Brain Stuck in a Rut

The ward was quiet for a long time.

Long enough for even the sparrows outside the window to change shifts.

"...Fine." Yang Chen leaned back, and the bandages rustled beneath his hospital gown. "I've already been caught, so ask what you want."

He did not deny it.

There was no point in denying it—the girl across from him, holding a Record Book, had clear eyes and had obviously already settled on her judgment.

Even if he denied it, what use would that be?

"Why have you consistently refused to contact the Association?"

"Registration requires a physical examination."

Yang Chen was succinct.

"What's wrong with a physical examination—"

Celestial Star stopped halfway through her sentence.

Her gaze slowly lowered, landing on the bandage-wrapped body beneath the blankets, then slowly rose again, settling on that excessively delicate face.

"...Oh, right."

"Oh, right."

Yang Chen repeated it expressionlessly.

A man becoming a Magical Girl—ever since Magical Girls had first appeared, it had never happened before.

With something so strange happening to him, Yang Chen naturally felt bewildered and uneasy. Of course, he would instinctively be unwilling to contact an official organization.

His reason for refusing to contact the Association was perfectly legitimate.

"Reasonable." Celestial Star nodded, the tip of her pen scratching across the page. "Second question."

"Why have you hidden your identity to this extent? The Regalia blocks people's vision, so you can just go about your normal activities. But you've even cut every connection between 'Love' and 'Yang Chen' cleanly—at the concert, you'd rather crawl through underground pipes than transform in the crowd."

"This is pathological-level caution. Why?"

Yang Chen was silent for a while.

"Do you know that when a man transforms into a Magical Girl, he has to pay a price?"

"A price?"

"Every time I transform..." He stared at his fingers. "My body changes a little."

"My hair, eyebrows, eyes, voice, skeleton... Little by little, they change in a feminine direction. It's irreversible. At first, I was merely delicate-looking. Later, people started mistaking me for a girl. And now—"

He spread his hands.

Celestial Star looked Yang Chen up and down again.

Indeed, Yang Chen now had the quintessential natural body of a femboy. Even his Adam's apple had nearly disappeared.

At least, without knowing the truth beforehand, Celestial Star absolutely would not believe Yang Chen was a boy.

"So?"

Changes were changes, but Celestial Star still did not know what inevitable connection there was between Yang Chen's transformation and his hiding his identity.

"At this rate, Yang Chen will completely disappear from this world. When that day comes, what am I supposed to tell Qianqian and Uncle and Auntie?"

"They won't believe it. Even if they do..."

His voice fell.

"You've never experienced that feeling. Looking into their eyes and imagining how they'll look at you after they learn the truth."

"Surprise? Pity? Or..."

The sound of the pen in the ward stopped.

"So," Celestial Star said softly, "the third question already has its answer."

"That day at the warehouse, you didn't transform and let the Fallen Beast tear you apart like that—not merely because a blade was held to Thousand Blades' neck."

"You wanted 'Yang Chen' to die there."

"A reasonable, clean death that no one would have to face. Then 'Love' could continue to exist, while 'Yang Chen' made a dignified exit."

"Yes." Yang Chen did not deny it. "But she ruined it all with that one yell."

Celestial Star closed the Record Book.

She leaned against the back of her chair and looked at the battered man on the hospital bed for a very, very long time.

Then she let out a long, long sigh.

"I understand now."

"What do you understand?"

"I've confirmed one thing." Celestial Star pushed up her glasses, wearing an expression usually reserved for idiots. "You're not some unfathomable master."

"You're just stubborn in the head."

Yang Chen: "...Huh?"

"Let me ask you something." Celestial Star raised one finger. "You call yourself a Pure Love Warrior, fighting to protect everyone's love."

"'The power of love is infinite and can break through any obstacle.' You said that too, didn't you?"

"I did. What about it?"

"You're love's most steadfast champion." Celestial Star enunciated every word. "Then you should understand better than anyone that—"

"No matter what you become, the love people who care about you have for you won't change."

Yang Chen's breathing stopped for half a beat.

"You sing every day about how unbreakable other people's love is, but when it comes to yourself, you're the first to stop believing?" Celestial Star's voice rose a few notches. "You're afraid their attitude toward you will change bit by bit along with your appearance... But is Chen Qianqian that kind of person? Are Uncle and Auntie that kind of people?"

"That clean death you imagined wouldn't be liberation for them. It would be losing you a second time. Seven years ago, they lost their dearest friend—your parents—and then painstakingly warmed the shattered you back to life bit by bit. Now you intend to personally arrange a reasonable death and make them suffer all over again?"

"You're really a selfish person. Your entire head is filled with yourself."

The ward fell silent as death.

Yang Chen opened and closed his mouth.

No sound came out.

Over the years, he had walked this path through his mind a thousand times. Every step was reasonable, and every step was for everyone's sake.

But at this moment, this girl who had only met him twice had dismantled it in a few words, leaving nothing intact.

—No matter what you become, the love people who care about you have for you won't change.

He believed those words.

He had told them to Knight, to Knight's mother, and to everyone trapped in the darkness.

He had simply never dared to say them to himself.

"I..."

He heard his own voice, terribly hoarse.

"I need... to think about it."

"No rush." Celestial Star rose to her feet and tucked the Record Book beneath her arm. "At present, I'm the only person in the entire world who knows your secret. Whether a second person will learn it depends on what you think and do next."

She walked to the door and placed her hand on the handle, but suddenly stopped.

"Oh, right. One last question."

"Just out of personal curiosity."

She turned around, her expression completely serious:

"Who came up with the name 'True Pure Love Invincible Purification Fist'?"

"..."

"Get out."

"Then you can at least tell me the details of your abilities, right? I need to record them in the file."

Celestial Star picked up her pen.

Yang Chen hesitated.

"Omnipotent type... I can sense love and draw power from it... The form that power takes depends on what I need... It can attack, defend, and even heal..."

"As long as it's powerful enough, I can even stop time."

Listening to Yang Chen's description, Celestial Star froze.

"What the hell?!"