Peeing His Pants

The late-night wind blew through the alley from both ends. One streetlamp was broken, and the other could barely hold on, its yellow light flickering with a puff, puff, puff, as though someone far away were playing with a switch.

Xie Xie sauntered out from the other end of the wooded path with both hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped and feet dragging. A foxtail grass stem hung from his mouth, its tip bobbing along with the off-key tune he hummed. He had just turned out of Tang Wulin's building—before Yun Ying left, she had tossed out, "Xie Xie, if you dare lead Tang Wulin astray, I'll deal with you using the Flame-Reaver Spear." He had grinned and agreed, then immediately stuffed Tang Wulin into the study room and slipped out himself to get some air.

"Damn, this busted streetlamp. It's making my eyes spin..." He had only stretched halfway through a yawn when his steps stopped.

Someone stood in the darkest stretch beneath the streetlamp, halfway down the alley.

Not a stray cat. Not a drunkard. A girl blocked the way, tall, her back slightly hunched as if deliberately stretching her shadow longer. She leaned against the branch of an old locust tree. Dead leaves drifted down beside her skirt, only to be shredded into powder by several violet-black feather blades before they could touch the ground, scattering across the mud with a rustle.

The corner of Xie Xie's mouth slowly flattened around the grass stem. He narrowed his eyes.

The girl's long white-and-red hair fell loose, hiding the left half of her face. Her exposed right eye was red, gleaming in the darkness. A throwing blade spun around her fingertips. Its edge was thin, its red glow restrained. It made no sound as it turned, except for the faint hiss of air being sliced apart.

"Well, well." Xie Xie shoved the grass deeper into the corner of his mouth and eyed her sidelong, his tone still lazy and punchable. "Where'd this pretty lady come from, blocking the road? If you're bored enough to wait here for me, why not chat with your big brother instead? Nice long legs. That smile's sweet as fake candy. If big brother pats your head, are you gonna squeal?"

As he spoke, he swayed half a step forward without taking either hand out of his pockets. Classic Xie Xie behavior—begging to get beaten.

The girl's eyelashes trembled.

The fingers spinning the blade stopped. Her lips had already been curved in a smile, but now the curve deepened. Yet the red in her eyes dimmed, like the core beneath a candy coating suddenly sinking.

"I'm not idle... I'm a bad person, you know~"

She dragged out the final note, sweet enough to make one sick. When she said "bad person," it sounded as though she were saying "candy."

Xie Xie laughed. "A bad person? Perfect, then. I specialize in treating all kinds of—"

He did not finish.

Shadow's skill swept out.

It was not the opening stance of a fight. It was right in his face. A violet-black feather blade grazed Xie Xie's ear, missing his earlobe by less than a hair. The gust blew the foxtail grass from his mouth. She was already pressed close to him, her movement and attack speed soaring in her frenzied state. Xie Xie only saw the tips of her white-and-red hair brush beneath his chin. The next instant, she flung her ranged feather blades out in a spinning arc—

The throwing blades spun outward, rebounded, then flew out again. With the damage bonus from three rebounds fully stacked, a pale-purple feather-blade mark silently branded itself onto his right sleeve, like a seal—and like a bite mark.

"Are you afraid of the dark?" she whispered against his ear, her breath cold with a hint of rust. "I can pretend to be the God of Light, Dongjun... Heehee, your mouth is so bright. I like crushing bright things between my teeth and holding them in my mouth the most~"

Xie Xie's hair stood on end. His hands had only just reached into his pockets for his twin daggers when Shadow's second skill, Plume Storm, had already dashed into his face. She deliberately held back the knockback, not sending him flying, only forcing his center of gravity half a step backward. At the end of the dash, her dance state unfolded, and more than a dozen ricocheting throwing blades wrapped around him like a rainstorm.

Every blade burst into a red flower. Each hit made Shadow hug herself and shudder. Her sweet smile turned into a cold sneer, and her voice squeezed out through clenched teeth.

"Flirting with me? Listen! Song of Decay!"

The three-hit melee combo smashed straight into the gaps in his defense. Xie Xie had barely pulled out his daggers before they were sent spinning away by the feather blades, embedding in the tree trunk with two clangs. His heel stepped on his slipper and slipped empty. His whole body tilted backward, and warmth flooded his crotch.

"Fuck—you crazy psycho bitch?! Stay away from me!!" Even his curse cracked, the last note trembling.

"Psycho?" Shadow laughed aloud, as though she had been praised with candy. With the final move of her ultimate, Final Dance, Undying Light flashed. She pressed in for a melee finishing strike. Her feather blade lightly sliced his cheek, not deeply enough to cut flesh, but specifically targeting his defenses. A red line opened across his left cheek, and before a bead of blood could emerge, it was vaporized by the red glow. "That's right. Psychos only kill people who flirt with them~ Weren't you going to pat my head just now? Come on, I'll help you keep your head nice and steady—"

Xie Xie clutched his head and bolted three yards away, his pant legs dripping. At that moment, Yun Ying and Tang Wulin burst in from outside the woods.

Shadow glanced at them from the corner of her eye, pouted, then leaned forward from the shadows and patted Xie Xie's pale face. Her fingertips scraped beneath his chin.

"Work's done~ Thanks for cooperating! If you keep running your mouth next time, I'll cut out your tongue and soak it in feather blades as a wind chime."

"Xie Xie, who did you fight to end up pissing your pants?"

With a clang, the tip of a spear stabbed into the mud by his feet. Yun Ying's high ponytail was slightly loose. She spun the Flame-Reaver Spear halfway around in her hand. The scent of rouge mixed with the lingering sesame-paste fragrance from a tripe stall drifted off her. She had clearly just come from Gu Yue's place, and her face still wore the lazy irritation of someone thinking, "I'm not asleep, but I'm not in a good mood either."

Xie Xie shook like a sieve, pointing in the direction where Shadow had vanished. "She, she's a psycho!! A real psycho!! She wasn't acting! Her blades left marks! She stamped my sleeve!!"

Yun Ying lowered her gaze to his right sleeve—a pale-purple feather mark shaped like a petal, its edges still carrying the lingering heat of frenzy. Her brows furrowed. She held the Flame-Reaver Spear crosswise, the spear shaft lightly tapping against her waist as her boot heels struck the ground twice. She peered halfway into the depths of the alley.

Tang Wulin came rushing in from outside the woods. He did not look at Xie Xie, only at the increasingly faint shadow beneath the old locust tree. His voice was low and steady.

"...That woman isn't from this place."

Xie Xie was still trembling. Yun Ying used her spear tip to lift his dripping pant leg again and curled her lip. "You pissed yourself this badly. Don't tell the teacher I'm your teammate when they split classes tomorrow. Embarrassing."

Tang Wulin withdrew his Golden Dragon Claw and crouched to inspect the feather mark on Xie Xie's sleeve. He pressed it with his fingertip. The red glow suddenly shrank into the cloth's weave, like a living thing recognizing its master. He looked up. "She left something on you. It's not a wound. It's a mark. It resembles the Otherworld Soul Mark mentioned in ancient texts, but it isn't exactly the same."

"Otherworld my ass!" Xie Xie's voice had gone hoarse. "She got right in my face in frenzy mode, made her feather blades rebound three times, ricocheted more than a dozen of them, then used an ultimate called 'Final Dance'—that name alone sounds like some assassin-class psycho route unlocked at max affection! Did my loose mouth summon some AI or what?!!"

Yun Ying snorted with laughter, then realized something was wrong and wiped the smile from her face. She slung the Flame-Reaver Spear over her shoulder. "Xie Xie, your loose mouth is one thing, but when you really ran into something 'not from this place,' you sure pissed fast. If I'd arrived half a minute later, would your tongue really have been cut out and turned into a wind chime?"

Xie Xie said, "...Yun Ying, isn't your focus a little off?"

Tang Wulin stood and stared into the darkness Shadow had retreated into. The old locust tree branch was empty. Dead leaves drifted down once more, this time without being shredded. The streetlamp flickered twice with a puff, puff, then finally stabilized into a dim yellow glow.

"Work's done~ Thanks for cooperating! If you keep running your mouth next time, I'll cut out your tongue and soak it in feather blades as a wind chime."

—Shadow's words, sweet as syrup, clung to Xie Xie's eardrums like candy wrapper that had not been fully peeled away.

Tang Wulin bent down and picked up another dark feather. The moment his fingertip touched it, red light crawled half an inch along the pattern of his Golden Dragon Claw before retreating. He loosened his fingers. The feather blade fell to the ground and turned into tiny points of light. It was not cold.

"You're not leaving?" Yun Ying asked him.

Xie Xie finally shuffled out from the corner by the wall. His twin daggers were still stuck in the tree. He pulled them out and put them away, his legs so weak that walking in a straight line took effort. "Will you two stop analyzing this... Can I just go back and wash my pants..."