Spit, Face-Con

My head hurts.

Things had come to this, so I might as well eat first.

Eiji rubbed his growling stomach. "Let's get something to eat first. I'm starving."

The three of them arrived at Ichiraku Ramen Shop.

"Three bowls of ramen, please."

"Just a moment." Ayame's eyes narrowed into slits. "Long time no see, Eiji."

Ichiraku Ramen Shop was a truly magical place. It seemed like nobody ever caused trouble there.

Every customer who ate there was also perfectly well-behaved.

"I've been a little busy lately, carrying out missions with Senior Kakashi."

Ayame hummed in acknowledgment. She knew it involved classified information and couldn't ask any further.

While the three of them waited for their ramen, they suddenly heard a burst of excited shouts from behind them.

"Whoa! Teacher Eiji, I never expected to run into you here!"

Little Naruto rushed to the counter in three strides and pulled out his round little toad wallet with great flair.

"I'm treating everyone to ramen today! Give Teacher Eiji extra roast pork, but no bamboo shoots!"

Ayame smiled at Naruto. "All right! Little Naruto's treating us today."

"Hehe." Naruto looked extremely proud. "I went fishing by the river today and caught several big fish. On the way back, I ran into some fierce-looking uncles."

"I thought they wanted to steal my fish, but they gave me lots of money and bought them instead."

"Hmm..."

Naruto pointed at the Clan Crest on Eiji's shoulder. "They had this on them too. Maybe they're Big Brother Eiji's friends."

After saying that, Naruto happily sat down beside Eiji again.

He counted on his fingers. "If that's the case, I can sell fish for pocket money from now on and buy more limited-edition instant noodles. I think they released a special flavor recently..."

Eiji's brain hurt just listening to him. Don't buy any more, you little ancestor. How much of my salary can withstand you burning through it like this?

Still, there was some good news.

Judging from his status, those people's attack on Naruto earlier hadn't caused him any serious injury.

Or perhaps he had simply suffered too many attacks, causing his resistance to grow stronger...

Naruto asked curiously, "Teacher Eiji, can you teach me ninjutsu today?"

"Nope." Eiji pointed at Tenzo and Kakashi. "I have to carry out a secret mission with these two seniors."

"Oh, okay." Naruto looked a little dejected. It seemed that everyone except him was busy.

The ramen arrived soon after.

Naruto and Eiji's bowls had more toppings than noodles. By comparison, Kakashi and Tenzo's bowls looked... well, rather plain.

"Let's eat!"

Eiji glanced sheepishly at his two companions. "Then I'll eat too!"

Just as Eiji picked up his chopsticks, a series of sharp explosions rang out.

"AAAAAAAH!"

The sound startled him so badly that he nearly fell off his stool.

Didn't they know how much damage a battle cry could do when used as an opening move?

How was anyone supposed to endure this?

Eiji hadn't paid it much attention at first, assuming it was just a scuffle between some young women.

But the screams kept rising, wave after wave.

Listening carefully, he could also hear the sounds of people grabbing weapons.

"Peeping Tom! Sisters, kill him!"

"Don't run! I'll tear his little brother off!"

"Beat him! Beat him to death! Lord Hokage will give us justice!"

Then came the wails and the sound of footsteps.

As well as a man's cries for help.

Eiji's expression instantly became incredibly complicated.

Don't tell me that old lecher has returned to the village.

He grabbed Xiao Er. "You eat first. I'll be right back."

The moment he finished speaking, Eiji vanished from the spot.

"Wow, that was so cool! Teacher Eiji has to teach me that next time."

Naruto exclaimed in admiration, then shifted Eiji's bowl of ramen a little closer to himself.

That strange white-haired man and the square-faced man beside him had been staring at the bowl the whole time. He absolutely couldn't let them sneak a bite.

Meanwhile, Eiji had already intercepted the fleeing peeping Tom.

Jiraiya didn't take Eiji seriously when he suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Move! Get out of the way, brat!"

When Eiji actually stepped aside and left him a path, Jiraiya grinned.

He was about to escape from that pack of terrifying...

Wait.

Jiraiya was suddenly surrounded by a Water Hurricane. It then contracted into a sphere, trapping him inside like a Water Prison.

Within the Water Prison, streams of water transformed into chains and bound Jiraiya tightly.

Jiraiya's eyes were filled with disbelief.

I let my guard down and actually got caught by a technique like this.

"How dare you! In broad daylight, under the clear heavens, you actually dared to spy on respectable women!"

Jiraiya struggled. "Art... gurgle, gurgle... let me out..."

"Explain yourself at the Security Division!"

Eiji wore an expression of righteousness.

[As Hokage, one must ensure that everyone is equal before the law]

[Lord Tobirama has once again personally proven that his protection of the villagers was no empty promise]

[Quest reward: You obtained the forbidden technique—Forbidden Jutsu: Mutual Explosion Tag Technique]

At that moment, the victims who had been spied on also arrived.

Hiss... Eiji sucked in a cold breath.

No, this is too much. They're swaying all over the place... Ah, my eyes are spinning.

A Blonde Big Sister tightened her bathrobe and angrily pointed at Jiraiya.

"He's the one who spied on us while we were bathing. He even kept snickering beside us. If word gets out, how are we supposed to get married?"

"Exactly, exactly!"

The girls surrounded Eiji. "Ninja-sama, you have to give us justice!"

Eiji's handsome face flushed. Stop rubbing against me, stop rubbing against me. I can't take it anymore.

Jiraiya, trapped inside the Water Prison, was furious. I watched you bathe and you chased me down, trying to hack me to death.

But now you've come out wearing nothing beneath your bathrobes, pressing yourselves so tightly against this white-haired brat.

Weren't you worried about never getting married then?

Pah, Face-Con!

"All right, all right. You girls go back first. I'll take this peeping Tom to the Security Division."

Only after hearing Eiji say that did they reluctantly head back.

The look in their eyes was just like White Widow looking at Superman.

That lingering gaze, that infatuation, that reluctance to leave...

Even Jiraiya couldn't stand watching it anymore. It was painful!

Eiji clapped his hands together and dispelled the Water Prison.

Jiraiya crashed to the ground with a thump. "Brat, you hit way too hard!"

As he spoke, several figures appeared in a blur.

"Explain yourself at the Security Division!"

As they spoke, they tied Jiraiya up like a rice dumpling.

The group escorted Jiraiya to the Security Division and threw him into an interrogation room.

"Lord Jiraiya, couldn't you pick up a different hobby?"

Eiji glanced at Jiraiya and undid his ropes.

He knew these things were completely useless against one of the Legendary Sannin, Jiraiya.

If Jiraiya got serious, even the Water Prison couldn't hold him.

"Brat, you know me?"

"One of the famous Legendary Sannin, Lord Hokage's personal disciple, Pervy Sage Jiraiya. Who doesn't know you?"

A smile appeared on Jiraiya's face. Since the brat knew him, this would be easy.

"Brat, let's just go through the motions. I'll give you one of my books, and you let me go."

"Enough, enough." Eiji stopped Jiraiya. "Your books made even Senior Kakashi go blind. I'm still young, so don't ruin me."

"That only proves my books are good..."

"Shut up! Behave yourself! This is the Security Division, not your backyard!"

Jiraiya looked up at Eiji. Hey, this white-haired kid doesn't look very old, but he certainly has an air of righteousness.

In the past, he had often been caught as well, but people usually let him go after making a token effort.

The only ninjas who had ever dared to come up and punch him twice were himself and Tsunade.

Eiji tossed Jiraiya paper and a pen. "Write down what you did, why you did it, who's behind you, and what your objective is."

He was terribly annoyed. My ramen is still sitting over there untouched!

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

Kakashi walked in carrying a bowl.

"Senior Kakashi, what are you doing here?"

"Naruto said you hadn't eaten lunch, so he asked me to bring this to you. He also repeatedly warned me not to sneak a bite, or he'd stab me in the butt with a Kunai."

Eiji forcibly held back his laughter. He noticed the two words "deeply aggrieved" written all over Kakashi's face.

It made sense. Their relationship was clearly closer, yet even now Naruto still didn't know about Kakashi's relationship with his father.

"Where's Naruto, then?"

"Tenzo took him home. After what happened last time, Lord Hokage increased the protective measures around Naruto. Don't worry."

As the two of them spoke, Jiraiya suddenly widened his eyes.

"The Naruto you're talking about—is he that yellow-haired brat?"

"If it isn't him, then who...?"

Kakashi followed the direction of the voice and found a tall white-haired man watching them curiously.

"Lord Jiraiya! What are you doing here?"

"Wait a minute! The peeping Tom Eiji mentioned was you?"

Jiraiya's old face reddened, and he gestured for Kakashi to lower his voice.

Any louder and the Hokage will hear you.

Kakashi was both amused and exasperated. Who could have imagined that the famous Lord Jiraiya would be detained by Eiji for peeping?

"I only took a look..."

Jiraiya spread his hands helplessly. He should have left long ago, but a few days earlier he had heard that a new bathhouse had opened with plenty of beautiful young women inside.

So he had stayed for a few days.

He asked again, "The Naruto you were talking about just now?"

Kakashi nodded. "That's right, Lord Jiraiya. Eiji is Naruto's teacher now."

"What?"

A thunderclap seemed to explode in Jiraiya's head.

As an idealist, he had no particular prejudice against the Uchiha.

But he knew that the village had never treated the Uchiha very well. Otherwise, they wouldn't have been driven to the outskirts a few years ago to work as guards.

And now a problem had appeared.

Uchiha Eiji had become the teacher of the Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze's son—and the current Nine-Tails Jinchuriki, Uzumaki Naruto?

Did this make any sense?

How much alcohol did that Old Man have to drink to come up with this?

Eiji looked up at Jiraiya.

"Lord Hokage didn't object. Perhaps he felt that having an Uchiha like me around would at least let Naruto experience what it feels like to be cared for."

At those words, Kakashi and Jiraiya both fell silent.

In theory, they were the two people closest to Naruto. Yet neither of them had looked after him.

Eiji had practically slapped them both in the face.

After a while, Kakashi finally broke the silence.

"Eat quickly. Once you're done, we still have to continue investigating that Wood Style Ninja."

"Got it."

Eiji slurped down his ramen.

Kakashi sat beside him and muttered under his breath.

"I organized my thoughts again just now. Besides Danzo, we also have to consider Orochimaru."

Eiji hummed in acknowledgment. "But Orochimaru's whereabouts are unpredictable. Where should we look for him?"

Kakashi sighed.

If one were to ask who in the Shinobi World was the hardest to deal with, he would definitely cast his vote for Orochimaru.

Orochimaru had been a rogue ninja for several years. Not only had Konoha been searching for him, but it had also issued a bounty.

Anyone who could provide information on Orochimaru would receive a substantial reward.

Even so, no one had been able to find him.

Although Eiji knew Orochimaru was not the mastermind, killing him would surely earn a reward from the system as well.

As for Danzo, Eiji occasionally messed with him too.

So he did not object.

Eiji soon finished his noodles as well.

He wiped his mouth and walked over to Jiraiya.

"Hurry up and write. Don't delay us from finding Orochi—"

Eiji suddenly stopped.

If they wanted to find Orochimaru, why not ask Jiraiya?

In the Shinobi World, if there was anyone who knew Orochimaru best, it was undoubtedly Jiraiya.

One fled, the other chased, and the fugitive could never escape.

Jiraiya raised his head. "Kid, who did you just mention?"

"Jiraiya, we need to find Orochimaru to confirm a few things."

Usually, Jiraiya was carefree and boisterous, but the moment Orochimaru was mentioned, he seemed to become an entirely different person.

He narrowed his eyes and listened carefully as Eiji explained everything from beginning to end.

"Orochimaru is still continuing that dangerous experiment? It was because of that very matter that he fled Konoha all those years ago."

"We can't confirm that it was Orochimaru's doing yet. It's only a possibility."

Jiraiya shook his head, easily pried the bars apart, and walked over to Eiji.

"Whether it's true or not, I'm going to find Orochimaru and question him face-to-face."

Kakashi asked curiously, "But Orochimaru is elusive. Where are we supposed to find him?"

Jiraiya formed several hand seals. As the smoke cleared, a huge map appeared on the table.

He slowly unfolded the map and pointed to the areas marked with circles.

"I've been searching for Orochimaru all these years and destroyed countless of his secret bases."

"Based on what I know about him, Orochimaru always likes to hide near the borders where several countries meet. There are many people there, and the area involves the territorial disputes of different great nations."

"If we start with these places, our chances of success will be quite high."

The three white-haired men gathered around the table and seriously analyzed their next course of action.

"I'll make a copy of the map for you. We'll split up and act separately. This time, we must catch Orochimaru and question him face-to-face."

"Then thank you, Jiraiya."

Jiraiya waved his hand, indicating that it was only what he should do.

As he spoke, he put away the scroll and headed outside. "I'm off. I'll come find you after I've organized the materials."

"Wait. Who said you could leave?"

Jiraiya: ?

"One matter has nothing to do with the other. According to the Security Division regulations, the ninja Jiraiya is hereby detained for seven days and fined thirty thousand ryo."