"Wuaaah~"
Chen Song stretched his arms wide and yawned.
He really couldn't hold it in anymore. Opening his mouth, he let out another huge, silent yawn, tears nearly shooting from his eyes.
He secretly looked around. Good lord, the Three Thousand Great Powers were all sitting upright with rapt, intoxicated expressions, as if they weren't listening to an incomprehensible heavenly text, but to the Dao Ancestor's exclusive ASMR.
"Was what the Dao Ancestor taught really that simple? Was it that easy to understand? Was I the only one who couldn't follow?"
Inside, question marks kept popping up over Chen Song's head. "These Big Bosses could all understand it? How could they sit still? Three thousand years! Wouldn't they get hemorrhoids from sitting that long?"
His gaze swept over the group of unusually styled Ancestral Witches.
Sure enough, aside from Houtu, who could follow along and wore a thoughtful expression, occasionally appearing just as absorbed as the other Big Bosses, the other eleven heroes... were in even worse shape than him.
Dijiang leaned against Gou Mang, drool nearly dripping onto his shoulder. Gonggong and Zhurong fought with their eyes, probably reenacting a scene of "What are you looking at?" and "I'm looking at you, so what?" Xuanming wore the philosophical confusion of "Who am I? Where am I?" The strongest physical-body squad had collectively collapsed before the Great Dao of primordial spirits.
When Chen Song's gaze met Qiangliang's, who was so bored he was picking at his fingers hard enough to make loud popping sounds, the two seemed to find a long-lost brother from different parents—both were slackers stranded at the ends of the world!
A bold—and suicidal—idea took shape in Chen Song's mind.
He quietly formed a hand seal. The Innate Five Elements Qi circulated within him, and a pile of leftover branches from his pine-tree true form, polished smooth as jade, appeared out of thin air on the ground. His fingers flew as he swiftly shaped the branches.
"Come on, Ancestral Witch Big Bosses," Chen Song transmitted through divine sense. "How boring is it to just sit here? Want to play a few rounds? I guarantee it'll be fun!" Chen Song waved the objects in his hands at the Ancestral Witches.
Behold, Chen Song's creations—Innate Mahjong and Innate Poker!
Next, Chen Song used his divine sense to instill the rules into them. The Ancestral Witches did not cultivate primordial spirits, but that didn't mean they had no brains. They understood the rules after hearing them once!
"Huh? This 'Pong' is pretty interesting!" Tianwu picked up a Two Bamboo tile, finding it even handier than an axe.
"Hahaha, Mahjong!" Gonggong shoved down his tiles in one sweep, his voice booming like a great bell and nearly scattering Ancestor Minghe's protective blood-light beside him.
"Four of a kind with two Ancestral Witches! Double jokers! I've definitely won this round! You think you can beat me with seventeen cards?" Zhurong flung out his playing cards, sparks flying everywhere.
But Chen Song still felt that wasn't enough. Then inspiration struck, and he remembered a tabletop game he used to play with his college friends, one with simpler rules—Werewolf!
"I'm definitely a good guy! Little Sister Xuanming can vouch for me!" Zhu Jiuyin thumped his chest in assurance.
"Yeah right! You old sneaky bastard are rotten to the core! You were the one who killed me just now!" Shebishi immediately retorted.
Inside Purple Cloud Palace, the atmosphere gradually fell apart.
At the front, the Dao Ancestor spoke with lotus flowers blooming from his tongue, Great Dao runes dancing through the air.
At the back, eleven Ancestral Witches and Chen Song played mahjong, Fight the Landlord, and Werewolf, making a racket as they argued. Every now and then, someone shouted, "Stick one on him!" "You're cheating!" "I'm the Seer! I'll investigate him tonight!"
The brows of the Great Powers listening intently to the Dao furrowed tighter and tighter. Kunpeng's face turned livid, feeling that the rhythm of his enlightenment had been disrupted.
The phantom of the Chaos Bell in Taiyi's hand trembled faintly, as though it desperately wanted to strike that noisy corner.
Jieyin and Zhunti wore miserable expressions as they muttered softly, "This Five Needles Pine of Innate Origin... really is fated to have nothing to do with our West..."
Ancestor Hong Yun found it rather amusing and kept looking back, until Zhenyuanzi tugged at his sleeve several times.
The only one who did not join in was Ancestral Witch Houtu. She covered her face and rubbed her forehead. Her brothers hadn't been this wild the last time they came.
Over on Chen Song's Three Pure Ones support squad.
The veins on Yuanshi's forehead twitched faintly, his face so dark it looked ready to drip water. But considering that Chen Song was still his Martial Nephew, he did not explode.
Tongtian suppressed his laughter, his shoulders trembling slightly. He thought his Martial Nephew was quite the character, and these little trinkets seemed rather fun.
Laozi was covered in black lines. Was this account going to be ruined before it had even been properly raised? He sighed helplessly, wondering whether he should take in another disciple.
Nuwa also watched the "little trinkets" in Chen Song's hands with great interest.
Just then, Dao Ancestor Hongjun's voice abruptly stopped from atop the Dao platform.
The entire Purple Cloud Palace instantly fell into deathly silence. One could hear a needle drop. Even the Chaos Qi Stream seemed to freeze.
The Dao Ancestor's calm gaze landed on the noisiest "game room," and his own forehead was also covered in black lines.
Chen Song was holding up a One Bamboo tile and shouting excitedly, "Pure Color! One Dragon! Top-tier hand! Everything doubles! Pay up... uh..."
He felt an irresistible, indescribable great power descend upon him, and the One Bamboo tile in his hand fell to the ground with a clatter.
Immediately afterward, he and the eleven Ancestral Witches felt their vision blur as a sensation of weightlessness struck them.
The next second, all twelve of them were neatly "invited" out the gates of Purple Cloud Palace in a perfect flying-sand-falling-goose pose, landing on the plaza outside.
[System Notice: You have been removed from the group chat 'Purple Cloud Palace High-End Academic Seminar' by the group owner and added to the blacklist.]
Chen Song and the Ancestral Witches looked at one another.
Gonggong scratched his head. "What happened? Did the Dao Ancestor want to play too? Was he upset that we didn't invite him?"
Zhurong said, "That's possible! Why don't we keep playing out here? We can wait until the Dao Ancestor finishes teaching!"
Dijiang said, "Good!"
Thus, on the plaza outside the palace, the twelve played mahjong loud enough to shake the heavens, slapped down cards with sharp smacks, and argued over Werewolf until their faces turned red.
"Airplane!"
"Three with one!"
"Flowering after a Kong!"
"I'm claiming Seer!"
Three thousand years passed in the blink of an eye.
"Dong—"
A bell rang, marking the end of the lecture.
The palace gates opened, and the Three Thousand Great Powers filed out with complicated expressions. At first glance, they saw those dozen conspicuous fools still playing! The eleven Ancestral Witches all had strips of paper stuck all over their faces.
The Dao Ancestor's voice drifted over faintly. "When I teach the Dao next time, you twelve need not enter."
Chen Song and the eleven Ancestral Witches: ???
Gonggong was still shouting, "Don't, Dao Ancestor! I won that last round! I'll definitely be quieter next time!"
Chen Song covered his face. "I'm so screwed. The transfer student got permanently banned from class by the principal on his first day of school..."
Seeing the unfriendly looks from his Teacher and Second Martial Uncle, along with Third Martial Uncle's meaningful smile, Chen Song felt as if the sky had fallen. W-w-would he get a three-on-one beating when they returned to Kunlun Mountain?
"In three thousand years, I shall hold another Dao lecture. It will also be my final lecture. At the next lecture, I intend to accept several disciples and explain the Dao of Saints. Do not forget this," the Dao Ancestor's voice sounded once more.
"What? Saints!"
"Taiyi, next time we should leave earlier. I refuse to believe we can't beat the Three Pure Ones."
"Mm."
"Brother, once we return, cultivate diligently. You and I should also compete for the positions of Saints."
"Mm-hmm, I'll listen to everything you say, little sister!"
Unable to make noise before Purple Cloud Palace, the Three Thousand Great Powers either sighed inwardly or secretly transmitted messages to one another.
Below Saints, all were ants!
Chen Song: Hey, hey, hey! Are you talking about me?
The Dao Ancestor said nothing further, and the gates of Purple Cloud Palace slowly closed again.
The Great Powers from across the prehistoric world departed, either alone or in groups.
"Kid Chen Song, come play at Buzhou Mountain often! Next time, we'll definitely win it back and cover your face in strips!"
After greeting Chen Song, Ancestral Witch Dijiang shattered space and departed with the other eleven Ancestral Witches.
"Little Pine Tree, come find me when you visit Buzhou Mountain too!" Nuwa's playful voice called out. (Fuxi and Nuwa lived atop Buzhou Mountain, while the Witch Clan lived below it.)
"Martial Nephew Chen Song, remember to come to Wuzhuang Temple for some fruit. Bring those little trinkets of yours..." Before Hong Yun could finish, Zhenyuanzi dragged him away.
The Three Pure Ones also took Chen Song and tore through the chaos, heading back toward the prehistoric world.
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