The Greatest Fear is Falling in Love

"Isn't anything wrong?" Zichuan Xiu nudged Sterling's waist.

"Ah, oh, what? What's wrong?" Sterling stammered.

Zichuan Xiu glanced at him strangely, but said nothing.

Sterling immediately recovered his composure and strode into the living room.

Watching his retreating back, Zichuan Xiu's eyes were filled with worry. "I hope it's not what I suspect..."

Roger, Shirakawa, and Chuan immediately stood up and saluted. Sterling, with his exceptional talent, charming demeanor, and charisma, had become an idol among the younger generation of military men in the family. For people like Shirakawa, they might not know the Sovereign or the President Commander, but they would definitely recognize Sterling. Roger and the others had long admired him.

However, despite it being their first meeting, they all felt the same way: Sterling was not himself today...

From the private memoirs of Commander Shirakawa, "Days by My Lord's Side":

"...He (Sterling) returned the salute properly, and his greetings were also very fitting. He even sat down and shared a frozen watermelon with us, kindly offering guidance on our martial arts questions... Everything seemed normal, but for some reason, I always felt he seemed a bit absent-minded... very unusual. I told myself, perhaps this is what they call women's intuition?"

Later, another attendee, Commander Roger, would say: "Don't listen to that old hag Shirakawa bragging about 'women's intuition' again—her memoir was purely ghostwritten to make money. She herself doesn't even understand what 'HOW ARE YOU?' means—anyone could have seen that Lord Sterling was mentally unstable back then! Otherwise, how could a super expert like Lord Sterling have almost sliced off half his own palm while cutting a watermelon? And how could he have asked us five times in a row: 'When are you returning to the Imperial Capital?', 'When are you returning to the Imperial Capital?', 'When are you returning to the Imperial Capital, Roger?'... We answered him clearly every time, but less than three minutes later, he'd ask again: 'When...'"

Chief of Staff Commander Chuan added: "Also, our Lord Xiuchuan stood by the side the whole time, saying nothing, and grinning slyly like two Yang Minghuas plus one Lei Xun—you could tell from his mischievous smile: something definitely happened!"

***

After bidding farewell at Zichuan Ning's home, Zichuan Xiu escorted Sterling home.

"The stars are very bright tonight!" Sterling declared with the tone of someone making a significant conclusion, very solemnly.

Zichuan Xiu looked up at the overcast sky and raised an eyebrow. "Indeed!"

"The moon is also very round!"

"Yes." There was actually no moon tonight.

"Our Imperial Capital's streets are so clean!"

"Correct." Zichuan Xiu accidentally stepped on a dead cat.

"Actually, you didn't need to come out to see me off, you have so many other things to do..."

"Nonsense."

"..."

"..."

"Thank you very much for the gift, Li Qing will be very happy."

"I appreciate it."

"Is Miss Zichuan Ning alright? I didn't see her tonight."

"She's fine."

"What's her name?"

"Kadan."

The two stopped walking. Zichuan Xiu stared directly into Sterling's eyes, while the latter avoided his gaze.

Silence.

Zichuan Xiu spoke, enunciating each word: "Her full title is Princess Kadan, the third daughter of the current Demon God King, captured by me during the Fifth Hengchuan Battle. I am currently supervising her under the Commanders' Office."

Sterling's lips trembled, losing his usual calm and collected demeanor.

"You found out long ago?"

"I'm not blind."

"You think I'm very shameless, don't you?"

"No," Zichuan Xiu tilted his head in thought. "Just ordinarily shameless."

"I have a fiancée, and she loves me very much."

"I know. Li Qing is a very good girl."

"She is the daughter of the Great Demon God King, a person of the Demon Race."

"And an imperial princess among the Demon Race at that!"

***

The two stopped again and looked at each other for a moment.

"What should we do?"

"Do you want me to expound on how a high-ranking officer of the family should embody self-discipline, dedication, selflessness, and the magnificent spirit and heroic mettle of sacrificing the small for the great?"

"Go fuck yourself @#4#&&##!"

"..."

"Sorry, I got too emotional."

"It's alright, but there are several ways to resolve this matter—do you want to hear about a long-term, mid-term, or short-term solution?"

"Let's start with the long-term one."

"A long-term solution is also known as the 'once and for all' method. Method one: Tie a knot on the ceiling, step on a stool, stick your neck in, and kick the stool away. Method two: Go to the Great Demon God Fortress alone and challenge the Demon God King to a duel. Method three: Publicly kill Yang Minghua during the New Year's Day military parade. Which one do you prefer?"

"..."

"You don't like them? That's fine, we still have mid-term solutions! For example, you could castrate yourself with a razor – though there's some technical difficulty involved, and it's not as effective or safe as the aforementioned methods..."

"Shut your damn mouth!"

"Perhaps you could be like those immature middle schoolers, buy eleven red roses tomorrow, deliver them to Miss Kadan, wait under her window every night until dawn, sing love songs to her while playing the guitar, and feel your heart pound whenever you catch a glimpse of her silhouette – though your future father-in-law might be unexpectedly strict!"

"I told you to shut up!"

"Still don't like it? Then we'll have to resort to the last method – Kadan is my ward anyway, I can lock her in a deserted room and give you the key..."

Sterling punched Zichuan Xiu to the ground. He slowly got up, took the handkerchief Sterling offered, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, and slowly began to speak:

"As for me, I'd rather you die than walk this path – death is only painful once, after all." Zichuan Xiu's voice was low. "Give it up, brother, this is pure madness. Know this, if there was even a shred of hope, I would help you, no matter the cost, but this... you're not fifteen anymore! This is just a momentary impulse! She doesn't even know who you are!"

Sterling remained silent, his eyes vacant, as if listening intently, or perhaps lost in thought...

***

"This is the first time I've felt this way," Sterling's voice was faint, but his tone was firm: "I love her."

"You're crazy!" Zichuan Xiu muttered under his breath. "Then do you love Li Qing too?"

"That's different! My feelings for Li Qing – that's not love, it's just that we've been around each other a lot, and we don't dislike each other..."

"You've slept with someone so many times you're practically getting married, and now you say 'that's not love' – isn't that a bit late?"

"It is too late – the problem is, I only realized tonight what 'love' truly is!"

"I don't care if you die!" Zichuan Xiu lost his patience and roared. "I've been earnestly advising you for ages, and you're here talking to me about feelings? You're just looking for death – wouldn't slitting your wrists with a knife be more satisfying!"

"I know."

Sterling saw a small tavern by the roadside and gave a wry smile. "I've also invented a solution: drowning your sorrows in drink! Come on in, I'll treat."

"Oh, I can't! I have to report to the Administration Department tomorrow! Yang Minghua arranged for me to be deputy director there, so I can't drink tonight..."

Sterling ignored him and walked into the tavern himself.

Zichuan Xiu judged: "This is bad, he's serious this time! He doesn't love a good girl like Li Qing, but he's fallen for the Demon God King's daughter – what kind of world is this! Love – it's clearly just a fevered delusion!"

***

The person who was sighing at the time could never have imagined that, years later, he would throw himself headfirst into an even more poignant and moving emotional entanglement, staging the most famous and touching love tragedy of the Golden Age. However, that was something that would happen many years later...

On this day in August of Imperial Year 778, during the sweltering heat, Sterling was 23, Di Lin was 24, and Zichuan Xiu was 18. The three prodigies of the Zichuan Family were still being tossed and turned by the whirlpool of the era, unable to control their own fates, and had not yet managed to steer the course and direction of the times. However, they were getting closer and closer to that day