The Absurdist Strikes Back

Holy crap?

Is the main character finally here?

Is someone who doesn't run away even human?

Xu Yi only wanted to gather information tonight; he wasn't planning on actually fighting!

But when they went outside, they were stunned to see a large truck slowly driving towards them in the dark.

If he goes out now, he'll definitely be run over like a speed bump and become a clingy little devil.

"Hey, do you have a white coat, schoolgirl?"

"There are no white lab coats, but there are white lace dresses."

"... Fine, who says white lace can't be worn as a white coat?"

Xu Yi put on his white coat and walked towards the door, but the female student refused to come downstairs.

"Master Chef, you can go down now. I'm too ashamed to face my uncle."

Having spoiled the old man's pigs, how could she dare to see him now?

"Whatever you want."

Xu Yi waved his hand dismissively.

On the transport truck, Du Rufeng was on the phone with Du Zhanfeng.

"Sir, I've been waiting for you at the airport for ages. Why didn't you wait for me and went home first?"

"Nephew, I know you're filial, but I have something extremely urgent to attend to and really can't wait for you!"

"Sir, it's just a bodybuilding competition. You've won every time, why are you in such a hurry this time?"

"You don't understand. Natural fitness is outdated now. Everyone's using technology, injecting needles one by one, which is too cautious. I have to use more extreme methods."

Du Rufeng's lips twitched as he listened.

Goodness, is this what "steady and methodical" means?

Du Zhanfeng looked at the beehives and needle marks on his arm, feeling sorry for himself while secretly cursing those idiots who work out abroad.

Damn it, this isn't a bodybuilding competition anymore, it should just be called a needle-pricking competition.

Whether we evolve into a new kind of human or not, we'll definitely turn into a giant oil field.

If there's ever an oil crisis, just grab a few people and put them in oil refining; that would directly alleviate the world's oil crisis for fifty years!

"Nephew, how's my trump card coming along? Nothing's happened, is it?"

"Don't worry, I've cut off all my little sister's allowance to raise the pig for you. She's been taking care of that pig every day for the past two years, and it's gotten so plump and healthy!"

Upon hearing this, Du Zhanfeng beamed with joy, finally relieved.

"Sir, after you've eaten the pork, could you also help me get rid of someone?"

After finishing discussing business, Du Rufeng spoke cautiously.

"You're the only son of the Du Family, is there anyone you, Young Master Du, can't handle?"

The truck stopped, Du Zhanfeng grinned as he looked at the Villa gate that was so close at hand.

We've finally arrived.

"That kid has some connection to the Huang family, but that's not the problem. The problem is that he's a bit abstract; I can't handle him, but you'll definitely be fine with him. Crushing him will be like crushing an ant!"

"Sure, sure! I'll go kill that brat for you as soon as I finish eating the meat!"

Du Zhanfeng laughed three times, pushed open the door, and bumped into a suspicious-looking person.

The two stared at each other, wide-eyed.

Xu Yi exclaimed that the prison was terrible!

Is this even human?

Could it be that Arno Schwarzenegger has possessed her, and the tumor has become a spirit?

He has a pointed head, a muscular body, and is nearly 1.9 meters tall.

Needless to say, this must be Du Rufeng's uncle.

Where is my niece?

"She doesn't want to see you, and told me to come down and open the door for you."

Xu Yi stood in front of the door, not daring to let Du Zhanfeng in.

It's hard to explain now. If he actually comes in and sees that Big White Pig, wouldn't it be even harder to explain?

"Who are you?"

"As you can see, I'm wearing a white coat. Could there be any other answer besides that I'm a doctor?"

"Doctor, do you think I'm an idiot? This Villa is where my niece raises pigs, and you're here to be a doctor?"

"What? Can't Veterinarian call himself a doctor?"

"Putting aside whether you're Veterinarian or not, I just want to ask, why is your white coat made of lace?"

As Du Zhanfeng spoke, the fleshy bulges all over his body began to exert force, making the Livestream Viewers tremble with fear.

"Oh no, Xu Yi has been caught cheating!"

"Look at those muscles, look at those huge, round eyes, Xu Yi's going to hit the jackpot today!"

"With this old man's physique, Xu Yi is practically a speed bump to him, isn't he?"

"Speed bumps for trucks? So everyone's just trying their best to make a living?"

"Isn't Xu Yi a doctor? Why do you all think he's finished?"

"Upstairs, do you even believe that yourself? A man and a woman alone at night, one soaking wet and the other wearing lace, and you're telling me this is a doctor seeing a patient?"

"Six hundred and sixty-six, it doesn't seem like much without explanation, but it feels even more exciting after the explanation!"

The Livestream Viewers were gloating, all eagerly awaiting the scene of Xu Yi begging for mercy.

Anyone else would have panicked by now, but Xu Yi remained calm under pressure.

That's just how Abstract Guy are!

In this version of Earth OL, the Abstract Guy's dating skills are practically nonexistent. Even someone as handsome as you, our readers and viewers, can only excel in online dating. In real life, it's a disaster.

However, in terms of pressure skills, the Abstract Guy not only scores full marks, but also comes with a built-in critical hit.

For example, PUA tactics from Boss, teachers, or even workplace unspoken rules are completely ineffective against Abstract Guy and can even backfire.

"You rascal, wasn't this prepared for you?"

A gentle breeze blew, Xu Yi cast a flirtatious glance, her lace battle robe fluttering in the wind.

"Holy shit!"

What do you want to do?

"Believe it or not, I'll hit you?"

Have you ever seen a fist the size of a sandbag? You better behave yourself!

Du Zhanfeng felt a chill run down his spine and raised his fist as if to threaten him.

"Fists and kicks?"

Xu Yi casually pulled out two Thai style small leather whips and looked at Du Zhanfeng with a smile.

"Unfortunately, I also know a little bit of martial arts!"

"..."

The Abstract Guy activated his critical strike armor, and with a gentle flick of his two Little Whip, the pain was excruciating, Du Zhanfeng immediately gave up resisting!

[Negative emotions +100]

Waaah, my dear niece, I was wrong. I'll never force you to raise pigs again.

You'd better stop using your supernatural powers right now.

On the other hand, why can't we talk things out calmly among family members?

They've brought in this kind of deity; they're really trying to kill this old man!

"Six hundred and sixty-six! Where's that kid who just said the big truck was about to start? Come out and talk!"

"I knew it. When it comes to being monstrous, no one can beat Xu Yi. Don't let his big size fool you; he's just a useless iron lung!"

"So the gym is only for building stiff muscles; you can't even handle two Little Whip?"

"Stop talking nonsense upstairs. Do you think Xu Yi's two Little Whip are just for show? Have you asked those dozens of people in the fraud ring?"

The Livestream Viewers were buzzing with discussion, while Xiao Heizi trembled with fear and dared not utter a word.

Do you think begging for mercy will work?

Xu Yi said leisurely.

The Livestream Viewers were just watching the show, but Xu Yi actually acted like a complete pervert, disgusting himself with his own behavior.

"Doctor, I have money. How much do you want? I can compensate you for emotional distress!"