Courting Death! I'm a Professional

The second sermon at Purple Cloud Palace had "concluded successfully." The great powers left one after another, filled with gratitude and awe, and the palace temporarily returned to its usual... uh, bizarre tranquility.

Deep within the Heavenly Dao's core, the will that had just awakened from three thousand years of standby silently retrieved the sermon's data report.

Looking at the astonishing results—"Stability of all beings' foundations +999%," "Six high-quality Quasi-Saints born," "Energy consumption reduced by 85%," and "All beings' satisfaction rating (converted from bewilderment) SSS-grade"—the Heavenly Dao's logic modules, which had been riddled with holes and garbled code because of Xiao Kuang, actually ran a little more smoothly for once.

[Heavenly Dao's monologue (data stream stable)]: Analysis conclusion: Although acting agent 'Xiao Kuang' has an incomprehensible behavioral pattern, mysterious motives, and an extremely improper attitude, the final result of this 'sermon'... far exceeded expectations. His methods of 'governing through inaction' (sleeping like crazy) and 'subtle influence' (forcing all beings to study on their own) unexpectedly align with the true meaning of the Great Dao's simplicity and accumulated progress. Perhaps... granting him a certain degree of behavioral tolerance would benefit the Primordial Chaos' long-term stability? A slight increase in his authority comfort level, or a reduction in warning frequency, may be attempted as encouragement...

For once, the Heavenly Dao had developed the tiniest bit of positive regard for Xiao Kuang—perhaps this salted fish had stumbled into something right—and had even begun considering giving him a little "fish food," such as making the lightning that struck him next time a little weaker.

However, the very next second that this faint sliver of "favorability" sprouted—

Inside the palace, Xiao Kuang saw off the last great power, who kept looking back every few steps, then yawned and stretched.

He had not moved for three thousand years. Even though he had been sleeping, he still felt stiff all over. He glanced at the empty hall, then at Wangshu, who was still staring coldly at him, and Xi He and Chang Xi standing nearby with their hands folded. His eyes shifted, and an exquisite (suicidal) idea rose in his mind.

"Ah, teaching for three thousand years has truly exhausted me!" he shouted shamelessly, as though the one who had been drooling in his sleep earlier had been someone else. "I have to relax properly!"

With that, he waved his hand and mobilized his Heavenly Dao Authority!

"Come on, come on, nobody stand around! I'm holding the 'First Purple Cloud Palace Primordial Chaos All-Star Song and Dance Gala' to celebrate the successful conclusion of this sermon!"

Buzz!

The entire Purple Cloud Palace erupted in light!

The KTV's neon lights brightened tenfold, every crystal screen in the internet café switched to disco-ball mode, and the footbath parlor's massage pools began bubbling with rock-and-roll rhythm! Countless colorful lights formed from spiritual energy, surround-sound speakers, and even flower-scattering artifacts appeared out of thin air!

"BGM, start!" Xiao Kuang snapped his fingers.

At once, the modern electronic divine track Most Dazzling National Style, with its powerful rhythm and ear-splitting drums, resounded throughout Purple Cloud Palace! And it was an agricultural heavy-metal remix!

"The vast horizon is my love! Flowers bloom beneath the rolling green hills! What kind of rhythm sways the wildest? What kind of singing is the most carefree?"

Primordial Chaos death-metal electronic music bombarded every corner like mad!

"Come on, come on! Get moving!" Xiao Kuang began twisting to the beat himself, his movements unbelievably hypnotic. At the same time, he directed everyone, "Miss Wangshu! Don't just stand there—you're a guest judge! Xi He, Chang Xi! You two lead the dance! Ao Qingxin, your Dragon Girl group will debut in the center position! Feng Wanxia, your Southern Bright Lihuo is perfect for lighting! Qi Yaoguang, use your spirit herbs to cheer for the audience!"

He then looked toward the backyard zoo. "You dragons, phoenixes, and Kirin! Stop lying around! Get up and dance! Whoever goes the hardest gets extra food tonight!"

In an instant, Purple Cloud Palace transformed from the solemn and sacred (not really) place of preaching it had been moments ago into the first—and most ridiculous—massive nightclub in all of Primordial Chaos since the creation of heaven and earth!

Xi He and Chang Xi were humiliated beyond measure, so embarrassed they wanted to self-destruct on the spot. The Dragon Girls and Phoenix Girls stood there dumbfounded, at a loss amid the deafening lyrics of "You are the most beautiful cloud at the edge of my sky." The rare birds and exotic beasts in the backyard were terrified by the horrifying sound waves and fled in chaos, sending feathers and fur flying everywhere!

The cold air around Wangshu surged, and a layer of ice instantly spread beneath her feet as she tried to freeze this dreadful noise and scene. Yet that devilish music seemed to carry Heavenly Dao Authority, piercing directly through her frozen domain and looping endlessly in her mind. "Let me keep you with all my heart! Keep! You! Here!"

For the first time, clear cracks of something called "collapse" appeared on her eternally expressionless ice-cold face!

High above, the Heavenly Dao, which had only just developed a faint trace of goodwill toward Xiao Kuang, instantly crashed for 0.001 seconds!

Then came unprecedented, tsunami-like fury!

[Heavenly Dao Core (data stream blood-red!)]: Warning! Warning! Detected an agent's extreme act of desecration! Playing unknown Chaos demonic music in a sacred Heavenly Dao site! Forcing living beings into a chaotic dance frenzy! Seriously damaging the Primordial Chaos' solemn image! Seriously polluting the Heavenly Dao database!

[Heavenly Dao garbled code (roaring mode)]: The newly generated positive evaluation report has been forcibly shredded! Favorability reset to zero! Zero! Negative infinity!

[Heavenly Dao garbled code]: Judgment: Acting agent Xiao Kuang! Incorrigible! Escalating without restraint! The moment he was praised, he immediately courted death again! His behavior has exceeded the limits of tolerance! He has gravely provoked the Heavenly Dao's dignity!

[Heavenly Dao garbled code]: Initiating highest-level punishment procedure! Calling upon the Primordial Chaos' origin lightning punishment! Target: Acting agent Xiao Kuang! Objective: Not a warning! Purification! Formatting!!!

Rumble—!!!

The entire world of Primordial Chaos suddenly lost its color!

Beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens, endless Chaos Qi was forcibly driven aside! A purple-black divine thunderbolt, so enormous it could not be described in words and filled with the wrath of the entire Primordial Chaos world, tore through the void. Carrying the terrifying aura of annihilating everything and returning it to chaos, it struck down with absolute precision toward Purple Cloud Palace—or, more precisely, toward Xiao Kuang, who was dancing a rice-planting dance!

The power of this lightning tribulation far surpassed every previous Purple Cloud Divine Thunder! Its sheer grandeur made the Three Pure Ones, Nuwa, and the other newly advanced Quasi-Saints, who had not gone far, turn back in horror. It made every living being across Primordial Chaos tremble, as though the end of the world had arrived!

"Holy shit?!" Xiao Kuang had been dancing at the height of his excitement when the sudden terrifying lightning tribulation startled him. "Again? Why's it making such a huge scene this time?"

He could even feel that the Heavenly Dao was serious this time! It truly wanted to blast him into ash!

"Damn it! You can't take a joke, huh?!" Xiao Kuang cried out and instinctively cranked his Heavenly Dao administrator authority to the maximum. Then he grabbed Wangshu, who was still trying to resist the demonic music with her cold aura, and used her as a shield in front of himself!

"Let me borrow your ice to cool things down!"

Wangshu: "!!!" (╯°Д°)╯︵ ┻━┻

She simply could not believe it! This bastard was actually using her to block a lightning tribulation?!!

The world-destroying purple-black divine thunder had already descended!

Everyone shut their eyes, unable to bear witnessing the Dao Ancestor—and the ancient sacred being forced to take the blow for him—being reduced to flying ash.

However—

Crackle... sizzle...

After a burst of violent flashing electricity and teeth-grating sounds—

Everyone slowly opened their eyes, trembling.

Xiao Kuang's hair stood straight up, black smoke rising from it. His face was a little charred, and his floral shirt and shorts had become ragged, but he was still standing. And... he seemed mostly fine?

Meanwhile, Wangshu, standing in front of him, had her moonlight aura scattered into disarray by the strike. Arcs of electricity danced across her plain white palace robes, and even her hair bun had become crooked. Her stunning face was filled with disbelief and bone-deep coldness! She had forcibly endured most of the lightning tribulation! Though she was not seriously injured, she looked utterly disheveled. More importantly... she really had been used to block the lightning!

"Seriously." Xiao Kuang patted his smoking chest, exhaled a puff of black smoke, and looked up with dissatisfaction as he cursed, "Heavenly Dao, was that necessary? I just threw a party to relax! Your service attitude is way too terrible! I'm giving you a bad review! I'm docking your pay!"

The even more horrifying second lightning tribulation gathering in the sky abruptly stalled.

The Heavenly Dao seemed to have crashed again from sheer rage at this shameless man's words.

Throughout Purple Cloud Palace, only Most Dazzling National Style continued playing stubbornly: "Forever singing the most dazzling national style, the most beautiful sight in the entire sky~~"

Xiao Kuang rolled his neck and shouted at the petrified "cast and crew," "What are you all standing around for? The music hasn't stopped! Keep playing! Keep dancing!"

Then he looked at Wangshu before him, whose cold aura was nearly solid and whose gaze could kill, chuckled, and handed her a cup of happy water.

"Ah, sorry about that, Miss Wangshu. Reflex, reflex! Want some iced cola to calm down? Look, your hair's a little frizzy. It's pretty distinctive—this year's hottest trend in Primordial Chaos..."

Wangshu: "..." (The moonlight in her hand began gathering into the shape of a weapon.)

Heavenly Dao: "..." (The thunderclouds in the sky began gathering madly again, their color shifting from purple-black toward chaos-colored...)

The situation, which had only just begun to improve a little, instantly regressed hundreds of millions of light-years because of Xiao Kuang's earth-shattering death-seeking antics—and slid toward an even more catastrophic direction...