Dao Ancestor's New Financial Road

The wind above the East Sea carried the scent of salt and... ink?

The millions-strong army of immortals and demons watched in silence as their leaders and generals buried their heads in writing. Time trickled by. For these mighty beings, who could spend millennia in seclusion, writing a few thousand words should have been instantaneous. Yet, this three-thousand-word self-criticism was proving more arduous than facing the Chaos Bell.

They had to reflect deeply (even if they grumbled internally), maintain a sincere attitude (writing through gritted teeth), and absolutely not use magic to substitute their hands (handwritten only!). To make matters worse, that unscrupulous Dao Ancestor would occasionally critique them from afar, nitpicking every detail!

"Di Jun! I told you your handwriting is atrocious! Rewrite it! Use proper script! With a touch of the Heavenly Emperor's grace!" "Taiyi! Stop using clichés like 'a moment of madness' or 'being misled'! Be specific! Profound! For instance, describe in detail how the violent impulse in your heart grew when you raised the Chaos Bell!" "East King Duke! How many times have I warned you about secretly using spiritual energy to ink your brush? That's one warning! Do it again and the word count doubles!"

Xiao Kuang's voice was like demonic music drilling into their ears, making the three great figures want to snap their pens in half. But they dared not. They could only wear dark expressions and rewrite, again and again. Their calligraphy shifted from wild and unrestrained (scribbled) to cautious (neat), and finally to numb and indifferent (mechanical).

Finally, after what felt like the most agonizing hours for their Dao hearts, the first self-criticism—from Eastern Emperor Taiyi—was complete.

Taiyi, trembling, used his spiritual energy to lift the jade slip, filled with words of repentance (and internal complaints), and sent it soaring into the sky.

A golden light from the Heavenly Dao flashed, and the jade slip vanished. In the next moment, it appeared in Xiao Kuang's hands in the Purple Firmament Palace.

"Hmm, let this teacher take a look." Xiao Kuang put on a pair of gold-rimmed glasses he'd somehow acquired (they had no lenses) and pretended to examine the jade slip.

"Mmm... the beginning is acceptable. 'Respected, great, supreme Dao Ancestor'... Hmm, the flattery is a bit stiff, but the attitude is passable." "The middle section... 'I should not have acted rashly, disregarded the overall situation of the Demon Race, and easily started a war'... Tsk, avoiding the main issue. Why not mention how you've disliked East King Duke for a long time?" "The final promise... 'In the future, I will certainly be calm and restrained, prioritize the harmony of the Primordial Era, and strive to build a new Heavenly Court with characteristics of the Demon Race'... It's alright, it has some value."

Xiao Kuang critiqued as he read, while Tongtian, Yuanshi, and other "bettors" gathered around to watch the spectacle, marveling.

"Overall evaluation: B-!" Xiao Kuang picked up a seal engraved with the character "Approved," dipped it in cinnabar (perhaps the blood of some spirit beast), and stamped it firmly at the end of the jade slip. "The emotions aren't sincere enough, the reflection is superficial, but the word count is met, and the handwriting is neat (forced upon you). Approved! Next!"

Hearing the word "Approved," Taiyi below inexplicably let out a sigh of relief, as if he had just survived an ultimate heavenly tribulation. He felt utterly drained.

Soon, Di Jun's and East King Duke's self-criticisms also arrived.

Di Jun's was steady and measured, filled with bureaucratic jargon like "considering the overall situation," "profoundly realizing the destructive impact of war on economic development," and "will dedicate efforts to the joint development of the sea of stars in the future." Xiao Kuang evaluated it as "full of the Heavenly Emperor's hypocrisy" and gave it a B.

East King Duke's, however, was tearful (in writing). He deeply analyzed how he "was blinded by power," "acted presumptuously," and "failed the Dao Ancestor's teachings (even though the Dao Ancestor hadn't taught him much)." He also declared, "I am willing to disband the Immortal Court, turn over a new leaf, and be a good person." Xiao Kuang assessed it as "overly dramatic acting, but the attitude is commendable," giving it a B+.

As for the other Golden Immortals and Grand Unity Golden Immortals, their self-criticisms were even more varied. Some were written like cultivation manuals with strict rules, others like lyrical prose, and some even tried to flatter Xiao Kuang, only to miss the mark... Xiao Kuang read with great interest, assigning scores ranging from C to A, and demanding that all failing submissions be rewritten.

Inside Purple Heaven Palace, a joyous atmosphere filled the air. The great figures passed around the self-criticisms, commenting on the calligraphy and literary merit, as if attending a unique "Primordial Era Calligraphy and Essay Appreciation Conference."

Queen Mother of the West, witnessing this absurd yet harmonious scene, fell into deep contemplation once more. Fighting and killing, only to be temporarily halted by thousands of self-criticism essays? What kind of principle was this?

Wangshu silently watched Xiao Kuang hopping around, grading "homework," her expression complex. This fellow always seemed to achieve some... bizarre effect through the most outlandish means?

Once all the self-criticisms were graded, Xiao Kuang stretched with satisfaction.

"Alright! This incident of fighting and brawling in the East Sea is temporarily concluded! Seeing as you all put some effort into your self-criticisms, I won't pursue it further!"

Di Jun, Taiyi, East King Duke, and the others finally breathed a collective sigh of relief, feeling as though they had narrowly escaped death—albeit in an extremely humiliating manner.

"However!" Xiao Kuang's tone shifted. "The death penalty is waived, but a living punishment is unavoidable! To compensate for the mental toll you've inflicted upon me (watching fights is tiring), and to cover the house's cut and service fees, I've decided to fine the three parties. You will jointly fund and construct a 'Purple Heaven Palace East Sea Branch and Primordial Entertainment Leisure Resort Center' on the coast of the East Sea for me!"

"Requirements: Must include super five-star private rooms for Haidilao, a holographic IMAX cinema (for broadcasting future fights), a large outdoor dance plaza, and a super internet cafe grander than Lingxiao Hall! Construction period: three thousand years! Failure to complete on time means all responsible parties will return to Purple Heaven Palace to write ten-thousand-year self-criticisms!"

Di Jun, Taiyi, East King Duke: "..." Their recently relaxed moods plummeted again. Building... building a resort center? And it has to be completed in three thousand years?

This punishment was more torturous than writing self-criticisms! And they had to cooperate with their sworn enemies?

"What? Any objections?" Xiao Kuang's voice turned dangerous.

"We dare not! We respectfully obey the Dao Ancestor's decree!" The three were immensely frustrated but could only agree in unison. Compared to writing self-criticisms for ten thousand years, building houses seemed preferable...

"Excellent!" Xiao Kuang nodded with satisfaction, then added, "Oh, right. Once the resort center is built, I'll take ninety percent of the profits. The remaining ten percent, the three of you can split amongst yourselves! Consider it your... labor fee!"

There's even profit sharing? Di Jun, Taiyi, and East King Duke blinked, instinctively starting to calculate how much that ten percent would be... Wait! That's not right! We're being punished! How did this suddenly turn into a business partnership?!

However, before they could ponder further, Xiao Kuang had already cut off communication.

Above the East Sea, the tribulation clouds dispersed, and sunlight once again streamed down.

But Di Jun, Taiyi, and East King Duke exchanged glances, looking at each other, then at the millions of troops behind them, and then at the "Primordial Entertainment Leisure Resort Center" that was about to begin construction. Their feelings were indescribably complex.

The fighting was over. But from now on, instead of being mortal enemies, they would become... fellow sufferers working for the Dao Ancestor together?

Wasn't this script supposed to go differently?

Inside Purple Heaven Palace, Xiao Kuang rubbed his hands, his eyes gleaming, as he spoke to Queen Mother of the West and Wangshu, who hadn't left yet. "See? This is sustainable development! Fighting and killing is so outdated. Making money together is the way! Once the resort center is built, I'll invite you for a free VIP experience! Miss Wangshu, you can be the Ice Sculpture Art Director! Queen Mother of the West, your Jade Pond Immortal Peaches can be used as specialty fruit platters, and we'll split the profits fifty-fifty..."

Queen Mother of the West: "..." Wangshu: "..." They suddenly felt a bit sorry for East King Duke, Di Jun, and Taiyi.

Meanwhile, the Heavenly Dao, in its slumber, silently updated another record: [Proxy successfully converted a Calamity-level conflict into a 'commercial cooperation project'... Killing tribulation dissipated... Karma transformed into 'construction pressure'... Primordial GDP expected to increase by 0.5%... Evaluation: Incomprehensible... but it seems... feasible?... Recording new solutions: 'Labor as punishment,' 'Common prosperity'... zzzz...]

The Salted Fish Dao Ancestor seemed to have, once again unintentionally, paved an unprecedented and uniquely peculiar path for the "peace and development" of the Primordial Era.