Warhammer Trait Roulette

Lin En had never run this fast in his life.

Really, no exaggeration. Really.

Getting caught by the PE teacher would at most earn him a kick.

Getting caught by Chaos Cultists with knives would mean ^%&*#@... AAAAAAH!!!

And there were Chaos Spawn that ate people.

Lin En ran with tears streaming down his face. "Warhammer 40,000—!!! It's Warhammer 40,000—!!!"

Warhammer!!!!!!

He had transmigrated into Warhammer!!!!!!

When people scrolled through Warhammer memes online, it was all, "Hahaha, loyal!", "I ain't loyal no more!", "Slaanesh!", "Prepare to board! Justice from above!", "Your daddy's here, traitor! Die!"...

That was when they were sitting at home in front of a computer, with cola at hand, their characters free to leap in and slap the hell out of someone, and able to close the game and return to reality whenever they wanted.

But now that this day had actually come, he was standing in a pitch-black cave, with seven or eight cultists and a pack of grotesque Chaos Spawn chasing him from behind, while he had no idea whether there was even a way forward—

Why don't you try it, then?! AAAAAAH—!!!!!

Behind him came the cultists' amused voices, like cats playing with mice before eating them.

"He can't run far."

"Catch him and offer him to our master—"

"Fresh flesh..."

"After him—!"

Tears sprayed from Lin En's eyes.

Was he seriously just transmigrating like this?!! Didn't he get a cheat? Where the hell was his cheat?!!!

"System! System, are you there—!!!"

Honestly, he had not held out much hope when he called for it.

It would have been nice if calling for something actually made it appear.

But just as he was fleeing for his life in despair, a ding suddenly rang out in his head, followed by a voice.

"Ding—!"

It was as though someone had lightly struck a bell within his consciousness.

Then an illusory white panel unfolded before his eyes.

The system spoke: [...]

Lin En could not believe it. "—What?!"

[Nothing. The system is very displeased to be at your service.]

The system switched to an official, polite, fake-smile tone and got to work. [Host, you really are the best runner this system has ever seen. You're just a little noisy. You've been shouting Emperor, Emperor, Emperor this whole time. The Emperor is sitting on the Golden Throne—he can't hear you. And if you're going to run, could you stop screaming? Your voice is louder than those cultists behind you. Are you afraid they won't be able to find you?]

The more it spoke, the more irritable it became.

It looked like it had quite the temper too.

But Lin En, being chased down by a pack of Chaos Cultists and Chaos Spawn, exploded in rage. "You're a system! What the hell are you being smug about?!!! If you've got functions, say so! If you don't, shut up! Stop interrupting me while I'm running for my life!!!!!"

[Can't the host stop for a moment first?]

"If I stop, I'll die, damn it!! Are you trying to get me killed so you can find another host?!!"

[...Fine.] The system sighed.

Then it unfolded a roulette panel before Lin En. It looked like a crisp OLED screen, its wheel packed with countless colored sections and traits.

[Detected that the host has transmigrated into the Warhammer 40,000 universe.]

[Hello, host. I am the Trait Draw System. This is our Trait Roulette.]

[System Name: Trait Roulette.]

[System Function: Causality. Traits drawn will become reality.]

[One draw is available every fifteen days. Unlocking key Plot Points grants additional draws.]

[Trait Rarity: White → Green → Blue → Purple → Gold → Rainbow.]

[Current trait equip limit: 1 (can be increased through future unlocks).]

[First draw is ready. Draw now?]

Lin En scanned the roulette's information at a glance as he ran.

The wheel was crammed full of traits.

White took up the largest area, followed by green, then blue, purple, gold, and rainbow...

Layer upon layer, each one smaller than the last.

With one sweep of his eyes, Lin En saw item-type traits, skill-type traits, concept-type traits...

It was dazzling.

[Lasgun]

[Bolter]

[Power Armor]

[Stamina Enhancement]

[Rapid Healing]

[Danger Sense]

[Temporary Shield]

[Ballistic Calculation]

[Weapon Enchantment]

[Tactical Rehearsal]

At the very top of the roulette was a single, separate rainbow trait. It occupied its own area, glowing brilliantly—larger, brighter, and more outrageously conspicuous than every other trait.

[Throne Liberation].

[Throne Liberation]: Allow the Emperor to leave the Throne at his peak condition without becoming a god.

Uh.

No, what?? Wait??? What did you say???? What was that?????

Let the Emperor leave the Throne?

At his peak condition?

Without becoming a god????

Was he the Emperor's dad???

Wouldn't his whole life be set if he drew that trait?!!!!

I'm loyal again!!!

The system said lazily, [Looks good, doesn't it, host? This system's ultimate trait. If you draw it, you'll be the savior of Warhammer 40,000, and the Emperor himself will serve you tea.]

"I don't need him to serve me tea..."

[But stop looking. You can't draw it.]

"...Huh?!"

[An ultimate trait means that, unless you've accumulated an astronomical number of Plot Points, the odds of drawing it are practically zero. And by practically zero, I mean the odds are lower than you doing ten Tenth Company draws in a row without getting a single SSR. It's just there to look pretty. It's actually a black box. It's zero. Do you understand?]

Lin En stared at the glowing [Throne Liberation], feeling like a donkey with a carrot dangling before its face.

He had been baited.

"Then what does it take to draw it?!"

Seeing that he genuinely wanted to draw it, the system's attitude improved slightly. [Host, you must first clear the beginner village.]

"What's the beginner village?!"

[You're in the beginner village right now.]

Lin En looked at the Chaos Cultists and Chaos Spawn drawing ever closer behind him, then smiled through his tears. "...Aren't the monsters in this beginner village way too high-level?!"

[That's just Warhammer 40,000. Play if you want, don't play—]

"I want to go home—!!!"

[Can't go back. Why not try dying? You can head straight back to your happy hometown.]

"I'll play! I'll play, okay?!" Tears flew everywhere.

The Chaos Cultists behind him caught up again.

Screw it, draw first. At least give him a weapon or a combat skill—

"Draw, draw, draw! I'm drawing!!!!!"

The system prompted: [First draw, using the free fifteen-day slot.]

The enormous roulette began spinning at high speed. The needle streaked across all sorts of traits, and Lin En stared at it, his heart racing faster than it had when he was fleeing for his life.

Give him a combat skill.

Give him a weapon.

Give him anything that would let him kill that pile of things behind him—

Lin En shouted, "Stop!!!!"

The needle stopped.

[ Ding—]

[Congratulations, host. You have obtained the trait: Flashlight.]

[Rarity: White (Common)]

[Effect: Turns on a light. Moderate brightness, eight-hour battery life, cannot be used as a weapon.]

[...]

The air fell into an awkward silence for a second.

A floating orb of illumination appeared beside Lin En. It shone with white light, lighting an area roughly three meters around him.

"?!!!"

Could it turn off?

"Turn off."

Click. It went dark.

"Turn on."

Click. It lit up.

It was convenient, sure, but... Damn it! What use was a flashlight!?

The system made a [Tsk] sound.

"System!!! I'm being chased by Chaos Cultists in Warhammer 40,000, and for my first beginner-village draw you gave me a flashlight!!!!!"

A poet?!

Where was the weapon?! The beginner village didn't even give weapons?!

One draw every fifteen days—could he survive until the next fifteen days?!!!

[We're only a roulette system, dear. What you draw depends on the host.] Your lousy luck drew it yourself.

"Doesn't the roulette have any pity system?!!!!!"

[It does, dear. Completing key Plot Points can earn you a guaranteed gold-rarity trait or above.]

"Then can you just tell me all at once what counts as a key plot point, QAQ?!!"

[Completing the beginner-village mission, completing your first battle, seeing a Primarch for the first time, seeing the Emperor for the first time—things like that.]

Then Lin En continued running in despair.

The success rate looked lower than 0.01%.

If he did not run faster and fell into the hands of the Chaos Cultists, he would become sacrificial material. Making memes was one thing, but when the day truly came, who would want to fall into the hands of the Chaos faction?

Now Lin En was catching his breath in this narrow cavern.

The flashlight was actually pretty useful.

With its light, he could see the road ahead and no longer had to flee through the dark.

He had spent the whole day running for his life.

He was just an ordinary shut-in from the twenty-first century. Today, he had run at least twenty kilometers—a full marathon—and his legs felt like they had no strength left.

He was hopeless. Truly hopeless. "Emperor, are you there?"

No good, really no good. "I ain't loyal no more."