Sponge Fish's Desperate Counterattack

Dania pushed open the peeling iron door of the Logistics Office, a half-burp still stuck in her throat.

Zhou Yu was neatly arranging the sliced apples into a food storage container.

Without even looking up, he took a piece of candy from the drawer and popped it into his mouth.

Dania lunged at the table, bracing herself against the edge with both hands, her mouth agape, her face flushed red.

Zhou Yu raised her head, her brow furrowing slightly.

A strange vibration welled up in my throat.

Zhou Yu: ≖ω≖✧

"Oh~ my poor Yaya ~ who made you like this~"

The ending note rises, with an overly lively little tail, as pure as if it came from the seabed of Bikini Bottom.

Dania's hiccups stopped.

Her eyes widened, and Zhou Yu's equally stunned face was reflected in her pupils.

Zhou Yu cleared his throat, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Cough cough... This candy... there's something wrong with it."

The voice remained bright and cheerful, and a tilde automatically appeared at the end.

Dania: ⊙.☉

"Zhou Yu... your voice..."

Zhou Yu held her forehead, unscrewed the thermos, and took a big gulp of scalding hot goji berry tea.

He spoke in the most serious tone.

"I am now fully aware that this is a typical side effect of the medication."

The cheerful SpongeBob SquarePants voice echoed in the Logistics Office, even carrying a slightly trembling, comical quality.

There were hurried footsteps outside the door, Chisaki rushed in carrying her tablet.

Chisaki: ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ

"Hey buddy, it seems like our Divine Crystal Script is malfunctioning~"

Her soft, sweet voice, every word seemed to be wrapped in honey.

Zhou Yu replied in SpongeBob SquarePants voice.

"Oh~ Patrick Star... no, Chisaki, do you think this is the effect of the drugs or resonance interference?"

Chisaki adjusted her glasses, her expression extremely serious, and tapped the pulsating wave pattern on the screen with her finger.

"I think it's a chemical reaction! Look at this amplitude, it's clearly neurotransmitter hijacking!"

Zhou Yu leaned closer and swiped a finger across the tablet.

"Oh, this waveform certainly doesn't resemble standard resonance offset; it's more like some kind of directional synaptic blockade."

Chisaki nodded vigorously.

"Yes, yes."

"I just tested a saliva sample and found trace amounts of a temporary receptor blocker. But the half-life of this substance is very short, so it should clear up in a few hours."

"A few hours is a few hours~ Is there any way to speed up metabolism~"

"Drink hot water. Drink plenty of hot water~ and Vitamin C too~ I've already asked Aimis to get some effervescent tablets from the infirmary~"

Two people with unusually high-pitched voices engaged in an extremely serious pathological discussion, surrounded by a bunch of waveform diagrams and chemical formulas.

Dania bent over, her shoulders shaking, and a hiccup escaped her throat from laughing.

"Hiccup... you... you guys... hiccup..."

The door to the Logistics Office was kicked open, and Linnai and Aimis tumbled in, supporting each other.

Linnai pointed at Chisaki, her mouth agape.

"You looked so disgusting just now, I almost cried from how ugly you were."

She covered her mouth after she finished speaking, her eyes reddening.

Aimis laughed until tears streamed down her face, then added insult to injury.

"You look so awful, you wouldn't even need special effects to film a horror movie."

She froze for a second, then squatted down, buried her face in her hands, and wailed.

No, that's not what I meant.

Sigelica was the last to enter. She leaned against the doorframe, her face ashen, and was still hiccuping rhythmically.

Sigelica: ▔‸▔

"Hiccup... Could you... hiccup... stop...?"

Zhou Yu turned his head and looked at her with his still calm eyes.

"Oh~ Sigelica ~ You're a victim too~ Come here and have some water~"

SpongeBob SquarePants's voice trailed off in mid-air, while Sigelica's burp got stuck.

Her facial muscles twitched, and her lips trembled three times.

Half of the Logistics Office was clutching their stomachs and slumped over their desks.

Linnai pointed at Zhou Yu, but the words she was about to say automatically changed direction.

"Shut up, or I'll want to slap you with my slipper."

Aimis slammed her fist on the table and echoed her words.

"I hate people like you. Get out of my sight right now."

She gave up on explaining and buried her face in her arms.

Dania moved closer to Zhou Yu and tugged at his clothes.

"Zhou Yu... when will this sugar... return?"

Zhou Yu looked down at her, his serious, analytical expression disappearing.

Don't worry, it'll be over soon!

The light, spongy voice made Dania's lips involuntarily curl up again.

Chisaki pointed at the tablet.

"Let me check Lu Hesi's medication records. This candy was originally for relieving anxiety. The side effect is listed as potentially causing temporary speech abnormalities, but the dosage is too low, so the pharmaceutical company didn't include it in the instructions."

Zhou Yu squinted and pulled a blank form and a half-worn pen from the drawer.

"Medical malpractice—this is a typical case of medical malpractice."

SpongeBob SquarePants delivered his verdict in an extremely cheerful voice.

Chisaki nodded in agreement from the side.

"Yes, yes~ I can write a medical malpractice report~ I can help you organize the data and evidence~"

Zhou Yu's pen tip fell, making a soft scratching sound on the paper.

He read it aloud in SpongeBob SquarePants' voice, emphasizing each word.

Title: Medical Malpractice Assessment Report

"Several patients experienced vocal abnormalities after taking the medication, including but not limited to SpongeBob SquarePants resonance, infantile vocalizations, and semantic-logical inversions."

"We hereby entrust the Logistics Department to submit a formal inquiry to Dr. Lu Hesi of the Resonance Medical Center."

Sigelica's hiccups had stopped. She walked to the table, staring at the neatly arranged form, her face flushed.

Chisaki exported the data from the tablet, while Nairyuu murmured beside her.

"This system's saliva test report ~ This system's heart rate fluctuation graph ~ This system's voiceprint spectrum comparison ~"

Zhou Yu took the tablet, glanced at it, capped the pen, and slapped the form neatly on the table.

"The evidence is sufficient; we can proceed with the formal procedures. It will be delivered to the medical department first thing tomorrow morning."

The cacophony of comical sounds hadn't stopped.

Linnai wanted to say "I love you" to Sigelica, but what came out was "You're the worst person in the world."

Aimis crouched in the corner, drawing circles, too afraid to open her mouth again.

Sigelica reached for the terminal and opened the encrypted group.

I'll deliver it myself tomorrow, nobody can stop me.

Linnai kept her mouth shut and replied in the group chat.

[+1]

Aimis raised her hand, giving a gesture of approval.

Zhou Yu picked up her thermos and went to the water dispenser to refill it with hot water.

Suddenly, SpongeBob SquarePants' voice came out.

"Oh~ I'm going to the medical department tomorrow morning~ Anyone want to come along~"

Dania, Chisaki, and Sigelica all raised their hands.

Linnai was typing in the group chat.

[Everyone mobilized.]

Aimis followed closely behind.

[I can already picture Lu Hesi's expression when he hears SpongeBob SquarePants's voice.]

Zhou Yu walked back with a thermos cup, looking at the name after "the doctor involved" on the appraisal report.

Lu Hesi.

He smirked, then quickly suppressed it.

The SpongeBob SquarePants voice trailed off at the Logistics Office.

"Great! Get the kids ready! We're going to collect the debts tomorrow!"