What Are You Eating? Break Me Off Some

Petunia quickly put the thought aside, after all, her sister and that Greasy Little Bat had already fallen out.

However, Petunia couldn't help but grit her teeth whenever she thought of that little bat.

The letter she was most vulnerable to, the one she least wanted anyone to see, was secretly read by that Greasy Little Bat and her sister, ruthlessly shattering her self-esteem.

Later, Penny heard that her brother-in-law had once disciplined Little Bat at school, and it was a rather profound lesson. Petunia secretly gave her brother-in-law a thumbs up—even though he was arrogant and conceited.

"I've tidied up your room upstairs." Aunt Petunia cleared her throat, looking somewhat serious. "When your letter came back a few days ago—I really didn't expect that you would send it by owl instead of calling."

"Sorry, Auntie," Harry said helplessly, "There are no phones there, it's quite backward."

Uncle Vernon raised his eyebrows when he heard Harry say that.

"Yes! You're right!" Uncle Vernon exclaimed. "They're just a bunch of old fogies. It's good that you recognize this problem... all those years of experience you've gained at the Dursley family haven't been in vain."

Harry thought to himself, "What have I seen or heard?" but still smiled at Uncle Vernon.

His mind was filled with thoughts of Veratia and Cassandra, and all he wanted to do was rescue them from the time loop as soon as possible. He had no interest in arguing with the Dursley family.

"Your birthday is in a few days, isn't it?" Uncle Vernon continued, "The 31st, if I remember correctly—at least that's what the letter said. Around noon, have your aunt bake you a cake to celebrate... In the evening, I have a very important business deal to discuss."

"What kind of business?" Harry asked, taking a sip of milk.

"If this works out, it will be the biggest deal of my life," Uncle Vernon said, his beetle-like eyes gleaming. "My God, if we're lucky, we can buy the villa in Mallorca by this time on August 1st!"

"So I hope you can—well, try to keep your owl under control." Uncle Vernon turned to Harry: "Try not to let him make any noise. I'll reserve a big house for you."

"Thank you," Harry said, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

"Alright." Uncle Vernon turned to Dudley. "His mission is to stay out of sight, but you're different, my darling Dudley —you're so charming and adorable, I'm sure the Mr. and Mrs. Mason will love you."

Do you like Dudley?

Harry glanced at Dudley, whose buttocks were drooping off the sides of the chair, and prayed in his heart that the Mr. and Mrs. Mason were Church of England.

After all, if one is a Catholic, one might not necessarily reject a pig wearing a wig.

"My cousin is really likable, I admit it." Harry sipped the milk in his glass in one gulp.

Uncle Vernon's face showed an affirmative expression.

"Kid, you're way more likable than your dad."

Harry thought for a moment.

His experiences at the Dursley family over the years, and being punished by Snape in Potions Class...

Harry remained silent.

Sometimes Harry wondered if his father could have offended fewer people, would he have suffered less?

After breakfast, Harry saw Dudley, who wanted to leave with him, being stopped by Uncle Vernon.

Dudley looked disappointed. He could only rehearse with Uncle Vernon over and over again what to do when the Mr. and Mrs. Mason came to their house.

Dudley was not released until almost lunchtime.

"Oh my god, I'm suffocating!" Dudley down on the doorstep and complained to Harry, "You don't know, Dad's been forcing me to practice how to greet guests for a week now... Oh my god..."

"Is that why you've lost weight?" Harry's words were as sweet as honey.

"I had no idea wizarding schools taught the art of conversation." Dudley put his arm around his cousin's thin shoulder. "My God, if only you had been less sarcastic towards me back then..."

"Will you bully me less because of this?" Harry asked.

Dudley thought for a moment and honestly said, "No."

"So I can't either," Harry said honestly. "But I'm all grown up now, and I should learn to be more accustomed to the hypocrisy of the adult world."

"So you don't like me?" Dudley looked at Harry with a pitiful expression.

"It's alright, not exactly unpleasant," Harry patted Dudley's chubby shoulder, where the flesh was thicker than a pork knuckle. "You know, wizards don't believe in anything except Merlin."

"What do you mean?" Dudley clearly felt that Harry wasn't saying anything nice, but he had no evidence.

"It's nothing. If you want to lose weight, I'll get you some medicine." Harry reached out and tugged at Dudley: "Look, it's all sagging."

Dudley, tickled by Harry's tug, laughed out loud, panting, "But Dad thinks... he thinks it's very manly... haha... Mom always thinks I'm too thin."

"And what about the girls at your school?" Harry asked, delivering a devastating question.

Dudley opened his mouth, then suddenly seemed to realize something.

"But I'm pretty good at boxing," Dudley said. "No matter who in school dares to laugh at me, I only need one punch to shut them up."

Harry briefly imagined the scene...

Well, it would be really interesting if my cousin knew Draco.

Just imagine, if my cousin went to Hogwarts and Draco mocked him as Mudblood...

My cousin might not be angry, but once he knows what that word means, he'll definitely punch him...

It's actually quite interesting to think about, though.

"You have to learn to judge things for yourself, Dudley." Harry put his elbow on Dudley's thick shoulder. "You know, parents aren't always right. We have to be good at judging right from wrong. After all... this is indeed a big problem. It's alright now, but be careful you don't end up not finding a girlfriend later."

As Harry spoke, he squeezed Dudley's swimming ring again.

"Then get me some, Harry," Dudley said seriously. "I don't want to never find a girlfriend. Good heavens, it would be terrible to never find a girlfriend in my life."

After saying that, Dudley remembered something more important.

"But what about my gift?"

Harry then realized that his cousin's pursuit of gifts was truly astounding.

He once overturned the dining table because he received two fewer gifts—startling Harry so much that he almost choked on his bacon.

"Your gifts are upstairs, all Magical World snacks—I brought you a little of everything." Harry stood up and patted Dudley. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

"Really?" Dudley's eyes lit up at the mention of food.

He followed closely behind Harry, all the way to Harry's house.

Harry took the suitcase out of his wallet, opened it, and started getting Dudley some treats.

"Wow, it's Cauldron Cake!" Dudley cheered when he saw the Cauldron Cake, picked it up and started tearing open the packaging.

I have to admit, the Cauldron Cake was really delicious, especially the raspberry jam, which was sweet and sour and whetted Dudley's appetite.

Before I knew it, I'd shown off seven.

"You eat Sickle," Harry said helplessly, and took out more food for him from outside.

What he didn't notice was that Pabbie quietly walked out from inside and stood behind them, Silencio and like a ghost.

"And this, you have to try it." Harry handed Dudley some Honeydukes candies. "Here, open this jar and take a look."

Dudley, unaware of the gravity of the situation, took the jar and twisted off the lid...

"Oh my god..."

He yelled and almost threw the jar away.

The jar was teeming with cockroaches, crawling around in dense swarms, their antennae practically sticking out.

Even with Dudley good mental fortitude, Dali was almost scared by the scene before him that made him lose his mind.

Fortunately, he reacted quickly and swiftly put the lid back on.

"What is this?" Dudley asked in horror.

"Candy, a cockroach-shaped candy." Harry answered casually, "Don't let its cockroach-like appearance fool you, it's delicious inside, supposedly with a cream filling. You should try it—"

Without saying a word, Dudley closed his eyes, twisted open the lid, grabbed a Cockroach Candy, and stuffed it into his mouth.

After a while, he happily opened his eyes.

"Ah, so sweet, so delicious!"

"I think you and my Headmaster should have a lot in common, really." Harry looked at Dudley with the same look he'd given a warrior. "He's really interested in this kind of candy, but most people in school think he's crazy."

"I don't think so." Dudley, holding the jar, suddenly revealed an evil smile.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you laughing like that?" Harry asked.

"What do you think if I took this candy to school?" Dudley said wickedly. "I'd use it to trick my classmates, saying whoever dares to eat this cockroach, I'd... um... admit they're the bravest person. Then I'd eat it myself to show off my courage, how about that?"

"If you don't want to be known as ' Cockroach-Eater Dudley ' from now on, you'd better not try it," Harry advised earnestly.

Dudley thought about it and realized that it made perfect sense.

He nodded, agreeing with Harry.

"I suggest you tighten that lid," Harry offered a more reasonable suggestion. "After all, you don't want one of them actually getting in."

"That's certainly sound advice," Dudley said, indicating that Harry's suggestion was reasonable.

He tightened the candy jar and set it aside, then picked up another box. "What's this?"

"Chew-Bubble Super Bubble Gum," Harry explained. "It lets you blow bluebell-colored bubbles that will float in a room for days without popping."

"Good stuff." Dudley put the box aside. "Oh, what's this?"

"I suggest you don't try it..."

Before Harry could finish speaking, Dudley took a bite out of the pie.

"Hagrid's Rock Cakes," Harry sighed. "I forgot to take them out..."

"It tastes pretty good." Dudley chuckled as he bit into the Rock Cakes Rock Cakes, showing no sign of its hardness.

Harry glanced at the Rock Cakes, then at his cousin, and thought to himself that people's constitutions might really be different.

However, he saw a white horse's head emerge from behind Dudley's shoulder.

"What are you going to eat? Break me some food!"

Dudley was visibly startled when he heard the woman's voice.

He was quite certain that it was just him and Harry in the room, and there were no women there.

Turning around, Dudley let out a startled howl.

He saw Pabbie's head.

This left him no choice but to be afraid. If it were a person, it wouldn't be so bad, but it was clearly a horse—

Oh my god, that's terrifying.

Thankfully, Harry used a Muting Charm before entering the room, otherwise his aunt and uncle would have been drawn in.

"My God, Holy Mary!" Dudley cried out in terror.

"Not Mary," Pabbie corrected. "It's Pabbie."

Dudley glanced at Pabbie in alarm, then at Harry.

"Pabbie?"

"Pabbie is Unicorn, Dudley," Harry could only explain. "She's my friend—you should be thankful that Unicorn only greet those with the purest souls."

"His soul is quite pure," Pabbie said to Harry, glancing at Dudley. "It seems like eating is the only thing that matters in his life."

"I must admit, Unicorn Lady," Dudley, still somewhat shaken, "You're absolutely right."

"Alright, Dudley, don't panic." Harry patted the edge of the bed, letting Pabbie sit on it. He leaned against Pabbie and said casually, "Unicorn are very sacred creatures. You should be happy, not afraid."

"Really?" Dudley swallowed hard and looked Pabbie up and down again.

It must be said that the Unicorn's appearance is indeed incredibly pure and holy. Even something as simple as Dudley can still exude a sense of holiness.

"Dudley! Dudley!"

My uncle's voice came from outside.

"I should go down now, Harry," Dudley sighed. "After all... well, the Mr. and Mrs. Mason are coming over, and I need to rehearse how to greet them."

Finally, he said somewhat irritably, "Ugh, I really don't know what Dad is thinking. Why does he have to go through all this trouble over and over again..."

"Actually, you have other options," Pabbie suddenly said.

"What's the solution?" Dudley immediately perked up.

He really didn't want to rehearse anymore; it just didn't feel right anymore.

If there were any good way to help him escape this training, he would be... ecstatic.

"Actually, you could have Harry brew you some Jubilee Potion," Pabbie said, shaking his head. "Jubilee Potion makes people happy. Think about it, if those Mr. and Mrs. Mason you mentioned came over and ate something laced with Jubilee Potion, wouldn't your dad be able to talk about anything he wanted under that happy influence?"

The more Pabbie spoke, the brighter Dudley's eyes became.

Finally, he cheered and ran outside.

"I'm going to tell Dad right now!" He ran out without looking back.