Settling the Wager: A Clever Move

Above the East Sea, the wind and waves seemed to have frozen.

The armies of billions of immortals and demons, frozen in postures of charging or defending, were like a paused recording. The River Diagram and Luo Script in Di Jun's hand flickered with dim starlight, the Chaos Bell held aloft by Taiyi hung in mid-air, and golden blood dripped from the corner of East King Duke's mouth, his face a mixture of relief after surviving a catastrophe and utter bewilderment.

All the sounds of battle, the roar of magical treasures, the clash of laws, had vanished.

Only the "clack-clack" of Xiao Kuang's abacus, transmitted through Heavenly Dao Authority, echoed with impossible clarity into the Primordial Spirits of every living being, shattering their Dao hearts.

Inside the Purple Heaven Palace, Queen Mother of the West had collapsed onto a beanbag chair (having been unconsciously assimilated), staring blankly at the screen, muttering, "Draining the water... it was really just to drain the water..."

The chilling aura around Wangshu was no longer sharp, but instead exuded a profound sense of powerlessness. She looked at Xiao Kuang, who was buried in his calculations, and for the first time, felt a deep doubt about the "Great Dao"—was it truly meant to maintain the universe's operation, or was it meant for comedy?

"Ahem!" Xiao Kuang finally put down his abacus, cleared his throat, and transmitted his voice again, his tone carrying the unique authority (and mischievousness) of a bookie: "After rigorous calculations by this bookie, I will now announce the settlement plan for the gambling funds!"

Every living being's heart leaped into their throats, especially the three protagonists: Di Jun, Taiyi, and East King Duke.

"First, congratulations to Sect Master Tongtian, who bet on Eastern Emperor Taiyi to end the battle within three bells, for winning a Houtian Spiritual Treasure Flying Sword! Congratulations to Laozi, who bet on one bell, for winning a bottle of Nine Revolutions Golden Elixir! Congratulations to Nuwa, who bet on five bells... uh, what did you bet on, Nuwa? Never mind, you won anyway!"

Tongtian and Laozi remained expressionless, while Nuwa pressed her forehead.

"Next, it is with great regret that those who bet on ten bells or lasted ten bells—Yuanshi, Jieyin, Zhunti—as well as Minghe, who foolishly thought to pay off his debt with toilet-cleaning wages, have all lost their stakes! The odds were high, but your foresight was lacking!"

Primordial Lord of Heaven's face darkened further. Jieyin and Zhunti felt like crying, their dreams of the Western Teachings' resurgence seeming even more distant. Old Ancestor Minghe was beating his chest and stamping his feet in his backyard.

"Finally, and most importantly!" Xiao Kuang's voice rose by an octave, "The bookie's cut is five percent! Given the immense sums involved in this wager and the large number of participants, this bookie has decided to collect it in the form of 'labor deductions'!"

Labor deductions? All the living beings felt a sense of foreboding.

"All the great lords who participated in the betting, settle the funds amongst yourselves. As for everyone on the battlefield..." Xiao Kuang paused, his tone becoming 'kind and amiable,' "Di Jun, Taiyi, East King Duke, and all your cadres at the Golden Immortal realm and above, immediately write me a profound self-criticism of no less than three thousand words! The theme is: 'My Understanding of the Harmfulness of Fighting and Scuffling in the East Sea and My Vow of Repentance'!"

"Requirements: Sincere attitude, deep reflection, no less than three thousand words, must be handwritten! No magical proxies allowed! If you don't finish, or don't write profoundly enough, you won't be allowed to continue fighting! Anyone who dares to feign compliance will be invited to the Purple Heaven Palace backyard zoo to reside with fellow Daoist Minghe, experiencing a Primordial Era version of Survival!"

Xiao Kuang's voice, imbued with undeniable Heavenly Dao power, pressed down on the hearts of all the targeted individuals, making them sink.

Write... write a self-criticism?!

Three thousand words?! Handwritten?!

Di Jun, Taiyi, East King Duke, and the countless demon gods and scattered immortal generals on both sides were all dumbfounded!

They were top-tier powers of the Primordial Era, overlords, Golden Immortal powerhouses! Not schoolchildren being spanked by their teacher for not reciting their lessons!

To be forced to stop fighting halfway through was already outrageous enough! Now they had to write a self-criticism?! And a handwritten three-thousand-word one?!

Utter humiliation! This was utter humiliation!

Di Jun was so enraged that the Solar True Fire surged all over him, nearly igniting the Demon Master Kunpeng beside him. The Chaos Bell in Taiyi's hand hummed, wishing it could strike immediately, but he dared not. East King Duke's vision went black, and he almost spat out another mouthful of blood—he would rather be struck to death by Taiyi than endure this humiliation!

"Dao Ancestor! This matter..." Di Jun attempted to struggle.

"Hmm?" Xiao Kuang's voice immediately turned dangerous, "Do you have an opinion? Do you want to experience life in the Purple Heavens Palace? I happen to need someone to scrub the bath."

Di Jun instantly shut his mouth, his face ashen, his teeth grinding. Go to the Purple Heaven Palace? Scrub the bath for this Dao Ancestor? That would be worse than writing a self-criticism!

Taiyi silently lowered the Chaos Bell and began contemplating how to start his self-criticism. Should it be "Respected Dao Ancestor" or "Wicked My Emperor"?

East King Duke's face was ashen. He resignedly began to rummage through his storage magical treasures, looking for suitable spiritual silks or immortal papers for writing—he never carried such things usually!

Inside the Purple Heaven Palace, Sect Master Tongtian was already laughing so hard he had rolled off his ergonomic chair and onto the floor. Primordial Lord of Heaven suppressed his laughter, his shoulders shaking. Laozi's whisk trembled as if he had Parkinson's. Empress Nuwa buried her face in a cushion, her shoulders trembling uncontrollably. Although Jieyin and Zhunti had lost money, seeing Di Jun and Taiyi in such a predicament inexplicably felt a little satisfying.

Queen Mother of the West's mouth hung open, unable to close for a long time. Stopping conflict... could be done this way? Making the top powers write self-criticisms? This... this was simply...

Wangshu looked at the screen at the Primordial Great Powers, who were usually majestic but now wore troubled expressions as they searched for paper and brushes. Especially at the stifled, almost exploding expressions of Di Jun and Taiyi. On her eternally frozen heart lake, a faint ripple, named "pleasure," actually... rippled?

She quickly suppressed this inappropriate emotion, regaining her icy composure, but the corner of her mouth seemed to have lifted by a mere millimeter—a slight upward curve?

"Hurry up!" Xiao Kuang urged impatiently, "My time is precious, I still need to watch... uh, supervise your self-reflection! Whoever finishes first can rest first! Those who don't finish will work overtime in the East Sea tonight!"

And so, the most absurd scene since the creation of the Primordial Era unfolded:

Above the vast East Sea, the armies of billions of immortals and demons, who had been fighting to the death moments ago, now stood in distinct formations.

And in front of both armies, the Demon Emperor Di Jun, Eastern Emperor Taiyi, East King Duke, and hundreds of Golden Immortal and Grand Unity Golden Immortal generals, all sat on the ground (or clouds), with spiritual silks, jade slips, and even beast skins before them, scratching their heads and frowning as they... wrote self-criticisms!

Some were red-faced with frustration, some secretly glanced at how much others had written, some attempted to cheat with their divine sense and were warned by Heavenly Dao Authority, some accidentally wrote a wrong character and punched the ground in anger...

The billions of soldiers behind them silently watched the predicament of their leaders, wanting to laugh but not daring to, the atmosphere awkward and bizarre.

Inside the Purple Heaven Palace, Xiao Kuang, from who knows where, put on a red armband labeled "Grading Teacher" and took out a thermos, which contained wolfberry enlightenment tea. Sipping it, he pointed at the screen:

"Tsk, Di Jun, your handwriting is terrible, like a dog's scratch, unworthy of the Heavenly Emperor's demeanor!" "Taiyi, your word count is insufficient! Don't think you can fool me by writing 'repentance' fifteen hundred times!" "East King Duke! The ideological depth of your self-criticism is lacking! You need to deeply explore the root of your obsession with power! Rewrite!"

Heavenly Dao (muttering in its sleep): ...Detected large-scale 'repentance' behavior... Karmic merit slightly reduced... Killing tribulation process interrupted... Logical conflict... Unresolvable... Recorded as 'Special Educational Method'... zzzz... (Subconscious: Di Jun's handwriting is indeed ugly...) ...

Queen Mother of the West looked at the absurd yet strangely effective scene on the screen and suddenly felt that this unreliable Dao Ancestor might have, by chance, used this unbelievable method to temporarily quell a catastrophe?

Although the process was enough to shatter the Dao heart of any informed person ten thousand times over.

And the instigator, Xiao Kuang, took a sip of wolfberry tea and thought gleefully: "Heh heh, after they finish writing their self-criticisms, I'll have them exchange and read each other's work, write post-reading reflections and critical opinions! This way, I can stall... uh, I mean, deepen the educational effect for thousands of years! This Lord is truly a genius!"

The future of the Primordial Era, amidst the rustling sound of writing, seemed to be heading in an even stranger direction.

(That's all, really, no more, stop urging)