The Slacking Squad's Magical Conversation
Aimis raised a hand to her lips, her face filled with unprecedented horror and confusion.
Aimis: Σ(°Д°;)
"Wh-what did you just say?"
Linnai stepped closer, wanting to see if something was wrong with her friend's brain.
What she wanted to say was, "Aimis, that biker jacket and short skirt look amazing on you today. You're so cool and stylish, I love you to death."
"You look like a trash can that just crawled out of a mud pit today. You're so ugly I want to gouge my eyes out right here."
The dorm fell silent.
Sigelica had just hiccuped. Her mouth hung open in an O, and she forgot when her next hiccup was supposed to come.
Aimis's eyes widened. Shock appeared first in her beautiful eyes, then hurt, and finally blazing fury.
She opened her mouth, ready to curse back at the top of her lungs.
"Thank you for insulting me."
"I hate you, you fake, disgusting bitch, more than anyone in the world. You're the worst creature in existence."
The "thank you" rang out crisp and clear, with even a hint of a delighted tremor.
Aimis herself was dumbfounded.
She clapped a hand over her mouth in horror and shook her head desperately, her eyes filled with the despair of "That wasn't me, I didn't mean it."
Linnai covered her mouth too. Her silver tongue had become the most terrifying weapon.
Linnai: (╬☉д⊙)
"Hic."
Sigelica finally found her rhythm. Looking at the bizarre scene before her, she spoke cautiously.
"Did you two, hic, eat something you shouldn't have?"
"I didn't."
Linnai was so frantic she nearly cried. She pointed at her mouth, then at Aimis, trying to explain.
"I just wanted to tell you how pretty you are."
But when the words reached her lips, they automatically changed into another version.
"I just think you're ugly as hell. There's not a single part of you worth looking at, and I want to beat you up right now."
As she spoke, she even raised her fist, unable to control it.
The insults aimed directly at her made Aimis tremble all over with anger, and her eyes reddened.
She pointed at the door, wanting Linnai to get out and stay as far away from her as possible.
"I never want to speak to you again."
"The closer you are to me, the happier I am. I wish I could stick myself to you right now and become conjoined twins with you."
Aimis: (ಥ﹏ಥ)
As soon as she finished speaking, she broke down, crouching on the floor and hugging her knees as she whimpered like a little animal.
Sigelica paced anxiously between them like an alarm that couldn't find its switch.
"Hic, Linnai, stop, hic, talking."
"Aimis, you stop, hic, crying too."
Just then, Chisaki, who had been silent the whole time, pushed up her glasses. The streams of data on her tablet had become a waterfall.
Chisaki: [¬º-°]¬
"Based on a cross-comparison of multidimensional representations, the logic gates in their language centers have been temporarily inverted, causing their input and output signals to reverse."
The moment she spoke, the entire dorm fell silent.
Linnai and Aimis stopped their surreal exchange of attacks and defenses, while Sigelica forgot to hiccup. All three turned to look at Chisaki in unison.
It wasn't because her analysis was particularly profound.
It was because of her voice.
Her normally cool, rational mezzo-soprano was gone. In its place was a babyish voice, soft and sweet to the core, with every word seeming to be coated in honey and pronounced with a slight lisp.
Completely unaware of the change, Chisaki looked at the other three solemnly and continued her analysis.
"Thith ith a very theriouth problem. We need to analythe the candy'th ingredientth immediately and find a way to reverth it."
"Stop making unproductive emotional outbursts. Be calm and rational."
"Thith ith a rigorouth thientific quethtion."
When they heard that soft, babyish "thientific quethtion," the two who had been at each other's throats finally couldn't hold back.
"Pfft."
"Hahahahahahahaha!"
Aimis laughed so hard she fell straight to the floor, tears streaming from her eyes, all her earlier hurt swept away.
"Ch-Chisaki, say, say that again. What kind of question? Hahahaha!"
Linnai was laughing too hard to stand up straight. Clutching her stomach, she pointed at Chisaki, wanting to say, "You're so funny like this."
What came out instead was, "You're so scary like this. You're frightening me to death. Please stop talking."
Chisaki knitted her delicate brows, unable to understand why these two logically confused subjects had suddenly started laughing.
She adjusted her glasses and, in that babyish voice of hers with its accent from outer space, repeated herself very seriously, one word at a time.
"I thaid, thith ith a, very rigorouth, thien, tific, quethtion."