hadn't been enough. She had to spend life after life suppressing herself, unable to take what she wanted or love whom she wanted. The moment desire stirred, she had to endure the heart-piercing agony of losing her reason.

Lou Yun looked at the room she had wrecked beyond recognition and laughed self-mockingly. If she had truly come to love something, or someone, in her previous life, perhaps she really would have destroyed them with her own hands.

But...

Lou Yun stroked Pei Qing's face. With him here, she probably wouldn't.

Pei Qing had the ability to restrain her.

"Pei Qing," Lou Yun called softly.

Hearing Lou Yun finally say his name, the Imperial Preceptor nearly wept with joy. He raised his head and answered repeatedly, "I'm here, I'm here. Have you regained your reason?"

Looking at the young man who had burst into tears, Lou Yun slowly shook her head. "I haven't broken free completely yet. Will you help me?"

She wiped away the young man's tears. He was crying again.

"Yes. How can I help? How can I help?" the young man asked twice in succession.

A faint smile appeared on Lou Yun's face, and she beckoned him closer. "Come, a little closer. I'll tell you."

Pei Qing obediently brought his ear close to her.

"Take me to the bedroom first. There are chains hidden above the bed. You can tie me up with them for now."

When he heard that he had to tie Lou Yun up, the tears in the young man's eyes burst their banks completely. He shook his head wildly. He didn't want to, and he had no wish to bind Lou Yun. Why? Why did the person he loved have to endure something like this?

"Be good. It'll only be for a little while." One glance told Lou Yun what Pei Qing was thinking, and she soothed him gently. "This will be the last time. If we succeed today, the curse will never torment me again, hmm?"

"Mm." Supporting Lou Yun, Pei Qing flew toward the bedroom, silently making up his mind. This was the last time! He wouldn't let Lou Yun suffer like this again.

Crying, he tied her up as she instructed. The chains still looked very new, clearly having only recently been replaced. Then he recalled that Lou Yun had suffered an episode not long ago.

Why they were new went without saying.

"What do I do, Fangyi? Tell me, what should I do?"

Having bound Lou Yun to the bed, the young man knelt at its head and pleaded earnestly. Though he was the one doing the binding, he looked even more pitiful than she did as the one being bound.

Scarlet surged through her eyes again. Lou Yun bit down hard on the tip of her tongue to keep herself lucid and said, "Those in power must never let joy or anger show on their faces."

"What?"

"This might be the trigger for the curse. Whenever desire arises in me, I go mad."

Understanding what Lou Yun meant, Pei Qing suddenly lowered his head, pressed his forehead to the back of her hand, and wept softly. An episode would strike the moment desire arose. How could this be?

Humans were creatures that sought advantage and avoided harm. Once indulging a desire for the first time caused the body to lose control, the body would instinctively reject the source of that loss of control. In other words, Lou Yun had been suppressing her own desires ever since the first time she lost control.

Lou Yun hadn't noticed before, first because she had been in power for so long and had suppressed many of her feelings for so long that she could no longer distinguish them. Second, because people feared pain. Once they had suffered the first time, the body would quietly begin suppressing emotional upheaval before it could happen.

Watching the young man cry uncontrollably, Lou Yun felt a faint ache in her heart. Perhaps Pei Qing was the only person in this world who would be more distressed to hear of her suffering than if he were suffering himself.

"Pei Qing, tempt me. Stir up my desires, as strongly as possible. Help me let it all out, all right?"

"Yes, yes."

At this point, the young man would probably have agreed to anything Lou Yun said. But Lou Yun still had to explain the risks clearly.

"Don't agree so quickly. I'll lose my reason in a moment, and there's no telling what I'll do. If you feel anything is wrong, just..." Run.

Before Lou Yun could finish, the young man interrupted her. With a confidence that came from who knew where, Pei Qing declared, "You won't. Fangyi would never hurt me."

Last time, she had clearly gripped him by the neck until he could barely breathe. Where had this confidence of his come from now?

"Fangyi, what were you thinking the first time you felt desire for me?" Sitting back on his heels on the bed, Pei Qing gazed at Lou Yun gently as he asked.