The Skies Cleared, the Rain Stopped, and Sasuke Thought He Was Invincible Again

"Ding! System notification: Quest to earn Uchiha Shisui's approval complete. Reward: one box of Durex."

"You damn system! What kind of reward is that?!"

Chen had thought he already knew just how shameless and depraved this system was, but it had successfully managed to outdo itself once again.

"Why the hell didn't you give me a box of Viagra? What on earth is going on in that brain of yours?"

"Ding! System notification: Bonus reward: one box of Viagra."

"How's that? This system's pretty generous, right? You ask, and I deliver. Am I right?"

"Thank you.

Thank my ass!

Are you messing with me on purpose? Why are you giving me this stuff? What am I supposed to do with it?!"

Chen was speechless. All this random junk was completely worthless to him, and it certainly wasn't going to make him any stronger.

"Come to think of it, it really is useless. You can't even stand up right now, can you?"

The system's voice rang out with open contempt. Chen could almost picture the system sneering at him.

"Shut up!

You damn system, you'd better hope you never get a body. Otherwise, I'll show everyone whether I can stand up or not. You'll be the one crying then."

"Pfft.

Haven't you heard the saying? You can wear out the ox, but you can't ruin the field.

Even if this system had a body, why would I be afraid of you?"

"Ah!!!!!"

Chen felt like he was about to lose it. What had he done in his past life to deserve being stuck with a system like this?

He fell silent. If he said one more word to the system, he felt like he'd die spitting blood. As far as he could tell, Uchiha Chen might be the only protagonist ever to be driven to his death by his own system.

Still scowling, Chen headed straight back to his lodgings. The system seemed to have found its conscience, since it stayed quiet too.

The day passed just like that. The next morning, still in a foul mood, Chen headed to Training Ground No. 7 as usual.

But as soon as he got close, he spotted a few traps set up around the training ground.

"Who came up with this prank?"

Chen was thoroughly exasperated.

Under normal circumstances, traps were obviously meant for someone in particular. Chen had just discussed some sensitive matters with Shisui, so there was a good chance these traps were meant for him.

The problem was, the traps in front of him were so poorly made that even three-year-old Chen could have done ten times better.

The only thing missing was a sign saying, "Trap here! Watch your step!"

Come on, Chen was a ninja. Even a wild boar wouldn't fall for this, would it?

That wasn't even the worst part. It was fine to set a trap and hide, but what was with the guy's ass sticking halfway out?

Was he worried people might miss?

"Which idiot set these traps?"

"You're asking me? How would I know? The guy who set them is right over there, anyway. Why not ask him yourself?"

The system answered with unusual seriousness. Maybe yesterday's antics had gone too far and it had turned over a new leaf.

(System: Don't flatter yourself. I'm just curious which moron set such moronic traps.)

Chen didn't waste any more time. He hurried over and kicked the exposed rear end.

"Yowwww!!!!!!"

A piercing scream rang out, and some little kid went flying, clutching his backside.

"That was surprisingly cathartic. Should've used One Thousand Years of Death. What a waste."

For some reason, hearing the kid scream felt incredibly satisfying. He'd never felt this way during a fight with an enemy.

Chen strolled over to the unlucky kid. By then, the kid had turned around.

He clutched his rear with one hand and tried to hold back his tears, but they kept streaming down his face anyway.

"Uh..."

Seeing the familiar figure in front of him, Chen wasn't sure what to say.

"Who are you?"

He did recognize the kid, of course, but he pretended not to.

"If you don't tell me, I'll arrest you and use every kind of torture to find out who sent you here as a spy."

"Waaah...

I'm not a spy. I'm Sasuke Uchiha, and Uchiha Itachi is my big brother."

That's right. The unlucky kid Chen had just kicked flying was Sasuke Uchiha.

As for why he was here, the reason was simple: it was exactly the same as the reason Chen had once given Itachi.

Sasuke was a total big-brother fanatic. When he heard his brother praise Chen for being strong, Sasuke naturally got jealous.

So, after learning from Shisui that Chen would be at Training Ground No. 7, Sasuke came to dig traps yesterday afternoon.

Compared to Chen, though, Sasuke was far too weak.

Even putting strength aside, he dug traps like he was just playing around.

"So that's it. You're that idiot little brother of Big Brother Itachi.

By the way, how did a genius like Big Brother Itachi end up with an idiot like you for a little brother?

Two Pillars, just how dumb are you?"

Thinking about how, unless he got a last-minute power-up, this kid would only ever know Uchiha Hugs, Uchiha Piggybacks, and Uchiha Mutual Destruction, Chen couldn't help wondering if the Uchiha Clan had used up all its luck after producing geniuses like Shisui and Itachi.

Otherwise, how could someone like this even exist?

The skies cleared, the rain stopped, and Sasuke thought he was invincible again—only to get thoroughly thrashed.

"My name isn't Two Pillars! My name is Sasuke, Sasuke Uchiha! And don't you dare insult my big brother!"

"I didn't insult Big Brother Itachi. You're just so weak that you're holding him back."

"I'm not! I'm still little. When I grow up, I'll be a powerful ninja just like my big brother!"

Sasuke rubbed his backside through his tears, speaking in a babyish voice. He did look a little cute.

But when Chen thought of the Two Pillars he'd become in the future, he really wanted to keep his distance. Who knew if his idiot tendencies were contagious?

"You're still little? You're three years old. Big Brother Itachi fought in the last Shinobi World War when he was four and killed enemy ninja.

What about you? Were you still wetting the bed last night?"

Chen's taunt made Sasuke's face turn red instantly.

Because Sasuke really had wet the bed last night.

Having someone bring that up made Sasuke wish he could crawl into a crack in the ground. Seeing his expression, Chen immediately understood what had happened.

"Looks like I'll have to tell Big Brother Itachi to keep his distance from you at night. Wouldn't want you to wash him away in his sleep.

Even if you don't wash him away, it wouldn't be great to leave him smelling like pee."

As he spoke, Chen pinched his nose and waved a hand in front of his face, as if Sasuke already stank.

"I, I..."

Poor Sasuke didn't know how to defend himself. His backside also hurt like hell, and feeling utterly miserable, he burst into tears.

(System: You call me shameless, but you're picking on a little kid? That's supposed to be decent?

Looks like I can keep this up after all.)