I'm Going to Meet Sei Shonagon in Her Twenties / System: You Crazy Dude, Where'd You Find This Crazy Woman?

Your curse, "Dragon Slayers Become Dragons," has been removed.

Your physical abilities have greatly improved.

Skill learned: Mana Burst (Lightning)

You were certain the Gods of Thunder were settling a personal grudge, but you had no proof. Just as you were about to leave, something came flying at you from Mount Ooe.

With your excellent eyesight, you clearly saw who it was.

Judging by the visitor's appearance, you guessed it was Shuten-dōji.

In fact, you were right. It was indeed Shuten-dōji. While she had left Mount Ooe to search for good sake, she discovered that lightning from the sky had reduced every yokai and ghost on the mountain to nothing. Since you were the only person nearby, Shuten-dōji believed you were responsible and wanted an explanation.

In truth, Shuten-dōji did not care whether those oni lived or died. As long as she had delicious sake, lavish banquets, and fine food to enjoy, she would not feel any resentment.

In other words, she was a very easy yokai to placate.

However, Bai Ming had no intention of placating her—

"Yokai, eat my fist!"

Bai Ming charged forward in a Phase Dash and drove his fist into Shuten-dōji's face, sending her flying on the spot.

Shuten-dōji climbed up from the ground, covered in dust.

"An interesting man—"

Shuten-dōji did not care about the punch Bai Ming had landed on her face. Instead, she looked at him with a smile. "Did you wipe out the oni of my Mount Ooe?"

"More or less."

Seeing Bai Ming's tense expression, Shuten-dōji said, "I do not intend to take revenge. Do you have any sake?"

"No."

Bai Ming walked toward Shuten-dōji step by step. Shuten-dōji sighed, and her aura grew increasingly dangerous. Yet when Bai Ming drew close, her breathing caught.

Shuten-dōji looked up at Bai Ming and fell silent.

Why was this person so tall? His hairstyle did not resemble those local people's either, and his clothes were also...

This is a foreigner, isn't it? Why would a foreigner appear in Heian-kyo?

Could those earlier rumors be true? Had a Chinese immortal come to seize faith? Was this person here to preach?

Shuten-dōji asked, "Are you from China?"

Given the era, Japan was most heavily influenced by China. People from China were generally tall and sturdy, and word of your victory over Abe no Seimei had already spread. Thus, Shuten-dōji immediately assumed you were a Chinese man who had crossed the sea.

Faced with Shuten-dōji's question, you immediately admitted it.

Shuten-dōji knew that in China, immortals were gods. She was merely a great yokai; how could she possibly clash with a god?

Shuten-dōji immediately made her decision and said:

"I will not fight you. Chinese onmyōjutsu is terribly strange. I heard that a Chinese immortal came to Heian-kyo earlier, carrying a dog around and beating people and yokai everywhere. If I fought you or killed you, that Chinese immortal would definitely come after me—"

Shuten-dōji's voice abruptly stopped. She saw a puppy running over with something in its mouth, then watched the man before her pick it up.

Bai Ming said, "Go on. I'm listening. If you beat me or kill me, then what?"

"Nothing... nothing." Shuten-dōji looked awkward. "I think we have no grudge against each other, so we should... be able to reconcile, yes? If not, then I have reasons why we must reconcile."

You gestured for Shuten-dōji to explain her reasons. She told you about The Algae Woman, Ōtengu, and herself—the three great yokai. The Algae Woman currently wished to enter human society and seize power and status. She also mentioned that if she died, other yokai would launch a Hyakki Yagyō in retaliation.

Rather than worrying after hearing this, you became excited.

You had not even used the new ritual implement the Gods of Thunder had given you yet. If they came at you with a Hyakki Yagyō, would that not be absolutely exhilarating?

You had originally planned to spare Shuten-dōji, but once you learned that her death would trigger a Hyakki Yagyō, you no longer wanted to let her leave alive.

Bai Ming smiled, and Shuten-dōji smiled as well. She believed Bai Ming had compromised. Yet Bai Ming smiled and said, "Then you have to die even more, Miss Shuten-dōji. I want to see a Hyakki Yagyō."

"Huh?"

Shuten-dōji's smile froze. Whose alignment was Chaos Evil here?!

Shuten-dōji immediately grew anxious. "I have other ways to make them launch a Hyakki Yagyō. I can take you to capture The Algae Woman. She is a peerless beauty."

Bai Ming stroked Setanta's head and spoke slowly. "Don't rush, don't rush. I have other ideas, but before I put them into action..."

You drafted a strictly unequal contract. At the very beginning, you directly wrote: "Let Heaven and Earth, the Gaia Consciousness, bear witness. Should Shuten-dōji violate this contract, Heaven and Earth shall not tolerate her." To survive, and to continue drinking sake and eating good food, Shuten-dōji humiliatingly signed the unequal contract.

You became Shuten-dōji's master.

Talent Greedy Wolf activated.

Talent All-Nature activated.

Talent Flower Thief activated.

Going to Meet Sixteen-Year-Old Sei Shōnagon

Shuten-dōji looked far better than Ibaraki-dōji. Though her figure was even more regrettable than Akuta Hinako's, you could still accept it—

After all, this was FGO's top girl from China Central Television, officially certified as sexy.

You brought Shuten-dōji back to your residence in Heian-kyo.

"Aren't you afraid that I might pull out your bones when you let your guard down?"

Shuten-dōji's nimble hand slid across her body, and her unfastened purple kimono revealed her rosy shoulder.

She did not directly remove her kimono. She had deliberately assumed this posture to tempt Bai Ming.

Though their identities and positions as a human and an oni were utterly opposed, Shuten-dōji had to admit that Bai Ming was drawing her in.

It was as though she had been charmed.

But Shuten-dōji prided herself on being one of Heian-kyo's three great yokai. How could something like seduction affect her?

Therefore, Shuten-dōji concluded that she herself had simply become interested in Bai Ming.

In response to Shuten-dōji's provocation, Bai Ming directly grabbed the oni horn on her head. Shuten-dōji shuddered all over, and her body instantly stiffened.

The horns of Japanese oni were extremely sensitive to oni themselves, and Shuten-dōji was no exception.

Bai Ming said, "You can try."

That contract alone was enough to prevent Shuten-dōji from doing anything that could harm Bai Ming. At most, she was throwing around empty threats because of her status as a great Japanese yokai.

"I am not an idiot, mm~"

The hand gripping her horn moved downward. One hand caressed Shuten-dōji's face while the other stroked her neck.

His fingers slipped into the neck ornament connected to her undergarments. With a slight tug, the ornament snapped loose, and the delicate black garment that had barely concealed her fell away.

Her sinful heart could no longer remain hidden.

At that moment, apart from her purple kimono, Shuten-dōji had nothing left on.

Then Bai Ming pressed Shuten-dōji onto the couch.

Shuten-dōji had not originally been an oni. Before that, she had been the daughter of either Yamata no Orochi or Kuzuryū.

When she had still been a god, she had not been called Shuten-dōji either. Her name had been Ibuki-dōji.

Having fallen into an oni, Shuten-dōji naturally lost her broad divine heart, leaving behind only an oni's heart so meager it was pitiful.

Yet compared to when she had still been a god, perhaps that divine heart had been exchanged for her petite and exquisite body, beautiful face, and normal complexion.

Bai Ming's fingers brushing against her oni heart made Shuten-dōji's body tremble slightly.

Her oni heart and horns were both extremely sensitive places for Shuten-dōji.

Talent Greedy Wolf activated.

An absurd thought appeared in Shuten-dōji's mind: her oni heart and horns burned like volcanic craters.

Shuten-dōji instinctively wanted to stop Bai Ming, but she quickly restrained that impulse and allowed the restless sensation to grow within her mind.

Shuten-dōji was small, so while Bai Ming examined her, there was nothing she could do even if she wanted to.

Only when Bai Ming stopped moving and withdrew his hands did Shuten-dōji suddenly let out a breath. Then she looked at Bai Ming with great interest.

Shuten-dōji had always been a hedonist. After receiving positive feedback from her brain, she would never hesitate. Even with such a vast height difference, she would find a way for them both to fully enjoy themselves.

Your assessment of Shuten-dōji in this regard was roughly the same as Morgan's: fully automatic.

You claimed Shuten-dōji's body and heart.

The next day, when you woke up, Shuten-dōji was checking your mental state.

"Good morning, Master. You are very spirited this morning."

Shuten-dōji looked at Bai Ming with a radiant smile. "I prepared a little food. I wonder whether Master will like it."

Bai Ming looked around in silence for several seconds, then grabbed Shuten-dōji.

"It seems Master is a hedonist as well. Would you like some sake? I strongly recommend these varieties."

As she spoke, Shuten-dōji produced a huge pile of sake as though performing a magic trick.

Bai Ming said nothing. What normal person woke up in the morning and immediately started drinking without doing anything else?

You pushed Shuten-dōji away but took her sake. After washing up and feeding Setanta, you began reciting scriptures. As for Shuten-dōji's sake, you used it as an offering and invited the Gods of Thunder to come sample it.

At noon, you washed yourself and planned to take a stroll through Heian-kyo.

During the Heian era, yokai and ghosts ran rampant without restraint. Even in broad daylight, yokai caused trouble. But after you struck Abe no Seimei with lightning, punched Ashiya Doman, and blasted Mount Ooe with lightning, most yokai without powerful patrons became far more obedient during the day. Only a few yokai backed by great yokai occasionally emerged to cause chaos.

Once you stepped onto the street, you saw onmyōji practicing martial arts and warriors studying onmyōjutsu.

A man named Watanabe no Tsuna was walking toward you with a sword in hand.

"Lord Akuta Hinako, I am Watanabe no Tsuna, retainer to Minamoto no Yorimitsu of the Seiwa Genji."

The man bowed to Bai Ming. "I hope to receive your assistance."

Bai Ming shook his head and said, "The strongest local oni slayer in Heian-kyo, please return. I will not lend you my aid. Your attitude toward oni differs from mine. Those who walk different paths cannot make plans together."

Watanabe no Tsuna nodded and said, "I understand. Forgive the disturbance."

Then he turned and left.

Watanabe no Tsuna had some social ability, but he truly was not good at socializing. After Bai Ming refused him, he said nothing further, merely apologized and departed.

To Watanabe no Tsuna, oni were neither beings to hate nor beings to save. They were beings to be slain. There was no sympathy or pity in this, nor hatred or joy. Put simply, it was work. It was duty.

But for you, if all humanity were about to perish, you would certainly intervene. But this petty matter involved nothing but Japanese people living or dying, so what did it have to do with you? You were merely using the simulator to casually fool around in past history as you pleased. Saving people or purging oni was no more than a passing whim.

After Watanabe no Tsuna left, you began thinking about what you wanted to do.

Considering the current era, you wanted to meet someone named Sei Shōnagon. Though Sei Shōnagon was currently only a girl surnamed Kiyohara, with no given name and the childhood name Noriko, that did not prevent you from meeting her.

Simulation paused—

Bai Ming: So? I already want to meet her. System, don't you have anything to say?

System: Say what? OWO?

Bai Ming: Idiot, give me the address! If you don't give me the address, how am I supposed to find her? Qimen Dunjia?

System: ...The character's current location has been marked with one click.

Simulation resumed.

Murasaki Shikibu, Sei Shōnagon, and Minamoto no Yorimitsu could all be considered figures of the same era. After grilling the system, you successfully obtained the current addresses of all three.

Now, in the year 982, you were going to meet sixteen-year-old Sei Shōnagon.

Shuten-dōji.jpg

System: Lunatic, Where Did You Find This Crazy Woman?

You went to find Abe no Seimei and, through him, easily met sixteen-year-old Sei Shōnagon.

Then you directly proposed marriage.

System: No, bro?

Although Sei Shōnagon could not understand what was happening, she claimed to be moved by your courage. Combined with her identity as a scholar of Chinese classics, she liked you even more and agreed to your proposal.

System: No, sis?