A thousand years might be no more than the time it took the great powers of the Primordial World, who casually lived for several cosmic eras, to take a nap, refine a pill, or quarrel with their next-door neighbors (such as the Witch and Demon clans).
But deep within Kunlun Mountain, a certain slacker forced to get to work underwent a profound period of secluded cultivation that remade him from head to toe (by shedding skin and pulling tendons).
On this day, at Chen Song's secluded cultivation site.
An aura far stronger than before spread out from the cave dwelling, like a fart that had been held in for too long finally finding an outlet. Mid-stage Grand Unity Golden Immortal! He had made it!
Chen Song strode out with the swagger of someone who recognized no relatives (though really, his legs had gone numb from sitting too long). Bathed in long-missed sunlight, he stretched comfortably, his joints crackling loudly.
"Ah! The air of freedom! Ah! That long-lost... huh? This air smells wrong?" He took a deep breath and keenly noticed that the spiritual qi between heaven and earth seemed spicier than before, mixed with a faint... smell of gunpowder and blood?
Just then, three figures appeared before him like ghosts.
Laozi still wore his placid, ancient-well expression. He held a newly refined pill in his hand, seemingly studying why it looked like a frog rolling its eyes. He glanced at Chen Song and said blandly, "Mm, mid-stage. At least you didn't eat all those immortal pills for nothing."
Yuanshi held his Three Treasures Jade Ruyi and looked Chen Song up and down, his gaze sharp enough to scrape off several pounds of skin. "Your aura is fairly stable. Not bad."
Nearby, Four Unlike, currently receiving the influence of the Yuqing Immortal Method, blinked its large eyes, which looked both like a dragon's and a tiger's, innocently.
Tongtian was the most straightforward. He walked up and punched Chen Song on the shoulder, nearly hammering apart his freshly stabilized cultivation. "Hahaha! Good lad! As expected of my disciple nephew! At this rate, you'll soon catch up to the lightning mink I used to... raise! Come on, come on! Your Martial Uncle has developed a new 'Myriad Swords Piercing the Heart Happy Formation.' I guarantee you'll experience the ultimate in speed and excitement!"
Chen Song bared his teeth from the blow and hurriedly begged for mercy. "No, no, no! Third Martial Uncle! I just came out of seclusion, and my heart is still fragile. I can't withstand the test of your 'Happy Formation'! I think I should first get used to the outside environment..."
Before he could finish, his expression suddenly changed slightly. It was not because of Tongtian's fist, but because that smell of gunpowder permeating heaven and earth had grown clearer and clearer. Even his mid-stage Grand Unity Golden Immortal primordial spirit felt a trace of oppression and palpitations.
It felt like the stifling low pressure before a storm, so heavy it made it hard to breathe.
"Master, Martial Uncles," Chen Song said, putting away his joking expression and pointing at the sky and the distance, "doesn't the aura between heaven and earth seem a little off? It feels like someone has a gas leak... ah, no, I mean the baleful aura is rather heavy?"
Hearing this, Laozi sighed softly and put away the "frog pill." His gaze seemed to pierce endless void, seeing the tragic scenes unfolding across the Primordial World.
"The Witch-Demon Conflict." Laozi's voice carried an almost imperceptible solemnity. "Since the Immortal Court's destruction, the Demon Clan has grown more arrogant, and its clashes with the Witch Clan have continuously escalated. This is no longer petty squabbling, but a struggle for clan destiny. The Heaven and Earth Tribulation... has begun."
Yuanshi continued in a cold tone, "Tribulation qi fills the air, and the Heavenly Secrets are muddled. If one now deduces the road ahead, all one sees is a sea of blood. Even Grand Unity Golden Immortals who become involved may face the calamity of Death and Dao Dissipation."
Tongtian, on the other hand, seemed eager to try, but Laozi glared him back with a single look. He could only curl his lips and say, "All this fighting and killing carries too much baleful aura. It affects my mood for practicing swordsmanship."
Chen Song's heart skipped a beat.
Holy shit! The plot had begun! The Witch-Demon Tribulation! This was the Primordial World's famous meat grinder, a massive event where even top-tier big bosses like Demon Emperor Di Jun, Eastern Emperor Taiyi, and the Twelve Ancestral Witches had to line up to collect their death flags!
Descriptions from his previous life instantly flashed through his mind: Buzhou Mountain collapsing, the Heavenly River pouring down, living beings suffering, great powers falling like rain... It was basically the Primordial World version of 2012 plus The Day After Tomorrow plus Independence Day, only super-sized!
A chill shot from the soles of his feet straight to the crown of his head! Though he, this little slacker, had latched onto one of the thickest thighs in the Primordial World—the Three Pure Ones—the tribulation was an area-of-effect attack that did not distinguish between friend and foe! What if one day the baleful aura clouded his mind, or some blood-crazed great witch or demon sage casually "cleaned him up"? Who would he complain to then?
No! Absolutely not! Chen Song screamed inwardly. I finally transmigrated, became an Innate Spiritual Root, took a Saint as my Master, got the Ancestor of Earth Immortals as my Elder Brother, and was just about to welcome the version update where Saints appeared one after another. I could have peacefully coasted to victory as a rich second-generation figure of the Primordial World... no, a rich first-generation figure. How could I fall on the eve of the tribulation?
An intense sense of crisis, like Kunlun Mountain snowmelt, poured over him and chilled him to the bone! His heart, accustomed to lying flat, finally began beating faster after so long.
Grind! I had to grind myself to death! Pah, I mean cultivate diligently! At the very least, I had to max out my survival skills!
He immediately put on a solemn expression of "concern for the Primordial World and determination to improve," bowed to the Three Pure Ones, and said in a grief-stricken (and exaggerated) tone:
"Master! Martial Uncles! This disciple was lazy in the past and wasted his time. I truly should not have done so! Now that I see tribulation qi filling the Primordial World and all living beings suffering, this disciple feels deeply pained! I also know that my cultivation is shallow. Should the tribulation spread to me, I fear I would become a burden to the sect! This disciple begs Master and Martial Uncles to strengthen my 'well-rounded education'! Whether it is pill refinement, artifact refinement, formations, or evasion techniques, this disciple is willing to learn! To learn with all his life! I only seek a little ability to protect myself in the coming turmoil, so I will not disgrace our Three Pure Ones Group... ah, I mean the Three Pure Ones Dojo!"
This impassioned speech left all three of the Three Pure Ones dumbfounded.
Laozi's hand stroking his beard paused, and he looked at Chen Song strangely, as if judging whether the boy had shut himself into seclusion until his brain broke.
Yuanshi's mouth twitched slightly. He was used to Chen Song's jokes and antics, so this sudden burst of "positive energy" made him somewhat uncomfortable.
Tongtian was even more direct, reaching out to touch Chen Song's forehead. "No fever? Why are you talking nonsense? Senior Disciple Nephew, have you been invaded by a heart demon? Shall your Martial Uncle scrape you with sword qi?"
Chen Song: "..." Sure enough, a persona collapsing too quickly was like a tornado.
He hurriedly patched things up. "This disciple is serious! Mainly... mainly because after coming out of seclusion this time, I feel that the outside world is too dangerous! Without strength, I wouldn't even dare to eat melon seeds carelessly!"
That reason sounded much more like "Chen Song." The Three Pure Ones exchanged looks that said, "Just as expected."
Laozi nodded. "Knowing danger and advancing despite it is also progress. Since that is the case, do as you wish. The pill room, Artifact Room, and Formation Diagram will be open to you at any time. If you encounter difficulties, come ask us."
Yuanshi added, "Do not blow up the furnace again. Materials are expensive."
Tongtian patted his chest. "Leave evasion techniques and sword formations to me! I guarantee you'll run faster than that stupid dog!"
Big White, who was secretly gnawing on a spirit fruit nearby, was innocently caught in the crossfire. "Woof???"
Thus, Chen Song's life as a cultivation grinder officially began.
He was no longer content to passively receive knowledge. Instead, he actively burrowed into Laozi's pill room, studying how to refine pills that could both improve cultivation and avoid causing side effects after consumption.
He soaked himself in Yuanshi's Artifact Room, wrestling with all sorts of hard metals and complex formation runes. His goal was to forge a Primordial World version of a multifunctional Swiss Army knife that could fight, flee, defend, and conceal itself.
He even followed Tongtian to learn how to flee more elegantly (and quickly), as well as how to set up trap formations that looked harmless to humans and animals but were actually sinister and cunning.
He even began exploiting... ah, "training" Big White.
Before Chen Song entered seclusion, he had told Big White to study whether it could "eat" an enemy's spells and divine abilities, or convert what it consumed into energy. Unfortunately, the stupid dog had failed to figure anything out.
"Big White!" Chen Song said earnestly while holding a freshly refined "experimental Five Elements Pill" that emitted five-colored toxic smoke. "Look, the tribulation is approaching, and blades have no eyes. Your hide may be thick, but what if you run into a Quasi-Saint who likes stewed dog meat? So we can't be satisfied with merely taking hits. We need to develop new skills! For example, can you try eating the enemy's spells? Or instantly converting whatever you eat into energy for a burst of super acceleration?"
Big White looked at the strangely colored pill, its dog face full of refusal. "Woof! Boss, that pill looks expired! If I eat it, will I immediately perform an ascension on the spot?"
"Don't worry, it won't kill you! At worst, you'll get diarrhea, or temporarily turn into a dazzlingly colorful black!" Chen Song coaxed. "Think about it. When someone uses fire to burn you in the future, you swallow it in one bite, then unleash an Energy Devouring Sprint and flee at top speed. How cool would that be? By then, you'll be the most handsome dog in the Primordial World!"
Under Chen Song's empty promises and pill temptations (as well as threats of violence), Big White tearfully began developing its "Devouring" skill. Needless to say, all manner of absurd mishaps followed.
And while Chen Song remained in Kunlun Mountain, "turning a deaf ear to outside affairs and focusing only on the wisdom of the sages," the outside Primordial World had already descended completely into chaos.
The conflict between the Witch and Demon clans had long escalated from small-scale brawls of "What are you looking at?" "Looking at you, so what?" into corps-level battles over "seizing territory" and "wiping out tribes."
Across the Primordial World, beacon fires rose everywhere, and baleful aura soared into the sky.
At the foot of Buzhou Mountain, the great witch Xing Tian wielded his shield and axe, fighting demon gods to a standstill. Their violent powers collided, causing the surrounding mountains to collapse like building blocks.
At the edge of the Blood Sea, Witch Clan warriors and the Demon Clan army slaughtered one another. Blood dyed the land red, severed limbs flew everywhere, and resentment shot into the heavens. Even Ancestor Minghe could not help sticking his head out to curse, "So damn noisy."
On the shores of the Northern Nether Sea, Demon Master Kunpeng lurked in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity. The Northern Nether Sea's icy baleful energy was like a venomous snake, ready to deal the Witch Clan a fatal blow at any moment.
Di Jun and Taiyi presided over the Heavenly Court, their might pressing down upon the Primordial World. Meanwhile, the Twelve Ancestral Witches gathered within Pangu Hall, radiating a terrifying aura that made all things tremble.
Though the two clans had not yet clashed in full force, their invisible confrontation and occasional frictions had already made the entire Primordial World quake. Tribulation qi had grown so dense it was almost tangible. Once ordinary cultivators were drawn into it, the baleful aura would instantly cloud their minds, reducing them to puppets who knew only slaughter.
This grand play of the Primordial World had finally reached its most brutal and bloody climax since the creation of heaven and earth—the Witch-Demon Tribulation!
And Chen Song, on Kunlun Mountain's VIP viewing platform at the eye of the storm, desperately grinded to improve his strength while watching the "live broadcast" outside in terror. He had only one thought in his heart:
Stay steady, don't get reckless! Keep a low profile, and we can win!
Before you continue