Why Play in a Band If Not for Life

"Next time?" Shiko just remembered that Yukina had mentioned having another live in a few days.

"Are we really going to do it?" Although the last live was quite fun, Shiko felt an inexplicable fatigue deep down.

"Since senior Yukina said so, let's do it," Kita had no objections. Performing live also helped improve her skills.

"So what about the setlist?" Ryo asked.

Nijika wanted to ask the same thing. They had already performed all their original songs at the last live. While there was no rule against using the same setlist again, having one or two new songs would be better.

"Can't we do covers?" Kita asked.

Nijika turned to look at Roselia, puffing out her cheeks. "But Roselia only sings originals. Using covers feels like losing." This was how new bands were. Roselia could just pick a few songs from their own catalog, but Kessoku Band had much more to consider.

It seemed they had no choice but to write new songs.

However, Kessoku Band now had two people who could compose. Who would write the new songs?

"I'll do it," Shiko and Ryo said simultaneously. They looked at each other. "Then you do it." They spoke in unison again.

"Then why don't you both do it?" Nijika compromised.

"Two new songs?" Kita clicked her tongue.

Nijika's decision was well-considered. "My intuition tells me there will be another live soon after this one. It's good to have more songs in reserve."

So, it was decided: Shiko would write and compose one song herself, and Ryo would compose another, with Ichiri writing the lyrics.

"Are you sure you don't want me to write the lyrics?" Ichiri asked Shiko. "If it's two songs... I think I can do it."

Before Shiko could answer, there was a commotion nearby.

"Watch out, monsters are coming!" Lisa shouted.

Everyone looked up. A flock of black birds was flying in the sky, looking like an ordinary flock. But with Yukina's eyesight, she could see that either the birds had no heads, were missing wings, or were covered in torn flesh. Not a single one was intact.

"Hmph, hmph, hmph!" Ako got into position. "Darkness..."

A hand was slightly raised.

"Xihe zhi wei yang, Ruohua he guang?"

As a crimson jade slip was cut off, the leading birds in the flock turned to ashes in a golden inferno, as if unable to withstand the scorching sun. The rest immediately scattered like birds and beasts, disappearing from their sight. Everyone looked at Shiko, who was calmly lifting a cup of clear tea.

"...Sometimes you're really scary, Wu-san," Kita blinked.

"You should be used to it by now," Shiko took a sip of tea. "At least I'm a bit used to it."

Since the alarm had been cleared, everyone continued with their own tasks. There was still plenty of time before they had to leave.

"...So, there are going to be two new songs?" Shiko summarized after hearing the others' retelling.

"Yes. If it's too much pressure for one person to write and compose, you can leave the lyrics to me," Ichiri said.

"It's a shame I don't have as much inspiration as Gotou-san, I can't come up with lyrics at all..." Kita sighed.

"Kita, you already have enough on your plate," Shiko drank the rest of her tea and refilled it. "Since she took on the task herself, let her handle it."

"But..." Hearing Kita's address to Ichiri, Shiko suddenly remembered something. "Kita, do you still call Ichiri 'Gotou-san'?"

"Huh? Yeah? What's wrong?" Kita looked a bit bewildered.

Shiko clapped her hands and gave everyone a gentle smile. "Everyone, if it's convenient, could you prepare three new songs at once?"

The next day, Shiko submitted a musical score.

"If We Could Become Constellations?" A few people gathered to look at the score.

"That's right," Shiko said. "This is one of your songs from another timeline. I recreated it from memory and added the keyboard part."

Ryo glanced over the entire score. It was clear that to preserve the original song's appearance as much as possible, the keyboard's presence was very subtle. Compared to Ryo, Kita was more interested in the lyrics. She was very curious about what kind of lyrics Ichiri from another worldline would write. But as she read, her face gradually turned red.

Seeing Kita's reaction, Shiko was very satisfied. After all, this was why she wanted to add a third song when the band already had two new ones booked.

In the original work, Ichiri and Kita's relationship was undoubtedly special. Their personalities were completely opposite, yet they shone like stars in each other's eyes. However, on the current timeline, several opportunities for Bocchi and Kita's bond to deepen were missed! Back then, inside [Xing Tian], Ichiri was alone with herself. Later, there was no event similar to the cultural festival in the original work that made Kita support Ichiri's progress. Kita, on the other hand, kept asking Ichiri to teach her guitar, and she seemed to be growing closer to Ichiri, but it wasn't enough!

Shiko wanted the two of them to have a relationship where they gave each other radiance, just like in the original work! She wanted Kita to call Ichiri "Little Ichiri" again! To achieve this, simply spending some everyday time together wasn't enough! So, Shiko brought out "If We Could Become Constellations." She hoped it would help their relationship progress further.

Before the others had finished looking at the score, Kita eagerly snatched it and pulled Shiko aside. "Are you sure the lyrics you wrote are the original ones?"

"You can't doubt me on this," Shiko said with her arms crossed. She would forget her own lyrics before she forgot her favorite character's lyrics.

Kita stared into Shiko's eyes. "So, these lyrics were written by that Gotou-san?"

Shiko nodded. "And they were written for you."

"But but but..." Kita stammered, which was rare for her. She pointed to a few lines in the lyrics. "The moonlight is beautiful... I remember this is..."

"Yes, it's exactly what you think," Shiko said nonchalantly. "Bocchi the Rock! is a popular yuri manga from Houbunsha. How many viewers do you think are shipping Bocchi and Kita as a couple?"

"Eh? Eh? Eh?" While Kita was still stunned, Shiko continued, "Honestly, though it's a bit embarrassing to say, my past self and the other me were also loyal Bocchi-Kita shippers. But now, I really just want your relationship to return to the original work, that's all."

Her face flushed, she patted Kita's shoulder. "Trust me!"

Kita looked as if she had been possessed by Ichiri. She truly looked like she and Ichiri had "become constellations." Shiko smiled and took the score back from Kita's trembling hands, returning to the others. "Any other questions?"

Nijika leaned over to Ryo. "Ryo, don't you think... the personalities of the two little Shikos are becoming more and more alike?"

"Maybe the illness is almost gone?" Ryo said.

"I can hear everything," Shiko said, a little embarrassed.

"Ahem," Nijika averted her gaze. "We have practice today, so let's work on this song first. Is that okay?"

Ichiri finished reading her part. "Why does this section suddenly stop for so long, and then require a slide technique?" she pointed to a section.

Shiko explained, "It wasn't originally supposed to be like that, but in the original live performance, your guitar string broke during the first live, and the second string also became unusable. In that critical moment, you picked up an empty sake bottle from the ground and played a slide section. I really wanted to recreate that."

"The two Shikos are indeed a little different," Ryo said softly to Nijika.

"So, although it's rude, can you make your guitar malfunction at that moment?" Shiko asked Ichiri earnestly.

"But you're still Shiko after all," Nijika said, breaking out in a sweat.

Chapter 19: If We Could Become Constellations

Ichiri quietly approached Kita, who was hiding in the bushes.

"Kita-san..."

"Eek!" Startled by Ichiri's voice, Kita jumped out reflexively and darted away like a rabbit, leaving Ichiri hurt and alone.

Hiding in another patch of shade, Kita crouched down, panting slightly.

"Ahhh... I'm so embarrassed..." She buried her face in her arms.

No. I can't face Gotou-san at all. Whenever I see her, whenever I hear her voice, the lyrics of that song come to mind.

"If we could gather and become constellations"

"A fleeting wish on a starry night"

"Waaah, stop thinking about it!" Kita hit her head. I've already experienced the heavy themes of Before Waking Up, so why am I still losing it over these lyrics?

Even though she didn't want to, her brain kept dissecting the lyrics, breaking down the words into emotions, digesting and absorbing them. The more she digested, the more flustered she became. Were the emotions expressed in the lyrics truly just the reliance between friends? Was that the relationship they had in the other timeline?

She had asked Wu-san about this. However, that Wu-san—the one whom another version of herself called a "Bocchi-Kita shipper"—had excitedly described how her other self and Gotou-san first met on the stairs, how they interacted in daily life, what she did to Gotou-san at the cultural festival, when their way of addressing each other changed, how they messed up in front of the whole school, and how they met eyes in Gotou-san's room...

She was absolutely exaggerating!

However, Kita found herself constantly imagining them in the other timeline, imagining a relationship that transcended ordinary friendship—

And secretly yearned for it.

It's so nice, that kind of relationship where you become each other's stars and can form constellations.

After all, right now, Gotou-san is indeed her star.

Whether it was pulling her back when she was about to run away from Starry, giving her the motivation to move forward with lyrics, or patiently teaching her electric guitar techniques, it was all Gotou-san.

Kita savored every word of the time she spent with Ichiri, thinking about it during the day and at night. Finally, she came to a conclusion: Hitori Goto had been illuminating Kita Ikuyo's sky since that day.

But she couldn't do it. Kita knew that her current self couldn't become Gotou-san's star.

Just ordinary effort and ordinary interactions wouldn't make her shine for Gotou-san. She had been desperately searching and working hard, her Electric guitar technique had reached Lv4, she had become more proficient in combat, and developed several original skills.

But that wouldn't make her Gotou-san's star. She knew what Gotou-san needed. She needed to overcome her weaknesses, and for that, she needed the encouragement of her companions, and sometimes a helping hand. In the other timeline, she was the only one in the band who attended the same school as Gotou-san, and interacted with her the most in daily life, which is why she held that position. But now, her relationship with Gotou-san was just that of ordinary bandmates, and she wasn't even the one who spent the most time with her; that was Wu-san. Therefore, she couldn't find an opportunity to shine for Gotou-san.

Without mutual illumination, she didn't even dare to call her "Little Ichiri," no matter how much she longed to do so in her heart.

That's why she reacted so strongly to the lyrics.

Because they clearly described her.

"If we could become constellations..." She really, really wanted to become constellations with Gotou-san.

She wanted to, she really wanted to, she wanted to so much. She thought about it while playing guitar, while watching Gotou-san at lives, while watching Gotou-san on the boat, and especially after reading these lyrics, she thought about it constantly.

Even though they met every day, even though she could see her sleeping face every morning, even though she slept right next to her, the distance between their hearts couldn't close even a little. It started as a simple wish, but the long torment gradually corrupted this feeling.

I want to become her star, I want to call her "Little Ichiri," I want her to look at me, only at me, that's all she needs. In her sapphire eyes, she needs nothing but stars.

Who are you looking at now?

We're playing guitar together now, and you still have me in your eyes, right?

But that's all there is. Apart from the daily guitar practice, I have no reason to be alone with you. This short period of time has become my only source of happiness.

So, please let me be happy like this every day. Even if I can't become your star, I want to cling to your eyes like a parasite, ugly as it may be.

Before she knew it, she had pinned Gotou-san down.

Gotou-san lay on the ground, her long hair disheveled. Her eyes, her softness, her fragrance, were all pinned beneath her. Her legs were locked tightly around her, she couldn't escape. If she could just close the distance a little more, she could completely possess this beauty.

She leaned her head down, seeming to feel Gotou-san's flustered breaths.

The two guitars, pressed tightly between them, barely supported her last shred of reason.

What am I doing?

Ah, it seems like I was practicing guitar. I was somehow forced to go to band practice. After band practice, it was individual practice, and Gotou-san was teaching her guitar as usual.

"It's strange..." Gotou-san's voice trembled from beneath her. "Ever since I saw the lyrics... you've become... so strange... Kita-san..."

Looking at her with tears welling up in her eyes, a strong sense of helplessness and sadness suddenly surged within her.

"...The lyrics."

"What?" she asked.

"Seeing the lyrics to that song, doesn't Hitori Goto have anything to say?" My voice seemed to crack with tears, but there was no hiding it anymore. Ikuyo Kita's social skills completely failed her at this moment.

"That's a song Hitori Goto wrote on another worldline! It was written for another me, right? With lyrics like that, doesn't Hitori Goto have any thoughts?"

"I..." She couldn't say anything. I waited for a moment, and she just moved her lips, seemingly trying to form words.

But I already knew.

So that's how it is.

I gave a bitter smile and slowly, I pulled away from her, slowly put the guitar back into its case, feeling her warmth on me gradually disappear. Then, I slung my bag over my shoulder and prepared to leave.

If I begged with all my might, would she accept me like this? She would, wouldn't she? After all, she's Hitori Goto, who never refuses. But then, she wouldn't be Ikuyo Kita.

I ignored Hitori Goto's calls from behind and walked out on my own. In the distance, I heard a commotion. That was Wu-san practicing combat skills.

Ah, Wu-san again.

Hitori Goto and Wu-san are the closest, aren't they? Logically, I should be jealous. If I were the yandere character she described, I should even hate her, want to kill her, and have Hitori Goto all to myself.

But I'm not that kind of character. Ikuyo Kita can't even bring herself to hate.

Unknowingly, Ikuyo Kita returned to the empty tent. The bedding was already laid out, but no one was there. In times like these, I should find someone to talk to, right? Ikuyo Kita always did that, didn't she? But not now. How could she tell anyone about these twisted feelings of hers? For the first time, Ikuyo felt the stifling bitterness of sadness accumulating in her heart. For the first time, she was drowning in a sea of pain with no one to rely on. Before, at least a light would shine in and guide her. But that light wouldn't come anymore. She had done something terrible. That light wouldn't come.

She saw a small vanity mirror and simple toiletries placed by her bedding. These were hers. Although there were no cosmetics, daily grooming was still essential. She picked up a pair of scissors and, looking in the mirror, wanted to cut off her braid.