Of course, when choosing my subjects, I still wanted to focus mainly on the humanities. After all, I was more interested in history and geography. I understood them, could memorize them, and did better in them.
"No. You have to choose at least one science subject," my parents said.
I knew why. When applying for university during the gaokao, most popular majors required physics. Besides, a teacher had mentioned that, during an inspection, some big shot had commented on the shortage of students taking physics and chemistry: "Students from Jiangsu and Zhejiang must shoulder national responsibility." Various policies also encouraged students to choose physics and chemistry.
"Didn't you score very well in physics?" Mom asked.
But I genuinely couldn't learn it. I only seemed good now because everyone else was bad at it too. Once those who were actually good at physics started showing their strength, I'd be finished. Besides, I really had no interest in physics.
"I... want to study archaeology." Since I was good at history and geography, I had gradually developed a strong interest in the field.
"Are you joking?" My parents were utterly incredulous when they heard what I wanted.
"That's not a proper career path," they advised me earnestly.
"How much money can you save doing that? Archaeology is hard... How will you survive? We only want you to have a normal life..."
Wrinkles appeared on Dad's face. "If you can't live independently, I won't be able to rest in peace..."
It wasn't as if they had anything to do with archaeology. They worked in design and civil air defense.
"Look at your brother. Isn't he living a pretty good life now? Didn't he get into a good university?" Mom brought my brother up again.
But his job had nothing to do with his university major. He was a social butterfly with friends everywhere. As far as I remembered, his social media was full of photos of him traveling all over the world. He was naturally a winner at life.
"Then... what about history?" Studying history would work too.
"People who study history usually become teachers. Can you become a teacher?" I knew myself that, with my personality, I absolutely couldn't become one.
I couldn't remember what else they said. The important thing wasn't their reasons, but their attitude.
Life was so short. Why couldn't I do what I wanted? Rather than forcing myself to study something I had no interest in for a future I didn't care about, why couldn't I walk freely down the path I wanted?
But I couldn't say those things to my parents. I didn't have to think to know what parents whose edges had been worn smooth by life would say. I also had no friend I could confide in. In my classmates' conversations about the future, I often heard talk of ideals, but most of it concerned which majors were popular and which had promising prospects. As for online...
"Obviously, that's something only a little kid would say. They've never experienced the pressure of life."
"Your parents are right."
"Disgusting. What dreams? I study just to eat!"
Well, at a glance, it was all about daily necessities.
I couldn't get angry either, because I understood why they thought that way. After all, I sometimes had the same thoughts. All I could do was silently keep my opinions to myself. But when I saw my parents frowning and haggling over trivial matters, and saw netizens shouting at each other over pointless things under the pressure of life, I thought: I don't want this kind of life.
I wanted a life where I could freely pursue my dreams and keep striving for the things I truly wanted.
Fortunately, my parents weren't extremely old-fashioned. On the eve of submitting my applications, I seriously told them what I wanted once again. After discussing it with them repeatedly, we eventually wrote archaeology on my university application form. As the price, every other choice was filled with the "promising majors" my parents had selected.
They were all science and engineering majors.
But there were only a handful of universities in the country that offered archaeology. For me, their admission scores fell into three tiers: the ones I might barely reach if I worked as desperately as I had in junior high; the ones I could get into now, but that could only serve as safe choices if I performed badly; and the ones I didn't need to consider at all, because adding them to my application would insult my twelve years of hard study.
It seemed I could only try to recreate what I had experienced in junior high. Perhaps that miracle could happen one more time.
The classroom, the teachers' office, and the cafeteria. Those were all the areas the school needed to keep for me. I also went to the convenience store, though I mostly bought bread and pen refills.
The miracle really seemed to appear.
The crooked English I had written suddenly became neat, and my vocabulary began to grow richer. I memorized all the fixed sentence patterns the teacher taught us. I gradually figured out the patterns behind the Chinese reading questions and began to understand where the marks were awarded. Among my chosen subjects, history and geography were naturally as good as ever. I even had an exceptional performance in history once, ranking second in the entire school.
But I really couldn't learn mathematics and physics. It wasn't that I had never done well in them, but my results were completely unstable. If someone calculated the variance of my scores, it would definitely be frighteningly large. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't understand why a problem had to be solved that way or why it could be solved that way. When I listened to the teacher explain a problem, I seemed to understand everything, but when I actually tried to solve it, my mind was still blank.
I didn't want to admit that my talent ended there. I didn't give up.
But this time, I failed. It wasn't the kind of one-point difference seen in stories. I was five points short—exactly the value of one mathematics multiple-choice question.
"After all, I'm not good at solving problems."
And so I entered university without any expectations. It was also a century-old school, a genuine 211 university, and an extension of high school in many ways. I had been admitted to the university's strongest major, whose postgraduate recommendation rate exceeded fifty percent.
But I had no passion for the major at all. Even if I wanted to transfer, there was nothing else at the school that interested me more. When I reached graduate school, perhaps I could steer myself toward a field I liked. But even if I succeeded, it would only barely touch on my interests, far from the dreams I had held as a child.
It was around this period that I became even more obsessed with idols than before.
"This was when I came here," Shiko said.
The sea stretched endlessly into the distance, making her feel refreshed.
And beside her was the person she admired.
Blue Skies About the Future
In the sea breeze, Shiko opened her panel.
Keyboard Technique Lv7 Music Production Lv7
She had gradually set foot on this path. The farther she went, the more firmly she believed she had made the right choice. Only here could she pour out her passion and display her talent. However, an obstacle still remained before them: how to return to reality. Only in real society could her dream—and their dream—possibly come true. This was not merely her hope, but the hope of everyone, including Miss Marina and Miss Niiki.
Ichiri quietly let out a breath of relief. The corners of her eyes relaxed.
"Does that mean Shiko will continue down her current path?"
Shiko nodded. "Yes."
"That's good..." Ichiri sighed. After hesitating several times, she asked, "Um... after we return to reality... could you take me to see your hometown?"
Shiko looked a little surprised. "I didn't expect Ichiri to want to travel... Although I don't want to say something that sounds like a flag, sure."
"Hehe... I'll do my best..." Ichiri began to giggle foolishly.
"Uh? Do your best at what? Starting now?" Shiko realized that Ichiri seemed to have entered her own world again. What is she thinking about? Since we're going abroad, is she thinking she needs to study foreign languages hard and learn to survive normally in an unfamiliar environment...? Is that it? But I don't think Ichiri's problem is whether she knows a foreign language...
Shiko also gradually entered her own world.
"Although I'm sorry to disturb you, Wu-san." Yukina patted Shiko on the shoulder. "Could you come over? I'd like to discuss our transportation arrangements."
"Huh? Oh." Shiko flicked her right hand, and the glass bowl and remaining shaved ice dissolved into particles and scattered. She stood up, stretched, eased the numbness from sitting for so long, and followed Yukina to the table.
Ichiri could still hear the discussion from inside. There was only one wall between them, and they hadn't deliberately lowered their voices. So even though Ichiri wasn't interested, the sounds still entered her ears and were processed by her brain into information. Most of that information would flow away in the river of forgetting. Only a small part would strike a reef and remain at the bottom of the subconscious, waiting to be dredged up by chance sometime in the future, making her remember that "something like this happened."
So Ichiri simply listened quietly, without trying to cover her ears.
Her mood was joyful. She had always been worried. Shiko's process of joining the band hadn't gone smoothly; would she leave one day? Now, she had received confirmation from Shiko that Shiko would remain in the band. That tiny assurance fell into the bottomless lake of Ichiri's heart and stirred up small ripples of happiness. Did her expression look foolish from the outside? Fortunately, no one was watching. No, no—Kita might be hiding in some corner... But if it was Kita, perhaps it didn't matter...
At some point, the conversation inside had shifted from transportation to arrangements for the future.
"...Just now, you seemed to mention Wu-san's hometown," Yukina said.
"Yes." Shiko propped up her left cheek and gazed at the tide outside the door. "Speaking of that, since we still have to go to the estuary, perhaps I'll be able to see the form of the greatest spring tide, something I've never witnessed before."
"The spring tide... I might be interested too. After returning to reality, I may go to your area and see the river tide."
Shiko raised her head slightly. "Oh? Then will you come with Ichiri?"
Yukina smiled and shook her head. "Not necessarily together... Speaking of reality, I wonder how much time has passed there."
Shiko lowered her head again. "Even if the flow of time is one-to-one, it's still been a long time. Our funerals may already have been held. Oh, probably no one would hold a funeral for me." The last sentence was only a mutter, and Yukina didn't hear it clearly.
"Funerals..." Yukina thought of her family and the friends she had left behind in reality, and her mood sank as well. "The deadline for Future World Fes must have passed long ago too, right?"
"Even if we miss it once, there'll be another time." Shiko consoled her. "Once Roselia stands on the stage of Future World Fes, Roselia should continue down the path of becoming a professional band, right?"
"It's too early to discuss that." Yukina took a sip of water. "But yes, Roselia might set foot on the path of becoming a professional band."
So Roselia is going to become a professional band... That's amazing, but not surprising... Outside, Ichiri let her thoughts wander freely.
"What about you?" Yukina asked.
Shiko changed positions and propped up the other side of her face with her other hand.
"Me...? I'll become a member of Kessoku Band and turn the band into a star. That's our promise—let's aim for Budokan first. After that..." A trace of irritation colored her voice. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Yukina felt that there was something deeper behind her words.
"Yes." Shiko sighed. "My attitude toward Kessoku Band is different from everyone else's."
"At first, I only wanted to become their first and most loyal supporter. But fate led me to become Kessoku Band's keyboardist. Still, I've always felt that Kessoku Band was best with only the four of them." Shiko confided the words she had kept buried in her heart to Yukina. "Ichiri, Kita, Nijika, and Ryo. That four-person band is Kessoku Band. Whether one person is missing or an extra person is added, it gives me a powerful sense of... disconnection. So, at first, I planned to leave Kessoku Band once everything was over. After that, I might become an independent music producer, like... Miss Niiki."
Huh? Ichiri's thoughts froze.
Inside, the conversation continued.
"But that was only my initial thought." Yukina noticed the way she had phrased it.
"Yes." Shiko drained the juice in her hand and absentmindedly rocked the cup, her eyes following the swaying straw. "If I leave the band, it means I can't maintain the same relationship with the original members. Even if I meet them, I won't know how to interact with them. I could only turn my head away and pretend I hadn't seen them."
"I... absolutely don't want that. I absolutely don't want to become like that with them. I hope we can always remain friends—better than ordinary friends, like family. I can't say that to them. I can't even bring it up."
"But then I can't restore the Kessoku Band in my heart to its original state either."
"Those two ideas contradict and clash inside me, just like my two personalities do now."
"I see." Yukina thought for a while. "I can't answer this question for you. There's still plenty of time. I hope you can slowly find the answer. But from my personal perspective..." She put down her cup. "I'd rather see you remain Kessoku Band's keyboardist, Wu-san."
A ripple appeared in Shiko's eyes. "Thank you."
"Minato-senpai..." Kita approached from a distance. Her entire body was soaked by seawater, and her red hair clung to the side of her face.
"Ah, it seems something happened." Yukina stood up. "Excuse me."
"Mm, goodbye." Shiko didn't move, but she raised her head.
Yukina walked outside. She suddenly saw Ichiri sitting on the ground, her face pale. Only then did she realize Ichiri was there. Ichiri had made no sound earlier, causing Yukina to completely overlook her. Had she heard their entire conversation? Yukina realized that they had just discussed topics unsuitable for the other members of Kessoku Band—especially Gotou-san—to hear.
"...I'm sorry," she whispered, then hurried toward Kita.
Watching Yukina leave, Ichiri didn't react at all. Somehow, she had already stood up and glanced back into the room. Shiko was boredly refilling her juice.
Before her thoughts could move, her body did.
Shiko's Blade
It hurt so much. Ichiri took one step. She entered the room. When she saw Ichiri, Shiko seemed to realize something, and her expression became strained.
Shiko was going to leave the band. That was all Ichiri had heard.
It was so painful. She couldn't think of anything. The thought I've been betrayed wrapped itself around everything that flashed through her mind.
Shiko had promised to keep writing songs for her. Betrayed. Shiko had promised to return to her hometown with her. Betrayed. Shiko was going to leave the band. Betrayed. Shiko was going to leave her. Betrayed. She couldn't leave Shiko. Betrayed. A life without Shiko wasn't a life. Betrayed.
Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed. Betrayed.
Her body gradually ceased to belong to her. A buzzing filled her ears. The world spun and twisted. Everything except Shiko was blurred. Only Shiko was clear. Ichiri could only go there.
"...Shiko." Ichiri's voice was so faint that she could barely hear it herself, but Shiko still heard her.
"...Yes." Shiko didn't dare look into Ichiri's eyes. "You heard?"
"I heard." Ichiri's voice sounded wrong.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept it from you..."
"Why?" For the first time, Ichiri interrupted someone. Somewhere in her unconsciousness, she felt that a taboo had been broken.
"Why? Why did you lie to me?" Ichiri's voice had already become tearful. Without realizing it, she had come to stand before Shiko, both hands gripping her shoulders.
Shiko looked up at her. Tears of anger streamed freely down Ichiri's delicate face. Another drop fell onto Shiko's face and slid into her mouth.
It was so salty.
"Lie...? I didn't..."
"Liar!" Ichiri screamed at the top of her voice.
"Didn't you promise...? You'd write songs for me... We'd go to your hometown together... Didn't you say you wouldn't give up on the path you're on..."
"I meant I wouldn't give up on music..." Shiko explained weakly, her voice growing quieter.
"Why...? I just... want to be with Shiko. Shiko was my first friend. Shiko is special to me. No matter what, I want to stay with Shiko and never separate, even for my whole life. Do you feel the same? Ah... if Shiko leaves the band, we won't be able to stay together. My life will return to how it was before. It was so dark and lonely. Don't... sob... I can't live without Shiko... Could it be that you're not like this? Am I just an ordinary friend to you? Like Yukina-san? Like Ako-san? Like Kita? Could you still live without me? I only want to be a little more important in your heart. Just a little. A little more important than the Kessoku Band in your heart. Just a little is enough... Really... Every time I see Shiko being so close with someone else, it hurts so much... Haa... Shiko doesn't belong only to me... Why? Isn't having me enough? Have I not done enough? Am I still not enough to make Shiko like me? I really like Shiko... Sob... Like you, I really like you, I like you the most, sob... If I can't see Shiko for even one day, I'll go crazy. I'm wearing the clothes Shiko made, eating food created from Shiko's imagination, hearing Shiko's voice in my ears, playing songs Shiko wrote, with nothing but Shiko in my mind. So, Shiko, think about me too, okay? Shiko? Can't you say something? Don't stay silent. I want to hear what you think... What do you think of me?"
Before she realized it, Shiko had been pressed to the ground. Ichiri's legs tightly pinned Shiko down, preventing her from escaping.
"Waaah... Shiko, don't avoid my eyes. Look at me, okay? When Shiko first came to talk to me, I felt as if the whole world had lit up. Those lonely, painful days no longer existed. To me... to me... Shiko is the sun that illuminates my life. People can't live without the sun... Without the sun, they die... right? Yes... Shiko gave me life. Shiko, are you listening? Don't make that expression. Don't be afraid of me... I'm Ichiri... Your first friend. I—I'm Shiko's first friend, right? Let me hear Shiko's voice. Let me confirm it, okay? I want to hear Shiko say, 'Ichiri is my best friend.' That one sentence is enough. That's what Shiko really thinks too, right? Is it? I feel like I don't understand Shiko at all... Why...? Sob... Even if it isn't true, it's okay. If I hear that one sentence, I can regain my life... That's something simple for Shiko, right? Just say it to me like you usually do. Please... Don't despise me. I'll always stay by Shiko's side. Do you think I'm too gloomy? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Shiko isn't a shut-in anymore, but I'm still this gloomy. I'm really sorry. Being alive feels the same as being dead... Waaah... Give me a chance. I'll change. I really will. I'll use every bit of effort in my life to change... You know I practice guitar for six hours every day. I have plenty of determination. So believe me, I'll soon become the kind of person Shiko likes. Will Shiko accept me then? Or will I still not be good enough? Is my guitar playing still not good enough? Or am I not pretty enough? What type do you like? Do I need plastic surgery? Then I'll use all my time except eating and sleeping to practice guitar... But then I won't have time to change my personality. Shiko, tell me quickly. What exactly do you dislike about me? I can only know how to work hard if I know... Waaah... Ah hehe, speaking of which, Shiko is guiding me even now, right? Hehe, Shiko really is the most important person. I can't leave Shiko. Could it be that I was born to meet Shiko? It must be. I'm alive, I play guitar, breathe, eat, sleep, wake up, and fight—all so I can be with Shiko. Otherwise, I wouldn't like Shiko this much. I really like Shiko so much. Even this distance is too far. I want to be closer... Can I get a little closer to you? You're not saying anything? Then I'll take that as consent, okay? How strange. I actually want to get close to someone. Could it be that my personality is beginning to change? Ah hehe, but Shiko isn't someone else, right? No matter how close Shiko and I become, it's reasonable. It's only natural. Everything was decided long ago. Yes... haha... Everything is destined... Looks like I still haven't changed. What should I do? Teach me, Shiko... Tell me how to change my gloomy personality. Haven't you already changed? How did you do it? If Shiko can do it, why can't I? Can't I become like Shiko? Sob... Can't I stand beside Shiko? Impossible... Ah... Shiko, tell me it's impossible, or I'll go crazy right now... Make another promise to me. As long as I work hard, I can definitely be with Shiko, right? Don't break your promise this time, okay? At least... I hope Shiko can stay by my side right now... I like you... I love you... I can't hold it in anymore... Can you hold me tightly? Although it's strange... Can you? Really? Can someone like me, who's like a yatsu-no-kami snake, really stay in Shiko's arms? Thank you, thank you so much... I can live again... Can we stay like this for a while? Although I want it to last forever... No, no, just for a little while is enough. Just a little while, and I'll be able to control myself. You won't have to trouble yourself anymore... But will you hug me again in the future? Will you still talk to me? While we're at it, don't just make me speak. Shiko, say something too. I normally don't talk this much. Shiko knows that better than anyone, right? So don't put so much pressure on me. Open your mouth. Even if it's only to call my name. Just say 'Ichiri'... Shiko, huh? I'm calling you. Are you listening? Shiko, Shiko, sob, Shiko, Shiko, Shiko, Shiko, waaah, Shiko, Shiko..."
Ichiri didn't know what she was saying. It seemed she had exhausted every word of her life. She simply kept pouring out her feelings to the only clear figure in the universe. So she didn't notice Kita approaching the doorway.
Kita stood where Ichiri had been moments before, one hand braced against the wall and the other pressed to her chest. Tears swirled in her eyes, and she barely managed to keep them from falling. Perhaps they had already fallen, but mixed with the seawater, they couldn't be distinguished. She had heard every word Ichiri said and felt all of it.
[Erosion Level... 30%]
But Shiko hadn't heard anything clearly. Her consciousness was hazy.
Ichiri saw it. Shiko finally opened her eyes. She saw Ichiri crying in her arms, looked slightly surprised, and smiled gently.
Before you continue