Bah, Face-Con

Headache.

At this point, let's just eat first.

Eiji rubbed his growling stomach. "Let's grab something to eat first, before I pass out from hunger."

The three of them arrived at Ichiraku Ramen Shop.

"Three bowls of ramen, thanks."

"Please wait a moment," Big Sister Ayame said, her eyes narrowing into slits. "Long time no see, Eiji-kun."

Ichiraku Ramen Shop was a strange place—it seemed like no one ever started trouble here.

Every customer who ate here was well-behaved.

"I've been busy lately, running missions with Senior Kakashi."

Ayame hummed in acknowledgment, knowing this involved classified matters and couldn't ask further.

While the three waited for their ramen, they suddenly heard exclamations from behind.

"Whoa! Teacher Eiji, didn't expect to run into you here."

Little Naruto bounded over to the counter in a few quick steps and grandly pulled out a round little toad-shaped wallet.

"Today I'm treating for ramen! Give Teacher Eiji extra chashu, no bamboo shoots!"

Ayame smiled warmly at Naruto. "Alright! Little Naruto's treating today."

"Hehe," Naruto said, brimming with pride. "I caught a few big fish by the river today. On the way back, I ran into some scary-looking weird uncles."

"I thought they were gonna steal my fish, but instead they gave me a bunch of money and bought them off me."

"Hmm..."

Naruto pointed at the Clan Crest on Eiji's shoulder. "They had this on them too. Might be Big Brother Eiji's friends."

After saying that, Naruto plopped down right next to Eiji.

He counted on his fingers. "If that's the case, I can sell fish for pocket money from now on and buy more limited-edition instant noodles. I heard there's a special new flavor out..."

Eiji's head throbbed listening to this. Don't buy them, you little menace—how much of my salary can withstand your spending spree?

But there was good news too.

Judging from his state, those guys attacking Naruto earlier hadn't done him any real harm.

Or maybe he'd taken so many hits that his resistance had grown stronger...

Naruto asked curiously, "Teacher Eiji, can you teach me a jutsu today?"

"Nope," Eiji said, pointing at Tenzo and Kakashi. "I've got a secret mission with these two seniors."

"Alright then." Naruto looked a bit downcast, as if everyone except him was busy.

Soon the ramen arrived.

Naruto's and Eiji's bowls had more toppings than noodles. By comparison, Kakashi's and Tenzo's bowls looked... well, very clean.

"Let's eat!"

Eiji glanced sheepishly at his two companions. "Then I'll dig in too!"

Just as Eiji picked up his chopsticks, he heard a series of sharp, piercing screams.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

It startled him so much he nearly fell off his stool.

Did they not know the killing power of a battle cry opener?

How could anyone handle this?

At first, Eiji didn't think much of it—figured it was just girls messing around.

But the screams kept rising, wave after wave.

Listening closer, he heard the sound of people grabbing weapons.

"Pervert! Sisters, kill him!"

"Don't run! I swear I'll rip his dick off!"

"Beat him! Beat him to death! Lord Hokage will back us up!"

Then came wails, footsteps.

And a man's cries for help.

Eiji's expression instantly turned extremely interesting.

Don't tell me that old pervert was back in the village.

He picked up Xiao Er. "You guys eat first. I'll be right back."

The moment the words left his mouth, Eiji's figure vanished on the spot.

"Whoa, so cool! I want Teacher Eiji to teach me that next time."

Naruto sighed and pulled Eiji's bowl of noodles closer to himself.

That weird white-haired guy and the square-jawed one next to him kept staring at this bowl—he couldn't let them sneak a bite.

On the other side, Eiji had already blocked the fleeing peeping tom.

Faced with Eiji's sudden appearance, Jiraiya didn't take it seriously.

"Move! Move it, kid."

Seeing Eiji actually step aside, Jiraiya chuckled.

Soon he'd shake off these terrifying...

No.

Jiraiya was suddenly surrounded by a Water Hurricane, which then contracted into a sphere, like a Water Prison, trapping him inside.

Inside the Water Prison, streams of water turned into chains, binding Jiraiya tight.

Jiraiya's eyes were full of disbelief.

He'd let his guard down, actually getting caught by a move like this.

"How dare you! In broad daylight, under the clear sky, you peep on innocent women!"

Jiraiya struggled, "Art... gurgle gurgle... let me out..."

"Say it at the Security Division!"

Eiji's face was full of righteousness.

[As Hokage, one must uphold equality before the law]

[Lord Tobirama has proven once again that his protection of the villagers is no empty promise]

[Quest reward: You have obtained Forbidden Jutsu: Mutual Explosion Tag Technique]

Just then, the peeping victim arrived.

Hiss, Eiji sucked in a cold breath.

No good, she was swaying, ah, dizzy.

A Blonde Big Sister tightened her bathrobe and pointed angrily at Jiraiya.

"He was peeping on us bathing, laughing to himself on the side—if this gets out, how are we supposed to get married?"

"Yeah, yeah."

The girls surrounded Eiji, "Ninja-sama, you have to do right by us."

Eiji's handsome face flushed red. Don't rub, don't rub, I can't take it anymore.

Inside the Water Prison, Jiraiya was seething. I peep on you bathing, and you chase me wanting to kill me.

Now you come out wearing bathrobes with nothing underneath, pressing so tight against this white-haired brat.

And now you're not afraid of not getting married?

Tch, Face-Con!

"Alright, alright, you all go back first. I'll take this peeping tom to the Security Division right now."

With Eiji's words, they reluctantly turned back.

That look—just like White Widow staring at Superman.

That stringiness, that infatuation, that reluctance to leave.

Even Jiraiya couldn't stand it later. Painful!

Eiji clapped his hands together and dispelled the Water Prison.

Jiraiya thudded to the ground, "Kid, you play too dirty."

As he spoke, several figures appeared with a whoosh.

"Say it at the Security Division!"

With that, they tied Jiraiya up like a dumpling.

The group escorted Jiraiya and threw him into the Security Division's interrogation room.

"Lord Jiraiya, can't you pick a different hobby?"

Eiji glanced at Jiraiya and untied his ropes.

He knew these things were useless against one of the Sannin, Jiraiya.

If he got serious, the Water Prison couldn't hold him either.

"Kid, you know me?"

"One of the famous Sannin, the Hokage's personal disciple, Pervy Sage Jiraiya—who doesn't know you?"

A smile spread across Jiraiya's face. Since he was recognized, this would be easy.

"Kid, let's just go through the motions. I'll give you a book, and you let me go."

"Alright, alright," Eiji cut off Jiraiya. "It's your book that's got Senior Kakashi all worn out. I'm too young for you to ruin me like that."

"Well, that just proves my book is good..."

"Shut it! Behave yourself. This is the Security Division, not your backyard garden!"

Jiraiya looked up at Eiji and chuckled. This white-haired kid didn't look that old, but he carried himself with an air of righteousness.

Back in the day, he'd been caught plenty of times, and they'd usually let him off with a slap on the wrist.

The only ninjas who'd dared to punch him square in the face were her and Tsunade.

Eiji tossed Jiraiya paper and a pen. "Write. What did you do, why did you do it, who's behind you, and what's your goal."

He was annoyed as hell—his noodles were still sitting there uneaten!

Just then, a knock came at the door.

Kakashi walked in carrying a bowl.

"Senior Kakashi, what's this?"

"Naruto said you hadn't eaten lunch, so he asked me to bring it to you. He also told me repeatedly not to sneak a bite, or he'd stab my ass hard with a kunai."

Eiji barely held back a laugh. He noticed the word "resentment" written all over Kakashi's face.

Come to think of it, their relationship was closer, but Naruto still had no idea about Kakashi's connection to his father.

"And Naruto?"

"Tenzo took him home. After what happened last time, the Hokage has stepped up protection for him. Don't worry."

As they talked, Jiraiya's eyes suddenly went wide.

"That Naruto you're talking about—is he the little blond kid?"

"Who else would it..."

Kakashi followed the voice and saw a tall white-haired man staring at them curiously.

"Lord Jiraiya! What are you doing here!"

"Wait! Don't tell me the peeping tom Eiji caught is you."

Jiraiya's face flushed red, and he gestured for Kakashi to keep it down.

Any louder and the Hokage would hear.

Kakashi was caught between laughter and tears. Who'd have thought the legendary Lord Jiraiya would get detained by Eiji for peeping?

"I just took a look..."

Jiraiya shrugged helplessly. He should have left long ago, but a few days back he'd heard about a new bathhouse opening, full of pretty young women.

So he'd stuck around for a few days.

He asked again, "Were you just talking about Naruto?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yeah, Lord Jiraiya. Eiji is Naruto's teacher now."

"What the hell?"

A thunderclap went off in Jiraiya's head.

As an idealist, he had no prejudice against the Uchiha.

But he knew the village had never treated the Uchiha well—otherwise, they wouldn't have been shoved out to the suburbs to play security guards years ago.

So here was the problem.

Uchiha Eiji had become the teacher of Uzumaki Naruto, son of the Fourth Hokage Minato Namikaze and the current Nine-Tails Jinchuriki?

Did that make sense?

How much had the Old Man drunk to pull off something like this?

Eiji looked up at Jiraiya.

"The Hokage didn't object. Maybe he thought that having an Uchiha like me around would at least let Naruto feel what it's like to be cared for."

At those words, Kakashi and Jiraiya both fell silent.

In theory, they were the two people closest to Naruto, but neither of them had ever looked after him.

Eiji was practically slapping them in the face.

After a moment, Kakashi broke the silence.

"Eat up. You'll need to keep investigating that Wood Style Ninja after this."

"Got it."

Eiji slurped down his noodles.

Kakashi sat nearby, muttering under his breath.

"I've been rethinking things. Besides Danzo, we should also consider Orochimaru."

Eiji grunted. "But Orochimaru's whereabouts are always shifting and uncertain. Where are we supposed to find him?"

Kakashi sighed.

If anyone asked who the hardest person in the ninja world to deal with was, he'd definitely cast his vote for Orochimaru.

It had been a few years since he defected. Not only had Konoha been tracking him, they'd also put a bounty on his head.

Anyone who could provide a lead on Orochimaru would receive a substantial reward.

Even so, no one could find his trail.

Although Eiji knew Orochimaru wasn't the mastermind, taking him out would still earn system rewards.

As for Danzo, he could stir up trouble for him from time to time too.

So he didn't object.

Soon, Eiji finished his noodles too.

He wiped his mouth and walked up to Jiraiya.

"Hurry up and write. Don't delay us finding Orochi..."

Eiji suddenly stopped.

If he wanted to find Orochimaru, why not ask Jiraiya?

In the entire ninja world, if anyone knew Orochimaru best, it had to be Jiraiya.

He runs, he chases—he can't escape even if he grows wings.

Jiraiya looked up. "Kid, who did you just say?"

"Lord Jiraiya, there are some things we need to confirm with Orochimaru."

Despite Jiraiya's usual carefree attitude, the moment Orochimaru was mentioned, he changed like a different person.

He narrowed his eyes and listened carefully to the whole story from start to finish.

"Orochimaru... is he still continuing that dangerous experiment even now? That was the very reason he fled Konoha back then."

"We can't confirm it's Orochimaru's doing yet. It's just a possibility."

Jiraiya shook his head, easily pried the railing apart, and walked up to Eiji.

"Whether it's true or not, I need to find Orochimaru face to face and ask him clearly."

Kakashi asked curiously, "But Orochimaru appears and disappears like a ghost. Where do we find him?"

Jiraiya formed a few hand seals. As the smoke cleared, a huge map appeared on the table.

He slowly unrolled the map and pointed at the circled sections.

"I've been searching for Orochimaru all these years. I've destroyed countless of his secret bases."

"Based on what I know about him, Orochimaru always likes to hide at the borders of several countries. Those places are crowded and chaotic, and they involve territorial issues between different great nations."

"If we start from these spots, our chances of success are high."

Three heads of white hair gathered around the table, seriously analyzing the next course of action.

"I'll make you a copy of this map. We'll split up. This time, we have to catch Orochimaru and ask him directly."

"Then many thanks to Lord Jiraiya."

Jiraiya waved his hand, signaling it was only right.

With that, he rolled up the scroll and started walking out. "I'm off. Once I've organized the materials, I'll come find you."

"Hold on. Who said you could leave?"

Jiraiya: ?

"One thing at a time. According to Security Division regulations, ninja Jiraiya is hereby detained for seven days and fined thirty thousand ryo."