Rolling Traits in Warhammer: The Emperor Has Stood Up?

Also known as: I'm Your Daddy. [Male lead with no romance 😁 + Doraemon-style childhood manga protagonist 😁 + Humanity Is Invincible 😁]

"I've transmigrated into Warhammer 40,000. I don't know which planet this is. It should be an abandoned underground cave in the bottom levels of a fallen hive city, with Chaos abominations constantly flickering around me and Chaos cultists patrolling nearby. The system gave me my first trait: [Flashlight]. That's right-not a lasgun, but a freaking flashlight. Emperor, are you there?"

At first, I was honestly pretty panicked-until I rolled these five abilities.

1. Thirty Days [Can survive for thirty days in any battle against any enemy].

2. Immune to psychic powers, while still being able to use them myself.

3. Super Psyker [Raise psychic power to its absolute limit].

4. Temporarily Block the Hive Mind [Can control a certain number of Tyranid organisms based on psychic strength].

5. Let the Emperor leave the Golden Throne in his peak condition without becoming a god.

...Wait, what? Hold on? What did you say?? What exactly did you say I could do????

So it turns out I'm humanity's cheat code. [Absolutely certain]

*

"You four in the Warp, just you wait. I'll call you out one by one and leave no survivors. And you lot out there-the Necrons, Aeldari, Orks, T'au-you'd better wait for me too. And you, Tyranids. Don't think I'm not talking about you."

"I don't know! What do you mean, humanity's darkest hour? What do you mean, a grimdark universe? I'm just a cheat code who doesn't understand anything. If you have something to say, go talk to the Emperor now that he's standing up."

*

: "Assemble. It's time for a fight."

: "Since when did you start giving orders?"

: "The Emperor just stood up."

: "Who are we fighting? Where are we fighting?!"

: "Everyone! Fight them all! Move! Everybody, move!"

Even readers who have never read Warhammer can enjoy this.