Chapter Nineteen: If We Could Become Constellations, With You

"Next time?" Shiko finally remembered that Yukina seemed to have said there would be another live show in a few days.

"You're really holding one?" Although the last live had been quite fun, Shiko felt a nameless weariness deep in her heart.

"If Yukina-senpai says so, then let's do it." Kita had no objections. Performing live would help improve her technique, too.

"So what do we do about the setlist?" Ryo asked.

That was what Nijika wanted to ask as well. After all, they had already performed every original song they could play at the last live. There was no rule saying they couldn't use the same setlist again, but it would be better to have one or two new songs.

"Can't we use covers?" Kita asked.

Nijika turned toward Roselia and puffed out her cheeks. "But Roselia only sings original songs. Using covers would feel like losing." That was the difference with a new band. Roselia could simply pick a few songs from their own repertoire, while Kessoku Band had much more to consider.

It looked like they would have to write new songs.

However, Kessoku Band now had two people who could compose. Who should they leave the new songs to?

"I'll do it." Shiko and Ryo spoke at the same time. They looked at each other. "Then you do it." Once again, they spoke in unison.

"Then you can both do it." Nijika compromised.

"Two new songs?" Kita clicked her tongue.

Nijika's decision had been carefully considered. "My intuition tells me there'll be another live soon after this one. Having more songs in reserve is a good thing."

They settled on having Shiko write both the lyrics and music for one song, while Ryo composed the other and Ichiri wrote its lyrics.

"Are you sure you don't want me to write the lyrics?" Ichiri asked Shiko. "For two songs... I think I could manage."

Before Shiko could answer, a commotion came from nearby.

"Be careful! Monsters are coming from that direction!" Lisa shouted.

Everyone looked over. A flock of black birds flew in from the horizon, looking like an ordinary group of birds. But Yukina's sharp eyes could see that some had no heads, some were missing wings, and some were covered entirely in torn, bloody flesh. Not one of them was intact.

"Hmph, hmph, hmph!" Ako struck a pose. "Darkness..."

A hand lifted slightly.

"Xihe zhi wei yang, Ruohua he guang?"

As a crimson jade slip cut through the air, several birds at the head of the flock turned to ash in golden flames, as though they could not withstand the sun's radiance. The rest immediately scattered like frightened birds and vanished from sight. Everyone looked toward Shiko and found her calmly lifting a cup of light tea.

"...You really are scary sometimes, Wu-san." Kita blinked.

"You should be used to it by now." Shiko took a sip of tea. "At least I'm somewhat used to it."

With the alarm over, everyone continued with their own tasks. There was still plenty of time before they set out.

"...So we need two new songs?" Shiko summarized after hearing everyone else's explanation.

"Yes. If writing both the lyrics and music for one person is too much pressure, then let me handle the lyrics." Ichiri said.

"It's a shame I don't have as much inspiration as Gotou-san. I can't write lyrics at all..." Kita lamented.

"You already have enough tasks, Kita." Shiko drained her tea and refilled the cup. "Since she took the task herself, let her handle it."

"By the way..." Shiko heard what Kita called Ichiri and suddenly remembered something. "Kita, do you still call Ichiri 'Gotou-san'?"

"Hm? Yes? Why?" Kita looked puzzled.

Shiko clapped her hands and smiled warmly at everyone. "Everyone, if it's convenient, could we prepare three new songs at the same time?"

The next day, Shiko submitted a score.

"If We Could Become Constellations?" Several people gathered around to look at it.

"That's right." Shiko said, "It's the other you's song. I recreated it from my memories and added a keyboard part."

Ryo scanned the entire score. It was obvious that, in order to preserve the original song's character as much as possible, the keyboard had been given an extremely unobtrusive role. Compared with Ryo, Kita was more interested in the lyrics. She was very curious what lyrics the Ichiri of another world line would have written. But as she read, her face gradually flushed.

Seeing Kita's reaction, Shiko was very pleased. After all, that was why she had added another song even though the band had already reserved two new ones.

In the original work, Ichiri and Kita's relationship was undoubtedly special. Their personalities were complete opposites, yet in each other's eyes, they both shone like stars. But in the current world line, the several opportunities for BocchiKita to deepen their bond had all been missed! Back then, inside [Xingtian], Ichiri had been alone with Shiko. Afterward, there had been no event like the cultural festival in the original work, where Kita supported Ichiri and helped her move forward. Kita had always asked Ichiri to teach her guitar, and she did seem to be growing closer to Ichiri, but it still wasn't enough!

Shiko wanted the two of them to become a relationship where they gave each other radiance, just like in the original work! She wanted Kita to call Ichiri "Little Ichiri" again! Merely spending time together in everyday life wouldn't be enough to achieve that! So Shiko had brought out If We Could Become Constellations. She hoped it would take their relationship one step further.

Before the others had finished looking over the score, Kita anxiously snatched it away and pulled Shiko aside. "Are you sure the lyrics you wrote are the original ones?"

"You can't doubt me on this." Shiko folded her arms. Even if she forgot lyrics she had written herself, she would never forget the lyrics of her favorite character.

Kita stared into Shiko's eyes. "You mean these lyrics were written by that Gotou-san?"

Shiko nodded. "And they were written for you."

"But, but, but..." Kita rarely stammered. She pointed at several lines of the lyrics. "The moonlight is beautiful... I remember that this is..."

"That's right. It's exactly what you think." Shiko remained calm. "Bocchi the Rock! is a hugely popular yuri work from Houbunsha. How many viewers do you think ship BocchiKita?"

"Eh? Eh? Eh?" While Kita was still stunned, Shiko continued. "To be honest, though it's a little embarrassing to say, my former self and the other me were both devoted BocchiKita fans. But now I genuinely just want your relationship to return to the original work. That's all."

Her face red, she patted Kita's shoulder. "Trust me!"

Kita looked as though Ichiri had possessed her. Seen like this, she really did look as if she had "become a constellation" with Ichiri. Shiko smiled, took the score back from Kita's trembling hands, and returned to the others. "Any other questions?"

Nijika leaned close to Ryo's ear. "Ryo, don't you think... the two Little Shikos are becoming more and more alike?"

"Maybe her illness is almost cured?" Ryo said.

"I can hear you, you know." Shiko looked a little embarrassed.

"Ahem." Nijika looked away. "We happen to have practice today, so let's practice this song first. Is that all right?"

Ichiri had finished looking over her part by then. "Why does this section suddenly stop for so long, and then switch to slide-bottle playing?" She pointed at one passage.

Shiko explained, "It normally wouldn't be necessary, but in the original work, Ichiri's first guitar string broke during the first live, and the second string couldn't be used either. At the crucial moment, you picked up an empty wine bottle from the floor and played a flashy slide part with it. I really want to recreate that."

"The two Shikos really are a little different after all." Ryo spoke softly to Nijika.

"So, even though it's very rude, could you let the guitar malfunction at that point?" Shiko asked Ichiri with a solemn expression.

"But you're both definitely Little Shikos." Nijika was speechless.

Chapter Nineteen: If We Could Become Constellations, With You

Ichiri quietly approached Kita, who was hiding in the bushes.

"Kita-san..."

"Eek!" At the sound of Ichiri's voice, Kita sprang out as though startled and immediately bounded away like a rabbit, leaving the wounded Ichiri behind.

After hiding in another patch of shadow, Kita crouched down and panted softly.

"Ahhh... This is so embarrassing..." She buried her face in her arms.

No. She couldn't face Gotou-san at all. Whenever she saw her or heard her voice, the lyrics of that song would come to mind.

"If we could gather together and become a constellation."

"A fleeting wish on a starry night."

"Waaah, stop thinking about it!" Kita pounded her head. She had already experienced something as heavy as Before Waking Up, so why was she still losing her composure over these lyrics?

Although she didn't want to, her mind continued chewing over the lyrics, breaking the words down into emotions, digesting and absorbing them. The more she digested them, the more flustered she became. Were the emotions expressed in the lyrics really nothing more than dependence between friends? So the two of them in another world line had actually shared that kind of relationship?

She had asked Wu-san about it. That Wu-san—the one the other her had called a "BocchiKita fan"—had excitedly described how she and Gotou-san in the other world line had first met in the stairwell, how they interacted in everyday life, what she had done for Gotou-san at the cultural festival, when the way they addressed each other had changed, how they had embarrassed themselves in front of the entire school, and how they had met each other's eyes in Gotou-san's room...

She had absolutely embellished the story!

And yet Kita found herself constantly imagining the two of them in that other world line, imagining a relationship that went beyond that of ordinary friends—

And secretly yearning for it.

That would be wonderful, wouldn't it? Becoming each other's stars and forming a constellation together.

After all, Gotou-san really was her star now.

Whether it was pulling her back when she was about to run away from Starry, giving her the motivation to move forward through her lyrics, or patiently teaching her Guitar Technique, it had all been Gotou-san.

Kita savored every detail of the everyday life she had shared with Ichiri, thinking about it during the day and at night. In the end, she reached a conclusion: Hitori Goto had begun illuminating Ikuyo Kita's sky from that day onward.

But she couldn't do it. Kita knew that the current her couldn't become Gotou-san's star.

Simply working hard and getting along normally couldn't make her shine for Gotou-san. She had desperately searched and struggled, and her Electric guitar technique had already reached Level 4. She had also become more proficient in battle and developed several original skills.

But none of that could make her Gotou-san's star. She knew exactly what Gotou-san needed. She needed to overcome her weaknesses, and for that she needed encouragement from her companions. When necessary, she needed someone to pull her along. In the other world line, she was the only one in the band who attended the same school as Gotou-san, and therefore spent the most time with her in daily life, earning that position. But now, her relationship with Gotou-san was merely that of ordinary bandmates. She wasn't even the person who spent the most time with her—that was Wu-san. So she couldn't find an opportunity to illuminate Gotou-san.

Without shining for each other, she didn't even dare call her "Little Ichiri," no matter how much she yearned to.

That was why she had reacted so strongly to the lyrics.

Because they were clearly about her.

"If we could become a constellation..." She truly wanted to become a constellation with Gotou-san.

She wanted it—she wanted it so badly. She thought about it while playing guitar, while watching Gotou-san at live shows, while watching Gotou-san on the ship, and after reading these lyrics, she thought about it every moment of every day.

They saw each other every day. She could see Gotou-san's sleeping face the moment she woke up, and she even slept beside her every night. Yet the distance between their hearts refused to shrink by even a little. At first, it had merely been an ordinary wish, but prolonged torment had gradually twisted the emotion into something else.

She wanted to become her star. She wanted to call her "Little Ichiri." She wanted Ichiri to look at her, to look only at her. In those deep blue eyes, nothing but stars should be needed.

Who are you looking at now?

We're playing guitar together right now. There must still be a place for me in your eyes, right?

But that was all. Apart from their daily guitar practice, she had no reason to be alone with her. That brief period had become her only happiness.

So please, let me be this happy every day. Even if I can't become your star, I want to cling shamelessly and miserably to your eyes like a parasite.

When she came to herself, she had already pinned Gotou-san beneath her.

Gotou-san lay on the ground, her long hair scattered. Her eyes, her softness, her fragrance—all of it was beneath me. My legs had locked her down, leaving her unable to escape. If I shortened the distance just a little more, I could completely possess this beautiful thing.

I lowered my head and seemed to feel her panicked breathing against my nose.

The two guitars were pressed tightly between us, barely supporting the last of my reason.

What was I doing?

Ah, right. We had been practicing guitar. I had apparently been dragged into band practice. After band practice came our private lesson, with Gotou-san teaching me guitar as usual.

"This is strange..." Beneath me, Gotou-san's voice trembled. "Ever since seeing the lyrics, you've become... so strange... Kita-san..."

Looking at her tear-filled eyes, I was suddenly overcome by intense helplessness and sadness.

"...The lyrics."

"What?" she asked.

"When you saw the lyrics to that song, didn't you feel anything at all?" My voice seemed to carry a sob as well, but I could no longer hide it. Ikuyo Kita's social skills had completely failed her at that moment.

"That was a song written by Gotou-san in another world line! It was written for another me, right? How could you not feel anything after reading lyrics like that?"

"I..." She couldn't say anything. I waited for a moment. Her lips moved slightly, as though she were trying to organize her thoughts.

But I already knew.

I see.

I gave a bitter laugh and slowly moved away from her. Slowly, I put the guitar back into its case, feeling her warmth gradually disappear from my body. Then I shouldered the case and prepared to leave.

If I begged her desperately, would she accept me like this? She probably would. After all, that was the Gotou-san who could never refuse anyone. But then I wouldn't be Ikuyo Kita anymore.

Ignoring Gotou-san's calls from behind me, I walked out on my own. A commotion came from farther away. That was Wu-san practicing her combat abilities.

Ah, Wu-san again.

Gotou-san and Wu-san were closest, weren't they? Normally, I should have been jealous. If I were the sort of yandere character she talked about, I should even hate her, want to kill her, and monopolize Gotou-san.

But I wasn't that kind of character. Ikuyo Kita couldn't even bring herself to hate her.

Before she knew it, Kita had returned to the empty tent. The bed had already been made, but no one was there. At times like this, she should find someone to confide in, right? That was what Ikuyo Kita had always done, wasn't it? But she couldn't now. How could she tell anyone about these twisted emotions? For the first time, Kita felt the oppressive pain of sorrow accumulating inside her. For the first time, she was drowning in a sea of suffering with nothing to rely on. Before, there had at least been a ray of light shining in to guide her. But that light would not come anymore. She had done something unforgivable. That light would not come anymore.

She saw a small vanity mirror and simple toiletries beside her bed. They were hers. Although she had no cosmetics, washing up every day was still essential. She picked up the scissors and faced the mirror, wanting to cut off her braids.