The mountaintop.
The Princess Gale film crew was hiding on the mountaintop, filming the battlefield.
The director was beside himself with excitement. "A gift from the god of cinema! Camera one, stay on Princess Gale and Sandayu! Quick, quick, quick! Over there!"
"Yes!!"
"Yes!!"
The entire crew had caught the director's enthusiasm. More than a dozen cameras recorded every corner of the battlefield, and even the biting wind could not shake their resolve.
Meanwhile, on the sea far from the Land of Snow.
The Titanic.
Hongshi: "Yo, boys! Bleeergh!!!!"
Gato: "Stop the ship, quick!"
Jack: "Boss, that armor looks better on you than it does on me!"
Gato: "Boss, how's the pressure?"
The underlings: "Why's the boss wearing a white mustache? And where did that huge blade come from?"
Hongshi stood bare-chested, draped in a white cloak with a red lining, with two sections of white mustache of unknown origin hanging from his face.
Hongshi fought back his nausea. "Gurararara! Boys, I'm the strongest man in the world!"
The underlings: "The boss is the strongest! The boss is the strongest! The boss is going to puke again! Quick, get another basin! Let him lie in it."
Captain Jack was pounding Hongshi's thighs as he lay in a bathtub, while Gato kneaded his shoulders beside him. "Mm, not bad, not bad. You've practiced this technique, haven't you?"
Jack: "I learned it just for you!"
Gato: "Of course. I even found a teacher."
The underlings: "(°ー°〃)... Boss, those five missing men on our ship were... by these two... Ugh, their heads were kneaded to pieces."
Hongshi: "Good, good, good. You've put some thought into this. Gato, this business in the Land of Snow is an important part of our grand plan."
Gato nodded. "I've also been secretly funding and encouraging the rebel army in the Land of Snow. Besides, the Land of Snow is a small country. It'll be easy to control."
Hongshi asked, "How are things with Hieimon?"
Gato said, "Hieimon has some very unique insights into ninja tool manufacturing. He's an inventive genius. I'd like him to stay here and continue his research. It'll be a great help to our future plans."
"Mm... In that case, just let him stay here. Umm, I'm getting a little hungry..."
Jack glared at the underlings. "Where's the boss's roast suckling pig!"
The underlings: "Where's the boss's roast suckling pig!"
"Coming, coming!"
Zori and Waraji came over carrying a roast wild boar weighing a hundred jin. "Boss, this is a snow boar unique to the Land of Snow. It smells amazing! Have a taste!"
"Zabuza, cut off the head for me."
Jack abruptly stood up and drew the Kubikiribōchō, its four Chakra Furnaces blazing with energy. "You got it. Oni Giri: Hundred Consecutive Slashes!"
Clang, clang, clang, clang!
In barely ten seconds, Jack had delivered nearly a hundred slashes, but every single one struck the top of Hongshi's head. Winds raged and sparks flew, and the Kubikiribōchō kept cracking, yet there was still not a single wound on Hongshi's head.
Gato: "Hey!! You're cutting the wrong thing!!"
"Captain! You're cutting the wrong thing!!!"
Jack stopped attacking. "Hm? What did you say?"
Hongshi: "(°ー°〃), I told you to cut off the pig's head, not mine."
Jack: "(͡°͜ʖ͡°)✧ Oh, sorry. I might've gotten it wrong."
Hongshi: "Jack, have you ever been kicked by a nuclear bomb?"
Jack: "???"
"Nuclear Release: Nuclear Bomb Kick!!!!"
The Chakra Armor on Hongshi's body lit up, and flames engulfed his right leg. By the time Jack reacted, he had become a shooting star flying into the distance...
Gato: "Boss, will Jack be all right?"
Hongshi smiled. "He'll be fine."
With that, he tore off a pig's leg and began gnawing on it. "Munch, munch. Delicious, delicious! Oh, how are those children doing?"
As he spoke, he pulled a salt shaker from inside his clothes and sprinkled some over the pig's leg.
Lord God: "Do you really pay this much attention to the details of life?"
Hongshi: "Of course. I bring my own salt-my personal seasoning endorsement."
Lord God: "...That pun caught me completely off guard."
Gato smiled. "Boss, eat slowly... The children your Shadow Clones brought over these past two months have recovered now, and they're very willing to join us."
With that, he waved a hand, and thirteen children emerged from below deck one after another. Boys and girls alike wore the same clothes as Yuhan. Clearly delighted to see Hongshi, they all gathered around him.
"Hongshi-kun!" After acquiring Orochimaru's memories, Hongshi had sent large numbers of Shadow Clones into Orochimaru's bases, rescuing many test subjects and retrieving many experimental results, then transporting them to Gato's secret base. These thirteen children had been imprisoned since childhood and did not even have names.
They were all test subjects whom Orochimaru had imprisoned for human experimentation because of their special talents. Where they had come from was already unknown.
So Hongshi gave the thirteen of them thirteen names:
Genryūsai, Suì-Fēng, Gin Ichimaru, Retsu, Sōsuke, Byakuya, Sajin, Kyōraku, Kaname Tōsen, Tōshirō, Kenpachi, Mayuri, Ukitake...
Lord God: "Bro, is it really okay to copy this blatantly..."
Hongshi: "(͡°͜ʖ͡°)✧ Then I'll change them. Let's go with Hōryūsai, Zenhō, Kin Ichimaru, Sōretsu, Sōsuke, Kokuya, Ujin, Kyōai, Kaname Seisen, Kashirō, Tōhachi, Kendon, and Chinchiku."
Lord God: "(°ー°〃) I've never fucking seen anyone so shameless..."
Hongshi nodded. "Mm... They're all children from Orochimaru's experimental bases, and they have special talents. Once things here are over, you and Hieimon should stay here for the time being. I'll leave twenty Shadow Clones to give these children one-on-one training. Umm, let's call them the Gotei 13."
Lord God: "???"
Hongshi: "No good? Then let's call them the Thirteen Nuclear Guardian Pillars. Let's start them off with a small, achievable goal: beating the crap out of Madara Uchiha. Ah, so much work to do."
Madara: "???"
Gato: "Boss, what are you muttering to yourself about? Ahem, but if Hieimon doesn't go back, won't Konoha get suspicious?"
Hongshi chuckled. "They won't. Just say he died in battle."
Gato: "Boss, look!"
A huge firework rose from the distant land and burst in the sky in the shape of a snowflake.
Hongshi: "The fighting's started over there. It's time I went over, too."
Gato: "Safe travels, boss."
Hongshi vaulted off the ship and stepped onto the sea.
Splash!
"(°ー°〃)... Did the boss just fall into the water?"
Three minutes later.
"Water Release: Water Glide. Yohohohohoho~~"
On the battlefield.
Sandayu's death had spurred the rebels to fight with strength beyond their limits. Tenten also brought the power of Konoha's rich girl to bear, raining down ninja tools in vast quantities. They soon wiped out the Snow ninja.
Working in sync, Tenten and Yuhan blew up Tōkuma's Chakra Furnace and bound him with chains, securing a measure of success.
Kazahana Dōtō hovered in midair, staring down at them. "Hehehe, you're pretty capable. But all your efforts are useless! Ice Release: Black Dragon Blizzard!"
Whoosh! A black ice dragon surged from his fist and rushed toward the rebels.
The rebels were already exhausted. Faced with the incoming Ice Release, they all turned their eyes toward Yuhan, the only one who could counter it.
Yuhan let out a long sigh. "Wind Release, Fire Style: Wind Fire Dragon Bullet!"
They knew that the best way to counter Ice Release was Fire Style. Using chakra conversion to unleash Fire Style was already an enormous drain on Yuhan, and he could not help growing nervous. I have to hold out!
Boom! The two dragons, one ice and one fire, collided in midair, unleashing a powerful shock wave that nearly knocked the rebels off their feet.
Before long, however, the ice dragon overpowered the fire dragon and gradually pressed toward Yuhan.
"Hahaha! Konoha ninja are nothing special! Ice Release: Twin Dragon Blizzard!"
Two ice dragons surged out. Yuhan no longer had the strength to resist.
Tenten unleashed a great number of ninja tools, but the Chakra Armor deflected them all. She shouted, "Hongshi-kun!"
Yet at that moment, Kazahana Dōtō was thinking, Boss, if you don't get here soon, these guys really are going to die!
"Stop!"
A figure wreathed in flames flew in from the shore and kicked Kazahana Dōtō straight out of the air.
It was Hongshi. Like Rock Lee's, the Chakra Armor at his feet was burning with flames, which allowed him to fly temporarily.
Protected by his armor, Kazahana Dōtō suffered no injury, but the Ninjutsu he was performing stopped as well. He stared at Hongshi. "Who are you!"
Hongshi: "I am! Leeroy Jenkins!!"