Everyone Plants Zombies: I Can Add Passives to Plants

It was mainly because there were rumors that the other guy was into men.

Yeah!

Whenever Wang Mao went to someone's house to tutor them, he would spend the first half hour chatting with their parents after entering. "Uncle this," "Auntie that," praising their child for having potential and saying he was only there to lend a hand. After flattering the parents until they beamed with delight and practically wanted to acknowledge him as their godson on the spot, Wang Mao would finally close the door and begin "serious teaching."

His teaching posture was rather unique. Whenever he reached an important point, he insisted on pressing down on your shoulder and leaning close to your ear to repeat himself word by word. Every so often, he would even pat the back of your head. When you answered a question correctly, he might inexplicably ruffle your hair before revealing a very, very strange smile.

Even more bizarrely, sometimes this guy would gradually press himself against you while teaching.

A terrifying joke circulated privately through the class: supposedly, once he had tutored a male classmate at home until eleven at night. When he left, the tips of his ears were bright red, and his shirt buttons were fastened incorrectly.

That male classmate took the next day off. When he came back on the third day and saw Wang Mao, he avoided him, continuing to do so for a full two weeks.

Although the person involved later explained that he had fallen asleep because they had studied too late, and that Wang Mao had only messed up his clothes while covering him with a blanket, the story still gained countless exaggerated versions as it spread through the class.

"We've got a ghost! There's a ghost in our class!"

Lin Yue, even someone as powerful as me fears gays?

Lin Yue sat by the window in the back row, looking at Wang Mao sitting in front of him. Why did this guy get more attention than he did? He refused to accept it.

He carefully recalled whether Wang Mao had ever given him "special treatment." Fortunately, his grades had always been above average, his plant knowledge was memorized backward and forward, and he had never received an invitation for tutoring.

The only time he had interacted with Wang Mao privately was one noon when he had woken up late and forgotten to bring lunch. He had been lying on his desk, preparing to tough out the afternoon, when Wang Mao carried an extra box of braised-pork rice to his desk. He slammed it down, his ears red, his eyes fixed on the window, and said in an extremely stiff tone, "The cafeteria gave me an extra serving. I can't finish it. Deal with it." Then he turned and left.

At the time, Lin Yue had not yet awakened the wisdom of his past life. Not only was Jiahao still a hardcore chuunibyou, but with a single sentence, he had nearly destroyed Wang Mao's confidence.

"I didn't expect you to have such good taste. You even invested in me ahead of time. Don't worry. I'll protect you in the future."

Looking back now...

Damn! The more he thought about it, the more terrifying it became!

Had that meal been bought especially for him? What was going on? Why had Wang Mao secretly glanced back at him when he left?!

Lin Yue shuddered and hurriedly shook off the chill clinging to him. He firmly buried that memory and resolved not to dig any deeper.

But in all fairness, although Wang Mao's reputation among the male students was somewhat questionable, as class monitor, he was impossible to fault.

Whenever the whole class did a thorough cleaning, Wang Mao took care of all the dirtiest and most exhausting jobs. Wiping the fans, moving the bookcases, cleaning the storage room at the end of the corridor that had accumulated dust for years—he did all of it alone.

During the final-exam review period, he photocopied fifty copies of the garden notes his father had given him, one for every student.

They contained detailed records of various Zombies' movement speeds and attacks, as well as the optimal placement angles for the corresponding plants. They were even more practical than the textbook. As expected of materials compiled by the military.

The only thing that made people nervous was his obsession with "poor students."

Wang Mao always said, "If you don't thoroughly digest the knowledge now, how will you survive once you enter the garden?"

Whenever he said this, his eyes were exceptionally serious, and his whole person radiated an almost obsessive anxiety.

Lin Yue eventually figured it out. All of Wang Mao's elders were on the front lines. Every year, he received casualty lists from his family. They might include the parents of some classmate's acquaintance, neighbor, or even childhood playmate. He had seen too many people die in the gardens because they were inadequately prepared, so he was determined to make sure everyone around him was ready, no matter what it took.

He was afraid those people would die.

Terrified of it.

It was just that his way of showing concern made people's skin crawl a little.

It was just like Captain Levi from Attack on Titan: afraid of losing his comrades, yet desperately trying to strengthen them so they would have a greater chance of surviving.

"Since we can only bring one plant inside," Wang Mao cleared his throat and drew everyone's attention back, "my grandfather managed to get me a Cherry Bomb. It'll just barely meet the threshold for the first run, and I can use it to turn things around at a critical moment."

"Hiss~"

The entire classroom resounded with synchronized gasps.

A Cherry Bomb! An Ash Plant! That was a military-controlled item. An ordinary garden owner might not be able to exchange enough merit for even one after saving for a year.

The terrifying thing about Ash Plants was that their burst damage could instantly clear all low-tier Zombies from an entire area. After the explosion, a Cherry Bomb seed would remain at the site. In other words, as long as you had one, there was a chance of obtaining more during subsequent battles in the garden.

Among new students, this thing was an absolute killing weapon—one plant was worth ten.

"Holy crap! Young Master Wang, you're awesome!"

"I'm so jealous... I absolutely have to be assigned to the same neighborhood as you tomorrow!"

"Young Master Wang, please, let me live next door. I'll work like an ox or horse for you!"

"+1!"

"+10086!"

"Damn, the guy above stole my line!"

A crowd gathered around Wang Mao, chattering noisily. By the window, Lin Yue silently rolled his eyes.

To be honest, he also really wanted to be assigned to the same neighborhood as Wang Mao. Who wouldn't want a powerhouse with a Cherry Bomb by their side?

After all, he was only a fake Jiahao. At most, he could be sharper with his words or stranger in his actions.

Who wouldn't want to cling to a powerhouse? But he absolutely could not live next door.

Old Wang next door.

Just hearing it sounded terrifying.

Lin Yue stroked his chin and assessed his own looks. Slightly above average, fair skin, reasonably large eyes, and naturally curly hair. He could be considered one of the more refined-looking students in class, except that his usual behavior was very easy to misunderstand.

That seemed a little dangerous.

What if he really lived next door to Wang Mao, and this guy came knocking on his door every day with food he claimed he "couldn't finish"...

Lin Yue decisively strangled that thought.

Safety first.

Safety first.

Lin Yue pulled his thoughts back and returned his attention to himself.

Based on the memories of these eighteen years, his parents were merely ordinary Plant Garden owners. They were neither prominent nor wealthy, but they had always been especially attentive to him.

On his sixth birthday, his father had somehow obtained a deep-purple seed and solemnly placed it in his hands. "Take good care of it. It'll protect you."

That was the plant companion he had raised until now: a Chomper.

For over a decade, they had been together every day. Lin Yue watered it daily, pruned it, and occasionally fed it small insects as snacks. The Chomper had grown exceptionally well, with a thick stem and plump leaves. When its distinctive enormous mouth opened, it could almost swallow a person's head.

It had recently matured successfully, though for some reason, it especially liked biting his head.

What surprised Lin Yue most was that his Chomper was a full size larger than normal Chompers. Standing in the corner of the garden, it looked like a small shrub. When it opened its mouth, green, glittering saliva stretched in silvery threads between its teeth. Just looking at it made his teeth ache.

As others would put it, it had grown in an excellent environment and had always enjoyed a steady food supply. Naturally, it had flourished.

"With a Chomper as my starting plant, how could I lose?" Lin Yue encouraged himself inwardly.

Although the Chomper was not as shocking as an Ash Plant like the Cherry Bomb and lacked the Peashooter's stable ranged output, its advantage lay in the concept of single-target attacks.

When faced with a high-health, high-threat single-target Zombie, all it had to do was find an opportunity to bite down. Whether it was a Buckethead Zombie or a Conehead Zombie, once swallowed and chewed a few times, it was gone.

Moreover, Lin Yue's Chomper was slightly larger, so it ate faster and digested faster. It was practically a little tyrant.

Lin Yue knew that once he entered the garden tomorrow, the Chomper his parents had given him would be his most reliable companion.

The classroom's commotion continued. Some people excitedly tried to cozy up to Wang Mao, some quietly opened their notebooks to memorize the Plant Almanac, and some lay on their desks in a daze, staring at the ceiling.

As for the one trying to cozy up to him, Lin Yue really wanted to ask: Didn't you know that before asking Wang Mao for a favor, you had to take off your shirt?

Didn't you have any awareness as a man?

The sky outside had gone completely dark. The streetlights came on, and their dim yellow glow shone through the glass onto the desks, stretching every student's shadow long.

Such a beautiful dusk. He hoped it wasn't the last one he would ever see.

A Blissful Family 1

When Lin Yue pushed open his courtyard gate, the sky was sinking inch by inch into darkness.

The sky over the Ninth Federal District was suffused with a crushed orange-red hue, as if that damn Dave had spilled an entire jar of jam across the clouds. The afterglow flowed down along the plant walls on both sides of the street, gilding the swaying leaves with a fuzzy golden edge.

"Just look at my damn charm. Even the sun is so ashamed that it's sinking away."

Lin Yue's family lived on the old street in District Nine, in a two-story house with a courtyard. Green vines covered the gray exterior walls, while several plump Wall-nut seedlings were piled by the foot of the wall, round as a row of chubby little men squatting there for a nap.

In the Federation District, a neighborhood like this was already considered respectable. It could not compare to the core residential districts reserved for military officers, but at least it had its own courtyard and walls, enough space to plant a ring of defensive plants.

This was all thanks to his father and mother's more than ten years of hard work in the Plant Garden.

The courtyard was lush and green. Dozens of plants in various shapes were arranged throughout it, tall and short, covering the entire ground.

A row of Peashooters stood along the wall. Their emerald stems were straight and tall, topped with round, cannon-like heads. At that moment, they swayed their heads lazily with the breeze, like carefree children, conversing in their unique plant body language.

The central area belonged to the Sunflowers. More than a dozen Sunflowers stood there in brilliant gold, their flower disks tilted slightly westward as they chased the last traces of sunlight. Their warm, bright yellow glow made the entire courtyard look brighter and more reassuring.

There were also several immature Potato Mines in the corner. They had curled themselves into little mounds of earth and rested quietly in the soil, like steamed buns.

The air carried the damp scent of earth and the distinctive fragrance of plants, mixed with the aroma of food drifting from the distant kitchen window. It was the smell of braised pork. Lin Yue's nose twitched slightly, and his stomach immediately rumbled in response.

No lie, he was really hungry...

Lin Yue had just lifted his foot to enter when the densest clump of purple plants by the courtyard gate suddenly moved.

He knew that enormous mouth far too well.

Its dark-purple, fleshy leaves folded together layer by layer into a sinister yet comical giant mouth, lined with rows of fine, soft fleshy teeth. When closed, it looked like a huge purple flower bud, quietly squatting by the gate and pretending to be an ornamental plant.

But it seemed to recognize its owner's footsteps. The entire Chomper suddenly shuddered, its stem bending like a bow as its thick vines shot forward like a spring released.

"What the hell?!"

Before Lin Yue's words had even finished, everything before his eyes turned black.

"Who turned off the lights?"

It wasn't nightfall, nor had anyone turned off the lights. The Chomper's enormous mouth had descended with perfect accuracy, like a damp purple quilt dropping from the sky and enveloping his entire upper body.

Inside its mouth was warm, its inner walls covered in tender, fleshy tooth pads that pressed tightly against his face. A large tongue even rubbed back and forth across his cheeks, carrying the cool, fishy scent of plants. It didn't hurt—in fact, it was somewhat soft and squishy, like being thoroughly licked by a giant, sticky dog's tongue.

"Spit me out! Otherwise, I'm going to squeeze you into plant oil tonight!!!"

A moment later, cold, slimy liquid splashed across him. It flowed from the top of his head to his neck and then into his collar, gurgling as it ran down his skin.

"Wait, buddy, why are you drooling?"

Lin Yue hung suspended in place, both hands still raised in the pose he had been using to open the gate. After standing there blankly for two seconds, he finally realized what was happening.

This silly, adorable Chomper was acting coquettishly.

Who taught you to act cute?! Tell me, and I won't beat him to death!

The Chomper's fleshy teeth moved gently a few times, as if confirming its owner's scent, or expressing the joy of "You're finally back! I missed you so much!"

It even tightened its grip slightly, drawing Lin Yue's shoulders farther inside. Then the entire plant swayed in satisfaction, like a sleepy cat that had finally gotten hold of its favorite toy.

After just two or three seconds, the Chomper seemed to have had enough fun. It opened its mouth wide and spat Lin Yue out with a "pff."

Lin Yue staggered back two steps and landed heavily on the courtyard's stone paving. His back struck the stem of a Sunflower, shaking several golden petals loose. They drifted down onto his soaked head.

Lin Yue lowered his head and looked at himself. From his strands of hair to his neck, from his school-uniform collar to his chest, his off-white senior-year uniform was completely drenched in sticky plant saliva. The crystal-clear slime trickled from his hem and seeped into a small puddle on the stone ground.

His face was sticky, and his bangs had clumped together against his forehead. Even blinking made his eyelashes stick together.

"Fine... you really are something..."

Lin Yue gritted his teeth and gave the Chomper a thumbs-up, his expression caught between laughter and tears.

The Chomper tilted its enormous head. Its purple leaves lightly patted themselves, wearing a smug expression that seemed to say, "You're welcome."

Just then, the house door opened.

"You're back? Hurry inside and eat... Oh my, what happened to you?"

The woman who stepped out had her hair braided loosely, the braid hanging over her right shoulder and tied at the end with a plain cloth ribbon.

She wore a light-gray knitted house sweater, with flour still dusting her apron. One hand rested against the doorframe, while the other held a spatula. Bathed in the warm yellow light spilling from the living room, her brows and eyes curved gently, like snowmelt thawed by spring.

This was Lin Yue's mother, Li Xue.

She was just like her name.

In his memories, Lin Yue had looked through photographs of her when she was young. In a white dress, with long, straight black hair, she stood beside the Ninth High School athletic field, her eyes coldly glancing at the camera. A three-meter radius around her seemed to be a vacuum zone. She was the kind of woman who could kill with a glance. When boys lined up to deliver love letters, she wouldn't even spare them a look. She was publicly recognized as an icy goddess.

But the mother Lin Yue had seen since birth was completely different. Fine lines appeared at the corners of her eyes when she smiled. She would squat in the courtyard, loosen the soil around seedlings, and hum off-key songs. In winter, she would wrap his scarf around him an extra two times. Whenever he failed an exam, she would pat his head and say, "It's all right. Next time, your mom will grow you a Smart Plant."

Gentle. Considerate.