Attending My Own Funeral [Bonus Chapter: Thanks to Zhu Zhengsong and Chaos Mage for the Tips]

Bai Ranmo still had no idea that his bargain-bin master thought Bibi Dong had killed him and was furiously beating up Er Bidong.

Bai Cangyue, whose Martial Soul was Dark Shadow, had brought him to the Ice and Fire Yin Yang Well. He had already worked out how to explain everything afterward.

He would say Bai Cangyue worshipped some god, and that god had taken an interest in his talent. Why hadn't he received divine power? He was too young, that was why.

Surely a Titled Douluo like Bai Cangyue wouldn't go out of his way to put on an act with a child, right?

Bai Ranmo also planned to bring back a few Immortal Herbs. He had to give one to Chuantao, at least, and some to Tianyue and Zhao Yunxiao. Friends he got along with were hard to come by.

Then there was his unfortunate martial niece, Qian Renxue. She had been born with level-twenty Soul Power, and playing Crown Prince was a complete waste of it. He could give her an Immortal Herb too. After all, the stronger Qian Renxue became, the easier it would be to carry out his future plans.

Bai Ranmo grinned. That was right—he had already thought up the next part of the script!

With this many Emotion Points in hand, it would be a shame not to stir up more trouble!

Before long, all of Bai Ranmo's clones had arrived at Sunset Forest, apart from Hei Ranbai and the clone assigned to taunt Gangzi.

Getting Li Bai out of the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Sect was simple enough. He usually liked spending time alone on the mountain behind the sect, and hardly anyone went there.

He left a letter saying he was off to roam the world, then slipped away with Bai Cangyue's help.

Everyone absorbed the Immortal Herb best suited to them.

After absorbing the Octagonal Mysterious Ice Grass and Infernal Delicate Apricot, Li Bai tempered his body until it was impervious to ice and fire. But too much of a good thing could be hard to digest, so he ate just one more Nine-Grade Purple Ganoderma, raising his cultivation from level fifteen to level twenty.

Bai Ranmo's original body was even more outrageous. After consuming Autumn Water Dew and Narcissus Jade Muscle Bone, he had Bai Cangyue take him to hunt a thousand-year Soul Beast with the ability to seal space. His cultivation shot straight to level twenty-nine—and he wasn't even seven!

Toji also reached level ninety-three, putting level ninety-four within reach.

Bai Cangyue, meanwhile, reached level ninety-six.

No wonder so many fanfics had their characters raid the Ice and Fire Mandarin Duck Pot. Rapid advancement with no side effects, plus a boost to talent? It felt incredible!

Dugu Bo had been sitting on a mountain of treasure without knowing it, only to have everything he owned swindled away in the end.

Bai Ranmo spared Dugu Bo a second of sympathy... Oh, wait. Toji had already cut him down, hadn't he? Never mind, then. May Buddha Tang watch over you. Amen!

Kind as Bai Ranmo was, how could he bear to let Dugu Bo walk the road to the underworld alone?

Naturally, he had to send Dugu Bo's granddaughter along to keep him company!

Dugu Bo: Well, thanks a lot!

Spirit Hall.

Inside the Worship Hall.

The atmosphere in the Worship Hall was solemn that day. No one spoke.

The seven Consecrations had brought their juniors before the Angel God Statue.

Beneath the statue, Qian Daoliu stood with his eyes closed and his palms pressed together, praying with utmost devotion.

Not a sound came from those below.

Tianyue gritted her teeth in anger, her face full of regret. How could Bai Ranmo be dead?

Damn that Pope! If Tianyue weren't so weak right now, she would have stormed the Pope Hall and given Bibi Dong a beating. Come to think of it, Bibi Dong hadn't been willing to see anyone lately. She was probably afraid of the Worship Hall.

Then Tianyue thought of that stinking Fox Hu Liena and her smug face, and clenched her fists. I can't take your teacher, but you? Just wait. One day after class, I'm dragging you into the woods and beating the crap out of you.

Beside her, Sun Chuantao was sobbing uncontrollably. How could he have such rotten luck?

He had gone out to hunt for a Soul Ring, looking forward to obtaining his First Soul Ring. But in an ordinary Soul Hunting Forest, of all places, he had run into a Ten-Thousand-Year Soul Beast and gotten separated from the Soul Master accompanying him.

Badly wounded, Sun Chuantao had stumbled into a pit. After eating a strange herb he found there, he felt his body recover instantly.

Once he absorbed his First Soul Ring, his level even jumped to eighteen. He had wanted to tell Big Brother the good news, but how could Big Brother have... how could he...

When Qian Daoliu finished his devout prayer, he turned his head slightly. Beneath his calm voice lay a trace of grief he could not hide. "Everyone, I, Qian Daoliu, spent more than 140 years alone. Late in life, fate brought me my disciple, Bai Ranmo. He was born with extraordinary gifts, yet he was so irrepressible that he finally stirred the still waters of my heart. Though we were master and disciple for only a short time, I came to regard him as my own son. People meet and part; the moon waxes and wanes. Though an accident took his life, I know he will return to the embrace of the Divine Ancestor, the Angel God."

"Now let us honor the Divine Ancestor together. May Ranmo's soul return to us at this moment so we can say our final farewells!"

With that, Qian Daoliu pressed his palms together once more and bowed deeply to the golden-glowing statue of the Six-Winged Angel.

Everyone present bowed as well, their expressions touched with emotion.

Ever since the former Pope and Xiao Xue had died, the Great Enshrined had often stood alone beneath the Angel God Statue to pray. He had been like a cold machine, without family or feeling. No one in the Worship Hall—not even the Consecrations—knew Qian Renxue had gone undercover. It wasn't a matter of distrust. Some secrets simply became more likely to leak the more people knew them.

Now, just when he had finally gained a disciple, the Pope had killed the boy... Fate could be cruel.

Just then, the doors of the Worship Hall were kicked open.

A carefree voice rang out. "I was wondering where you'd all gone. Couldn't find anyone anywhere. Why's everyone here worshipping the Angel God Statue? Is today some kind of holiday?"

Everyone turned, shock and disbelief written across their faces.

There stood a child in round black sunglasses, a can of soda in his hand, looking entirely at ease.

Beside him stood a black-haired woman, her face expressionless and dark energy radiating from her body. The Consecrations sensed her Soul Power fluctuations: she was a level-ninety-six Super Douluo.

Clearly, she was the one who had pushed open the Worship Hall doors. While their attention had been fixed on the prayers, she had slipped in without a sound.

Bai Ranmo glanced at the flood of Emotion Points filling his display and grinned. He sauntered over. "Chuantao, you got your First Soul Ring, right? What's your Soul Skill?"

Sun Chuantao stared blankly at Big Brother. After a long moment, he burst into tears. "Waaah... Big Brother, you died so horribly! Even in death, you remembered to ask about my Soul Skill and came back as a spirit to see me. Thank you, Big Brother!"

"What? A ghost?" Bai Ranmo froze.

Zhao Yunxiao swallowed and edged closer. "Ranmo," he said softly, "people reincarnate after they die. You can join Spirit Hall again in your next life, so you should move on. If there's anything you left unfinished, tell us. We'll do our best to see it through!"

"What?" Bai Ranmo looked utterly lost. He raised his head and finally saw his own memorial portrait and empty grave.