Chapter 45

At the same time Sif said this, Guan Heng sprang up from his seat and ran for the door. "A man with black hair and black eyes, right? I'll go find him for you right now!"

"Don't let him get away! The fortune-telling said it was this guy!" Tony shouted without mercy.

A spear suddenly blocked Guan Heng's path. "Black-haired man, take one more step and I'll run you through!" Goddess Sif said coldly.

Guan Heng slowly turned around, his face now dark as the bottom of a pot. "Tony Stark, you damn well sold out your business partner and best buddy! That's no way to treat a friend. You know I hate getting dragged into trouble, yet you went and landed me in it anyway. What have I ever done to you?"

Tony shrugged. "A friend's in trouble, and you try to sneak off. Leaving me here would be even less loyal. We might as well jump into the pit together. Neither of us is getting out."

Guan Heng turned to Sif and Thor. "You two great gods, I'm only here by pure coincidence today. I'm just an extra with no role to play. Besides, there are plenty of black-haired, black-eyed people where you're looking—in Manhattan's South End, down in Chinatown. You can search there."

With tears in his heart, Guan Heng thought, I'm really sorry, my fellow Huaxians. I have no choice. They're forcing me.

"Ahem." Thor cleared his throat. "According to the Asgardian fortune-teller, the Eastern-looking person we're searching for often wears a red opera-mask."

Guan Heng's heart began to pound, and sweat beaded on his forehead.

"The fortune also said that the person had just received a vast fortune bestowed by the gods in a place surrounded by water," Sif added.

Guan Heng grew flustered, sweating from head to toe.

"Most importantly, the fortune-telling said the most precious part of the treasure wasn't jewelry," Thor said, "but the Revelation of Ice and Fire."

Tony fanned the flames from the side. "That's right, it's Guan Heng! I saw it with my own eyes. The evidence is irrefutable!" Guan Heng slumped back into his seat, muttering, "Damn it. If I ever get the chance to go to Asgard, I'm going to grab that fortune-teller and beat him senseless. Then I'll ask him, 'What have I ever done to you? Why the hell did you set me up like this?'"

Thor looked at him with earnest eyes. "Guan Heng, you're my only hope now. For old times' sake, help me out. I'll never forget this great favor."

"Of course, we people of the Divine Realm are reasonable," Sif said, her tone still cold. "If you don't want to do it, we won't force you."

"Not force me?" Guan Heng looked at the spear in Sif's hand, its tip practically at the end of his nose. Sweat streamed down his head. "I've never met a woman whose words and actions contradicted each other so much."

"Hahaha! Thor, my old friend!" Guan Heng tilted his head away from the spear as much as he could. "I'll help. Now get this fierce warrior woman to back off!"

"Thank you, Guan Heng!" Thor was overjoyed. "You really are a good friend. My father, Odin, has fallen asleep again. If he wakes up and hears about this, he'll chew me out. We need to hurry, too. Father is regaining his divine power through sleep, and he's weak and helpless. I have to get back to Asgard as soon as possible."

"Hold on. Let me sort out what happened," Guan Heng said, rubbing his chin as he thought. "The idiot who stole your belt must be someone you know. An ordinary person couldn't come and go freely in Asgard, let alone take a belt from your bedroom."

Guan Heng stood up and paced around the office. Suddenly, he looked up. "Thor's belt is the source of his strength. My guess is the thief wanted to make him impotent."

Pfft! Tony burst out laughing.

"Shut up!" Sif glared at Tony and pounded her spear against the floor, making it thud. Tony quickly choked back his laughter.

Thor, however, took the theory seriously and remained absorbed in Guan Heng's analysis. "Who would be so bored? Besides, even without my belt, I'm still very powerful. If you don't believe me, ask her." He looked up at Sif. Her face was bright red, and she glared at him as if she wanted to kill him. Thor quickly clamped his mouth shut.

"Mm, that possibility isn't very likely," Guan Heng continued. "That means someone stole your belt to make you leave Asgard in a hurry to look for it. It's a diversion. But there's no point talking about it now. We need to find a clue to where Thor's belt is—at least get a general idea of its location."

A sudden flash of inspiration struck Guan Heng. "I've got it! Come with me." Then he asked Thor and Sif, "Can either of your divine powers cure a headache?"

Guan Heng was about to take Thor and Sif out when he saw Tony preparing to follow. He snorted. "You sold me out this time. I'm not bringing you along. You're staying here."

Tony had already changed into his armor. He grinned. "Old friend, one more person means one more helping hand. I'll help you now to make up for what I did earlier."

"Suit yourself," Guan Heng said with a smile. "But let's get one thing straight. When trouble comes, everyone fends for themselves. Handle your own problems. Don't expect me to stop and save you."

"Hahaha! We'll see who ends up saving whom." Tony patted Guan Heng on the shoulder. "I know you're all bark and no bite, kid." Iron Man had long since seen through Guan Heng's bluster. His friend had never once abandoned him.

A short while later, Guan Heng led everyone to the villa he had lived in before.

Bang! Guan Heng kicked the door open and shouted, "Simon Aleshek! You owed me one cent in your previous life, and now I'm here to collect. Get out here and welcome me!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Simon came tumbling down the stairs from a second-floor room. He looked miserable as he said to Guan Heng, "You walking calamity. Whenever you show up, something bad is bound to happen."

In the villa's living room, Guan Heng addressed everyone with great seriousness. "Everyone, I want you to keep what happens today strictly secret. I don't want my friend Simon's ability to get out. That way, I can trust him to help Thor. Swear your oaths now."

"I, Thor, swear here and now to keep all of Simon's secrets. If I break this oath, may my divine power be destroyed and may I suffer eternal ruin."

"I, Sif, Goddess of Land and Harvest, swear here and now to keep all of Simon's secrets. If I break this oath, may my divine power be destroyed and may I suffer eternal ruin."

"I, Tony Stark, Iron Man, swear here and now to keep all of Simon's secrets." After everyone had solemnly made their oaths, Sif asked curiously, "Now that we've sworn, how do you plan to have him help us find the missing item?"

"My friend Simon has a special ability that should let him find some clues," Guan Heng explained. "But during the process, he'll have an extreme headache. Does anyone know how to ease it so he can use his ability?"

"That's easy." Sif casually plucked a hair from her thick golden locks. "I'm the Goddess of Land and Harvest, and I possess a powerful Healing Ability. If I bestow this hair on Mr. Simon, he won't suffer any pain. As long as I'm alive, this protection will remain in effect." As she spoke, she chanted a spell. The golden hair slipped into Simon's hair, flashed with light, and disappeared in an instant.

From Here On

So Sif's hair had this kind of power? Guan Heng's mind began to turn. A powerful Healing Ability. I should find a chance to ask her for a lock, just in case.

Simon was still standing there, dumbfounded. He muttered, "Good heavens, the Norse gods are standing right in front of me, alive and real. I—I can't believe my eyes!"

Guan Heng slapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, snap out of it! I've already cured your headaches. Now it's time to return the favor."

Simon came back to his senses and asked blankly, "I—I can help a god? How?"

"What else could you do? You've only got that one ability." Guan Heng pursed his lips, then asked Thor, "What part of your clothing is closest to your belt?"

Thor rubbed his chin as he replied, "Hmm, the part closest to the belt? Of course, my pants."

"Exactly." Guan Heng snapped his fingers, his face dark as he gave a sinister grin. "Hurry up and tear off a strip of your pants, so my good brother Simon can have a taste."

With a ripping sound, Thor did as he was told, tore off a strip of cloth from his pants, and handed it over.

"Go on, Simon, my friend." Guan Heng spoke like a salesman. "These are Thor's pants. You don't get to eat them every day. They're an absolute delicacy."

Simon's eyes brimmed with tears. "If they're really such a delicacy, why don't you eat them yourself?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't like this sort of thing, and I don't have your one-in-a-million Food Spirit User ability," Guan Heng snorted. "I could eat eight or ten pairs of pants and it wouldn't do me a damn bit of good. Stop hesitating and eat!"

Simon looked thoroughly unwilling. Fighting his disgust, he tossed the scrap of Thor's pants into his mouth and chewed. Fragments of information poured into his mind. He had expected his head to hurt, but then, to his surprise, a golden light flashed above his head, and the familiar, agonizing pain vanished.

"My head really doesn't hurt! This is incredible!" Simon cried out in delight.

"Celebrate later. Tell us what you saw," Guan Heng said, eager to know what was going on.

"Well, let me think..." Simon began carefully recalling the fragments that had surfaced in his mind. "I sensed a palace far to the extreme north. Its construction was exceptionally imposing, and its surroundings were built of massive stone blocks. Its pillars resembled spears, and its roof was covered with shields and breastplates. It had hundreds of gates. Wolves guarded the western gate, and eagles circled overhead. A blurry figure was running with a black belt in their hand."

At that moment, the same flash of inspiration struck Guan Heng, Thor, and Sif. Together, they cried, "Asgard! The Divine Realm's Immortal Palace!"

"Looks like the thief who stole the belt never left Asgard with it," Guan Heng said angrily, slapping his hands together. "We're going to have to visit the Immortal Palace in the Divine Realm."

"Hey, Thor," Guan Heng called out. "How did you come down to Earth?"

"Through the Asgardian gate, across the Bifrost," Thor replied. "My brother-in-law Heimdall is the gatekeeper. I gave him two bottles of Immortal Palace Fine Wine, and he opened the gate to let Sif and me out."

Damn, the Immortal Palace Gatekeeper likes a drink? The movie never mentioned that. Guan Heng cursed inwardly. That stupid palace-drama movie didn't provide a single useful clue. I wasted sixty-five bucks on a ticket back then.

"Let's hurry outside." Everyone pushed open the door and walked onto the lawn outside the villa.

"Heimdall, in the name of Thor, lower the Bifrost!" Thor shouted toward the distant sky. He called several times, but nothing happened.

"Oh no!" Thor suddenly remembered something and clutched his head in regret. "I shouldn't have given him the wine."

Sif remembered, too. "That's right! My brother nods off whenever he drinks. He usually doesn't wake up for days. What are we going to do?" The goddess was so anxious and angry that she kept stamping her feet.

"Let me handle it. You two are too polite when you call for him." Guan Heng yelled furiously at the sky, "I'm going to report to the Allfather, Odin, that Heimdall stole Frigg's underwear!"

"Bullshit! Who's down there badmouthing me?" Heimdall, who had All-seeing All-hearing, rubbed his bleary, drunken eyes and opened the Asgardian gate high in the sky. "That's nonsense! It's slander!"

Frigg was Odin's wife. If what Guan Heng said spread, Odin's divine spear might pound Heimdall flat.

"Since you heard me, lower the Bifrost already!" Guan Heng shouted to the gatekeeper. "Someone stole Thor's belt to lure him away from Asgard, and now they're trying to cause trouble in the Immortal Palace. If we get back too late, something terrible could happen, just like when Thor was banished last time!"

"What?" At these words, Heimdall in the sky, as well as Thor and Sif on the ground, were all shocked. So that was it! Nobody present was a fool. Thinking it through, they realized Guan Heng's theory made sense.

Thor looked up at the sky and shouted, "Heimdall, send me back! Heimdall, hurry up!"

A minute later, a strange sight appeared in the sky. A dazzling, multicolored light, like an aurora, suddenly appeared right above them. With a hum, it enveloped everyone in a beam of light. Then Guan Heng and the others all became multicolored streaks and disappeared.

Simon stood at the door, dazed for a while. Suddenly, he grinned foolishly and muttered to himself, "The gods all came out here. Am I dreaming? I must be!" Smack! Simon gave himself a hard slap. "Ow! If this is a dream, why does it hurt so much?"

In the blink of an eye, everyone had arrived in Asgard with the multicolored beam. They were beside the teleportation array in the Rainbow Bridge Teleportation Chamber. A tall, muscular dark-skinned man in armor and a horned helmet stood by the array. It was Heimdall, the gatekeeper of Asgard.

"Hey, hey! What's with all these gods? Why are there so many stowaways?" Heimdall said in alarm. "If Odin finds out, I'll lose my job as gatekeeper!"

"Shut up, brother-in-law," Thor said impatiently. "I'll give you five bottles of Immortal Palace Brew when we get back. It's the stuff I hate to drink the most."

"Taking this risk for you? Ten bottles, or no deal," Heimdall muttered.

"Ten bottles it is. Let's go!" Thor shoved the gatekeeper aside and turned to call out to everyone. "I have a bad feeling. Something's happened in Asgard. Pick up the pace, everyone!"

With that, Thor took the lead and rushed toward the Immortal Palace with Guan Heng, Sif, and Iron Man.

The beautiful, majestic realm of Asgard unfolded before Guan Heng's eyes. Countless golden, resplendent buildings, the Immortal Palace—its chimneys like gilded towers clustered together—the endless, roaring Waterfall Cluster, and the Bifrost, which flashed with colored light from time to time.

Guan Heng couldn't help exclaiming, "Damn, the gods really know how to live!"