New Uranus of the Dark Cuisine World

Ted, Harriett, and Hermione all looked suspiciously at Ron, who was still terrible at lying.

Ted: "Why's your face yellow?"

Ron: "I put on wax because it's cold out! The cake was so hard it hurt my teeth!" Ted: "Then why's it red again?" Ron: "I'm glowing with health! I lied!" Sweet little Neville actually believed him. He picked up a Rock Cake so heavy it weighed down his hand and took a bite. "Crunch~"

"Wuwuwu~ You two are such jerks~" Neville covered his mouth, tears welling in his eyes.

They had already learned quite a few "technical terms" from Ted.

Ted picked up a Rock Cake and tested its texture—was this for people to eat? It was more like a chew toy made for Cerberus, wasn't it?

A Rock Cake was basically a small biscuit with raisins in it.

It was supposed to have cracks on its surface and resemble a rock, but it definitely was not supposed to be as hard as one.

But Hagrid seemed to have misunderstood. He had genuinely baked the Rock Cakes as hard as rocks.

If Hagrid ate them, his chewing muscles would probably find the texture just right. But for ordinary humans, they were far too advanced.

Ted casually stuffed the cake into Fang's mouth and served Fang his biscuit! Listening to Fang's crackling, popping chewing sounds, it felt like he was chewing on crispy cartilage.

Fang crunched away happily, clearly enjoying himself. His teeth really were ridiculously good.

Ron watched in fascination, green with envy. If I had teeth like that, I could eat the sky above and the earth below. What the hell would Voldemort matter? Naturally, no one ate their pre-meal snacks. Their stomachs rumbled as they waited for dinner.

Even Anzu had run out of patience. Normally, he would have gone to the kitchen to make Fries by now. Yet he still had not eaten! He kept calling from the coat rack, "Food food~ Food food~ Caw caw caw~"

Ted waved him over, letting him land on the table, then fed him a piece of beef jerky to calm him down.

Seeing Ron and Jerry staring at him with shining eyes, he had no choice but to hand them two pieces as well. Then he shook his head. "Is it too much? Not at all!"

Unfortunately, no one got the joke. How lonely~ Hagrid heard Anzu calling, examined him closely, and asked, "Is that a Talking Raven? You've raised him well!"

"Don't worry, it'll be ready soon." As he spoke, he tossed several side ingredients into the huge pot.

The dish Hagrid was making was called Beef Stew, and it truly lived up to the name "stew." He threw every kind of random thing into it.

Ted personally watched him toss a pair of huge, skinned claws—like bear paws, though he had no idea what creature they came from—into the pot!

Everyone exchanged glances. Watching Hagrid stir the stew with an enormous ladle, they felt his image had merged with that of the old witch brewing potions in Muggle fairy tales.

Could this even be eaten?

A half-giant's Poison Resistance might mean it would not affect him, but what if it sent them straight to the School Hospital?!

Seeing Hagrid's blissful expression, Ted had to admit that he was an outstanding representative of the Dark Cuisine World.

Ted: Please, Hagrid. I can write you a recipe book. Stop wasting food like this! In the end, Ted had to take matters into his own hands. He made roasted pumpkin and roasted potatoes as staples, along with a stew mainly made of jerky and vegetables, and they made do with that meal.

In the end, Hagrid alone finished half a pot of soup, repeatedly praising Ted's soup as delicious. He even asked for the secret recipe!

Ted: It's MSG. I added MSG~...

During their after-dinner chat, Ted noticed a magazine on Hagrid's bedside table—Fantastic Beasts and Magic.

"Can I take a look?" Ted asked, pointing at the magazine.

"Oh, of course!" Hagrid said.

"It's a niche magazine about Fantastic Beasts. Over the past decade or so, it's published plenty of new discoveries about magical creatures from other worlds, and it's always been at the forefront of the magical creature field. It's my favorite. I subscribe to every issue."

Ted nodded and began reading it with great interest, mainly searching for creatures he might recognize.

Seeing how seriously Ted was reading, Hagrid was delighted. "Ted, if you like it, I can lend it to you. But you have to return it—I'm collecting them!"

As he spoke, he pointed a carrot-thick finger at a simple bookshelf nailed together from a few planks on the wall. Sure enough, there were many books and journals about Fantastic Beasts there.

Ted quickly thanked him. "Thank you, I really like it, but there's no need to lend it to me. I've already finished it!"

Though he had not read it cover to cover yet, he had already memorized everything and could read through it slowly in his spare time.

To Ted's surprise, he found an article by Professor Quirrell in that magazine. Quirrell had some very insightful views on the crossbreeding of Fantastic Beast bloodlines.

Of course, the magazine also contained many criticisms of this. Everyone said he was a madman!

After all, privately cultivating and breeding new Fantastic Beasts was unethical, even illegal.

But who cared about that? Laws were riddled with loopholes from the start. Ron's father, for instance, was the head of the Ministry of Magic's Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office, yet he had specifically left a backdoor for himself in the laws he drafted. Not to mention the other, more powerful Pure-blood families.

Laws were mainly meant to control wizards without power or influence. As for influential wizards, it all depended on their self-restraint.

Hagrid, for one, did not take the Ministry of Magic's laws seriously at all.

In his view, I'll raise whatever I want to raise~...

On Sunday morning, Ted found Neville and Jerry trying to persuade an enraged Ron.

"What happened?" he asked.

Jerry explained, "It's because of Dean..."

Dean Thomas was one of Neville, Ron, and Jerry's roommates. He was Black.

Apparently, Dean was a football fan, which was perfectly normal for a Brit.

But while explaining football rules to his roommates in the dormitory, he had gotten into a huge argument with Ron.

Ron thought that a bunch of people who could not fly running around on the ground fighting over one ball sounded utterly pointless. Why not prepare several balls? If they could not use their hands, why not use bats? They could hit the other side with bats!

Ron: That's it? That's it?!

Naturally, they ended up arguing.

"I see." Ted nodded without commenting.

Ron became even more worked up and asked Ted, "Ted, tell me—can that Muggle football thing really be fun?"

Ted put down his chopsticks, thought for a moment, and answered, "Ron, you need to understand that Muggles have many, many forms of entertainment and sports. There are more than a dozen ball games alone. Don't argue just because your interests differ, and it isn't right to belittle someone else's hobby."

"This has nothing to do with Muggles or wizards. You like Wizard's Chess, and he likes Gobstones. That doesn't stop you from being friends. Besides, you live in the same room. You'll be living together for seven years."

That evening, Ron actually gave Dean an awkward apology and even gave him a Dumbledore Chocolate Frog card.

When little Dean saw the moving Dumbledore, he was overjoyed! After hearing about it, Ted could not help but sigh. Ron, as expected of you!

The five of them had eaten six of those things in total on the train.

It was only enough to fool Dean, who had grown up in the Muggle world.

It was worth mentioning Potions Class during the final week of October.

Under Snape's gaze, Neville grew so nervous that he seemed clumsy and awkward, once again becoming Snape's punching bag for a barrage of venomous remarks.

Speaking of which, Snape was definitely the elitist type. He could not stand the existence of any idiot. He had a serious intolerance for stupidity—the kind who got angry the moment he saw someone dumb.

Though he did not particularly like know-it-all Hermione or Ted, who always looked calm and carried himself as if he had seen through everything, Hermione and Ted were at least smart. Neville, however, was especially unbearable to him.

Yet after enduring that old poisonous snake's round of verbal abuse, Neville did not cry! Though tears were already swirling in his eyes, he forcibly held them back.

He had truly taken Ted's words to heart, and he was trying hard to become brave and strong! Snape had not expected Neville to become tougher. Instead, he wondered whether his venomous tongue had gotten weaker and was about to continue.

Harriett and Ted could not stand it any longer and both spoke up for Neville.

Snape glanced blandly at Harriett, then turned to Ted. "Talking back to a professor. Ravenclaw loses five points!"

Ted looked blandly at Snape and thought, Only five points? Haven't you eaten? Put some strength into it! Harriett: What about me? Come on! Take my points!

It was the last day of the month, so don't let your monthly votes go to waste~