A Second Lecture? Watch Me Cook Up Something New

Heavenly Dao had finally become completely afraid of Xiao Kuang, this salted fish.

It told him to undergo Dao Integration, and he smashed up the Dao Ancestor and Demon Ancestor. It told him to lecture on the Dao, and he turned it into a massive team-building event. It told him to maintain stability, and he used merit to hold a beauty pageant. Now he even dared to set his sights on the "Earthly Dao"!

If this bastard was allowed to stay idle any longer, who knew when he might tear apart the Primordial Chaos, or come up with something like a "Primordial Chaos Variety Channel" or "Chaos Online Livestreaming"!

No! It had to find him some "proper work" to do! It had to use heavy "workloads" to occupy that brain of his, which was filled with bizarre ideas!

[Agent Xiao Kuang!]

[The first lecture has concluded, and the feedback from all beings was acceptable (it would rather die than mention the Great Dao Merit). However, the Great Dao is boundless, and all beings thirst deeply for it. I now order you to begin preparations immediately. In ten thousand years, the Purple Cloud Palace shall open for the second lecture! This lecture concerns the path by which all beings of the Primordial Chaos may advance, and is of utmost importance! There must be no mistakes!]

Xiao Kuang had been wondering whether to roast Chaos Chicken Wings or a Chaos lamb leg when this sudden "work assignment" left him stunned.

"Huh? Another lecture?" His face immediately fell. "Ten thousand years from now? That soon? I haven't rested enough yet... Giving that last lecture was exhausting, okay?"

[This is fated! There shall be no excuses!]

[This lecture must explain the key methods for Grand Unity Golden Immortals to advance toward the Quasi-Saint realm, guiding all beings to comprehend the paths of the Three Corpses, merit, and Prove Dao by Strength! The content is serious and concerns the future order of the Primordial Chaos! It absolutely must not be like last time... a complete mess!]

It deliberately stressed the words "complete mess," carrying a deep warning in its tone.

The moment Xiao Kuang heard terms like "Quasi-Saint," "Three Corpses," "merit," and "Prove Dao by Strength," his head started aching. This was harder than advanced calculus, wasn't it?! Asking him to teach this? He would rather compete with Gong Gong in headbutting Buzhou Mountain!

"Do I have to lecture?" he tried to struggle.

[You must!]

"And no team-building?"

[Absolutely not! This will be a serious lecture on the Dao!]

Heavenly Dao Will answered with finality.

Xiao Kuang's eyes spun. Even if he could not hold a team-building event, his mind, brimming with strange ideas, immediately came up with a whole pile of alternatives.

"Then... if we can't do team-building, how about making it educational and entertaining?" he asked tentatively. "For example... a 'Quasi-Saint Path Immersive Murder Mystery'? We could have the Three Pure Ones, Di Jun, and the others play different roles and experience the pros and cons of different paths to enlightenment?" "Or a 'Three Corpses Severance Social Exchange Competition'? We see who can sever them fastest, best, and most creatively?" "Or maybe a 'Primordial Chaos Strongest Quasi-Saint Debate Tournament'? A friendly discussion—argument—over the merits of different paths to enlightenment?" "If all else fails, we could hold a 'Quasi-Saint Certification Exam Cram Class'? Paid lessons, guaranteed passes, guaranteed certificates?"

The more he spoke, the more excited he became. These ideas were far more interesting than a dry lecture!

[Shut up!!!]

[You are not allowed to think about any more of this nonsense! No murder mysteries! No social competitions! No debate tournaments! And absolutely no charging fees for classes! Just lecture on the Dao honestly and exactly as it is supposed to be done! Explain the laws! Analyze the mysteries! Do you understand?!]

Heavenly Dao felt as though its core code was about to explode into garbled-firework fragments from rage! Did this salted fish have nothing in his head besides playing around and slacking off?!

Xiao Kuang's ears rang from the shouting. He shrank his neck and muttered in complaint, "Fine, I won't do it. Why are you being so fierce... You don't have any sense of humor at all... You old fossil..."

[Ten thousand years! Only ten thousand years! Begin preparing immediately!] ``` Heavenly Dao gave its final roar and issued an absolute order before immediately concealing itself. It was afraid that if it stayed even one second longer, it would truly be unable to stop itself from self-destructing and perishing together with this salted fish.

"Ten thousand years... What the hell am I supposed to prepare..." Xiao Kuang slumped miserably in his chair, feeling as though there was no hope left in his fish life.

Making him study Quasi-Saint methods? He would rather study postpartum care for sows!

After spacing out for most of the day, he finally remembered another crucial matter—he had not sent out the announcement yet!

So, once again, with practiced ease and a shamelessly eager trot, he went looking for Xi He, who was trying to roast sweet potatoes with Taiyin True Fire—apparently led astray by Xiao Kuang.

"Hehe, Sister Xi He, busy? Can you do me a little favor?" He piled on his familiar ingratiating grin.

Xi He's hand trembled, and the Taiyin True Fire nearly froze the sweet potato into an ice cube. Seeing Xiao Kuang's expression gave her an extremely ominous feeling. With a cold face, she said, "No! I'm busy!"

"Come on! Just one last time! It really is the last time!" Xiao Kuang smoothly began swearing oaths and making promises. "Heavenly Dao gave the order. The second lecture will be held in ten thousand years—a proper lecture! Absolutely no fooling around! Just help me send out an announcement! It's super easy!"

Xi He: ... As if she believed that nonsense! He had said the same thing before the Jade Terrace Immortal Gathering last time!

"The Dao Ancestor possesses vast divine abilities. Why would you need the help of a minor immortal?" Xi He turned away, too lazy to bother with him.

"If I could do it myself, would I be begging you..." Xiao Kuang shamelessly sidled closer. "Look, aren't I serving all beings of the Primordial Chaos too? If we notify everyone earlier, they can prepare earlier, right? This is a boundlessly meritorious good deed! Please help me~"

Xi He was helpless after being pestered by him. Besides, she had indeed unexpectedly received some feedback from Great Dao Merit last time—though she did not know it was Great Dao Merit and only felt her cultivation improve slightly. Deep down, she still held a trace of apprehension toward this salted fish's identity as the Dao Ancestor, along with an extremely subtle illusion she did not want to admit: Maybe he really does have something to him.

She took a deep breath, forcefully suppressing the urge to smash the sweet potato into his face, and gritted out, "Only this once! If there is a next time—"

"There won't be a next time! Absolutely no next time!" Xiao Kuang immediately promised, swiftly stuffing the "broadcast station authority" and the prepared announcement into her hands.

Xi He sensed the authority and read the announcement—"The Purple Cloud Palace's second lecture is now open! Limited spots, first come, first served. This session will explain 'How a Salted Fish Can Lie Down and Become a Quasi-Saint'..." Her temples throbbed with bulging veins.

She once again used every ounce of her concentration to filter, purify, and repackage that unbearable announcement, finally turning it into a cool and majestic thought that spread throughout the Primordial Chaos:

After transmitting the message, Xi He instantly returned the authority, as though holding it for even one more second would be torture. She asked coldly, "Is that enough?"

"It's enough, it's enough! Thank you, Sister! You're not only beautiful, but kind-hearted too!" Xiao Kuang beamed and casually tossed out another flirtatious remark.

Xi He snorted coldly and turned to leave, deciding that once she got back, she would wash her eyes and ears with Taiyin True Water to cleanse away the bad luck.

And when the beings of the Primordial Chaos received this "official announcement" from the Purple Cloud Palace once again, their reactions varied.

Some looked forward to it—at last, they were going to teach something real! The path of the Quasi-Saint! Some were worried—this time... they would not pull some new stunt again, would they? Some were numb—oh, another Dao lecture. This time, would they be writing self-criticisms or performing talents? Some secretly plotted—the path of the Quasi-Saint! They had to seize the initiative!

No matter what, news of the Purple Cloud Palace's second lecture was like a stone cast into a lake, once again sending ripples through the Primordial Chaos.

Only this time, nearly every great cultivator harbored the same question: would this Dao Ancestor really lecture on the Dao "properly"?

Xiao Kuang did not care what anyone else thought. He was busy worrying over those ten thousand years of "lesson preparation."

"The path of the Quasi-Saint... It sounds so difficult... Can't I just tell them, 'You can become a Quasi-Saint by sleeping'? Or, 'Slack off more, and Quasi-Sainthood will come on its own'?"

He gazed into the Chaos and let out the wail of a failing student.

Heavenly Dao, secretly watching: ...It began seriously considering whether to replace its spokesperson, no matter how great the risk...