Education of Love

Although the pursuit by the Demon Saint Feilian ended with Yuanshi's intervention, Chen Song, upon returning to Kunlun Mountain, did not immediately revert to his usual "corpse-lying" state.

The thought of being chased by a Quasi-Saint Demon Saint, reduced to a panicked mess, and only escaping thanks to the Heaven and Earth Mysterious Yellow Exquisite Pagoda and his sect elders, left the usually lazy Chen Song feeling uneasy. It wasn't guilt, but rather... lingering fear! What if he had reacted a moment slower, or if the pagoda his master gave him hadn't been so powerful? Wouldn't he, Chen Song, have become the Great Wilderness's first Grand Unity Golden Immortal to be roasted alive after trying to barbecue a Demon God?

That was too undignified a way to die! It would severely impact his glorious image as the future CEO of the Three Pure Ones Group (his internal name for the Three Pure Ones Dojo)!

"No, I can't keep being this lazy!" Chen Song, uncharacteristically, felt a surge of fighting spirit. "At least... I need to max out my survival skills! If I can't win, I should at least be able to run, right? If I can't run, I should at least be able to tank it, right?"

However, this rare spark of "ambition" was immediately noticed by the Three Pure Ones.

Laozi, Yuanshi, and Tongtian, these three titans, watched as their disciple/junior disciple nephew, who normally wouldn't stand if he could lie down and wouldn't work if he could slack off, was now proactively asking about cultivation difficulties and expressing a desire to "enter secluded cultivation diligently." The three exchanged a meaningful glance.

When something is out of the ordinary, there must be a demon!

Laozi stroked his beard, his tone calm yet undeniably authoritative. "Song'er, your mind has been unsettled lately, and your Dao Foundation is slightly unstable. Has something external disturbed your state of mind?"

Yuanshi let out a cold snort. "Only after causing trouble do you realize the importance of cultivation? What were you doing before?"

Tongtian was more direct, grinning. "Senior Disciple Nephew, did that scoundrel Feilian scare the guts out of you? Don't worry, Martial Uncle will teach you some powerful sword formations. Next time you see him, you can slice him into 'Feilian sashimi'!"

Chen Song shrunk his neck and quickly declared, "Master, Second Martial Uncle, Third Martial Uncle, this disciple knows his mistake! This disciple deeply understands that strength is the ultimate truth in the Great Wilderness! I implore the three elders to teach me sternly! This disciple will definitely turn over a new leaf and become a new Song!"

Upon hearing this, the Three Pure Ones exchanged another tacit glance.

Laozi nodded. "Good. To recognize and correct one's mistakes is the greatest virtue. Since you have this resolve, your master will lend you a hand."

Yuanshi chimed in. "Coincidentally, my elder brother and third brother have been deducing the heavenly secrets and have discovered surging tribulation qi. Great changes are coming to the Great Wilderness. You indeed need to improve your strength to avoid future calamities."

Tongtian rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Then let's begin! Our 'Education of Love' package!"

... I am the dividing line ...

The morning mist had not yet dispersed when Chen Song was awakened by Laozi's bamboo staff. It wasn't to urge him to cultivate; it was because the residual smoke from his alchemy explosion the previous night had left a burnt smell on Laozi's meditation cushion.

"Master, I was wrong!" Chen Song scrambled up, his sleepwear still dusted with alchemy ash, looking like a squirrel that had just crawled out of a stove. "I'll control the fire next time and never again turn a 'Nine Revolutions Golden Elixir' into a 'Six Flavor Rehmannia Pill PLUS Edition'!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Yuanshi's voice, laced with ice, came from outside the door. "And that 'Five Elements Wristguard' you refined the other day melted my treasured Mysterious Iron into lumps. If it weren't for Four Unlike pleading on your behalf, your hands should have been chopping firewood for three thousand years."

Chen Song shrunk his neck. Glancing sideways, he saw Tongtian walking past with the Qingping Sword, a "dart" (actually a crooked piece of iron) from his failed practice session hanging from the sword's tassel. He couldn't help but grumble, "Third Martial Uncle, can you please not use my failed creations as decorations?"

"Why not?" Tongtian grinned, patting Chen Song's shoulder with such force that Chen Song almost fell over. "It's at least a product of my Senior Disciple Nephew's hands. Hanging it serves as a reminder to myself: if you don't put your heart into artifact refining, you'll end up making this!"

This was the daily routine of Chen Song's secluded cultivation:

During the day, he wrestled with flames in Laozi's alchemy room, occasionally blowing up the furnace. In the afternoon, he went to Yuanshi's artifact refining room to battle Mysterious Iron. At night, he listened to Tongtian lecture on the basics of formations, with the emphasis being "don't get trapped by your own formations."

As for that "Education of Love" session, the memory still made his backside tingle—Laozi used his bamboo staff to strike at his "unfirm Dao heart," Yuanshi used the Three Treasures Jade Ruyi to poke at his "floating foundation," and Tongtian was even more direct, brandishing the Qingping Sword and threatening, "If you slack off again, I'll throw you to gnaw on alchemy dregs with Kui Niu." At the end, the three spoke in unison: "It's all for your own good."

Chen Song understood: so, the core of the Great Wilderness's "teaching according to aptitude" was "beat them first, then teach them skills."

During this time, Big White attempted to "rescue its master" but was casually thrown by Tongtian into a "Teeth-Grinding Confinement Formation" filled with "grinding stones" as hard as acquired spiritual treasures. Big White gnawed until its eyes watered, almost believing its dog teeth were about to break. From then on, it developed a profound psychological shadow regarding the Three Pure Ones' "educational methods," and would tuck its tail and detour whenever it saw the three lords.

As for Four Unlike, it obediently followed Yuanshi, receiving the enlightenment of Yuqing immortal techniques. Its progress was rapid, quickly stabilizing its Golden Immortal peak cultivation and advancing towards Grand Unity Golden Immortal, much to Yuanshi's satisfaction. He would occasionally compare it to the Green Ox, which was still ruminating, and the dozing Kui Niu, eliciting innocent snorts and snores from the latter two.

From then on, his alchemy talent seemed to have its "Governing and Conception Vessels" unblocked.

Of course, the price was countless exploded alchemy furnaces, cracking three floor tiles in the alchemy room. Finally, in his third hundredth year of secluded cultivation, he managed to refine a passable batch of "Calming Pills." Although eating them would cause the consumer to yawn for half an hour, Laozi still nodded, "At least you didn't turn alchemy into cooking."

Artifact refining was even more arduous.

Yuanshi's demands for "form and structure" were notoriously strict. The first time Chen Song tried to refine a wristguard, he molded the Mysterious Iron into a misshapen lump and was punished by Yuanshi to copy the Yuqing Artifact Refining Record a hundred times. The second time, he tried to cut corners by mixing pine wood with molten iron. As soon as the wristguard was formed, it fell apart, and Yuanshi hit him on the head with his Jade Ruyi again.

It wasn't until his fifth hundredth year that he finally refined a proper "Five Elements Pine Pattern Sword"—carved with the patterns of five-needle pine trees, it could draw upon a trace of Innate Five Elements Qi. Yuanshi looked at it for a long time before finally managing to say, "Forget it. Just don't say I taught you when you're outside from now on."

This was merely the beginning. The real secluded cultivation was about to officially commence. He needed to digest the knowledge he had been forced to learn over these past few centuries and truly elevate his cultivation. At the very least... the next time he was chased by a Quasi-Saint, he wouldn't just rely on the pagoda and shouting for his Martial Uncle!

After resolving to officially enter secluded cultivation, Chen Song first dealt with two matters.

First, he appeased (and fooled) his mount and pet, Big White.

"Big White," Chen Song said earnestly, stroking the dog's head, "Look, your master has decided to enter secluded cultivation this time. You, too, can't just eat and do nothing, right?"

Big White eyed him warily, its muzzle turned up. "Woof! Master, are you trying to trick me again? My teeth still ache from Third Master's teeth-grinding formation last time!"

"This time is different!" Chen Song put on a righteous expression. "I'm thinking of you! Think about it, your belly defense is so strong, what does that mean? It means you have extraordinary talent! But what's the use of just strong defense? What about offense? What about running away? We need to develop comprehensively!"

He took out a few of the "Five Elements Spirit Nourishing Pills" he had just refined, which emanated a rich Five Elements aura (they were experimental, their effects unstable, but full of energy), and dangled them before Big White's eyes.

"See? Your master has achieved success in alchemy! You'll have plenty of good stuff like this from now on! But the prerequisite is that you need to develop new skills! Like... Devour? You can eat anything, can't you 'eat' enemies' spells and spiritual powers too? Or convert what you eat into energy to speed up your escape?"

Big White's eyes instantly lit up, drooling as it stared at the pills. "Woof! Devour spells? Speed up escape? That sounds... interesting! I'll give it a try!"