Plant Zombies for All: I Can Add Passives to Plants

As gentle as could be.

"Mom! It was nothing, no big deal!" Lin Yue climbed to his feet and stood in the middle of the yard, a complete mess, pointing accusingly at the purple Chomper by the gate.

"It's just that I suddenly realized Chomper-fried oil tastes pretty good."

Leaning against the doorframe, Li Xue glanced at her silly little son and held back a laugh. She wiped her spatula on her apron and said unhurriedly, "Alright, alright. It missed you. You weren't home during the day, so it waited by the gate for you all day. Go take a shower. Dinner will be ready when you come out. I made your favorite braised pork and stir-fried Bok Choy with vinegar tonight, plus a big bowl of tomato egg-drop soup."

"Hurry up and apologize to me, you stinky flower."

"It can't talk. How is it supposed to apologize?" Li Xue shook her head helplessly, then turned toward the house and called out, "Old Lin! Your son's back, and his look is pretty unique!"

A Happy Family

"Ooh~ What kind of look is that? Did a Chomper just spit you out?"

A roguish voice came from behind the door, followed by a middle-aged man sauntering out.

This was Lin Yue's father, Lin Xiaotian.

Lin Xiaotian wore a faded gray-blue T-shirt, its sleeves rolled up to his shoulders to reveal two sturdy arms. An unlit cigarette hung from his mouth, and his hair was a mess. A few glaring white hairs had already appeared at his temples, but his eyes were still bright and lively, carrying a shrewd, irreverent gleam.

With his arms folded, he leaned against the doorframe and looked Lin Yue up and down. A punchable grin spread across his face as he shook his head and added, "Tsk, tsk, tsk... This look isn't bad. It's way more stylish than your old man was when I was young. That sticky texture, that crystal-clear flowing feel—it looks like you just put on a face mask."

"Get lost, old man! I'm only drenched and miserable for the moment."

The anger in Lin Yue's stomach instantly found an outlet. He grabbed a fallen petal from the ground and hurled it at Lin Xiaotian. The petal fluttered less than two feet before falling to the ground, carrying no threat whatsoever. Lin Xiaotian dramatically threw himself backward, clutched his chest, and acted as though he had been shot. "Ow! An unfilial son murdering his father! What a tragedy for this family! Wife, aren't you going to do something?"

"I'll do something to your big head." Li Xue rolled her eyes and turned back into the house. Her voice drifted over from the kitchen. "Once you two are done bickering, get in here and eat. If you don't come in soon, the food will be cold."

Lin Yue lowered his head and looked at the utterly miserable state he was in from head to toe. He took a deep breath, then slowly let it out.

When he was little, he had always wondered about something. His father had clearly been the poorest, most insecure, and most introverted boy in his class back then. He had huddled in the corner of the last row, too scared even to raise his hand and answer questions. So how had he managed to win over the coldest and most beautiful flower on the whole campus? That mystery had troubled him for fifteen full years.

Until one night when he was fifteen. He had gotten up for water and passed his parents' bedroom, only to hear his mother laughing and scolding from inside. "Lin Xiaotian, how could your skin be so thick? Back then, you stopped me on the field, stuffed a Sunflower into my hands without saying a word, and ran off. You even fell halfway through, then got back up covered in mud! Where did you get the nerve back then?"

Lin Xiaotian's voice was muffled but amused. "If I hadn't chased after you, that would've been my life's greatest regret. So what if I fell once? Even falling ten times would've been worth it."

From then on, Lin Yue understood...

His father was, at his core, a thick-skinned brute wrapped in the shell of inferiority. That natural recklessness had only ever been awakened when it came to chasing his wife.

After winning her over, his true nature had been completely exposed, turning him into the foul-mouthed old man he was today. Sure enough, people changed their personalities based on what they experienced in society.

It was practically as if someone had swapped out his brain.

"You stinky old man." Lin Yue raked through his wet hair and bared his teeth at Lin Xiaotian. "The day you get old and can't walk anymore, I'll definitely pull out your oxygen tube, then stand beside your bed and sing 'Today Is a Good Day.'"

Lin Xiaotian burst out laughing and reached out to rub Lin Yue's head. His palm got covered in slime, but he did not mind at all. Grinning, he said, "Oh, sure. Then your old man will smear Chomper saliva all over the tube so your hand slips when you try to pull it out. You won't be able to get it loose. Go take a shower already. You stink so badly you're fumigating me."

The Chomper beside them swayed its leaves. You dare say my saliva stinks? Just wait until you let your guard down someday. I'll bite you.

Father and son traded barbs in the yard as dusk fully settled. The motion-sensor lights in the courtyard flicked on, their warm yellow glow falling over them and stretching their shadows long.

The Chomper shook its leaves nearby as if backing them up, while the Sunflowers quietly lowered their flower heads for the night.

The kitchen rang with the clatter of pots and bowls, along with the bubbling sound of braised pork reducing in its sauce. One by one, lights came on behind the windows along the old street, warm and glowing like a row of little lanterns scattered through the night.

As Lin Yue turned toward the bathroom, the corners of his mouth unconsciously lifted.

This kind of life was really nice.

At that moment, he suddenly understood why both of his parents possessed Planting Talent yet had always remained in Tier One.

His mother, Li Xue, had once been the only person in her entire school with the rare talent to double the growth speed of Ice-type plants. His father, Lin Xiaotian, possessed an absurd ability that made his Wall-nut plants ripen thirty percent more efficiently than normal. Either one of them could have climbed higher and secured a decent position in the Federal Military.

But they had not.

They had chosen this little building on the old street, the Peashooter and Sunflowers in their yard, and the peaceful life of an ordinary Tier One courtyard.

Every day, they watered plants and loosened soil, cooked and argued, disliked each other in the sunset yet relied on each other all the same.

Why?

Because in this apocalypse, being able to protect an ordinary life of three meals a day with one's family was the most extravagant thing of all.

All he could say was that his parents saw things clearly.

Lin Yue recalled something his father had once said.

That day, Lin Yue had been sitting blankly on the courtyard steps when Lin Xiaotian came over carrying a kettle to water the Chomper's roots. He casually said, "When the sky falls, the tall people will hold it up. When all those tall people fall, I'll go hold it up. Before that, nothing matters more than living a good life with you and your mom."

Lin Yue had said nothing at the time, but he had remembered it ever since.

He pushed open the bathroom door and turned on the shower. Hot water poured down, slowly washing the plant slime from his body.

Steam filled the cramped bathroom, fogging the glass white. Through the haze, he looked at his blurred reflection in the mirror and suddenly felt that he was actually quite lucky.

He really was lucky. What could be luckier than having a happy family?

How many of his classmates' parents had already fallen in their courtyards? How many people would never again hear someone say, "You're back," at dinner time?

Yet every day when he pushed open his front door, the Chomper would pounce on him and give him a sticky bite. His mom would poke her head out of the kitchen and say, "Go shower and eat." His dad would lean against the doorframe and use the nastiest words to express the warmest concern.

Water rushed noisily as his mother shouted from outside the bathroom, "Lin Yue! Don't take too long! The water heater can't heat that much water!"

"Got it..."

Then his father's voice cut in. "Let him wash. With that slime all over him, he'd better not come to the table until he's clean!"

"Will it kill you to say less?"

"It will!"

The spatula smacked sharply against the cutting board, followed by his father's exaggerated wail. "Ow! Wife, I was wrong!"

Did that sound nice?

If it sounded nice, then it was nice.

Lin Yue grinned beneath the hot water and laughed out loud.

After showering, he changed into clean lounge clothes. His hair was still wet and dripping as he pulled out a chair and sat at the dining table.

Three sets of bowls and chopsticks sat on the table. A large platter of glistening braised pork steamed in the middle, its thick, dark sauce coating every neat cube of pork belly. Beside it was a plate of stir-fried Bok Choy with vinegar, pale green and white stalks covered in light brown vinegar sauce, its tangy fragrance rushing straight into his nose.

At the center was a large bowl of tomato egg-drop soup, red and yellow mingling together. Thin ribbons of egg floated on the surface, topped with a sprinkle of bright green scallions.

Just as Lin Yue lifted his bowl and reached his chopsticks toward the braised pork, Lin Xiaotian's chopsticks precisely intercepted them. He snatched the largest piece and stuffed it into his own mouth, mumbling, "Your dad will test it for poison first."

"You... old man... You've eaten it for more than ten years. If it were poisonous, you'd have died ages ago."

"Doesn't that just prove your dad is immune to all poisons?"

"Your skin is too thick. The poison can't get through."

Father and son glared at each other. They moved their chopsticks at the same time and grabbed the same piece of meat, launching a silent war in midair.

Li Xue sighed, picked up the serving chopsticks, and placed two pieces in their bowls, one for each of them. Her tone was gentle yet final. "One each. Stop fighting. Lin Yue, eat more vegetables. Lin Xiaotian, eat less fatty meat. Did you not see the cholesterol results on your physical report last week?"

"If your blood pressure still doesn't go down by the next physical exam, I'm going to put you on an all-green-pepper menu."

"Nooo~"

Planting Talent

Lin Xiaotian immediately sat up straight and hurriedly picked up a strip of Bok Choy with his chopsticks, stuffing it into his mouth with an expression that said, See how obedient I am?

Li Xue could not be bothered with him. She turned to Lin Yue, and her gaze softened.

No matter how she looked at him, her own child was handsome.

"By the way, you little bastard."

Lin Xiaotian swallowed the meat in his mouth, wiped his lips, and leaned closer. He lowered his voice mysteriously, that smugly irritating expression returning to his face. "So, have you awakened any Planting Talent? Your mom and dad are both so awesome. You must've inherited at least a little, right?"

Lin Yue had been shoveling rice into his mouth, but he froze for a moment as well. He answered vaguely, "No idea... Someone as powerful as me doesn't need outside help like that, but someone as powerful as me should definitely have that kind of talent."

Thinking about it carefully, over the past eighteen years, he had handled plants no differently from ordinary children. Watering was just watering, and loosening soil was just loosening soil. He had neither made the Peashooter shoot faster nor made the Sunflowers produce more.

Compared with his parents' talents, which were like being born farming prodigies, he was an utterly ordinary person.

"Right, do you have one or not?" Li Xue put down her chopsticks too, her eyes lighting up. "If your dad hadn't mentioned it, I almost would've forgotten. Didn't your school test you all together before?"

"No! The school even handles that?" Lin Yue shook his head.

"The school said inspections outside are strict now. The Federal Military Department actively screens talented young people... They say they'll be directly drafted away, so schools no longer test students voluntarily."

More importantly, many students who had not yet grown up would often receive summons from strange influential figures after learning that they had talent. As for where they ended up, some outcomes were good and some were bad.

"When you usually tend flowers and plants, have you ever felt anything different?" Li Xue leaned forward, her eyes full of concern.

Lin Yue thought again, then shook his head. "No, it all feels normal. You know what I mean, Mom? Maybe talent skips a generation. It got hidden when it came to mine."

"Or maybe it was too scared to come out because of the kingly aura around me."

"Hah!" Lin Xiaotian slapped his chopsticks onto the table, looking thoroughly unconvinced. "Nonsense! Your dad's talent has been passed down through the family. Your grandpa had it too. How could it vanish when it got to you? This kind of thing does depend on luck, but your mom and I both have it. You may be a mess, but there shouldn't be a problem."

Lin Xiaotian did not get to finish.

Li Xue suddenly grabbed a slipper from beside the table and swiftly, accurately, and ruthlessly smacked it against Lin Xiaotian's face with a loud slap, leaving a clear shoe print on his cheek.

The smoothness of the motion, the tricky angle, and the precise force all showed the skill accumulated over more than a decade of marriage.

Lin Xiaotian tipped backward. The slipper slid down the bridge of his nose before dropping onto the table with a smack, leaving a faint red shoe print on his face.

He blinked, his expression changing from bewilderment to grievance in a single second.

"Wife, what was that for? What did I say wrong now?"

"You talk without thinking, don't you?" Li Xue glared at him, took the slipper off the table, set it back in place, and lowered her voice.

"Who dares talk about talent outside these days? What if the neighbors hear? If they report it to the Military Department, our son will be sent to the Frontline Special Training Camp tomorrow. Could you bear that?"

"Did you forget how those old geezers in the military tried desperately to make us stay at the base? If it weren't for our stubborn couch-potato personalities, would we have ever escaped?"

Lin Xiaotian touched the shoe print on his face and opened his mouth. Then he suddenly came to his senses, put on a fawning smile that said, Wife, you're right, and sighed resignedly.

"Fine, fine, fine. I'll shut up. But the Awakening Stone we bought that day is still in the drawer. Why not take it out and test him? We'll just close the door and test it at home. No one will know. Aren't you curious as a mother?"

Li Xue paused, her gaze falling on Lin Yue as the corner of her mouth curled slightly.

Of course she was curious.

What mother would not be curious about her own child, especially when his mother was so outstanding?

But she was even more afraid that the test would show Lin Yue truly had no talent. Under the brilliance of his two parents, would he not feel utterly ashamed?

She fell silent for two seconds before finally putting down her chopsticks and standing up.

"Wait here."

Li Xue turned and went into the bedroom. Her footsteps thudded across the wooden floor, followed by the rustling sound of drawers being searched through. It seemed she had forgotten where she had put it.

Taking advantage of the absence of the lady of the house, Lin Xiaotian quickly picked up the last piece of braised pork from the plate and put it in his bowl. He winked at Lin Yue.

Lin Yue rolled his eyes, then extended his chopsticks with perfect precision, took the meat back, stuffed it into his mouth, and chewed with great satisfaction.

"You little brat..."

"You deserved it, stinky old man."

Father and son stared each other down across the table. Steam still rose from the soup in their bowls, the night outside had turned completely black, and the plants in the courtyard breathed quietly beneath the moonlight.

As Lin Yue chewed that hard-won piece of braised pork, he suddenly felt...

Whether he had talent or not did not seem all that important.

Because Lin Yue wanted to be a couch potato like his parents too. Even if he possessed the strength to rise above his class, he would rather stay in this otherworld and be a leisurely farmer.

He did not want zombies chewing off his head.

And before that, he could still peacefully finish his final dinner in this warm home.

"Mom, have you found it yet?"

"Coming, coming. You're all rushing me like I'm dying." The sound of Li Xue rummaging through the bedroom came from inside. Drawers opened and closed, and papers rustled as she flipped through them.

"I don't know which bastard stuffed the Awakening Stone into some out-of-the-way corner. It's hidden pretty well."

The hand holding Lin Xiaotian's rice bowl paused slightly. He lowered his head and took two bites of rice without daring to make a sound. He had put the stone away, but he could not remember where he had shoved it now.

He could not take the blame for this. He had to talk his way out of it!

Footsteps thudded closer to the dining table. Lin Yue swallowed the meat in his mouth, set down his chopsticks, and sat up straight. His heartbeat suddenly quickened by a beat. Without even realizing it, his fingers had quietly clenched the fabric of his pant leg.