"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..."
"Why... can't I... find you anymore?"
Reality, the Imperial Crystal Palace.
"Little one! Little one, look at me!"
Hands suddenly cupped Subaru's cheeks, forcing his bowed head up. Before his red-tinted vision was a beautiful woman's face. He failed to recognize Night Weeping at first because her expression was filled with grief.
Seeing himself reflected in her wavering eyes, Subaru finally understood why she had reacted that way.
"-Ah."
As Subaru knelt there, his face was a horrific sight. His left eyeball was blood-red from rupturing, and his right had fallen out of its socket, dangling by its bundle of nerves. Having failed to evade the bomb's blast at all, his eyeball had been forced out of his face.
It was just like crude special-effects makeup in a zombie movie.
"Hah."
As Subaru exhaled upon understanding his condition, the vision in his ruptured left eye began to waver. But Night Weeping's hands would not let him fall.
"Little one...!"
Her lips trembled as she stared at Subaru's face.
"-Fall in love with me. Right now, this instant!"
Yes, with an earnest gaze, she made that unreasonable demand. Fall in love with her, and right this instant, no less. How absurd.
Besides, he had no idea how exactly he was supposed to do that. Though he did not know, loving someone was not that simple. He thought Night Weeping was a good person, and a beautiful woman, too. But...
"Little one! If you just fall in love with me, these wounds..."
[The Soul Marriage Technique, one of the Empire's secret arts, operated primarily through the caster dividing their soul (Od) into countless portions and bestowing them unconditionally upon other people or objects (such as Scarlet Lapis Castle). Recipients gained ultrafast regeneration and greatly enhanced physical abilities. Maintaining the effects required unconditional mutual love.]
"Kakakaka, kah! Hey, hey, how can you say something so unreasonable? Honestly, girl. I don't really understand it, but love isn't something that just sprouts that easily, is it?"
"Shut up!"
Olbart interjected from behind, and Night Weeping shouted back, a dark shade entering her eyes. Watching that change from close up, Subaru kept drawing ragged breaths and slowly began preparing himself for the pain to come.
Louis was dead. He was in pieces, too. He did not want to cause anyone else trouble-
"Little one."
At her call, Subaru's consciousness rose a little. As though seizing that brief opening, Night Weeping brought her serious face closer.
"-"
Her lips pressed against his. A soft sensation touched his face, and he felt her breath at extremely close range. It took him some time to understand that she had kissed him.
And then-
"My lips don't come cheap. Let this..."
The kiss ended, and Night Weeping drew her face back without finishing her sentence. But even now, Subaru could clearly understand what would have followed.
She meant: let this make him fall in love with her. If Subaru fell in love with Night Weeping, things would change. That must have been the source of Night Weeping's power, or the reason for her strength. But-
"There's already a girl I love..."
Far beyond his entirely red field of vision, the face of the girl he loved appeared. Just thinking of her smile made his heart race.
That was why, whether as a knight or a hero, Subaru could not love Night Weeping. Because, no matter what, he could not lie about his own love-
"-Ah, things between men and women never go that smoothly."
Suddenly, with that dispirited remark, Subaru's field of vision shifted wildly.
"-"
Night Weeping's face, which had been right before him, vanished, replaced by the crimson sky. But the sky immediately vanished, too, and the whole world spun. Within that spinning world, he could see Night Weeping kneeling and Olbart standing before her. A girl lay beside Night Weeping, probably Louis. And between Night Weeping and Olbart, he also saw something that looked like a person.
"-Ah."
-It was a child's body missing everything above the neck, the body of the young Natsuki Subaru.
"Oh dear, killing children is depressing. Doesn't take much effort physically, though."
"Old man-!!"
With a grief-stricken cry, Night Weeping hurled herself at Olbart. He parried her head-on, their attacks clashed, and Scarlet Lapis Castle shook violently. Shaking, cracking, shattering, then the destruction spread. Once it spread, what would happen? Subaru had no way of knowing what came after that.
-He was dragged into a murky, dark space. There was nothing. He floated without hands or feet, unable to comprehend, without sky or ground, drifting, unable to sway, resist, savor, or even tremble. Such was that space.
It felt as though he had seen it countless times, yet also as though this was his first. As though it was slowly receding, yet also drawing endlessly closer. He even thought it might be an eternal night.
Within that space ruled by darkness, it sounded. Sobbing sounded. Someone's crying stirred his nonexistent chest.
"I love you."
Those were words of love. A voice professing love, begging for love, pleading for love, surrendering love, deeply loving love.
"I love you. I love you. I love you."
That repeated declaration of love should have been words imbued with all sorts of feelings. A whirlpool of emotions such as happiness, anger, sorrow, joy, and the like.
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."
Yet the love that all but buried this place, that filled this eternal night, held only one.
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you-"
All of those feelings, all of that swirling love, were filled with nothing but "sorrow."
Sorrow, heartache, grief, anguish, and misery made that love sob without end.
-The whimpering sobs would not stop. Sobs that made him want to die just from hearing them would not stop. Grieving for love, love meant sorrow, love was grief, love was anguish and misery. Love that loved deeply while sobbing, grieving over sorrow, finally joined together.
And that was-
"-Where are you?"
"I hear your companions in this castle are all pretty tough... but are they tougher than the folks from my village?"
"-You despicable wretch!"
The spinning red view changed in an instant, and urgent voices struck his eardrums. One belonged to an old man, the other to a woman-Subaru knew they were Olbart and Night Weeping, respectively. He knew that, but that was all he knew.
"Huh...?"
"Hah, aaaaaah!!"
After his stunned murmur came a heavy thud as Night Weeping stamped down hard enough to shatter the castle roof. At the same time, she swung the golden smoking pipe in her hand.
That broad sweep traced a horizontal arc, spreading smoke through the air above the Crystal Palace with astonishing speed and destructive power. Subaru knew why she did it and what would happen next. He knew, but before that knowledge could catch up with reality, it happened.
-The bombs struck by Night Weeping's smoke exploded, and the shock waves swallowed their surroundings.
"Gah-"
His whole body suffered the same impact as a minute earlier, and Subaru's vision turned blood-red. A bursting sound rang inside his head, followed by his vision turning red, so he immediately connected the two. What had burst with that sound was his eyeball. That was why everything before him was red. Then the reason the other side, the other half of his vision, went dark was-
"Ah, gya, gyaaaaaah-!!"
Clutching his face with both hands, Subaru screamed as pain and "understanding" battered him together.
"All that endless sniveling. Can't stand listening to children cry.-So noisy."
"Wait-!"
A woman's desperate voice and a hoarse voice that sounded careless and indifferent. After he heard them, something approached with a rustling sound. The person who held him from behind his head hugged Subaru tight. But merely hugging him could accomplish nothing. And so, pure red, scorching light swelled again and swallowed Subaru and the others. Once swallowed, the pain vanished, and then-
"I hear your companions in this castle are all pretty tough... but are they tougher than the folks from my village?"
"-You despicable wretch!"
In the blink of an eye, the exchange he had only just heard entered his ears again.
"Huh...?"
Everything suddenly cut off, and then the world immediately started over.
"This ish...!"
"Not right...!"
-It was not Natsuki Subaru's "Return by Death," but something else.
"I hear your companions in this castle are all pretty tough... but are they tougher than the folks from my village?"
"-You despicable wretch!"
He heard the same voices again. The old man's hoarse voice and the woman's voice brimming with anger. Then-
"-"
-Once again, after a series of explosions, red agony arrived.
It hurt, it was so red, so frightening, why, gone. (Nagatsuki repeated this a full eleven times here. It feels like he loves Subaru a little too much.)
"Aaaaaaaaah-!!"
He did not want to hear anything. He did not want to feel pain anymore. So frightening, so frightening, so frightening, so frightening. He opened his mouth and screamed until his voice was hoarse and his throat felt ready to tear. Because he did not want to see anything, he squeezed his eyes shut, held his head, and crouched down. Then, the next second-
Boom-!
The deafening explosion sent Subaru's child-sized body flying, and he tumbled to the ground. Sound receded, and pain and crimson were coming again. His soul shivered. But-
"-Huh?"
The pain did not come.
"Wh... y...?"
"Uu, au!"
Just as he spoke in a daze, a small body lunged toward him. It was Louis.
Louis took Subaru's hand and tried to help him stand. But his knees had no strength, and Subaru, unable even to give an answer to "why," could not stand. His throat merely spasmed, and in that instant, glad to be away from the red agony, tears welled up. Unable to hold them back, he crouched there and cried.
A black sphere drawn from a sleeve-a bomb-was thrown again, flying toward Subaru and Louis. Louis immediately moved in front of Subaru and tried to knock the bomb away, but she was too late. Red light exploded before Subaru's eyes again, and Louis, who had leaped forward, and Subaru were once more engulfed in the light and torn apart-
"I hear your companions in this castle are all pretty tough... but are they tougher than the folks from my village?"
"-You despicable wretch!"
At once, Subaru obeyed the fear welling up inside him, put an arm around Louis's shoulders, and took her hand. Then he pointed beneath his feet.
"Miss Night Weeping! Louis and I are going to disappear! Please do your best!"
He had dragged Night Weeping into this, only to abandon her and run. It was utterly awful of him. But as long as Subaru and Louis remained there, Night Weeping would fight to protect them, Olbart would exploit that opening, and it would end in death. To avoid that-
"-!"
His view switched in an instant, and Subaru and Louis moved inside the castle. This was the result of Louis activating "teleportation" at Subaru's signal. Descending from the half-destroyed castle keep, the two successfully escaped the battlefield overhead.
"Ugh...!"
As soon as he confirmed they had escaped, a churning sensation in his guts made him dizzy. For an instant, the red vision and pain flashed through him, but compared with those, his current suffering was practically paradise. Now Night Weeping no longer needed to protect them and could unleash her true strength-
"-! What happened!?"
The explosion that interrupted his thoughts triggered Subaru's newly formed trauma. Astonishing blasts rang out one after another, their force passing through the roof and shaking the entire castle. Subaru's legs involuntarily weakened, and he nearly fell, but he forced himself to stay upright and hurriedly looked at the ceiling. Though he could not see, those explosions must have been Olbart's work, too. He had already scattered so many bombs. Just how many did he have on him?
"-Oh. Found you, found you."
"Huh?"
A face passing through the ceiling met Subaru's stunned gaze. Making eye contact with Subaru, Olbart's short, stout body lightly descended. Subaru instinctively sensed that he had used the technique with which he had evaded the rooftop tidal wave and the tornado of rubble.
"Wh-why...?"
"Disappearing on me all of a sudden. Being looked down on by children is downright embarrassing. A failure, a failure."
"Uu-!"
The monstrous old man gave a malicious smile, and Louis immediately kicked at him with her slender leg.
"Whoops."
But he dealt with it easily, and a kunai instantly severed Louis's leg. Cut off at the calf, it flew away, scattering blood.
"Ah, uuuuuu-!"
"Uwa, waaaaaah!!"
Louis screamed at the loss of her leg, and Subaru hastily reached out to catch her. But he could not even put his arms around her, let alone hold her tight. Before he could touch her, Louis's scream stopped. The cause was the kunai piercing the very center of her throat. Then-
"Ghk."
The instant a faint sound reached his ears, a heat beyond screaming seared his throat. Blood gurgled up and blocked it, leaving him unable to speak or breathe.
"I hear your companions in this castle are all pretty tough... but are they tougher than the folks from my village?"
"-You despicable wretch!"
-The instant he heard that utterly familiar exchange, he had to cover his ears, close his eyes, and scream. That was the rule for survival Subaru had found after repeating those ten despairing seconds dozens of times.
But he had yet to find the formula for moving forward.
This was not "Return by Death." What surrounded and entangled Natsuki Subaru was not something like "Return by Death."
He had never imagined before that "Return by Death" was so merciful. But compared with the endlessly repeating sense of loss within these ten seconds, it truly was far too merciful.
-What was happening now utterly lacked love, so much so that it made him feel "Return by Death" contained love.
If I'd only let Night Weeping go, if I'd left Night Weeping behind beforehand, if I hadn't split up with Vincent and the others, if I hadn't revealed Louis's identity, Al, Medium, if I hadn't shrunk, if I were my original self, Priscilla, Rem, Rem, Rem, Rem-
"Rem..."
He had to take Rem home, yet he was dying here. Left in a world where he could not escape death, he would keep dying like this, dying endlessly. If all he could do was die over and over, then what could Subaru, what could Natsuki Subaru do?
Countless "deaths," pain, and the helplessness clinging to Natsuki Subaru. On top of that, both his mind and body were on the verge of collapse, and-
"Uu, au."
A little girl gently took his hand, and her warmth reached him. Subaru held his breath. That warmth suddenly gave Subaru an idea. Though Natsuki Subaru alone could do nothing.
"-What would everyone else do?"
Subaru died countless more times. Each time, he experienced pain and suffering over and over, then died. Not once did it go well.
Each time, he made Night Weeping grieve, let Louis die first, and then died himself.
-But beyond those ten despairing seconds, there was more than ten seconds' worth of time. He would use all of it. After using all of it, even if he would certainly die, he still reached the eleventh second beyond those ten seconds of despair, and thought desperately.
-What would everyone else do?
(Nagatsuki listed the names of everyone Subaru knew here as though rattling off a menu.)
"I hear your companions in this castle are all pretty tough... but are they tougher than the folks from my village?"
"-You despicable wretch!"
He heard the same voices again. In that instant, Subaru covered his ears, closed his eyes, and opened his mouth to endure the explosion. The blast and impact struck his entire body, and, unable to withstand them, he fell onto his backside.
"Uu, au!"
A small body immediately cried out and leaped toward him. He caught her and hugged her back as though to reassure her, thinking even during that time.
-What would everyone else do?
How about imitating companions who wouldn't give up easily, who would keep trying until the last second? Using everything they had, struggling past those ten seconds of despair, past eleven seconds, and beyond-how about imitating everyone who would do that? Subaru felt the approach of a threat his naked eyes could not catch through his skin, raised a finger, and pointed straight ahead-at Olbart.
What would everyone else do? He desperately tried to imagine how everyone would feel, thought, and then found an answer. No matter how many times he died, no matter how helplessness tormented and crushed him until he could do nothing, no matter how battered Subaru became, everyone would surely still believe in him.
Even if he hurt, suffered, and felt afraid, even if he cried, screamed, and wet himself, even if he disgraced himself and died miserably, everyone would still believe in him. He loved them all.
On the roof of Scarlet Lapis Castle, he had died countless times. Through those despairing ten seconds and the eleventh second that followed, to reach the time beyond them, the winner of this contest was-
-The winner is always you, Master! (Shaula)
"Louis-!!"
He pointed at Olbart and shouted the little girl's name, calling to the warmth at the other end of his joined hand. Then he gripped her hand hard-
Instantly, the world changed.
"-What the!?"
The person who should have been killed by his shuriken vanished, and Olbart cried out in astonishment. This was a rule-breaking trick beyond his understanding, something even the cautious, vigilant Shinobi could not detect. He would be able to deal with it a second time, so only the first attempt could successfully change their positions. It was also the only way to catch him off guard. Then Subaru, who had changed positions through Louis's ability-
"Aaaaaah-!!"
"Whoa!?"
He abruptly grabbed the back of Olbart's head right in front of him. He clung to the small old man with all his strength, hanging on for dear life as though he meant to bite into his white hair. Even Olbart had not anticipated teleportation, so he had no chance to react and was caught outright. There was little difference in their heights, so the child Subaru threw all his strength into grappling with the old man.
Naturally, Olbart tried to pull him off, while Yorna Mishigure, who had been stunned by the sudden turn of events, also moved to rush over.
"Whoa! Wh-what, what's all this! You little brat!?"
"Child! Get away at once! Elder Olbart..."
Olbart reached up and grabbed Subaru's hair, trying to forcibly pull him down. Even though she wanted to stop him, Night Weeping feared involving the child and could not act immediately. Ignoring both their reactions, Subaru clung desperately to the old man and opened his mouth-
"-I won!!"
He shouted those words.
"-What?"
At once, the force trying to pull Subaru off weakened. Night Weeping, too, widened her eyes in surprise, not having expected Subaru to say anything like that. Without so much as looking at the adults' reactions, Subaru refused to let go of the old man and clung even harder.
"I won... I won! You lost, Mr. Olbart! Right!?"
"Now, what are you going on about...?"
"You said once was enough!"
"Hm?"
As the force pulling at him weakened, Subaru finally raised his head and declared to the white-haired back of the head before him.
Tears and snot spilled out amid his excitement and pounding heart. He sucked both back in and worked his throat.
"T-tag! In hide-and-seek, you have to find someone three times... but in tag, you only have to catch them once... so-"
"-"
"So! I won! I caught you! I won the game! Both you, Mr. Olbart, and you, Miss Night Weeping, lost to me! I won...!"
Even as he said it, he knew it was a forced, unreasonable argument. To begin with, between tag and hide-and-seek, Subaru's group had chosen hide-and-seek. Suddenly going back on that now and changing it to tag was far too underhanded. But underhanded or not, he truly could not think of another way. Besides-
"You were the one who broke the rules first, Mr. Olbart..."
"-"
"S-so, I, I w-won...!"
He could not hold back the tears and snot spilling out endlessly, leaving his speech broken and halting. Even so, Subaru only tightened his grip, refusing to let go of this underhanded victory. He had caught Olbart, so he had won at tag. A win was a win.
"-Elder Olbart, what do you say?"
Suddenly, Night Weeping put that question to the silent Olbart. Looking over, he saw that she had relit her pipe, producing fresh wisps of smoke. The sight of her drawing smoke into her lungs was as beautiful as it had been before the battle.
As before, depending on the old man's answer, she would still protect Subaru and the others despite barely knowing them, and would likely not begrudge continuing the fight. And Olbart's troubles did not end there.
"Uau! Aah~ uu~!"
"That hurts, y'know."
As Subaru clung to him, Louis, who had teleported along with him, roughly stomped on his feet. Sharing Subaru's hostility, she glared fiercely at Olbart.
Thus subjected to Subaru's demands, Night Weeping's question, and Louis's glare, Olbart remained silent for a while before roughly scratching his head. Then-
"I'm the one who said you can't call off a game once it's started. Never thought you'd abuse it like this."
"-Is that your answer, elder?"
Night Weeping asked calmly, lowering her gaze along with him. Nothing happened. Olbart simply sat cross-legged on the spot. With Subaru still clinging to his back, he bared his teeth in a grin.
"Kakakaka, ka! Anyone could see I've lost. Once I start saying it has nothing to do with winning or losing, I'm no longer a ninja, just a beast."
With that, Olbart slapped his knees, looked up at the sky, and shouted:
"I lost, I lost!"
Atop the beautiful castle being slowly restored beneath the blue sky, beyond those despairing ten seconds, beyond the eleventh, another second passed, then another, as time steadily and surely ticked onward-
"I wooon...!"
Sniffling and sobbing, Subaru still insisted on it. Listening to him as he clung to his back, Olbart laughed.
"Kakakaka, ka! Hearing it that many times is enough to make me angry.-You're so noisy."
Then he lightly tapped Subaru's forehead.
"Uau~"
Louis murmured, her hair disheveled, as she hugged the weeping Subaru's arm.
Throughout those countless stretches of ten seconds, this little girl had shared his fate every time and lost her life. Without her, he could never have achieved this forced victory.
"I... really don't understand you."
"Ah, uu~"
"But without you, I couldn't have... done it... Thank you."
Subaru's heart was already a tangled mess. He knew very well what Louis had done, and what ill-fated history lay between them.
But even knowing all that, he still felt gratitude toward her. And gratitude was not the only feeling welling up.
"...Louis?"
The collapse came suddenly. At Subaru's broken words of thanks, tears welled in her large, round eyes and promptly slid down her cheeks. As though she did not know how to stop them, tears streamed down Louis's face.
"Louis, you're c-crying..."
"Uu~ uu~!"
Without even wiping her tears, Louis simply hugged Subaru's arm and shook her head. She looked as though she feared Subaru would disappear while she wiped them away.
"Wipe your face, you idiot, idiot..."
Seeing her cry like that, Subaru, whose surging emotions had just begun to settle, became precarious again. He had already shed more tears and choked up more times than he could count. Just as he thought he and Louis might keep crying without ever stopping-
"-You two worked so hard."
"Ah..."
"You may cry for as long as you like. As mistress of the Demon City, I permit it."
Slender arms reached from behind and gently embraced them. He already knew what sort of person the owner of that voice was. So he also knew that those words and that warmth were kindness without ulterior motives. Because he knew he would be allowed to surrender everything.
"Uu, guh... ah, uu, aaaaah."
"Uau... uau! Ua, uu, uau...!"
"There, there... Crying children have the privilege of nestling against an adult's chest. If mine will do, then cry it as wet as you please."
Subaru raised his head, still shedding tears, and so did Louis, who clung to him.
Night Weeping gently embraced them and stroked their small backs. This moment following the battle's outcome unfolded atop Scarlet Lapis Castle's keep-
"Well, with all of you leaving me out, I don't know what sort of face I'm supposed to make."
"Be quiet."
The mistress of the Demon City cut off the eccentric old man's tactless interruption.
"Hey, hey, hold on, hold on, little brat. Didn't you come to get turned back? Or have you taken a liking to how you are now? Doesn't matter to me either way."
"Ah, sorry, no, no. I do want to turn back. I'll turn back. Well, I've mostly gotten used to being like this, but the clothes really are a pain, so let's turn me back first."
At Olbart's call, Subaru turned on the roof tiles. Though he had only been shrunk for a few hours, this body had truly experienced far more deaths than all those he had accumulated before.
Honestly, he found it ominous, and wanted to return to normal as soon as possible. His only fear was that his current thoughts might suddenly do a complete about-face-
"It's okay, Louis. This time, I'll face you properly."
"Uau... au."
At Subaru's words, Louis first lowered her head, then nodded.
Subaru pushed her forehead with his finger, nudging her body toward Night Weeping. Supporting Louis as she leaned back against her, Night Weeping said:
"Child, about what Elder Olbart is going to do..."
"Yeah, I still can't trust him completely, but at least I want to believe he's barely got enough humanity left to follow the rules of a game."
"Heeey-I can hear you."
"I said it because I knew you could."
Still, he did not understand the mechanism by which interference with the Od affected the body's size. Even so, these few hours spent in a shrunken body felt like his most desperate time since coming to the Empire.
If anything, his strongest suspicion was that these desperate situations in the Empire had gone on far too long.
Those despairing ten seconds had been among the very worst, even beyond the Empire-
"Come to think of it..."
He suddenly remembered something he had deliberately avoided thinking about. In those despairing ten seconds, the deaths and cycles that evoked an endless hell were distinctly different from the Return by Death Subaru knew.
What exactly had brought that about? And what had happened to the Authority of Return by Death dwelling within Subaru-?
"-Found you."